We are born into this life fully equipped with everything we need to excel and thrive. As human beings, we are perfectly designed and created to do much more than merely survive.
Any notion that we may have of settling for what we have and not doing more, is contrary to the human drive to create and build and explore. From the dawn of creation until today, this is how it’s been; however, you may find that when you look at your own life or those around you, you witness a far different reality.
Our biological make-up determines our every thought, feeling and behaviour. And we are engineered to overcome challenges and dangers. From historic times, when predators and warriors were more abundant, our flight, fight or freeze responses have been hard-wired into our neurology. We have a natural ability to sense danger and the ingenuity to navigate our own way out of problems. Yet in today’s world, when faced with danger or difficulty, many of us have weakened or even severed the link between ourselves and our innate gifts. Instead we have formed a dependency upon others to help us escape an unwanted reality rather than looking inside and reconnecting with the qualities that lie dormant within us, so as to better our life or circumstances.
We have surrendered our individual power under the false pretence that it serves a greater good. We have been sold a myth that placing our sovereignty in the hands of a few will offer us a better quality of life. I know this couldn’t be further from the truth. For instance, we place blind trust into the hands of others, accepting their narrative as truth without carrying out our own due diligence.
How many stories have you heard from people that as children were told by their teachers or coaches that they would never amount to anything and then go on to achieve huge success?
How many reports do we hear of cases involving individuals diagnosed with incurable illness only to then seek alternative health practices elsewhere and be cured of their ailments?
Power serves those who hold it. By relinquishing your power, you surrender your soul and the eternal energy source that drives you towards the life you deserve. We are creators, and the ability to self-govern our own lives is what sets us on the path to creating a true Success Rebellion. You must accept your responsibility as a steward of your OWN life, embracing the fact that you ultimately decide what you do and do not experience.
Beyond the circumstances of your birth, your current reality is a result of the choices and actions you’ve taken. And for you to move towards creating a new reality, you must first wake up to the fact that the onus is upon you to create that new reality. You have to take charge and start to create new patterns of behaviour that will bring about new results, and so start the wheel of internal change that is necessary for you to step into your true power.
Loss of Governance
There are many reasons why we lose connection with our true power, but ultimately the root cause points back to a loss of self-governance and the inability to take responsibility for our own lives. As simple as this may sound, millions, if not billions of people around the world lack the ability to truly govern their lives without looking for the direction or guidance of another. I see people struggling to make a decision on the smallest of levels. In the supermarket I’ve witnessed friends ponder for over five minutes on what cut of chicken they should place in their shopping basket. As trivial as it may seem, it represents so much more of what is going on within their inner dialogue and is symptomatic of our society today. Being unable to identify what they want demonstrates a disconnection between them and their natural instincts. If you are unable to act upon what you want on such a micro-level without doubting your decision, how will you cope when making real decisions that will have a greater impact on your life? It’s likely that you won’t! And so the problem begins . . .
The Impact of Losing Sovereignty
A lack of self-governance will only lead you to a loss of sovereignty and a feeling of no control. You risk falling into a state of helplessness, becoming a victim of circumstance unable to see beyond the cards you’ve been dealt. Without true dominion and recall of your divine power you become exposed to the negative elements of life. Cracks, shortly followed by unhappiness, start to appear and begin to manifest themselves across all areas of our lives – our work, relationships, finances, education and our health. Here’s how:
Because of a loss of sovereignty, you may feel as though you are not heard and that your voice is irrelevant. You’ve probably experienced times when you’ve felt that your contribution was undervalued and your opinion was insignificant. You feel that there is no appreciation of the role you play in the organisation. You give all you can and work beyond what is expected, but you get nothing in return. Despite your frustrations, this loss of sovereignty comes to a point when you accept this reality. You settle for less than what you deserve. You accept it for what it is. It is you who determines your worth, and by staying in a role where you are undervalued, you become the cause of your sadness.
