Earning Lessons
We are here to learn lessons. That’s life’s gift to us. When lessons are learned, we evolve. Lessons carve us into who we are created to be. We are meant to have experiences, learn the lessons, live by them, share them and teach them. Lessons are a self-taught education. There is no greater wisdom you can attain to guide you through life than a real hard-earned lesson. Lessons are hard. They are introduced to us repeatedly in different ways until we “get it”; until we grow through it and are ready for the next one headed our way. Sometimes that can sting. I have been revisited by the same lesson in a different outfit more times than I can count. It is crazy to keep recycling experiences without learning from them. I finally had to do the inner work and come to terms with the changes I needed to make for myself. I had some growing pains, but my life is better for it. Is that not our life’s work? To learn lessons, and use them to create a better existence for ourselves and others? Lessons equip us to improve our relationship with ourselves, break generational habits, N i c o l e R i c c i 2 deepen our connections and understanding in love relationships and friendships, and to be the best version of ourselves. Lessons can be cocky. They can return with hostility. Or irony. They can be simple; they can be complex. They can be easy; they can be difficult. They can be humorous in hindsight; or not so humorous. They can be costly, very costly if we aren’t willing to accept them the first or second time around. They can cost not only money, but worse, time that you cannot get back, or part of yourself. We must be open to receiving lessons and making sense of them; to look deeper into unfavorable experiences and extract meaning from them. Those nuggets of insight often end up being our lifelong companions. What kind of naïve life would we be living had we not learned some lessons along the way? I wish I had been willing to learn from lessons of my parents, sisters, older friends, wiser people. Instead, I was doggedly determined to do it my way. I thought I had to learn everything for myself. It’s true that some lessons are intended just for you. They are personal. There is something unique to you, to your blossoming that you need to learn on your own. But many lessons can be learned if we just listen to the stories of others. Read books. Talk to your grandparents. Make friends with people of all cultures, ages, backgrounds and share stories. Those lessons can be borrowed and adopted. It’s not cheating. It’s just a short cut. A “life hack” if you will. A smart one, if you ask me. Some advice: Keep a journal. When you’re going through something or searching for meaning in your patterns, write in your journal. There’s something magical about writing the lesson L e s s o n s E a r n e d 3 down in ink on paper. It gives it life, makes it real. It stares back at you like a fact. You can then take that lesson a little bit more seriously. It burrows a little deeper into your being. You store it in your emotional filing cabinet. You can call on it next time a situation arises that needs you to have this wisdom under your belt. A lessons reference manual. I have learned many lessons in four decades. And, I know I have many more lessons coming my way. I’m not near the end of my healing, my learning, or my growing journey. What I do know for sure is I am going to be looking out for them. And I welcome them. Sometimes what seem like the worst moments of your life are not the worst moments of your life. They are lessons. Facing difficulties is inevitable. Learning from them is optional. They are opportunities. Pieces of the puzzle meeting where they belong. Dots connecting. The mosaic coming together, piece by piece.
LESSON EARNED: Reflect on your life. Observe the patterns. Lessons will reappear until you “get it”. Learn the lessons. You’ve earned those lessons. Take them with you on your journey through life and use them as a compass. Share them with others. You may save them a lot of suffering and time
