Toothless is a LitRPG Horror novel about four individuals who must navigate through a glitched game system that reads their minds and knows their fears. It is a gripping taleâ
[Hold up. Letâs break the blurb and get real with the description. This is a story about 4 friends who are trapped in an RPG and make an insane attempt at horror. It is an exciting story that will keep you engaged and thrilled if you enjoy: LitRPG, Crunchy stats, Crazy player stunts, and a Glitched game system. If those arenât your thing, this probably isnât for youâand thatâs okay. Regardless, I hope you enjoy the story. Itâs a quick read that skims the surface of the mind and fearâenough to create questions (but requires you to look for the answers). So, without further adoâ]
Read the thrilling adventure and uncover the depths of unrestrained fears [maybe?] with Toothless.
Toothless is a LitRPG Horror novel about four individuals who must navigate through a glitched game system that reads their minds and knows their fears. It is a gripping taleâ
[Hold up. Letâs break the blurb and get real with the description. This is a story about 4 friends who are trapped in an RPG and make an insane attempt at horror. It is an exciting story that will keep you engaged and thrilled if you enjoy: LitRPG, Crunchy stats, Crazy player stunts, and a Glitched game system. If those arenât your thing, this probably isnât for youâand thatâs okay. Regardless, I hope you enjoy the story. Itâs a quick read that skims the surface of the mind and fearâenough to create questions (but requires you to look for the answers). So, without further adoâ]
Read the thrilling adventure and uncover the depths of unrestrained fears [maybe?] with Toothless.
Scene 1
â ⣠4 of Clubs ⣠â
The City Park
Dusk was falling. Tall, dark city towers cut jaggedly into the evening horizon, contrasting vividly against the skyâs backdrop of brilliant sunset colors. The sunlight melted high across the sky with long orange and red streaks, followed by deep purple shadows blending into the darker sky that lined the opposing horizon. Night would be upon them soon.
The quaint park was located at its city's edge. During the daytime, many citizens enjoyed the green shrubbery, garden paths, and artistic sculptures. Patrons of the park often discovered a unique moment of serenity as the bustle and noise of city life were naturally muted by tall hedge walls surrounding the park. However, those same green-leaved walls kept many secrets withinâsecrets that were only whispered after sundown. The park closed at dusk, so few ventured past the walls after nightfallâeven fewer would be seen with the following sunrise.
Albrecht Eisenberger, the mortician, was an older man aged more by life than time. He had heard the parkâs sunset whispers beforeâbut tonight, he would not heed those soft voices. Instead, he followed the pull of his ancestors. Their guidance gently pulled and moved within his skin, helping him, the last Eisenberger, in this unique adventure.
The mortician looked to the sky with concern. The hairs of his neck bristled, warning that time was a waning essence that could not be reclaimed. Albrecht turned to look at his acquaintances, Bezaria and Franklin. They were not friends; Eisenbergerâs did not require such frivolous people as that. These were people who worked, and moreover, they worked with him. People who worked with the mortician were people he could trust.
City ordinance closed the park at sundownâit was most inconvenient for the mortician. Yet Albrecht Eisenberger refused to be bothered by such dogmatic annoyances. Curfews could not stop him, not when there was so much at stake. Albrecht quickly and quietly ushered his acquaintances into the park through a small, secret hole in the wall, easily avoiding any guards at the entrance gates who might turn them away. The Magi entered the park first and found herself in a small secluded clearing surrounded by tall, mournful trees.
âThis is amazing,â Bezaria the Magi marveled in a hushed tone as she crept into the clearing. She flexed her fingers, feeling the soft leather of her gloves, then pulled her bright red jacket snugâimpressed that the circus magician clothes fit so well. Gold buttons softly shook against the black accents of her jacket lapels. The magi admired how her outfit's red, gold, and black theme perfectly aligned with her thoughts.
âYou look like you belong in the circus,â Franklin huffed as he followed after the magi. Doctor Franklin Meadowlark, a medical examiner, was dressed in well-tailored slacks and a pressed designer shirt; it was buttoned up the front, except for the top button. He carefully rolled the shirtsleeves to his elbows as he stood in the clearing with a strong air of self-dignity.
âThatâs what I was going for,â Bezaria replied happily. A quizzical look came across her face as she abruptly reached and felt inside her jacket, searching for something.
âYou donât have to look like youâre in the circus,â retorted Franklin as he frowned at a leaf before brushing it off his shoulder. âConsidering our surroundings, something more subdued would have been more appropriate.â
The Magi had a look of surprise and excitement come across her face. As she withdrew her hand from her jacket, a flat black disc was in her grasp. Bezaria held out the black disc in both hands and smiled with uncontrollable glee.
âWhat is it?â Asked Franklin, unsure if he really wanted to know.
In answer to his question, Bezaria held the disc in one hand and flicked her wrist, causing the center of the disc to pop out. The Magi twirled her tophat onto her head and adjusted it to have a slight cant toward one eye.
âPerfect,â she said in pure satisfaction, keeping a gentle finger on the brim of her magic hat.
Franklin frowned. He raised a chiding finger and opened his mouth as if to speak.
âYes, yes, yes,â an old, heavily accented voice exclaimed from behind. âThis is all quite amazing, but we mustn't forget why we are here.â
Before approaching his co-workers, Albrecht secured their entrance through the hedge wall by tightly closing the hole. He was slightly hunched, unkept, and looked much older than his movements suggested. Gray hair burst from the sides of his head and face while a few wisps of hair lined his otherwise bald top. He peered ahead through thick bushy eyebrows, contemplating their next move.
âThis way,â the mortician said matter-of-factly and started walking.
âHow do you know?â Asked Franklin.
Albrecht smiled a toothless smile. âI just know these things. Now, remember to stay in characterâand stay close.â
Albrecht walked a short distance, then nodded to a faint path on the ground. Turning to the followers, he focused on each one for a moment. As he concentrated, names and levels materialized over their respective heads.
               Dr. Franklin Meadowlark, Level 2, Medical Examiner
Â
         Bezaria the Magi, Level 2, Circus Magician
âIf you focus on a person, you will see their name and level,â Albrecht said, pointing over their heads. âWe are about to start, so now is the time to make any last-minute adjustments.â
Bezaria stared back at Albrecht, mimicking the morticianâs face. She was surprised to see the old man was right.
               Albrecht Eisenberger, Level 2, Mortician
âNeat,â the Magi mused. The playerâs tag faded as she turned her focus away from the mortician.
