DiscoverParenting & Families

Lost Arrows - Coping With the Death of a Child


Loved it! 😍

Created in the hope of helping other parents move forward after losing a child, "Lost Arrows" is a good starting point in the grief journey.

S. E. Huffaker brings up an excellent point in the first few sentences of Lost Arrows. He describes a scene from a TV show in which the characters talk about how there isn't a word for when you've lost a child. When you lose your parents, you're an orphan, and when you lose a spouse, you're a widow. It's hard not to agree with Huffaker that a term needs to be created. Huffaker wrote Lost Arrows - Coping With the Death of A Child, to help others who've gone through the same unbearable experience that he has.

When his son Dylan was born, they soon knew his life wouldn't be normal or long. After a reconstructive surgery to prolong his life, Huffaker's marriage deteriorated and his presence in his children's life became almost non-existent despite his best efforts. He wasn't able to be there for a majority of Dylan's life, but fortunately was able to reconnect during what turned out to be the last few years of Dylan's life. Huffaker says he could write a book about the events after his divorce, and frankly, he should. It sounds like it would quite the story. The remaining chapters of the book go over strategies and exercises the author has come across that he has found helpful in his own grief journey and hopes that readers will find them beneficial as well.

In chapter 2, the author talks about other traditions and rituals of other cultures concerning death and funerals. It is an interesting looking into other cultures' relationship with loss, but it would have been more informative if the author had gone into more detail about whether these are more traditional rituals and whether they were what everyone in that culture did or still does. Just like in western culture, it probably has changed over time in other parts of the world. Also, it was an odd choice to define racism before giving a diverse look at grief and mourning in other cultures; however, this shows he has done research and wants to write an informed book.

The advice and resources that Huffaker highlights in his book are all helpful jumping-off points for readers. The one that struck me the most was how to find the right balance of how much to dwell on a loved one's remembrance without becoming overwhelmed with emotions. Personally, this was something I struggled with in my own experiences of grief. I don't have children myself, but ways of handling grief are not entirely exclusive and anyone can find something helpful in this book. Huffaker also says that while he includes a lot of resources, that if a reader believes they need professional help, they should seek that out. I liked that this wasn't a self-help book claiming that it would fix everything. Grief is difficult to deal with, but Lost Arrows can help those who read it.

Reviewed by

Sarah is a freelance book reviewer in the Greater Chicago area. They have a lifelong love of reading and learning and believes that books can change lives. Their goal is to work with and help authors bring their writing to a community of readers.

About the author

Scott (S.E.)Huffaker is a diverse businessman who is an entrepreneur, banker, investor, musician and now an author. Scott is truly just an ordinary guy who has had some extraordinary experiences that have allowed him to have insight into the subject matter of his newly released book Lost Arrows! view profile

Published on March 06, 2022

Published by

30000 words

Genre: Parenting & Families

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