INTRODUCTION: A PERFECT SHITSTORM
Mike Tyson famously once said, “Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth.” But I say that some- times getting punched in the mouth is the best thing that can happen to you. Not by Mike Tyson, of course, that shit would hurt. By life. Knocked out cold in the fifth round with a bare-knuckled uppercut square to the jaw courtesy of the heavyweight champion of the world. Kicked so hard, right in the cajones, that you see stars beyond the observable universe. A shitstorm on such a grand scale that you have to call in FEMA to clean up the aftermath.
Life hasn’t always been easy for me—and I’m sure it hasn’t always been easy for you. That’s why I’ve embarked on this fantastic journey. I wanted to share some of my biggest catastrophes—and greatest comebacks—in an effort to help people who may have experienced a serious hardship, traumatic event, or just a general fuck-up, to live their absolute best lives.
But this book isn’t about me, this book is about you. Because if I was able to make it through—thriving—I know you can do the same.
I hope this book will inspire and motivate you to live with intention and determination. To realize that not getting what you thought you wanted at the time might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. To discover how a perfect shitstorm can turn your train wrecks into trophies, your failures into fortunes, and your disasters into dreams.
We all have dreams. That’s what makes us human. But sometimes those dreams don’t come true. Sometimes the hero doesn’t get the girl. Sometimes you get dumped on. But within these pages, I will challenge you to see that when you fail to get what you want, you’re better off for it.
Which reminds me: if you’ve made it this far, then I’m guessing you don’t mind the occasional use of an expletive if it helps to get a point across. If that’s true, then this book is for you. If not, then put it back on the shelf, or better yet, pass it along to someone who doesn’t give a shit about the casual use of profanity, but could use the encouragement and advice that can be found in these pages. I tell it like it is. And sometimes, let’s be honest, what IT is, is a total shitshow.
But shit isn’t all bad. It has its uses. For example, it’s the best fertilizer on the planet. It enriches the soil to better feed plant life, which, in turn, benefits animal life. In other words, shit can actually nourish and help things to grow.
Another great thing it does for us is rid us of waste and toxins.
So, what I’m saying is, when it seems like your life has gone down the toilet, it can actually be the start of something great—if you make it work for you.
I did. And now I’m living what some would call the American Dream. I’m a successful, self-made man living with my beautiful wife and daughter in our new dream home: A far cry from the rebellious, broke-ass, intoxicated, pissed-at- the-world punk rocker of my younger years. But I had to go through some tough shit to get here.
I got here by not allowing the fear of failure or the judgments of others to paralyze me.
I got here by realizing that not getting what you want can actually be an amazing blessing.
Most of all, I got here by being totally true to myself. And you can too.
Acknowledging your history and seeing the truth of it all will help you to better understand your failures for what they truly were: the building blocks toward your future success. And in looking back, you’ll find that the times you felt you failed to get what you wanted, you actually did end up getting what you wanted as a result—or something even better—later on down the road.
It’s more than “doing what you love” or “finding your passion.” Those sayings get tossed around self-help circles like dad jokes at a family BBQ. But guess what? People’s passions change. Some people never find their passion.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t pursue your dreams, you sure-as-shit should. But the universe has a twisted way of steering you in the right direction, and you gotta take those blinders off and be on the lookout at all times. Focusing too much on one dream can leave you imperceptive to the vast array of other opportunities that will be presented to you along your path. And they will be presented to you.
Success is always defined from your unique perspective, so the meaning is open to your interpretation. But to me it means freedom. Freedom to do what you want, when you want, and with the people you love. Freedom from punching a time clock. Freedom from the constant nagging worry of lack of money. Freedom of choice.
Success to me is living your life as fully as possible. And that’s where the “passion” should come in.
You see, before I got into real estate, it was not my “passion.” I didn’t always want to be a real estate agent when I grew up. I wanted to be a professional baseball player. When I walked past a real estate office the skies didn’t part, and I didn’t hear angels singing or any of that crap. But once I got into the field, I threw myself into it with passion. Because if I do a job, I want to do it well. If I provide a service, I want to provide the best service I possibly can. And if I’m handed a golden opportunity, you bet your sweet ass I’m gonna take it.
But this book is not about real estate, or any other profession for that matter. It’s about realizing that when you have an opportunity—you go for it, even if it’s not the opportunity you thought you wanted. It’s about being able to change directions when the road forks or ends at a cliff. It’s about being open to every possibility that may come your way, and then pouring your passion into it. It’s about acknowledging that when you fail, or don’t get what you want, that’s just the universe pushing you on to bigger and better things. It’s about kicking ass and taking names in the face of adversity.
THE PARADOX OF FAILURE
Did you make a mistake? Did something not turn out the way you planned? Good.
Maybe you needed to go through that to get where you’re going next. Without having gone through it, you would never have had the opportunities that you have now or will have. It’s something of a butterfly effect in that one seemingly insignificant event can dramatically change the outcome of an unrelated future event.
Know this: Whatever path you’re on, whatever goal you have, it’s not gonna turn out exactly like you planned. Plan for that. It might turn out way, way better.
Even if you fall flat on your ass at something, it’s all good. Even if your lifelong ambition of becoming a pirate turns out to be nothing more than a puppet show wearing an eye- patch. You’re better for it.
Trust that when things didn’t work out, they didn’t for a reason. The universe always has your back, and although you may not have known the reason at that time, you will. At a minimum, you’ll learn a valuable lesson, see an insightful new perspective, be guided in the right direction, or get a sweet new ass tattoo.
There are, of course, some horrific events and situations in our lives that don’t have a silver lining. I know—I’ve been scarred by my share of trauma, as you will read. What I am talking about here are those inevitable disappointments in life. Those times when your dreams came crashing down and you just wanted to give up. Those moments when you felt like the whole world was watching and judging you for being a loser. Those times in your life when you have failed.
But I say embrace failure. Love and appreciate failure. Respect failure. Failure is not the enemy but rather your best bro in a time of need. Your BFF when shit hits the fan.
I invite you to consider a new perspective: A perspective in which you consider all negative happenings as something positive down the road. Not just the mega life-changing events, but the mundane losses as well. The time you missed the damn bus and had to wait an extra hour sitting next to Crabby McCrabberson at the bus stop without your headphones. The time you bombed the interview for your dream job. The time you peed your pants at band camp, and everyone laughed at you. Yeah, the dumb shit.
Failure is a paradox in its most absolute form. Failure is a requirement of success.
The only way to avoid failure completely is to: 1. Lower your definition of success. 2. Never attempt anything in which failure is a remote possibility. Bo-ring.
Perception is reality, and the way you decide to interpret an event will dictate the reality you are about to experience next. This is law. You don’t have to be some backpacking, granola snacking, tree-hugging hippy to benefit from this either. It’s available to everyone. In fact, no one is immune to it. No one is above the law.
Whatever negative situation you find yourself in at this very moment is the result of the way you’ve been conditioned to think, the misguided beliefs that you hold so dear, and the subconscious feelings you have about yourself and the way the world works. But you can change all that right now.
To help you do this, I have added content to this book, including interviews with other entrepreneurs who have agreed to share their stories in hopes of encouraging you further on your own journey despite whatever obstacles come your way. You will also find sections for your own personal reflection (or what I call the “What About You?” — or “WAY”—pages). You may want to use a small notebook in which to write down your thoughts, so that you can look back on them at a later date. You might be surprised at how much you can learn from yourself!
Want to know more? Then turn the page to find out how I turned the epic shitshow of my life into the perfect shitstorm of success—and how you can too.