Many people feel incomplete without ‘their other half ’, being totally displaced when their relationship breaks up. They are lost and struggle to survive alone. They have placed so much reliance emotionally, psychologically and financially upon their ex-partner, that without them in their lives, they feel empty. The cause is not the breakup but because when they got into the relationship they gave up their sovereignty and control over their own lives, becoming reliant upon and making someone else responsible for their happiness.
Happiness starts with us. Our partner should complement our happiness. That to me is self-governance – being able to regulate your own happiness and not depend upon another to bring you that happiness. We are responsible for our own emotions, and yet we look outside ourselves for other people to feed us this. And when we do, we give away our sovereignty. We place it in the hands of another and make them responsible for it. We place expectations upon them that are not realistic. It’s unfair – to them and to us.
Maybe you find yourself in this situation, drifting from one relationship to another expecting the next person to bring you that completeness. Maybe you are in a controlling relationship whereby you’ve let go of who you were before you entered that relationship. Your hobbies, goals and ambitions, those elements that define you as an individual, are cast aside, and the goals you previously desired are no longer significant. Before you realise it, you have lost so much of who you are for the sake of your relationship, to please the other individual, and in doing so, feed their insecurities as well. What proves a viable sacrifice is no longer significant.
We are continuously growing and evolving. When you get into a relationship, what you did prior to that may not necessarily work any longer, depending on whether it was a positive or negative behaviour. But if you had dreams or hobbies and you cannot bring them into your relationship, then you have to question is this the right person for you? But so many people lose themselves in their relationship, lose who they are, lose their voice, their ability to have fun, to have happiness and all for the sake of another and their demands, wants and desires.
Tony Gaskins said, “If you don’t have a vision, then someone will hire you to build theirs’. We all have a vision of how we want our relationships to be or a vision for our future. So many people sacrifice their dreams because of relationships. Don’t let that be you.
Our dependency on money is one of the biggest causes of lack of sovereignty. We often sacrifice the dreams we had as children, of changing the world and becoming the next superhero. Many dreams we held on to as we grew up would still be possible if we had not been told to get real, get a job, pay the bills – as if that were enough. But the ‘real world’ has been designed, not for the average person to succeed and flourish, but the opposite, to keep them in a perpetual state of debt, fear and spending to feel good. They relinquish the driving force that has the ability to see them escape and reclaim their sovereignty and maintain it.
Self-governance is about taking responsibility to educate yourself. We use money day in, day out. It has shaped the world as we know it, yet many of us do not know how to use it. There are thousands of books available that will educate you on the best way to invest, the best way to save, how to make more out of your money, and all of the different strategies to take you potentially to financial independence, if that’s what you’re looking for. Yet hardly any of us take responsibility for this and educate ourselves.
Lack of self-governance can also present itself in the family setting amongst your siblings or your parents. You may have lost your voice because you felt overpowered by those around you. Because it happened at such a young age, you’ve accepted it. Now you’ve adopted the backseat approach to life, letting others dictate how you should be and what you should do. We see it within parent and child relationships with the child always seeking approval from their parents. This overshadows their life and independence as they are bound to an emotional prison, in a never-ending cycle of seeking acceptance that they’ll never receive. They live for the approval of their parents and allow them to dictate their future, the university they go to or the career they have. They allow their parents to determine their life without ever challenging them.
When ill health hits you it can leave you feeling out of control, a victim without the power to shift that ailment. Helplessness creeps in. It’s not the ailment itself but how it makes you feel helpless and out of control. A person who suffers from ill health may assume the patient role and lose their ability to make their own decisions. They are diagnosed by medical professionals and become reliant on doctors for medication. But doctors don’t know everything. And much of what we hear isn’t the truth because of the power of pharmaceutical companies, in whose interests it is that patients are prescribed drugs for their conditions rather than being educated on how to live a healthy lifestyle in the first place.
