It’s a good forty minutes until sunrise and the roads of Arnold Falls are empty, except for one silver Rascal mobility scooter making its way toward the courthouse.
Stopping at the corner of the park, Dubsack Polatino hops off his ride, singing a pidgin Italian version of “O Mio Babbino Caro”—“O mio brand-new caro, mi race car, è bello bello”—as he walks over to the “Jenny Jagoda for Mayor!” lawn sign. After pulling it out of the ground, he returns to his scooter with the sign and stake, singing in full grand-tenor mode, “Vo’andare with Portia de Rossi,” narrowly missing the actual lyric.
He drives along the sidewalk until he arrives at the next sign. Same routine, again and again, until the Jagoda signs are gone and only ‘Rufus for Mayor’ signs remain. He surveys his domain, pleased with his work as well as his version of the aria, humming it again, traversing several of the surrounding streets performing the same operation.
It’s starting to get light, so Dubsack Rascals to the back of the courthouse and tosses his haul into its large dumpster. He spots Hamster, the courthouse maintenance man, watching him from a second-floor window, and curtsies to him.
When he’s finished, Dubsack jumps back onto his scooter and cruises to The Chicken Shack on Hester Biddle for breakfast, singing the climax of Carmina Burana’s “O Fortuna,” letter-perfect, with hammering, war-cry fervor.
