Allen Telescope Array
At precisely 2:04am, a red light lit up a distant control panel. A notification also appeared on Jasmin’s phone.
Please God. Just one moment’s peace she thought, as she slapped it quiet.
As the mechanical noise faded, so the sounds of the night amplified. Insects in the shadows chittered, a distant toad called for a mate, and the wind whispered as it passed through the Allen Radio Telescope Array, ‘the so-called eyes’ of the US Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI). It was as if the vast field of equipment had a human breath. Now with a click and a groan of steel all 42 dishes turned as one to scan a new area of the night sky, a brand new vista to explore and dissect, thousands of as yet unknown stars and systems to discover.
The only person watching is me, Jasmin thought as she leant on the railing of the deck.
“Always just me,” she spoke aloud to the emptiness. Was this it? Was this her life now? Years of standing watching a field of satellite disks pointing up. At what?
I love you, Jasmin, the memory of her sister’s voice seemed to echo on the night’s breeze.
I hate this, she thought. I hate myself. Why did I do it?
In a blink of her eye, she was plunging, hair whipping across her face as her faceplate snapped open. No, she heard herself scream but at the last moment she snapped her teeth shut as with practiced discipline she stopped herself remembering the concrete floor below.
It’s over. It’s past. This is it now. Standing alone in the cold, this is what you get.
Her phone jiggled in her pocket.
What now?
The screen lit up with her twin’s photo. Jasmin pressed ‘answer’.
“Short Arse!” She had meant to be funny, but tonight she sounded spiteful..
May must have noticed the tone as well, because there was a pause before she replied:
“Peg Leg!” the nick name was punctuated with a nervous laugh. Jasmin nodded and joined in. Forced laughter was still laughter, wasn’t it? Jasmin wondered as her ghost leg tingled, and she looked down to check. Yes her leg was gone, she wore a long prosthetic from her hip to the floor.
Smack! There it was: the memory of her crashing onto the smooth hard concrete. A fall that had ended her astronaut training and landed her amidst the Allen Telescope Array. The worst part was that while she fought her way through grueling physio just to walk again, her twin sister had hop, skipped and jumped through the tests, examinations and panel assessments until tonight she served as Science Officer on the International Space Station. She glanced up at the constellation Ursa Major, the ISS would be coming from that direction tonight.
Okay. So her sister had made it. How much longer could she resent her?
Be normal. Act nice.
“How’s the view?” Jasmin said at last.
“I took some photos,” May replied. “I sent them to your phone.”
True enough, there was an unread message. Wish you were here, read the title.
For crying out loud, Jasmin despaired. So dreadfully unoriginal. And May was supposed to be a genius and a superwoman, that was the definition of an astronaut, no? Okay so May always said she had become an astronaut for her sakes. But had she really? All the striving, competing, just to prove one of them, the twins, the two Asian sisters, one of them was good enough? Now May had made it and with her success came endless ‘wish you were here’ messages.
Did May really think any of hers success could make up for what Jasmin had lost?
“We just flew over Italy,” May said. “It really does look like a glittering boot.”
“We just moved the Array, ” Jasmin intercut, but May ignored her.
“You know if more people could see Earth from space,” May continued, and even as she spoke Jasmin’s phone buzzed and jiggled. Her attention drifted. “We would just appreciate our home planet so much more.” May finished but Jasmin peered again at a red flashing notification at the corner of her screen.
“Sorry May, it’s one of the system alarms.” Jasmin said. “I’m the only one on duty, I can’t ignore it.”
“Sure thing,” May’s reply had a hint of forced chirpiness to it, like she knew she was being dismissed. Jasmin felt a pang, why did she behave like that with May? “Go do your thing , Jasmin. You’ll do great, you always do.”
Jasmin paused. How did one response to such impeccable niceness?
Jasmin’s phone beeped again, this time May heard it too.
“Sounds like it’s urgent - maybe it’s aliens.” She laughed lightly.