The Buck Stops with You
You must know that whatever you have in life starts and stops with you. Nature has equipped you with the mechanics to elevate you from the lower-level basement all the way to the private penthouse suite with rooftop views that most people only dream of. But dreams without action are for those who are sleeping. I am here to awaken you to your true power. No longer will you perceive any goal as being unattainable. When you self-govern, you take charge of any situation and redirect your life towards your chosen destination. You realise that the only thing that separates your current reality from your desired future is you.
YOU are in control of your destiny. You are the result of everything you’ve believed, thought and done. Where you are now is the result of everything you’ve done up to this point. You can no longer point the finger of blame at others: you are your own keeper. Until you accept this fact, you will not move forward to accept the life that awaits you. If we accept accountability for our own feelings, thoughts and actions, we can begin to self-govern.
I understand that there are many people experiencing unimaginable traumas, and my heart goes out to you. But I would say this: negative experiences need not define you or prevent you from reaching your potential. It is our true nature to be accountable for our own reality, good or bad.
What we get comes as a result of our expectations in life. We may have developed a belief that other people are responsible for making us happy and bringing us fulfilment, whether financially or in relationships – but we can’t depend on others. We have to look within us. This responsibility lies with you – and you alone! Self-governance means that the buck stops with us. The answer to every question comes from within.
This realisation doesn’t come easily – or we would all be living a life of happiness and there would be no need for me to write this book. And I too have been guilty of living in the slipstream of others, following other people’s dreams and watching them prosper, without giving a thought to what it was that I wanted to achieve from life. Not valuing my own ability and presence in this world, I have waited for people to break me off a piece of the pie they held. But we have to make our own lives the priority.
Take Back Sovereignty
Take responsibility for your life and be proactive. Don’t depend on anyone. You alone are responsible for making the changes needed to improve your life – not your boss, your family or your friends – just you! It may seem like an impossible task, but anyone who has turned their lives around for the better decided they were the only ones who could make that change.
Time and time again, people look for someone else to save them or hand them opportunities. They develop a dependency outside themselves, hoping another person will change their circumstances and give them happiness – which never comes.
To change your world, you have to become the change. You have to be the difference. Self-governance is not easy to achieve, which is why so few people apply it within their lives. But there are those who do – whether by reaching their boiling point or by deciding it was simply time for them to step into their own. They know it’s their call, if they want things to change and they want something more from life.
Life has been devalued as a result of how we have been made to feel about ourselves. You cannot let your desire for self-governance override your true value. Freedom and life cannot be quantified or traded. Although not everyone is in a position to see life’s real bounty, once you discover it, you immediately understand that nothing is worth sacrificing it for. If you knew your true majesty, you would not forfeit it.
Sometimes it is beneficial for us to release control to someone with more experience and knowledge who can help us. But there is a huge difference between receiving help and handing over our power. When we blindly accept all we are given by a ‘higher authority’ without questioning its truth, intent or origins, there’s a problem!
Self-governance means taking control over all areas of your life – not being railroaded into making decisions that do not serve your higher self. We are repeatedly reminded what we can or cannot do – sometimes for our greater good, but the rest of the time this prevents us from reaching our true potential. Learn to remove the bullshit, to uncover a truth that will set you free to create happiness, joy and abundance.
Life is the greatest gift we’ll ever be blessed to receive, but all too often our viewpoint prevents us from fully appreciating this. We must take charge of the life we have been gifted.
Shift Your Perspective
We get so bogged down by the meaningless detail of our daily existence; we may never see the bigger picture. In order to self-govern, you must shift your perspective and develop a wider outlook on life. Your relationship with yourself must also change. Often, a lack of progress is down to the poor relationship people have with themselves: lying to justify their lack of discipline or action, or exposing themselves to negative relationships or environments. Many people bury their heads in the sand and pretend that everything is okay, rather than facing reality. Self-governance is about looking within, discovering who you are, and understanding your motivations and which internal barriers prevent you from achieving what you want. Many people fear the opinions of others, allowing this to lead them away from their path. Self-governance is a form of self-love: accepting who you are, where you’re at, and identifying who you need to be to move forward and grow.
