PROLOGUE
The bitter cold water sliced through my petite frame, less than a hundred pounds. My white, oversized jumpsuit weighed me down, pulling me deeper and deeper into the ocean’s depths.
How did I get here? When my name was called, two members of the elite guard marched forward, grabbed my arms, and tossed me overboard. As I whirled through the air, my thoughts blurred. Will these be my final moments?
As I fought the water’s tug, two sets of arms reached down, pulling me up as I gasped for air. My classmates and I treaded water until granted permission to board.
My husband and I served in L. Ron Hubbard’s Scientology Church organization for ten years. Trained by LRH himself, we became two of the highest trained Class VIII auditors in the world.
Born into the Jewish faith, my life has been a series of “overboards” and struggle for survival. I endured a childhood of threats and intimidation, parents who fought constantly and ignored me during all stages of my growing up years.
I guess it was from a very young age when I made an unconscious decision to survive adversity. Although my neglect wasn’t often physical, it was intellectually, emotionally and mentally destabilizing. I had no resources other than myself. I had no help from an older sister as we fought constantly. I was the “mother” for my younger sister, whom I cared for during most of her growing up years.
Emotionally strong, but with no book smarts, I was truly ignorant of any intellectual reality. I hadn’t read books, newspapers, or magazines.
I survived an emotionally devastating first marriage and divorce, an illegal abortion, being a Change Girl and Shill at a Las Vegas Casino, ten years as a Scientologist, founding a children’s theater and statewide playwriting competition, ten years as a bookstore owner, running for political office as a Libertarian, a divorce after twenty-four years of marriage, a few illicit affairs and other romantic interludes, being a kidney donor, and my life-altering three-month solo backpacking trip through England, Europe, Scandinavia, and Ireland.
In the following pages, I’ve been completely forthcoming and haven’t held anything back including my sexual escapades, scary experiences, and sometimes funny and embarrassing stories. By sharing them, I hope I can help someone else overcome their life’s “overboards.”
One of my most embarrassing is featured in the “My Tea Was Really Pea” story while working as a Las Vegas Shill.
One of my most earth-shattering revelations was when I changed my perspective about a hurtful experience that battered my psyche, to total freedom from the continuous hurt and anger I had been feeling. I had this revelation after seeing a psychologist for the first time, and on my fifth and last visit, he said a simple sentence that changed my life — “Why are you letting him affect you like that?”
I stopped, stunned. What was he saying? Have I been letting my husband control me? This was a reality that had been far out of my capacity to realize … until now! My mind raced as new images and realizations flooded into my consciousness, as if I was awake for the first time since I met Allan. No, I didn’t have to be a victim and feel sorry for myself; I could sail over this ship and not drown in self-pity. I stood up with a ridiculously large grin on my face, thanked the doctor, and left his office. I didn’t need him anymore. I felt so free!
In spite of being thrown overboard so many times in my life, I managed to take all that life threw at me with an indomitable spirit and a strong will to survive despite severe emotional neglect and the many stupid things I’ve done. Somehow, I’ve managed to grow and mature into a healthy eighty-three-year-old with a great positive attitude and looking forward to the next eighty!
Hopefully, those of you who read my stories will discover their inner strength and spirit to secure a better future for themselves.
Debbie Norwitz