âAlso,â Albrecht continued. âIf you close your eyes, youâll see the Options menu pop up. This will grant you access to your Hero Sheet and allow you to adjust how things pop up in your vision.â
âWhat do you mean, âpop up?ââ Asked Franklin. The accent and lack of teeth made it difficult to understand what Eisenberger said.
âLike how the names pop up over our heads,â answered Albrecht. âThe Log Out button is there as well, in case you feel like you canât handle this anymore. Just remember, it takes a minute or so for the log-out to occur.â
Bezaria closed her eyes. The button was almost imperceptible at the edge of her visionâuntil she focused on it. âButtonâ was the best descriptor she had, as seeing with her eyes closed was a bizarrely new experience for her. This button had the word âOptionsâ centered in it. With a bit of concentration, the button lit up and became large in the center of her vision. Willing the button to be pushed, the Options menu quickly opened to her. In the menu, she could scroll through a variety of details that could be tweaked, such as the systemâs font styles, colors, and sizes.
The Log Out button was in the top right corner, and the Hero Sheet button was in the top left. Concentrating on the Log Out brought a warning sign indicating she would be logging out and unable to interact with anything in the system during that time. At the bottom of the warning sign, a bar estimated the time until Log Out was complete, but it would not display the time until she confirmed her log out. âConfirm Log Out requestâ glowed red and white across her vision.
She quickly squeezed her eyes tight and rubbed them but did not open them. It was disorienting to have a display cover the darkness behind her eyelids. Bezaria canceled the Log Out and focused on the Hero Sheet button. Again, a little concentration pushed the button and displayed the entire sheet. She quickly scanned her stats.
Name: Bezaria the Magi
Moxie: 0 0 0
HD: 1
UP: 3
Hero Level: 2
Defining Traits:
Circus Magician
Knife Thrower
Animal Friendly
Debt owed (to Albrecht Eisenberger)
Attributes:
Charisma - Level 2
Deception - Level 2
Dexterity - Level 4
Skills:
Distraction (CHA): d2
Vanishing Act (DEC): d2
Knife Throwing (DEX): d4
Sub-skills:
Hat Trick (CHA/DEC): d2
Gear:
Magic Hat
Throwing knives
Deck of cards
Circus magician outfit
Abilities: None
Bezaria opened her eyes and blinked away the tears that suddenly built up. She wiped her eyes and steadied her footing as an entire world was now in view. Closing her eyes once more, Bezaria was relieved to see blackness. The shadowed Options button remained in the periphery of her vision. She opened her eyes once more and saw Albrecht smiling back.
âAmazing, right?â He asked, grinning unevenly wide.
âYeah,â Bezaria said, wiping her eyes. âIt might take a little getting used to. Just glad I donât have to see all that stuff every time I close my eyes.â
Franklin opened his eyes and looked around, his face echoing what Bezaria had just exclaimed.
âLevel 2, huh?â Franklin said, still trying to decide how he felt about this newfound information.
âLevels are based on Attributes. The system automatically adjusts the difficulty based on our level,â Albrecht quickly explained. âSo long as we donât run into a boss too soon, everything will be fine.â
âFamous last words,â muttered Franklin under his breath.
âRemember to stay in character,â Albrecht reminded them. âNow, let's begin.â
The mortician motioned the others forward onto the trail, then followed closely behind them. The path winded through various small bushes and trimmed greenery. All the while, Albrecht spoke of his funeral home, the Eisenberger family business, and his workings with the dead. His hushed, accented voice was difficult to understand, leaving the medical examiner and circus magician with only bits of the one-sided conversation. It wasnât much longer before the path opened to a large clearing in the park, and system messages began to scroll down the corner of each playersâ vision.
Â
               Minions: 2 â„
               No bosses are played during the first scene.
Observation roll:
Albrecht â Nimbleness: 3 â SUCCESS
Albrecht froze. There, several paces ahead, was the monument. This was the place where they needed to beâthe mortician could feel the ancestral pull under his pale, loose skin. However, his desire to move onward was stymied by a gripping fear before him. A whispering spirit, stalwart and unmoving, stood with bowed head, like a sentinel in front of the monument. The whispers of the city park had emerged sooner than the mortician expected.
Â
âI donât quite know what Iâm going to do now,â Albrecht quietly murmured to himself.
For a moment, it felt as though everything around the mortician was motionless, like him. He questioned whether it was his breathing he heard in that moment or another whisper. Albrecht caught hold of his remaining breath and listened. He crouched behind a well-trimmed bush and scanned the parkâs apparition of whispers, looking for anything that could indicate why it haunted this location.
Albrecht â Investigation skill: 2 â SUCCESS
Normal DT
The ghostly visage was definitely guarding the monument, of that Albrecht had no doubt. The supernatural sentinel was a collection of whispers formed by the park, meant to protect a secret inside (or nearby) the monument. Despite Albrechtâs confidence in this new knowledge, he was still wary of taking further action.
âHoly crap!â Franklin interrupted the morticianâs thoughts with quiet excitement. âThis is intenseâitâs practically reading our thoughts and developing this scene in real-time.â
âI know,â Albrecht whispered back with a smile. âNow, stay in character for it to keep working right.â
Franklin gave Albrecht a thumbs up and pat on the shoulder. The medical examiner rolled his head and shoulders, getting his mindset into character.
Observation roll:
Franklin â Research: 2 â SUCCESS
Franklin remained next to Albrecht for a moment longer. The mortician seemed focused on the distant monument, but Franklin could not see why the old, little man was so concentrated. The doctor looked to his side and saw the magician walk away from them; still, Albrecht did not move. Franklin shrugged away the morticianâs lack of interaction and moved on to explore the park in a direction of his own choosing.
It was a relief not to hear the flabby, accented voice whispering incessantly behind his ear. The quiet of the park was a peaceful reprieve from his busy life, and the doctor promised himself to come back sometime, alone and during the daylight hours.
When the observation roll was made, something had caught Franklinâs eye. It was not the monument that Albrecht stared at, nor whatever the magician was wondering toward; rather, it was a bush that stood out from the rest of the parkâs vegetationâthis is what guided his direction of travel. As Doctor Meadowlark approached the shrubbery, he quickly realized the movement he initially saw was a small colony of agitated bugs. The bugs appeared out of the ordinaryâas if they did not belong here. The doctor leaned in closer to get a better view. As he did, the bugs almost seemed to disappear and then reappear, like an object that did not buffer correctly or had a suddenly decreased frame rate.
