Totems is a self-published passion project from a first-time author, born from a deeply personal conversation between father and son. In a culture where young men often lack clear direction, this book offers six powerful guiding “totems”—Purpose, Morals, Responsibilities, Strength, Knowledge, and Community—to help them build lives rooted in meaning and integrity.
Both timeless and timely, Totems is more than advice—it’s a father’s call to a generation of men to rise with intention, lead with principle, and live with purpose.
Totems is a self-published passion project from a first-time author, born from a deeply personal conversation between father and son. In a culture where young men often lack clear direction, this book offers six powerful guiding “totems”—Purpose, Morals, Responsibilities, Strength, Knowledge, and Community—to help them build lives rooted in meaning and integrity.
Both timeless and timely, Totems is more than advice—it’s a father’s call to a generation of men to rise with intention, lead with principle, and live with purpose.
I often find myself in conversation with my children, even as they navigate their adult years. It's fascinating to witness the adults they've become, and it's one of the greatest joys of my life. My son is the youngest and the only male. I take immense pride in being a big part of his life, guiding him through the transition from boyhood to manhood, just as I do with all my children’s life journey.
One day, out of the blue, my son sent me a text that would set off a chain of events that would change the way I think about life. “Do you read?” he asked.
“Read? Every day,” I replied, laughing. “What kind of question is that?”
His next message made it clearer. “Like books, Dad.”
I smiled and responded, “Yeah. I have plenty.”
Then he asked, “You read like men’s stuff. What’s a good book I should read?”
At first, I wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but the more he texted, the clearer it became. This wasn’t just about reading. This was about something deeper. Something that would change the way I thought about myself as a father and a mentor.
“What would you like to know more about?” I asked.
His answer shook me: “Being a man using my skills to excel in the world. I don’t know if they make books like that though.”
I could feel the weight of his words. It was hard to read my son express that he felt lost in this crucial moment of his life. The transition from boy to man is one of the most challenging parts of growing up, and despite everything I tried to provide for him—everything I worked so hard to give him—he was telling me that he didn’t feel prepared. And the truth hit me hard: in my efforts to give him the material things I didn’t have growing up, I hadn’t taught him enough about the intangible skills—the mindset, the wisdom, the grit—needed to thrive as a man.
But it’s never too late. I realized that the lessons I had learned through my own journey—lessons born from both failure and success—could still be passed down. And so began the journey that would lead me to write this book.
If I’m honest, it hurt to hear my son say he felt lost. But the pain also lit a fire within me. I knew exactly how he felt. At his age, I was in the same place—struggling to make sense of the world, unsure of how to step fully into manhood. I was battling similar doubts and insecurities, trying to carve out a life that mattered.
Now, as a man well into my 40s, having faced my own battles, achieved several milestones, and learned from the experiences that life has given me, I can look back and see how far I’ve come. I’ve gathered wisdom along the way—wisdom I wish I could have had at his age. And I realized that I wasn’t just writing this book for my son. This book was for any man who, like him, is feeling lost in the transition from boyhood to manhood.
Though this book began as a conversation between a father and his son, the lessons it holds are universal. I hope that as you read, you find yourself not just learning from my journey, but feeling empowered to walk your own path, with confidence, strength, and purpose.
I chose to present my ideas through the form of totems—symbols that have stood the test of time, stretching back thousands of years. Totems have always embodied power, guidance, and inspiration. They are enduring representations of values that predate civilization itself—etched into the consciousness of humanity since our earliest ancestors walked the earth.
In using totems, I want to call attention to something fundamental: while the world around us has evolved, the core tenets of manhood have remained largely the same. From ancient rites of passage—crossing treacherous terrain, confronting fearsome beasts, or setting sail into the unknown—the goal was never simply survival. It was transformation. These challenges were designed to teach discipline, forge resilience, instill strength, cultivate morals, and push individuals beyond what they believed possible.
Somewhere along the way, much of that clarity has been lost. The noise of modern life has obscured the foundational traits that once shaped us. This book is my attempt to bring them back into focus.
But let me be clear—this is not a prescriptive manual. It is not a checklist for how to become an exceptional man, nor is it a rigid doctrine to follow. Instead, what I offer you are timeless concepts—ideas meant to provoke thought, invite reflection, and inspire action. Some of these ideas may resonate deeply. Others may challenge you. Some may not apply at all. And that’s exactly the point.
Manhood is not one-size-fits-all. It’s a personal journey—complex, evolving, and uniquely yours. This book is meant to serve as a companion on that path. Think of it not as a detailed map, but as a compass—something to guide you, not dictate your every step.
I encourage you to read this book in its entirety. There may be moments where you expect answers in one chapter that are found in another. Trust the process. Approach it with openness, thoughtfulness, and patience. Let the ideas simmer. Question them. Wrestle with them. But above all, give them a fair chance to land before forming conclusions.
This journey you’re embarking on is not easy—but it is essential, rewarding, and transformative. And I am deeply humbled to walk beside you, even if only for a short part of your path. Welcome to Totems!
Author Jerome Brown has written a powerful, heartfelt guide written for young men navigating the transition from adolescence to manhood. Structured around six foundational pillars—or “totems”—this book offers timeless wisdom rooted in personal experience, cultural awareness, and deep moral clarity. Each totem represents a key domain every man must master to lead with strength, integrity, and purpose.
The journey begins with Purpose, the compass that gives a man direction and meaning. Brown emphasizes that a strong “why” can transform a man’s life, fueling perseverance through adversity and anchoring him during uncertainty. He encourages young men to discover their purpose through love, family, legacy, or inner ambition.
Morals form the second totem, advocating for a life built on principles like honor, empathy, authenticity, humility, and faith. Brown explains how integrity and character guide men in moments when no one is watching and how empathy, self-awareness, and spiritual grounding create strength that is both personal and communal.
The third totem, Responsibility, dives into obligations, accountability, and sexual discipline. Brown pushes back against blame culture, urging men to take full ownership of their lives and decisions, including finances, relationships, and impulses, reinforcing that power and peace come from control and maturity.
Knowledge is the fourth pillar, emphasizing lifelong learning, emotional intelligence, and the value of both education and experience. Brown promotes curiosity, adaptability, and a hunger for growth as essential traits of manhood.
The fifth totem is Strength—not just physical, but also mental and spiritual. Through discipline, resilience, and self-care, Brown frames strength as a holistic pursuit necessary for weathering life’s storms.
Lastly, Community stresses the importance of building and contributing to strong social networks, volunteering, and activism. A man is not an island—his impact on others shapes his legacy.
Ultimately, Totems is more than a manual; it's a modern rite of passage filled with compassion, challenge, and clarity. It’s an invitation to rise with purpose, lead with character, and live with meaning.