In 2016, our lives began to drastically change as God allowed us to know Him outside of religion. By religion, we are referring to how we were taught things from the Bible, the traditions we followed, and the rules we obeyed. Before that moment in time, we thought that Christianity was the only path to God, and without religion we would be lost, without love and headed for Hell. We believed it was the only “right way” to live and to seek His face. We thought it was the only way to “carry our cross and follow Him.” Anyone living outside of the Christian faith, and more specifically the Apostolic Pentecostal doctrine, for us, was a lost soul in need of salvation. But we have since discovered, that was not true. We realized we were hoodwinked.

It was a hard reality to face. Everything we embraced as “truth” was worthy of being questioned at that point because we had encountered a situation when God Himself was contradicting our teaching and understanding of who He was and is to us. We had to go back to the beginning of our walk and ask ourselves questions like: “who taught us this;” “where did they get this from;” “why do we live this way;” “are we following traditions of men;” and “are we holding on to someone else’s understanding of God?”

One of our former pastors shared a story about a woman fixing a ham according to her family’s tradition, which directed her to cut off the end of the ham and throw it away. It was then that she presumed it could be baked to perfection. Everything changed when someone watched her prepare the ham and questioned why she threw the end part away. The woman responded, “I don’t know. This is how my mother taught me.” Therefore, to get more clarity the woman asked her mother, but her mother did not know the answer. Her mother’s response was, “That was how my mother taught me.” The woman then took her questioning a step further and asked her grandmother. Her grandmother had the same answer. Finally, the woman asked her great grandmother, “Why do we cut off the end of the ham and throw it away? I’ve learned that the end of the ham is good to eat.” Her great grandmother said that the backside of the ham did not fit into the small oven she had, so she had to cut off the end to make it fit.

That was it! The action was the right judgment call for the great grandmother at the time but not applicable to her great-granddaughter, who had a larger oven and pan to accommodate a ham. Religion can be that way sometimes. Religious leaders make judgment calls in the form of rules to make the best decisions according to their understanding or resources at the moment. Still, it does not make that judgment call unchangeable.

To ask a question is to elicit new information; it is to get an understanding. With the right heart and mind, it is not disrespectful to ask questions about traditions. It is funny how the desire to ask hard questions in religion can cause some households to be shunned or said that we are “letting in the enemy”. If the great-granddaughter did not ask the question, she and her children would still be wasting ham in ignorance.

Our Journey

We started this journey to fall in love with God and to fall in love with “truth.” We spent countless hours reading and purchasing resources to help us understand the Bible. We even attended a form of seminary called Purpose Institute. We learned the history of the church as a body of believers and as a business. Unfortunately, the saying stands true: we were only as smart as the company we kept and the resources we read.

God, the Spirit, Energy, and the Creator predate the Christian faith and all other religions. We thought that without religion, we would be lost in our search of Him. Our understanding now is that religiosity and spirituality are not the same.

All of this brought us to a point to separate ourselves from the teaching that burdened us so that we could live out the liberation that God’s love afforded us. Initially, we thought we were called to start our own church. Then, we realized it was a call to live out our truth in any form necessary. So, we started on the path to free ourselves from dogmatic religious beliefs that had defined our lives for years. And that change is responsible for inspiring this book. We collectively and individually experienced things during that period that led us to this very moment to share our journey with you.

But before we proceed, we want to make something clear. This book is not for everyone. It is not written to solicit negative opinions (even though they will come). This book is our journey. This book is purposed to offer those that are burdened another perspective and to offer comfort, solace, and understanding for others. For this is what we needed during our detox from the system of religion. Leaving religion is not leaving God. God and “doing church” are not the same.

Going to church is not going to God. That is like saying going to Home Depot is like going to your house. You can purchase and use Home Depot’s products to add value to your house, but Home Depot is not your house. You can use the church to add value to your relationship with God, but the church is not God. It is only a tool and a resource, but it is not Him.

This book is not doctrine or law and prohibited from being formed into one. This book is not a tool to encourage people to leave their religious institutions or churches because some may need those communities and structures to live for God. At the same time, there are others like us who do not. Some people prefer to hirer others to complete repairs and maintenance on their homes while others may choose to do the work themselves. All that matters is that the house is kept, no matter the path or store used.

This is a self-help book for those who have experienced a similar journey or are looking to understand why they may feel burdened by their walk with God while questioning protocols. It is especially for those who were indoctrinated like us in a cult-like environment. This book explains seven burdens that we endured while in Christianity that hoodwinked us and what we learned that liberated us as we began to understand God’s love and the true freedom that God gives.

This book aims not to demonize or talk about all the “hypocrites” in church. Frankly, that is not a helpful narrative and doesn’t help any of us move forward after or while living in religion. Unburdening yourself requires you to realign your expectations and look at the scriptures from a more holistic standpoint. The stories we share are not to point fingers or fuel bitterness for anyone who may have experienced pain within the church. We use our experiences to describe our ignorance and the mistakes we made, which caused us to become hoodwinked. And we take full responsibility for our actions.

We will take you through the unburdening process that allows us to sing any Christian song and enjoy it without that familiar gnawing empty feeling inside. There is no more longing to achieve the freedom many songs tell us is possible. We can live it, burden-free. We are learning to live in our new normal. We now understand love, freedom, and ourselves, and no man or doctrine can take that away.

We don’t know what freedom looks like for you, but we are happy to experience the freedom to discover who we are. Freedom to evolve. Freedom to make mistakes. Freedom to live our best lives. Freedom to love all. Freedom to not know an answer. Freedom to change. Freedom to be free. We are more open-minded and liberated than ever before! And it’s because we unburdened ourselves from religiosity.

The same experience can be real for you if you are looking for it. The good news is, God gave you everything you need to do so, and it’s wrapped up in free will. He gave us the power to choose - good or bad; right or wrong. Why? Because you are learning and experiencing life as a journey. God is not afraid of sin. He understands that sin will forever be a thorn in our flesh.

Our journey has not led us away from God. Quite the contrary. Our understanding and perception of God have shifted after religion; our faith actually increased! Christianity teaches that God is an outside spiritual-being we must discover. Then, He comes into our hearts, which unfortunately is not practical teaching. It does not teach God as an internal energy deposited into us at birth. That deposit is the capacity to love (God is love) and we must do the work to cultivate it. Religion doesn’t teach self-discovery. God is understood by the things He has made (Romans 1: 20-21). We are made by Him. Religion doesn’t allow people to have a direct relationship with God like God intended since the beginning. If it did, there would be no need for religion in the way it is experienced today.

We hope that you will join us on this journey of self-discovery and enlightenment as we expound on some principles we were taught about this God we desperately wanted to learn about. For those who of you that still may struggle with your beliefs after reading this book, our hope and prayer are that you will allow yourself to consider that God is bigger than the box religion may have confined Him to. May this book be what He uses to help you see that. Either way, we ask that you keep an open mind and an open heart as you journey with us.