The doctor blinked repeatedly, rubbed his eyes, and refocused on the yellow iridescent insects. The bugs quickly moved about their business without interruption, scurrying up to the leafy surface and then back down deep into the bush. These bugs crawled and chittered with agitation, but he could not see a cause for their distressed behavior.
âThereâs something more to these tiny creatures,â Franklin spoke quietly to himself and attempted to find out what that was.
Franklin â Rapid Recall: 3 â SUCCESS
Normal DT
Three peculiar attributes about these unique bugs suddenly came to Franklinâs mind. First, he recalled that these bugs are typically dormant this time of year. Second, these bugs were usually found in the ground, not foliage. Third, he remembered a superstition regarding this particular bug being linked to strange and mysterious occurrencesâbut this last attribute was only superstition, not science.
âAmazing,â Franklin said quietly while looking at the bugs. His stomach grumbled, softly interrupting his new arthropod fascination. Frowning slightly, the medical examiner quietly verbalized his next thought. âI wish I had included a snack in my gear.â
---
Observation roll:
Bezaria â Dexterity: 2 â SUCCESS
Bezaria did not see the path that Albrecht insisted they walk on, yet she moved forward at his direction. She was lost in thought over her current predicament and did not care to hear the old manâs rambling. Bez felt the sooner she could finish helping this creepy mortician, the sooner her debt would be paidâthereby allowing her to return to the circus she called home.
The Magi came out of her thoughts when she realized she was alone. Albrecht and the other gentleman were no longer crowding herâin fact, they were nowhere near her. She was no longer on the old manâs imagined trail but at the edge of an open area in the park.
Bezaria quickly scanned the dusky park to figure out where she was. A stone statue stood in the middle of this grassy field. She noticed one arm was bent at the elbow, and its empty palm was facing upward. The Magi could not tell if the statue was in a position for giving or receiving something. She also noticed her two traveling companions were several meters away from her, in the direction the statue was facingâbut her gaze quickly turned back toward the stone figure in sudden realization of what else she saw. Two ghosts were hovering with their backs to the statue.
The first ghost was in front of the statue, and the second was at the statueâs back. Both of the spirits looked identical. Their heads were down; long black hair fell in front and covered their faces. Bez focused on the apparition at the front of the statueâit hovered over the ground but remained motionless as if it was in a dormant state. Bezaria smirked as she thought the ghost looked deader than dead. She made a mental note that the developers might want to fix that detail before the program was released from the beta test.
Bezaria looked back to the second spirit and cursed her luck. A man in a cowboy hat, spurs, and park security uniform had quickly marched past the second ghost and was headed in her direction. Bez groaned when she realized the security guard was not an apparition, and he was not happy to see her in the closed city park.
---
Observation roll:
Curly â Perception: 1 â FAIL
âGreat,â Curly muttered derisively. âI failed my Observation roll; now everything looks normal. Well, I guess I betterâhowâd he put it? ⊠âget into character.ââ
Curly Patches, a security guard for the city park, took a moment to massage his thick, excellent mustache. This fine specimen of facial hair was a point of pride for the security guard, as it was not easy to maintain such a luscious mustache. Curly smiled with calming satisfaction as he curled the handlebar tips of his well-groomed, upper-lip-jewelry. He decided this would be the beginning of a good evening patrol through the park.
The security guard enjoyed his strolls in the city park. Aside from the occasional troublemaker, the luscious green oasis was peaceful, blocking much of the outer city life. It felt like he had his own little gardened forest that he was paid to walk through every evening. Oh, he was aware of the rumors circulating about strange and unnatural happenings in the parkâs evening shadows, but Curly never gave credence to such wild fantasies. Also, he was not required to walk the park after darkâhe only needed to patrol at sundown and sunrise. The rest of the shift was typically spent in the guard station at the parkâs entrance. So there was no reason for him to mind the strange tales whispered to bent ears.
The evening air was crisp and still, like fall was beginning to settle inâbut Curlyâs mustache bristled with unease. The mustache never lied; something was afoot in his park. Curly adjusted his ten-gallon hat and carefully massaged one half of his thick mustache with forefinger and thumb. His other hand rested on the butt of his six-shooter revolverâhe had two of them, loaded and holstered at either hip.
Slowly, deliberately, Curly walked past the park's bushes and along the trails, making sure his spurs jangled with each step. He was coming upon that odd monument-like statue that his mustache never agreed with. Although the monument was still unagreeable, tonight, the mustache was more restless than usual. Then, he saw what was wrong.
A young woman, dressed in bright red, white, gold, and black, stood just beyond the statue. She looked like she had come from a circus, top hat and all. The park was closed, which meant this young woman wasnât supposed to be here. Curly quickly strode over to her, his spurs jangling loudly with every step. Their eyes locked; Curly could see that she knew she wasnât supposed to be here.
âLittle lady,â Curly addressed the woman in a thick, practiced southern drawl. âThis park closes at six oâclock. Imma gonna have to ask you to leave.â
Curly took a final step and placed himself squarely in front of the woman. Chest puffed up, hands on hips, feet shoulder-width apartâthis was a power stance he often practiced during his shift downtime. Curly knew the respect demanded from a power stance would eliminate any further argument and make the young woman comply.
âWait!â the young lady exclaimed.
Curly was caught off guard by this young womanâs sudden command. His guard was further lost when the young woman fanned out a deck of cards.
Bezaria â Distraction: 4 â SUCCESS
Curly â Perception: 1
âPick a card,â Bezaria said, smiling gently as she offered the 52-card fan.
Curious, Curly drew a card.
A Jack of Spades. Curly scrutinized the card, pondering if there was some meaning to the Jack of Spades. The security guard looked up to ask what he was supposed to do with the card, but the young woman was gone. Curly stood alone, baffled, with the Jack of Spades still in hand.
---
Albrecht remained hidden behind his bush. The apparition of whispers in front of the statue remained motionlessâits head still down and face hidden behind a curtain of black hair. Unable to further deduce the reason for the whisperâs presence, the mortician looked over his shoulder to speak but quickly realized he was alone. His head promptly swiveled about, frantically attempting to ascertain where his co-workers could be. Across the way, he spied Franklin examining a solitary bushâin the direct line of sight from the whisper. Eisenberger needed to warn Franklin of the ghostly sentinel.