BREAK THE CYCLE
This is all self-governance is: self-awareness – knowing who you are in this world, at any given time. Upon achieving self-awareness, you can determine if you want to remain in your present circumstances, and if not, you know that the power is within you to change them. Self-governance is the acceptance of responsibility for your life and everything within it. It is freedom, ownership and faith in all that is, and all that you can become.
If you know that there is an area in your life that you need to improve, don’t shy away from taking action – even if it’s just by finding out how you think and how to motivate yourself. Have the will and tenacity to decipher your internal mechanics and fine-tune your engine. This is one of the key attributes of those who successfully self-govern. Whatever your situation, if you want to take control of your life, you must start by working on yourself and forming an honest relationship with you.
HONESTY IS THE KEY
Whatever your predicament or reasoning, if you want to take control of your life, you must form an honest relationship with yourself. Start by scoring where you are now and where you want to be on a scale of 0 – 10, with 10 being exactly where you want to be in life. How far away from 10 are you now? Don’t worry about your score too much. The Success Rebellion will help you to understand the ground you must cover to move closer to achieving a 10. There is no shame if you are worlds away from what you desire. You are already a step ahead just by examining it, as many people stay blinkered to it all their lives. You have to break the cycle and reflect upon where you are now, and doing so will gradually unearth what must be done to move you towards your goals.
The failings of the past no longer serve you, and where focus goes, energy flows. It’s important for you to focus on who you want to be rather than the mistakes of your past. A new world awaits you with endless possibilities. Let go of any baggage that doesn’t serve you, because the less you carry, the further you are likely to go.
DEDICATE SOME ‘YOU TIME ’
Who we truly are can often become lost within the noise of our busy lives. It’s important you dedicate both space and time to re-establish your own personal connection with you. Remove any distractions, phones, TV, people and learn to spend time on your own. It is surprising how many people struggle with this, but when you are alone you will begin to notice your true feelings without being influenced. ‘You Time’ also allows you to rebuild the connection with your inner voice, which is the ultimate guidance system for success and happiness.
BECOME THE CHANGE
To move to a state of self-governance you need to make small incremental changes in your life on a weekly basis that over a period of time will create a huge shift. If you’ve been unwell, start to become more conscious of what you eat. If you rely on other people for your own happiness, take stock of where you’re at and think about what changes you need to make improvements. Then make those small changes. That will create the momentum, like a snowball effect.
The chains that hold you will break, but this has to happen in order to free yourself and reach your goals. There may be risks in making change in your life. Things may break down at work or in your relationships. It will create friction with the people around you. They’ll be fearful because you are changing and moving away from them; that’s a natural part of growing and changing. Remember first and foremost that you have a responsibility to you, and you alone. In the same way as others are not responsible for your happiness, you are not responsible for theirs either. People will question what you’re doing, even ridicule it, but it’s necessary. So, be prepared for a rocky road, but I assure you, it’s worth it.
This journey never ends. It’s a voyage of continuous improvement, evolution, development and growth. You never really complete it. But the beauty of it is that the value isn’t in the final destination. It’s in the journey.
Somewhere along the line, with the pressures and realities of everyday life, we have lost our ability to govern ourselves, make our own decisions and live our own lives. Work, relationships, money, family and health all pull us away from fulfilling our own desires and prevent us from achieving the life we want. But we cannot just sit by and let this happen – we need to take back control.
Take responsibility for your own life, take back your sovereignty and take action. Reconnect with yourself, and what you want out of life. Shift your thinking, and become the change you want.
Before you move on to the next chapter take a couple of minutes to think about these questions:
~ Where have you lost sovereignty in your life?
~ What will you start to change as a result of reading this chapter?