SEVEN TRUTHS ABOUT ADDICTS
I was that person once, struggling every day to support my
parent / friend / partner / spouse / family member.
Each day would be the same: how would they come home?
I could always smell it first; always that same smell, same
look, same aggression and same attitude. I would instantly
become anxious, as I wondered if they were going to
be happy, sad or angry after their eight pints, packet of
cocaine or cannabis joint. I would worry in case the internet
connection played up, as this could seriously impact how
the day went, and then there was the constant eating and
cravings for sugar.
Thankfully, I don’t live that life anymore, as I am no longer
defined by an addicted person’s behaviour. I have learned
how to identify my true purpose, embracing what makes me
truly happy while controlling the fear, stress, anxiety, sadness,
hurt and anger that once consumed me. This has enabled
me to become more positive and fulfilled than ever before.
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Seven Trut hs About Addicts
How addictions form
Addiction is often the result of childhood experiences that
haven’t been fully processed or resolved, although this is not
always the case.
There are many types of addiction, eg to substances such as
tobacco, drugs and alcohol, or activities such as gambling,
shopping, and browsing the internet. When a person
has experienced any form of abuse, be it physical, sexual
or mental, it could later manifest as a downward spiral
into addiction.
The human brain evolved into its modern form over the
course of thousands of years, but its two primary functions
have always remained the same:
• To seek out pleasure
• To avoid pain
In prehistoric times, avoiding pain would have meant finding
shelter, hunting and gathering food to avoid starvation, and
protecting one’s self by maintaining a constant state of
vigilance against potential attacks.
Although our modern world is very different from that of
our ancient ancestors, our basic brain configuration hasn’t
really changed. We are still wired to seek out PLEASURE and
avoid PAIN.
As humanity has evolved, so too has our ability to create
and consume all manner of addictive substances, including
refined sugar, alcohol, nicotine, cannabis, cocaine, and
convenience foods. Even though we sometimes know that
we are overindulging to the point of dependence or longSUNA
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term personal detriment, our brains are so hardwired to the
pursuit of pleasure that we find ourselves unable to stop.
Seven truths about addicts
1. When we consume something addictive (eg nicotine),
our brain and body will crave it for as long as it is in
our system. Addictive substances connect to our
internal safety mechanisms, much like food and water,
tricking our subconscious mind into believing that
these products are essential for survival, regardless
of all evidence to the contrary. Thus, our inner-self
develops primal urges that may cause physical and
mental withdrawal symptoms as the substance leaves
the body, such as stomach cramps, mood swings or
hot sweats.
2. The addict’s subconscious mind does not want to be
cut off from the source of pleasure. When the addict
consumes whatever it is that they are craving, feelings
of anxiety and emptiness start to fade as withdrawal
symptoms subside. This is how addiction patterns
are formed.
3. When an addict says that they can go without the
source of their addiction for a day, a week or even a
month, they may be telling the truth. However, they
will not be able to rid themselves of cravings until
they are able to alter their underlying mental state,
as although the initial decision to take an addictive
substance is made consciously, it becomes a case of
the subconscious dictating usage after only the third
or fourth occasion.
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4. A person who struggles with addiction is also likely to
suffer with mental health issues and physical ailments,
both short-term and chronically.
5. There are many signs of addiction that may be evident
to others:
• Frequently appearing intoxicated.
• Developing issues with cognition and memory.
• Being lethargic, sleeping more, sleeping irregular
hours and appearing unwell or tired.
• Getting into trouble at work or school.
• Attending social events only if drugs or alcohol
are available; becoming intoxicated before the
social event, or declining to attend in order to
drink or use drugs alone.
• Neglecting personal hygiene.
• Displaying symptoms of a nervous disposition
(eg ticks, stutters, etc).
6. Substance addicts are likely to behave differently
while intoxicated than if sober. When intoxicated,
they may say or do hurtful things and become
violent or abusive. They may take control of money,
neglect family and friends, tell lies and be generally
deceitful, perhaps seeking extramarital affairs. They
may become depressed and lose self-confidence,
potentially leading to acts of self-sabotage that could
see them seriously risk their own lives as well as others’
(eg driving while intoxicated).
7. Although it is not always their intention, addicts will
often make others feel fearful by assigning blame for
their behaviour instead of taking responsibility. Within
their flawed frame of logic, there is always an excuse
for any transgression, and this will not change unless
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they are willing to admit to themselves that they have
a problem and are in need of support. This is centrally
important to your own healing, as there is nothing you
can do to help them until they reach this point, and it is
only through wholehearted acceptance of this fact that
you will discover if you have become addicted to the
addict and created a relationship of co-dependence.