Albrecht â Intelligent Dodge: 5 â SUCCESS
Spirit â Level 2 (+Zero Skill): 2 (+1)
The mortician rapidly moved, hunched over and low, gauging the distance, wind, and noise-reducing grass. Albrecht was grateful to see the system message indicating the ghost did not have some type of detection skill, thereby forcing it to roll a Zero skill die. He quickly ducked behind the shrubbery that held Franklinâs attention. Nasty yellow bugs infested the bush, crawling, chittering, and humming throughout the leaves and branches. Albrecht quickly shivered away his revulsion, then tried to get the medical examinerâs attention.
âFranklin,â Albrecht whispered loudly. Franklin was standing on the open side of the bush, utterly exposed to the specter. âFranklin!â
The doctor looked up from his bush, acknowledging Albrechtâs annoying persistence with a raised eyebrow.
âDoctor Meadowlark, thereâs a spirit by the monument,â Albrecht said slowly in a semi-hushed voice. âIt doesnât look to be too aggressive, but it appears to be protecting the monument by itself. What have you found so far?â
âI found these.â Franklin smiled as he revealed a hand filled with the nasty yellow bugs.
Reflexes kicked in, and the mortician plunged his hand into his tool kitâsearching for the scalpel to defend himself against the wretched little beasts.
Doctor Meadowlark was in the process of pulling a test tube out of his forensic kit, then paused.
âHang on a second. I got to get in the zone,â Franklin said as he realized what Albrecht had said. He exhaled forcefully and rolled his head, getting back into character. âWhat did you say? Spirits? I got bugs here. Bugs arenât spirits.â
Shaking the bugs off his hand, Franklin kept one bug gently trapped between thumb and finger. He quickly retrieved the test tube from his forensic kit, then popped the bug into the test tube and promptly sealed it. Franklin looked back to finish addressing Albrecht in a regal-ish tone.
âAre you sure youâre seeing things okay? Youâre not losing your mind more than usual?â
Eisenberger quietly exploded in a flurry of hushed hysterical rantings; however, the hysteria coupled with the accent made any understanding of his speech practically impossible. It wasnât clear what he said, but Franklin could see the fear and warning in Albrechtâs eyesâFranklin knew something had spooked the mortician. Regardless of the old manâs mental state, the doctor thought it best to assess the cause of Albrecht Eisenbergerâs anxiety.
Franklin â Zero Attribute: 0 â FAIL
Normal DT
Reading the old manâs movements, the agitation seemed directed to something behind the doctor. Franklin made a casual glance over his shoulder but saw nothing of significance.
âI think youâre seeing stuff, man,â Franklin replied dismissively; he then resumed his examination of the captured arthropod.
Albrecht angrily grabbed a fistful of his gray hair while raising the other hand to the skyâbut he restrained screaming out his frustration. Instead, he brought his hand down and clenched his face to control his emotions. Between the fingers of the morticianâs clenched face, one quizzical eye popped open, considering the possibility that he could be seeing things; maybe he was starting to lose it. He closed it all shutâAlbrecht refused to let those thoughts come to mind.
---
Bezaria ran, escaping the guardâs notice, and slid behind a bush just moments after Albrecht had bolted away. Bez silently cursed her poor timingâAlbrecht seemed oblivious to the fact that she was right behind him. She watched the mortician move fast and low to a distant bush. Standing over that bush was the morticianâs doctor friend, who appeared very enamored with the foliage.
Scanning her vicinity, Bezaria saw the first spirit still hovering, motionless, in front of the statueâshe had lost sight of the second spirit. Noting that the first ghost was still not moving, the Magi ran after Albrecht, hiding next to him behind the shrubbery. She was crouched between the mortician and Franklin, hoping for safety in numbers.
âHey, we got a problem,â Bezaria said quietly as she looked to her companions. âThereâs a security guard here. He just tried to kick me out.â
âDo you know about the spirit?â Albrecht responded quickly and quietly, unconcerned with Bezariaâs problem. âCan you see the spirit, too?â
âYes, I can see the spirit,â Bez snapped, standing up and pointing toward the apparition. She was perturbed by Albrechtâs lack of concern for the corporeal problem at hand. âItâs right over there. I donât know what itâs doing there, but thatâs notâŠ.â
Bezariaâs voice trailed as she froze in placeâthe spirit shifted, then turned to face her. Words locked in her throat and muscles locked in her arm, leaving her motionless, still pointing at the ghost. The ghost tilted its head back, and the long black hair parted to reveal a pair of dark, eyeless sockets. It raised an extended arm and pointed back at Bezaria with a long, cold, bony finger. Its mouth opened wide and emitted a moan that was felt more than heardâlike a cold breeze without wind; a shrill howl in the mind.
âOh, no,â Bezaria said as she slowly regained control of her voice. âGuys, I think it sees me.â
More muscles slowly unlocked, and the Magi slowly stepped backward. âI think Iâm in trouble.â
Franklin stopped examining his test tube bug for a moment. He focused his attention on the magician, but her name did not appear over her head. He grumbled at the systemâs inability to produce the circus womanâs name.
âIâm sorry, who are you again?â Franklin asked, still trying to focus on the fearful circus magician.
âThe spirit! The spirit!â Albrecht interjected, grabbing Franklinâs shoulder and spinning him around. The mortician pointed excitedly in the same direction as the circus magician. âItâs here! Itâs over there!â
âWhat spirit?â Franklin asked exasperatedly.
Franklin looked hard where the other two pointed but only saw the statue. The statue was peculiar, almost unnatural, and as he stared, Franklin began to sense a coldness, like a draft when someone cracks open a door, but there was no wind. A silent wail swept across his mind as a chill traveled through him.
Franklin impulsively shuddered, then looked down at the noise being made below him. It was the shiny yellow bugsâtheir chittering and humming had intensified. Lifting the test tube to eye level, Franklin watched for a moment as his captive insect fluttered maddeningly about, ramming against the glass walls of its new prison.
The bugs, the statue, and his companions created a very ominous miasma that weighed on the doctorâs senses. Franklin took in a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and closed his eyes. With closed eyes, Franklin focused on the Options button. The Options menu opened, and he stared at the Log Out button but did not focus on pushing it. He wasnât going to leave the adventure early, but knowing this part of the system was still accessible was comforting.
The Options menu still had the default selections listed, so that was not why the magicianâs name did not appear over her head. Franklin accessed his Hero Sheet and quickly reviewed his stats.
