Jacob. My brother. He is alive. And he is a wolf.

I throw my arms over his shoulders and pull him into a tight hug. He was killed in an attack when I was ten. Or so I thought. He is tense, but he slowly relaxes and puts his arms around me.

The wolf in the woods, the one that watched over me the night the family was attacked, was my brother. The eyes that felt so familiar were his; the ones he shares with my dad.

I pull back slightly and look into the green eyes I never thought I would see again.

“Jacob. How are you alive?” I sputter, my mind reeling with questions.

 He doesn’t answer. I feel Wren shift behind me and I turn around. I’m about to ask the obvious question, but the answer and guilt are written all over his face.

He knew.

The palm of my hand collides with his face with a deafening smack. Of all the things to keep from me. My brother has been alive, and he never told me.

I spin back to Jacob. “Do Mom and Dad know? Am I the only one who’s been kept in the dark, like I have been with everything else?”

He shakes his head.

My hand goes to my mouth. I need to tell my parents. The death of my brother has haunted all of us. All my other current dilemmas pale in comparison.

My brother is alive! “They’ll be so happy, so . . .”

Amazed is the word on the tip of my tongue when, for the first time in ages, I hear my brother talk. His voice is deeper than I remember, but he was only a teenager the last time I saw him, spoke to him. Now, he is a man. “Jamie, we can’t tell them I’m alive.”

What? Why? There is finally good news and I am vibrating with happiness.

I shake my head. “No? Are you kidding me? Mom and Dad are going to be over the moon when they learn you’re alive. You don’t know how hard it has been on them, losing you.”

He presses his lips together into a grim line. “Seriously, Jamie, we can’t tell them. I wasn’t even planning on telling you. I hadn’t expected you to be in Edward’s office or I wouldn’t have come here.”

I turn to look at Wren and he looks just as grim as my brother.

“What am I missing? You’re alive. This is fantastic news!”

Wren reaches out and grabs my arm. “Jamie, it’s been a very long day, why don’t we go get food and we can discuss this later?”

“No, Wren, we are going to discuss this now!”

“Jamie, please. Let’s just give it a little time for you to adjust to everything we just talked about first.”

In the past hour, I not only discovered that I have been destined to be bound to Wren since before I was born, but that if I don’t complete the ceremony every Wolf Warriors will die come spring. Every day, my chances of having a normal life seem to crumble further.

I turn back to Jacob. “Tell. Me. Now.”

Jacob looks uncomfortable. He nervously looks over my shoulder at Wren, like he is asking permission.

It is my life. Why does everyone keep thinking they can spoon feed it to me and I will be okay with it?

He must get the approval he needs. “Let’s go back into Edward’s office. What I am about to tell you is not common knowledge. I’d like to discuss it in private.”

As we return to Edward’s office, the bookcase-lined walls and arched ceilings seem to tighten in on me. Clouds have covered the sun, causing the light in the room to be dimmed as it streams through the large arched window framing Edward’s desk. I settle into the same spot I occupied earlier on the couch, wishing for the warmth of a fire as cold settles into my bones. Wren hands us each another glass of amber liquor from the crystal decanter. Difficult conversations pair well with liquor.

“Jamie, I don’t know where to start.”

“How about why you never told your family you were alive? For the last fifteen years we all thought you were dead.”

He takes a deep breath, lets it out, and rakes his hands through his red hair. “I’m going to die in a few months, so I didn’t want to break all of your hearts again.”

My brain refuses to comprehend his words as he continues to talk. “Once you preform the binding ceremony with Wren, I will be killed with the other tainted wolf spirits.” His words and his eyes each tell me something different, as if he is speaking one thing but it doesn’t match what he wants to say. “I was one of the Eldest Brother’s followers when I was away from Accalia. Even though I have seen the wrong in my ways, my spirit is part of his line and will be eliminated with them.” This is the first time I have seen or talked with my brother since I was little; the excitement and grief are muddled inside of me, competing with each other in my heart.

When I was ten, my older brother, Jacob, and his friends were brutally attacked. They were celebrating graduating high school by camping in the park. It was presumed there were no survivors of the carnage. The image I saw on the internet of a bloody handprint on the side of a tent has stayed with me to this day. I can’t take my eyes off the brother I thought I had lost forever. With eye coloring so similar to my dad’s, I was constantly reminded of the brother I would never see again. Until now.

“The Eldest Brother didn’t want anyone to know that I had survived and had been infected with the wolf spirit. It was part of his plan. After the change, he brought me into his ranks, always keeping me . . . close.

“The Eldest Brother and his followers, The Brother Warriors, as they’re known, live very differently than the Wolf Warriors that live in The Academy. They don’t have one home, but roam as they please in the forests. They don’t follow the strict rules that The Order has created; they exist on their own.

“Many have pushed their humanity down and let the wolf take over, acting more on the wolf instinct than the human. They are savage and kill without a thought. They have tainted the wolf spirit.” As Jacob trails off, I see his eyes darken. In regret or frustration, I can’t tell. As my brother becomes lost in thought, Wren shifts to look at me and begins filling in some details.

“The wolf spirit was intended to help protect humankind, or that is what the legends say. Most of the books dating back to the beginning of the Wolf Warriors burned in a fire. The wolf spirits that have been tainted need to be released so that they can be purified. This is where we come into play.

“You are the White Wolf, the only female known to house the wolf spirit. According to the prophecy, once we are bound, our spirit lines will unite and this action will free all the tainted wolf spirits, killing their hosts in the process.

“This will destroy the Eldest Brother, the evil, immortal wolf spirit that defected when he wasn’t chosen by the leader of Accalia’s daughter to marry. Because my ancestor, the leader of Periculum, didn’t pay the price for the Wolf Warriors that protected his people, the spirit tried to take its own payment, resulting in blood lust. Resulting in the Eldest Brother.”

My brother was part of the Eldest Brother’s following. I cringe at what he must have been doing the last fifteen years. Even if he made past mistakes, it doesn’t mean I think he deserves to die. If I bind myself to Wren, he will die. He is my only brother and I don’t want to lose him again.

I am out of my seat before I realize what I am doing and storm over to the large window behind Edward’s desk. The window frames the valley perfectly, with the white-capped peaks towering over the town below. The large lake on the edge of town looks dark and foreboding with the overcast sky. This is the window I wanted to look into as a kid, and now, knowing what I do, there is a weight heavy on my shoulders.

Growing up, I spent so many hours staring up at The Academy, which seemed to loom over the town. It had felt special in its appeal to me. Now, it feels like it is slowly shredding me to pieces.

A hand lands on my shoulder, causing me to jump. I whip around to see Wren’s yellow-brown eyes staring back at me. He doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t have to. I am not all right and he knows it. He stands next to me as I stare out at Accalia below. It’s the same town I grew up in, yet it feels different now. My life was fake before, full of so many hidden secrets. As messed up as it is, this is real, this is my life.

The sky fills with pink and orange as the sun begins to set. My brother hasn’t said a word and I wonder if he is still in the room. An unwanted comfort emanates from Wren as he stands next to me. He is part of this. He has been lying to me since we met. Yet his presence near me seems to finally calm my erratic heart.

Pulling my eyes away from the view of Accalia below, I notice Jacob has moved to the couch. There is a fire burning, warming up the room. As if he feels my stare, he looks over at me with the eyes that match my Dad’s. It’s the final straw and something breaks inside me as my vision goes hazy and I crumble to the ground.

Strong arms catch me and pull me in.

I’m struggling to handle today, yet I can feel tomorrow will only bring more.