In the pages of Finding Her. Being Her: A Journey of Poems, Nilam Patel invites readers on a profound exploration of self-discovery, healing, and celebration. Initially written as a means of personal healing, this book evolved into a beacon of inspiration and empathy for young girls and women in all stages of life. Each carefully crafted poem serves as a gateway to introspection, leaving readers lost in thought as they reflect on
their experiences. With chapters dedicated to femininity, grief, relationships, self-love, and motherhood, this collection unveils the complexities and beauty of womanhood.
In the pages of Finding Her. Being Her: A Journey of Poems, Nilam Patel invites readers on a profound exploration of self-discovery, healing, and celebration. Initially written as a means of personal healing, this book evolved into a beacon of inspiration and empathy for young girls and women in all stages of life. Each carefully crafted poem serves as a gateway to introspection, leaving readers lost in thought as they reflect on
their experiences. With chapters dedicated to femininity, grief, relationships, self-love, and motherhood, this collection unveils the complexities and beauty of womanhood.
Without a woman’s
strength,
courage,
and love,
god himself
would not
exist.
While boys play,
girls will clean,
while men relax,
women will cook,
while brothers study,
sisters will serve,
while fathers are praised,
mothers will be judged,
while husbands work,
wives will give up passions,
but while the male mind is simple,
the female mind remains complex,
and while gods gloat,
goddesses will
create
entire
universes.
How is a
woman
who is
responsible for
creating life,
creating a home,
creating love,
not worshipped
like anything but
a goddess?
Why is it so difficult to
take care of ourselves,
at least as much
as we take care of
everyone else?
Our bodies have hearts,
but our minds have souls.
Our bodies make the change,
before our minds break the habit.
Our bodies are no longer in pain,
but our minds remember our cries.
Our bodies dance to the tune,
while our minds question the lyrics.
Our bodies act in haste,
while our minds tread softly,
for delicate wounds can heal,
but scars are never forgotten.
We doubt our abilities,
giving others a chance
to praise us.
We question our instincts,
waiting for others
to save us.
Every move questioned,
every question dismissed,
knowing what’s best for me
without knowing me at all.
Surround yourself with people
that believe in your dreams,
even when you give up.
Spend time with those
that remind you of your passions,
even when the rest of the world
makes you forget.
The hand you nonchalantly
rested on my thigh,
haunts my thoughts
to this day.
When we dismiss red flags,
we ignore ourselves,
when we welcome toxicity,
we stop believing,
when we tolerate disrespect,
we forget what love feels like and
when we accept less than we are worth,
we begin living in someone else's dream.
When you’ve never tasted love before
you make up recipes for it.
Without knowing the ingredients,
you imagine the flavor and how it’s served;
but right when you think you’ve found it,
you take your first bite and
discover you’ve mistaken it
for poison.
The world tricks us into thinking
we have to be busy to be successful;
that ambition can only be related to
a career or wealth.
Let's accept ambition to also mean
a balancing act of all of our worlds
that includes the intangible luxuries
that most do not think they have control of;
a warm home,
a close family,
time for passions,
being mentally present for others,
or time to be with your own thoughts.
Know when to stop and just be,
rather than constantly
thinking about what is next.
You may have already achieved it,
only to continue walking past it.
Letting others define your goals
will only leave you
chasing after a dream
that was never yours.
She felt like a ghost,
walking around
in a world that existed
without her.
She embraced her
deepest weakness,
held its delicate hands,
and as she cared for it,
it became her
greatest strength.
She laughed and danced
under the peach sunsets
she had once called home.
She was carefree and breezy,
not thinking of the sunrise
and what was soon to come.
She mingled, chatting away,
unveiling her deepest secrets,
trusting others, before
trusting herself.
We lower our gaze
when facing the sun;
it can spark our flame
or burn us
to ashes.
In Finding Her Being Her: A Journey of Poems, the talented Nilam Patel presents a series of poetry celebrating women in three parts; Finding Her, Being Her, and Loving Her. Originally intended for her own healing and self-discovery, the book evolved into something bigger; a message to females, young and older, to inspire and offer empathy. Themes explored include ‘femininity, grief, relationships, self-love, and motherhood’ that embark on a journey that tells of the ‘complexities and beauty of womanhood.’
Upon opening, the book has a very ‘Eastern’ feel. From the start, it paints a stark difference between men and women, where the males pray, relax, study, and work, whilst the females clean, cook, serve, and sacrifice. It speaks of traditions that although still exist in the ‘West,’ are less noticeable among the younger generations and circumstances we take for granted.
Each poem remains nameless. One is never sure what they will quite stumble upon until they reach the end. It adds to the mystery of the content and satisfies the author’s desire to ‘provide a gateway to introspection, leaving readers lost in thought as they reflect on their experiences.’ Though the poems are short, they are impactful and lingering.
Amateur line drawings adorn the pages. They provide a personal feel as though looking into someone’s journal and reading their private thoughts unsolicited. Basic though they are, the doodles add slight color to what they accompany. They serve to form a bond with the author, a sisterhood as such amongst other women that may be reading and understanding these pages at the same time.
The world tricks us into thinking
we have to be busy to be successful;
that ambition can only be related to
a career or wealth.
Let's accept ambition to also mean
a balancing act of all of our worlds
that includes the intangible luxuries
that most do not think they have control of;
a warm home,
a close family,
time for passions,
being mentally present for others,
or time to be with your own thoughts.
Know when to stop and just be,
rather than constantly
thinking about what is next.
You may have already achieved it,
only to continue walking past it.
Letting others define your goals
will only leave you
chasing after a dream
that was never yours.
Within her writing, Patel unveils words of wisdom that speak from the heart of someone that has more than lived, they have survived and offer up lessons so that others might avoid some of the common pitfalls she befell.
To be the woman you’ve
been searching for in all the wrong places,
you must first find her within.
There lives a sense of poignancy in the words that dance upon the page, yet there is no bitterness. Just Patel’s own quiet reflection, acceptance, and willingness for change, whilst encouraging others to heed her words if they can.
Of all the parts, Being Her is probably the most captivating. Dedicated to motherhood, these poems speak of the joys as well as the miscarriages and rainbow births that many have experienced. She speaks to the loneliness of pregnancies that have failed to come to full term, delivering the heartbreaking facts with gentle simplicity that calls a lump to the throat.
Whilst this book is marketed towards women, fathers, brothers, sons, boyfriends, husbands, pick up this book. As a female (used in the loosest sense), we know of our struggles and this book tells us that we are not alone with them. These poems are messages of solidarity to us, but they are a wealth of secrets you will never know, if you never ask. More than anything, these poems are for people out there that need to understand the fragility, sacrifice, strength, power, and determination of women out there that have learned to put themselves deservedly first.