Name: Franklin Meadowlark
Moxie: 0 0 0
HD: 1
UP: 0
 Hero Level: 2
Defining Traits:
Medical Examiner
Marathoner
Latchkey kid
Bearded
Pity for a friend
Attributes:
Researcher - Level 2
Forensics - Level 3
Stamina - Level 4
Skills:
Rapid Recall (RES): d2
Precision Cut (FOR): d2
Quick ID (FOR): d2
Outrun (STA): d2
Sub-skills:
Mind Palace (RES/FOR): d2
Gear:
Forensic kit
Straight Razor
Designer Traveling clothes
Abilities: None
Franklin opened his eyes, then closed them. He rubbed his eyes to clear up his vision before opening them again. The doctor walked behind Bezaria and Albrecht to see the statue from their vantage point and focused on the spot they pointed at.
Franklin â Zero Attribute: 1 â FAIL
Normal DT
âI still donât see anything,â said Franklin.
Albrecht lowered his head in frustration and groaned, holding his face again.
âI still donât see anything,â Franklin continued to speak while raising the test tube. âBut this bug is acting weird. It was already acting weird, but it just started to act really weird.â
Albrecht looked up sharply upon hearing Franklinâs remark. Quickly, he snatched up one of the nasty yellow bugs from the bush and ran toward the statue. Leaving Franklin and the magician to stare at each other in confusion.
âAh!â Franklin suddenly exclaimed. âYour name is Bee-zair-eeâah?â
The circus magician shook her head. âBEHz-ar, ee-ah. Bezaria the Magi.â
âOkay,â Franklin responded, nodding his head. âYour name didnât pop up earlier.â
âYeah, the system seems to be a little glitchy,â Bezaria said. âBut itâs still in beta, so I guess thatâs to be expected.â
---
Albrecht skidded to a halt in front of the monument. Despite his aged appearance, he was pleased that he could still move nimbly. The mortician carefully pinned the bug on the pedestal with one finger and looked up. The awakened whisper had not moved; it continued to point in Bezariaâs direction. He acted on a whim but hoped the bug was a key to interacting with the whisper. Albrecht waited for a reaction, keeping the agitated little bug against the monument with gentle pressure.
The whisper did not react. It remained fixated and motionless, hovering well above the mortician, with its extended arm still pointing at Bezaria. There was no acknowledgment of Albrechtâs approach or that a bug was placed on the monument's pedestal. The mortician looked at the insect, then up again at the whisper. Irritation boiled over the ghostâs lack of interaction; Albrecht slammed his fist down.
Albrecht â Nimbleness: 4 â SUCCESS
Easy DT
The bug crunched and splattered under the fist of Albrecht Eisenberger. He peered down at the mess under his fist, then glanced again at the ghost. Nothing; the whisper remained unperturbed.
Frustration returned as Albrecht wiped his fist clean on the stone, unsure of his next action. He began to seriously question the systemâs ability to move the storyline forward, especially since every attempt he had made thus far resulted in a lack of action.
Then, the morticianâs skin began to creep and crawl over his flesh. The whispering chill swept through Albrechtâs insides, and a wail followed that echoed in the back of his mind. Albrecht could feel it; another whispering ghost was nearby, and it was coming for him.
Wide-eyed with realization, Albrecht held up two fingers and called back, âBez, there are two spirits!â
âI know!â She yelled back and stomped in utter vexation.
---
Curly shifted his feet and peered through slitted eyes. He massaged his mustache with one hand and twisted his mouth as he changed his initial impression of the eveningâsomething was amiss in the park. The security guard looked around to see the strange statue's backside and various undisturbed hedges and bushes but saw no sign of the brightly dressed circus woman.
Curly sniffed the wind, his eyes still squinting and searching the surroundings. He randomly picked a southernly direction (away from the perturbing statue) to continue his investigation for the parkâs intruders.
A chilling wail pierced his mind, and his mustache quivered wildly in response. Reflexively, Curlyâs hand snapped to one of the revolvers on his hip while the other hand pinched the curl of his mustache. He spun around to ascertain where the chilling of his mustache came from.
âSomething ainât right here,â Curly muttered to himself.
There was a sound, like crunchy flesh connecting violently with rock, followed by voices. Curly glared at the statueâhe knew the sounds came from that direction.
Cautiously, Curly approached the statue, with one hand still at his hip and the other at his mustache. As the security guard rounded the monument statue, he saw a small, wiry, pale old man. The small manâs fist was firmly planted on the statueâs base. Curly was confident that the remnants of a freshly killed bug were being wiped from the manâs small fist onto the stone base.
âExcuse me, sir,â Curly said with an intentionally thick drawl. âI donât appreciate no bug squishing in my parkââ
The small man jumped up with hands raised high; his eyes were large and crazed as he cried out, âThereâs no time! No time! Beware the whispers! The spirits of whispers are here!â
âSir, sir, please,â Curly responded measuredly, releasing his mustache to hold his hand out as a gesture to stop the man from moving closer. âNow, Imma gonna have to ask you to leave the parkâŠ.â
The wild little man froze, and Curly realized that the manâs eyes did not hold madness; rather, they were full of fearâfear and terror directed toward something behind the security guard. Curly carefully looked over his shoulder to see what was behind him.
Curly â Perception: 1 â FAIL
Normal DT
Nothing was there. Pursed lips and angrily squinting eyes turned back to the old man. Curly squared up his power stance in front of the crazed little man and glared down. He did not appreciate being fooled once alreadyâhe was not about to be fooled twice in one evening.
âSir, that trick has already worked on me once tonight. It is not going to work a second time.â Curly pivoted his stance and pointed. âNow, Iâm gonna have to walk you to the exit.â
Whisper â Ethereal form: 4 â SUCCESS
Normal DT
What happened next was unlike anything Curly had experienced before in his life. An icy waterfall rushed through his soul, causing it to crash and swirl in a freezing torrent that his physical form could neither see nor feel. The frigid waterfall left as quickly as it came, leaving Curly wide-eyed and unsteady. He blinked several times as he waved his arms and tried to stop swaying, wholly confused over what happened.
Albrecht watched in horror as the second whisper drifted through the parkâs security guardâclearly jarring the guard and causing him to be off-balance. The ghost stopped between the guard and the mortician. It leaned down slightly, its eyeless sockets gazing upon Albrecht. Cold, death-tendrilled fingers attempted to reach out and grasp Albrecht. The mortician reacted without thought.
Albrecht ran.
---
In an instant, the whisper was suddenly upon her. Bezaria stood, gripped again with fear and shock at the ghost before her. Up close, the Magi could see the intricate details of aged death carved into the ghoulâs face. Two dark, cavernous eyes swirled with a bottomless blackness, and its stretched maw opened to a void, like a dark monster without form attempting to devour its prey. Long, gnarled fingers of ice and death stretched for the magicianâs face.
