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How to Talk To Your Enemies: 101+ Ways to Turn Hostility into Peace


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A must-read for anyone who desires a comprehensive toolbox to build healthy relationships, break down walls, and enjoy peaceful interactions

Who wouldn’t like to live in a world devoid of divisions, racism, or emotional pain on an individual or group level? It sounds like a pipedream. Yet, this book is for you if you’d like to improve your relationships at home, work, and the wider society. It is packed with practical resources for every situation. It offers hope to turn your “enemies” around with thoughtful conversations.

We’ve heard of “being the change you’d like to see”. With the help of this book, we can all become influencers of peace through how we communicate with others.

The book is divided into three parts. Part One provides you with a “mindful communications framework” to help you understand why we say what we say. The author also unpacks hostility and the power of empathy, compassion, and kindness.

Part Two provides the bulk of communication tools you’ll need. This will allow you to tackle “hot-button conversations”. You’ll learn words to use, body language to pay attention to, how to listen, when to stay silent, how to apologize, ask questions, forgive, and make requests rather than demands. What resonated with me is the tip on how to “tell your truth without harming”, something we'd all appreciate. Part Three is short and looks at “Where do we go from here?”

I like the author’s style of writing. Dunams writes with wisdom and grace. She shares personal insight and experience to provide easy-to-follow guidelines for difficult situations. She explains concepts, phrases, and approaches that are inclusive and culturally sensitive. The book references lessons from a wide variety of belief systems, and world leaders who led by example.

I especially liked Dunams’ Platinum Rule: Treat others the way they’d like to be treated. And to ask in a mindful way if you don’t know what that involves. There is a lot of information in this book. But if you put into practice this one rule only, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a peacemaker of note.

This book is for everyone. But it will take time and effort to build better personal relationships. And what a difference it would make in companies and organizations that use it in team-building exercises! Finally, I could see it used as a timeless reference book to return to again and again. I highly recommend it.

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Why Talk to My Enemy?

About the author

Alicia Dunams is an international leadership speaker and peacemaker. With more than 20 years of experience working as an executive coach, with certifications as a mediator and diversity and inclusion specialist, she actively serves on the communication board of a restorative justice nonprofit. view profile

Published on June 06, 2023

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50000 words

Genre: Self-Help & Self-Improvement

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