Whisper â Syphon: 4
Bezaria â Dexterity: 4 â SUCCESS
Bezaria's fear broke, allowing her to quickly duck and roll away, narrowly escaping the specterâs icy clutches. The Magi swiftly ran away from the ethereal danger.
Franklin saw Bezaria seemingly clutched with fear. It was further unsettling to watch the magician duck low and roll, then run away. Franklin felt an impulse to run with the magician, but he did not know what she was running from.
There was a faint sound of glass tapping; it was from the doctorâs hand.
Looking at the test tube in his hand, Franklin saw the yellow bug viciously ramming itself against its glass confinement. It was hitting the test tube hard enough to make noise. The ever-increasing agitation of the shrubbery bugs created a blanket of humming that dulled the auditory senses and threatened to smother the mind. Franklin looked to the bush and saw it move and shift sinuously as if it had taken on a new life with its overwhelming infestation of yellow iridescence.
Looking away, the doctor shook his head clear and quickly attempted to diagnose his situation. It seemed to him that if a bug were trying to escape something, it would take the shortest, fastest path of escape. Therefore, if the bug were to be let loose in the direction where the magician once stood, then it would divert its course to avoid the unseen danger. However, if nothing was there, the bug would fly in a straight line. The bug flying in a straight line would also likely mean that Albrecht and the magician were suffering from a mental breakâthe doctor could only hope.
A better option was not coming to mind, and time felt compressed. Doctor Meadowlark pointed the test tube in the direction where Bezaria once stood and released the bug.
The bug shot out of the test tube with incredible speed. To his consternation, it suddenly took a hard right as if to avoid an invisible obstacle. Franklin remained where he was and focused on the point where the bug diverted its course. As he concentrated, he realized that he hadnât used any skills (or attributes) and quickly added to his focus the first skill that came to mind.
Franklin â Quick ID (+1): 3 â SUCCESS
Normal DT
Nothing was thereâyet, there was something. It was in the corner of his vision. He looked again. Were his eyes playing tricks? It was just on the periphery⊠Then, it came into focus, and Franklin could see the Magiâs reason for running. A long and slender apparition floated, its arm was outstretched, and ethereal tendrils of death whispered about while small remnants of the ghostâs existence fluttered in an unfelt wind. Its black pit for a mouth was opened far beyond any natural capacities.
Doctor Meadowlark had never seen a ghost beforeâhe wasnât even sure if such imaginings existed before this moment. Whatever the case, it did not matterâthere was only one thought, one survival impulse that overpowered all others.
Franklin ran.
The marathoner flew across the grass with incredible speed, passing the magician in her escape. It sounded like she yelled at him, but Franklin was too consumed with self-preservation to check. The doctor ran for a distant bush, sliding low and hugging the ground behind it. Remaining prone, Franklin took several deep breaths, employing mental techniques to abate the panic originating from seeing death in its spirit form. After one long exhale, the doctor carefully peered over his bush to see if the ghost had followed.
Bezaria jumped into the bush, nearly colliding into Franklin. The ghost had followed closely behind her and continued to move steadily toward their leafy cover. The doctor shook his head, confident the magician would continue to lead the spirit straight to him. He got up and ran again, this time running farther than before. He ducked behind a squarish bush that hummed with more of the shiny yellow bugs he had found earlier.
Peering around the bush, several yards away, the medical examiner spied Albrecht, crouched with his back pressed hard against the statueâs stone base. Panic consumed the small manâs wild eyesânow, Franklin understood why. The doctor waved and caught the morticianâs attention.
âI see it now,â Franklin whispered loudly; only the top of his head could be seen from behind the bush.
Albrecht responded with various noises, accompanied by animated hand and arm movements that could be roughly interpreted as excitement and gratitude. Gratitude for another person seeing the ghosts; caution to stay away from the spirits; and excitement for finding something. At least thatâs the best guess Franklin had. The mortician was too far away, and his voice was too low for Franklin to understand precisely what was being communicated.
---
Curly had recovered from the strange, chilling sensation, but his mustache had practically exploded with discerning agitation. The cowboy security guard vigorously smashed down on his luscious mustache as he struggled to make it presentable again.
âIâd think with all thatâs going on, I would have a better chance at seeing something other than these hooligans,â Curly muttered. He gave his mustache a final push, then licked his fingers and quickly curled the handlebars. He silently cursed that he did not remember to keep some mustache wax on hand for emergencies such as this.
The security guard was left standing alone again. He stomped his feet, righted his white ten-gallon hat, and angrily pressed down his unruly mustache one more time.
âThese people!â Curly shouted as anger boiled over, causing him to lose the faux drawl. âThey come in my park, after hours, breaking my rules, squishing bugsâthatâs it! Iâve had enough!â
Curly alternated between fixing his hat and mustache as he stomped across the park, his spurs jangling loudly with every step. He marched in the direction that the small, pale man had escapedâbeing sure to keep an eye out for more individuals conducting petty criminal activities.
Curly â Perception: 2 â SUCCESS
Normal DT
Curlyâs eyes widened in disbelief, and his hand dropped from his hat. Surely, the good Lord could not have let this happen to his park. Yet sure enough, there it was, a ghost chasing one of the vagrants that troubled his grounds. The garb of the vagrant being chased was easy to identify.
âI recognize her,â Curly grumbled as he watched the magician jump behind a bush. âThat oneâs trouble.â
Curly pulled the Jack of Spades out of his pocket, then crumpled it in his fist. These people shouldnât be here; these ghosts shouldnât be here. None of this should be here disturbing his park. The spirit floated across the ground effortlessly, yet it moved with an unnatural stiffness. Curly was conflicted. Vagrants were bad, but ghostsâmaybe they were worse. He knew he needed to do somethingâŠ
---
âDang it!â
Bezaria cursed as Franklin sped past her to a distant bush. Bez gritted her teeth against the frustration of dealing with cowardly men.
A good magician always has an extra trick up her sleeve, and Bezaria was a good magician. Not sure how to combat a ghost, she took a chance and acted swiftly. The magi raced to the bush where Franklin hid and jumped in. As she jumped, she spun while reaching into her coat, then threw a knife at the apparition bearing down on her.
Bezaria â Throwing Knives: 3 â FAIL
Whisper â Ethereal form: 4
The knife flew harmlessly through the specter and did not deter its course. Bezaria rolled through the bush and quickly came to her feet. The specter's long, icy fingers extended to grab the magician, but she was not done moving; she ran, following Franklin and his escape to the next bush.
---
Albrecht stayed low and close to the base of the monument. He grumbled quietly to himself regarding the systemâs management of actions and movement. He felt strongly that moving along the monumentâs round foundation was simple, not complex. The system apparently had a low tolerance for any direction of travel that deviated even slightly from straight.
âAll Iâm doing is running in a circle,â Albrecht muttered. âIâm not changing directions or moving around anything. I mean, itâs practically a straight line.â
The movement mechanic was subtle; it seemed nothing in the system moved without the playersâ movement. The system calculated straight line movements differently than movements not involving a straight line, which, at times, Albrecht felt translated as an advantage for the non-player charactersâ movements.
The mortician looked up at the statue he had run around and shook his head. It was much like the system, cold and unmoving. Details were lacking, and the featureless stone face seemed apathetic to Albrechtâs plight. The stone figure stood tall in its foundation. He noticed the monumentâs large base encircled the statue and contained an old, broken water fountain. The water did not flow hereâonly a thick coat of slime and algae covered the bottom of the monumentâs fountain. The mortician could not help but wonder if this rock-hewn man was missing its teeth. Knowing the system would not acknowledge his grievance, Albrecht got back into character.
An arm burst out from behind a bush several meters away. Albrecht looked quizzically at the arm, then Franklinâs head popped out next to it. Albrecht waved back excitedly.
âI see it now,â Franklin whispered loudly, then ducked back down. Only the top of his head could be seen peeking over the bush.
Albrecht was elated. âWonderful!â
Albrecht Eisenberg was a man of science, but he was also a man of death. Enthusiastically, he used great arm and hand movements while quickly and quietly rattling random bits of knowledge regarding the whispers that haunted the park. The mortician also tried to warn Franklin that two whispers were haunting the park.
Albrecht halted mid-explanation as a shudder rippled through his skin. He turned around and looked up. The excitement of Franklinâs spiritual encounter was quickly shattered as the second whisper emerged through the statue. Its bone-chilling moan raked deep past the morticianâs skin. Those long, frigid fingers attempted to grasp him again. Albrecht quickly calculated the movement of the apparition.
Whisper â Syphon: 4
Albrecht â Intelligent Dodge: 5 â SUCCESS
The mortician ducked and rolled to the side at the very last moment, letting the spirit float past as it grasped thin air. Recognizing the constant movement of his companions, Albrecht knew he only had seconds to act before the apparition would turn back on him. The apathetic statue caught his eye againâhe looked closer at the monument.
Albrecht â Investigation: 2 â SUCCESS
Easy DT
A deafening hum filled Albrechtâs ears and mind. The monument became violently distorted for a split secondâthen, the statue was gone. Yet, in nearly the same instant, it was back. The humming emptied from Albrechtâs mind as background noises of the park once again filled his senses.
Wide-eyed, Albrecht stood with open-mouthed confusion. It all happened so fastâthe mortician was unsure of what he actually saw. The whisper was no longer grasping at air, and slowly turned to face the mortician. Without further analyzing the situation, Albrecht followed the pull of his skin and jumped into the monumentâs algae-filled base.
Muck and ooze covered the inside of the monument's base, and a rank odor emanated from the disturbed grotesque film under his feet. Poking partly out of the viscid water was a long rod. Albrecht heaved the heavy metal rod from its mucked confinement and realized it was a key for a manhole cover. Again, the skin pulled at his attention, but this time it showed the mortician a slime-coated manhole cover next to his feet.
Whisper â Syphon: 3
Albrecht â Intelligent Dodge: 3 â SUCCESS
The intensified moan of the spirit kept it from sneaking an attack on Albrecht. Deftly, the mortician moved aside again, jumping out of the base and swiftly escaping the ghost's grasp. However, the keyâs hook caught on the edge of the monument, jerking Albrecht nearly off his feet and back to its stone base.
âGuys!â Albrecht yelled and waved his arm awkwardly, still hanging partially on the monumentâs base. âOver here! Over here! I found the key!â
No one responded to Albrechtâs call. Instead, the mortician stood witness to an odd sight.
Franklin, the medical examiner, burst from the bush he was hiding behind as if running away from Bezaria the Magi. Bezaria desperately ran after Franklin, and close behind her was the second whisper in steady pursuit. All were focused on their individual actions, leaving only the ghost next to Albrecht that acknowledged his presence.
The mortician unhooked the key and ran out into the middle of the clearing. He waved and hollered for the attention of Franklin and Bezaria. The key was long, heavy, and unwieldy, making it difficult for the small mortician to run with. As Albrecht yelled and ran, the second whisper halted its pursuit for Bezaria and turned to him. Seeing that he now had both ghostsâ attention, Albrecht quickly surmised his time for action was further reduced.
âGuys!â Albrecht called breathlessly to his associates. âI have the key! I know where toâI know where to go. Follow me!â
Franklin and Bezaria acknowledged Albrechtâs efforts this time and ran for the mortician. Upon seeing he had their attention, the mortician promptly turned around and ran back to the monument.
Whisper â Syphon: 3
Albrecht â Intelligent Dodge: 6 â SUCCESS
The first whisperâs hand was grasping for Albrechtâs face when he turned around. However, the mortician used the keyâs weight to quickly duck and slide under the deathly attack. Albrecht bounced up and kept running, with Franklin and Bezaria gaining from behind, both giving the spirits a wide berth.
Albrecht scurried up the monument's base, dragging the key behind him. Franklin jumped in and helped the old man carry the key to the sewer cover. The mortician clumsily inserted the hook into the coverâs latch, rotated it, and pulled hard. The lid did not move. Bezaria was now in the base, by Albrechtâs side, helping to pull on the keyâFranklin was on Albrechtâs other side, pulling desperately on the key as well.
Bezaria â Dexterity: 2 â SUCCESS (+1)
Franklin â Stamina: 2 â SUCCESS (+1)
Albrecht â Nimbleness: 2 (+2) â SUCCESS
Normal DT
The solid, round sewer lid popped up at the side as the thick sludge covering it was broken loose. Its old metal grated heavily as they heaved and dragged the covering away from the opening. Muck sloughed into the open hole while Albrecht attempted to reclaim the key, but its hook was stuck in the manhole cover. With the ghosts already at the pedestal, there was no time to release the key from the lid.
Sludge and turbid water continued to lazily ooze and drop from the monumentâs base into the blackness of the sewer hole. The three companions looked at each otherânot wanting to stay but hesitant to jump into the unknown. Albrecht trusted the pull of his skin and jumped into the sewer hole first. Franklin shook his head and grumbled at the miserable conditions before dropping in next. Bezaria quickly followed while holding onto her hat. One by one, they each disappeared into the darkness of the sewer.
---
Curly stood several paces north of the disconcerting statue and watched as the pale old man yelled and waved while holding a long, heavy-looking rod. He also observed the circus lady and another troublemaker run around the park with a ghost in tow. His smoldering anger became mixed with perplexity as the three vagrants rushed in unison to the monumentâhe noted the two spirits followed in pursuit.
The security guard frowned as he watched them desecrate the monument by tearing off a part of the base. Then, one by one, they quickly jumped into a hole they had made.
âNobody gets away with this behavior in my park,â Curly snarled. Forgetting about the ghosts, he rushed over to the manhole and jumped in after the three vagrants.
---
Curly landed in the sewer with a loud splash and quickly drew his two revolvers. The moon's faint light shone down from the hole above in an angled column, causing the remaining darkness of the sewers to feel thick and confined. Still, he could faintly make out the three dark silhouettes slowly moving into the sewers.
âPut âem up,â Curly commanded the petty criminals. âNobody move.â
The silhouettes stopped moving.
âSomebody better start talking here soon,â Curly growled. He was too angry to speak with a drawl. âWhat are you all doing in my park?â
âIâm here because of him!â Bezaria cried out as she pointed to Albrecht.
âI thought you were a cowboy,â mused Albrecht as he noticed the lack of a southern accent.
âZip it!â Curly raised one of the pistols at Albrechtâs silhouette.
âDid you not see the bugs?â Franklin asked the security guard. âOr the spirits? Why did you follow us into the sewer if you didnât see anything?â
âI donât know what I saw,â Curly snapped back, attempting to reestablish his southern drawl. âBut I know I saw the three of you run down here, and even though this is below ground, this is still part of my park.â
âWhy would you think we would run into the sewer willingly?â Franklin asked, gesturing his contempt for the unsanitary conditions.
âGood point,â Bez chimed in nervously.
Curly twisted his mouth as his mind fumbled with an appropriate retort. âYou tell me,â he slowly replied.
âSee previous comment,â Franklin responded curtly. âDid you not see the spirits or the bugs?â
âLast I checked, Iâm the one asking questions here,â warned Curly as he raised his other pistol at Franklin.
The building tension amongst the group was sundered by a deathly moan. It was a sensation they all quickly recognized as they could hear it in the back of their minds and feel the ice quickly creep up their spines. Everyone was quiet for a moment.
âTime to go!â The Magi breathed, breaking the tense silence.
Franklin spared a glance at the hole they had entered, then leaned in toward Curly, allowing the moonlight to shine on his face.
âYou can stay here if you want, but Iâm out of here.â Franklin then turned around and ran deeper into the sewers.
Albrecht approached the cowboy security guard and rested a hand on the guardâs arm. The mortician was easily a head shorter than Curly, but that did not seem to phase the old man to any degree. The contrasting moonlight made the small old man look paler than before. âYou can fight them,â he said with his strange, thick accent. âBut I need to find my teeth.â
âIâm with them,â Bezaria said from behind the pale man, just outside the column of moonlight. âI mean, Iâm with Albrecht here. Iâm sorry, but I canât stay.â
Albrecht and Bezaria turned around and quickly followed Franklin. As Bezaria went further into the sewer, she called back, âFeel free to hunt the ghosts by yourself. Have fun with them!â
Curly saw the vagrantsâ silhouettes quickly blend in with the darkness as they escaped. The cowboy twirled his pistols and holstered them, then nodded with self-affirmation. Even though these vagrants did not leave through an authorized exit, Curly still made them leave the parkâand that meant a job well done.
His mustache began to bristle with agitation as the ethereal sensations and ghostly moans suddenly grew closer. Curly remained motionless, like a deer caught in a pair of unseen headlights. He slowly looked up at the manhole opening behind him. A long string of slime fell from the sewage entrance while two pairs of abysmal eyes stared down through the hole. One ghost extended its long, icy finger and wailed intensely at the security guard.
Curly looked away from the opening, took a few steps forward, and puffed up his chest.
âI better make sure those vagrants stay out of my park,â Curly muttered to himself, refusing to recognize the haunting above.
Without looking back, the cowboy security guard straightened his belt and hat, pressed down his mustache, then purposely moved deeper into the sewers, following after the three troublemakers that had disturbed his night in the park.
Let me start by saying that I'm a giant nerd. And not just any nerd, but a roleplaying game nerd. Tabletop, MMO, whatever, get me with a band of my mischevious friends and off adventuring we will go. Oh, and I'm a huge fan of anime. And while isekai is my favorite by far, a close second is the glitched game genre (my favorite anime is Log Horizon, for context).
Toothless tickles both of these facets of my nerddom. Was I surprised? Yes, because the ability to translate a gaming session into prose isn't often well done. But Theodore Thomas has done a good thing here.
From start to finish, the main characters-- Albrecht Eisenberger, Bezaria the Magi, Franklin Meadowlark, and Curly Patches --are worth the investment. They sound and act like I'd expect a group of four friends trapped in an RPG game that won't let them out to act/react. They are realistic, authentic, down to the clear annoyance of Doctor Meadowlark at the actions of his fellow players in the beginning (totally me sometimes).
The characters play off each other well, even when they're bickering, and it's rather evident that the author is well-versed in these interactions. His experience translates well into the believability of these people.
While I like the stat screens, system messages and rolls, they jarred me out of the stroy, especially the stats screens, as I kept reading through them for changes. Maybe that's just because I am the target audience for this genre, but those things were jarring enough that I felt I should mention it.
The fights are well-written, and for the most part, if I closed my eyes, I could see them play out in my head. And the introduction of the BBEG was great. Palpable fear played out in all the characters through those encounters.
I won't spoil the rest for you, but I really enjoyed the story overall.
So, if I enjoyed it, why did I only give it three stars? I think this story has some great potential, but the prose needs to be cleaned and tightened up. A good editor could help cut out the clunky dialogue tags and passive verb use to create better flow for this narrative. Honestly, if these issues were addressed, I don't think I would've been kicked out of the continuity so easily by the system messages. Granted, that may just be the editor in me seeing the potential in this author's storytelling.
Would I recommend this story? As long as you fall into the intended audience, absolutely. It's fun and complex with relatable characters and a solid story line. I would read more work from this author.