âI shouldâve stayed, I shouldâve stayedâŚâ echoes in Janinaâs mind. Surrounded by the pulsating energy of a festival crowd, she stands frozen, receiving the news that changes her life forever.
Just a few months earlier, Janina found herself amidst the chaos of Ramanâs room, snorting an unknown drug from his desk. She couldnât believe that after nearly a decade of being a fan of his band, she was now in the circle everyone yearned to be part of. Yet for Janina, it wasn't Ramanâs popularity that drew her in. It was the deep, unsettling darkness in his soul, a sense of danger that both terrified and enticed her.
This is a story about searching for a way out of the dullness of human existence and chasing the thrilling rollercoasters on its flip side.
This story is not about Janina, itâs about Raman.
âI shouldâve stayed, I shouldâve stayedâŚâ echoes in Janinaâs mind. Surrounded by the pulsating energy of a festival crowd, she stands frozen, receiving the news that changes her life forever.
Just a few months earlier, Janina found herself amidst the chaos of Ramanâs room, snorting an unknown drug from his desk. She couldnât believe that after nearly a decade of being a fan of his band, she was now in the circle everyone yearned to be part of. Yet for Janina, it wasn't Ramanâs popularity that drew her in. It was the deep, unsettling darkness in his soul, a sense of danger that both terrified and enticed her.
This is a story about searching for a way out of the dullness of human existence and chasing the thrilling rollercoasters on its flip side.
This story is not about Janina, itâs about Raman.
Viera trembled as she struggled to catch her breath, trying to recount to me her short but exhilarating interaction with Knox, her newfound favorite artist whose existence had been unknown to us until that very day.
We stood amidst the sea of people at the festival, basking in the euphoria of the performance and still reeling from the few precious words we had managed to exchange with the tall, handsome, and unexpectedly shy musician from Estonia. Even now, Viera remained in a state of disbelief, excitement radiating from her shifty eyes and wide grin. Her childlike wonder, coupled with her dusty-rose dress that accentuated her big blue eyes, made her look like a little girl.
Viera raised her eyes at me and extended her arm, lifting her phone toward my face. I leaned over closer to the phone and squinted. As I looked at the photo on her phone, I couldnât help but admit that she and Knox looked cute together.
âI promise, your husband will never know how excited you were after taking a photo with this random man,â I teased with a grin.
âHe is not a ran... Oh, stop, Janina!â Her cheeks flushed, and then she broke into a cheerful laugh.
It had been an incredible day, and my heart pounded with happiness. I hadnât felt this way in a long time. With everything going on with Raman, his addiction and a few overdoses, the past few months had felt like a never-ending descent into darkness, with no glimmer of hope. But now, with Raman sober and me being back in Miensk with my best friend by my side, things were finally falling into place. I felt lucky and happy, marveling at how the universe always seemed to put everything in place.
As we pushed through the crowd, I screamed in Vieraâs ear how happy I was, but she couldnât hear me. We laughed and hurried out of the stifling atmosphere of the dance floor, eager to talk.
Stepping away from the crowd, I took a deep breath, relishing the crispness of the fresh air. Together, we headed toward the coffee tent, my heart still racing from the thrill of the day.
Just then, my phone buzzed with a text message from Natasha.
>
Call me when you have someone with you
Boom. Boom. Boom.
In the sudden silence around me, I could only hear the steady thud of my own heart. Dread clawed at my insides. It had to be about Raman. No, no, no. Please, no.
I looked at Viera, who had stopped laughing and was staring at me with a perplexed expression. My blood ran cold as I called Natasha back.
âHello.â Natashaâs voice sounded raspy, as if she hadnât spoken in a while. For a second, I stopped breathing, waiting for her to speak. âJanina, are you with someone right now?â
âYes!â I shouted. âNatasha, what happened?â I asked, bracing myself for the worst.
âRaman is dead.â
Raman is dead. Although Janina Miazhevich did not kill him with any particular action, could inaction on her part have been the drug that ended his life? Or is she overestimating her importance in and impact on his life? Janina met Raman Krasouski when she was just a teenager following her father to concerts. Little did she know that life would create many spaces for her to keep meeting with her crush and develop something between them. But life does not only deal preferred cards, and now Raman is dead. In The Snow Melted in August by Aldona Martynenka, Janina looks back on what she gained from having Raman while trying to move forward from losing him.
Janina is pathetic. Writing such a character as the protagonist takes courage and I commend Martynenka for taking that brave step. It brought a distinguishing texture to the narration of the story. It is quite interesting to read a story written from the point of view of someone whose decisions you will question, maybe even judge. It is weird to experience incidents in a way you would rather not but have to because the narrator is making you live out these experiences in an unnerving way. It was quite an experience! Martynenka did a great job of taking a simple premise and layering it so intentionally that it is a rich and multidimensional story that is worth reading.
This is an exceptionally edited piece of work that tells a complicated story of miscommunicated love (if you so wish to call it). This book has great characters that are sufficiently developed for their purpose, a mostly necessary plot, and dialogue that might be considered weak but I found characteristic of those engaged in it. Although it has so many positive aspects, some aspects might not work for some audiences. Those who cannot enjoy a pendulous timeline might not enjoy the chapter-to-chapter shift from the present to the past and back. There is also an overdose of profanity that might not suit some readers. For those for whom drug use is a sensitive topic, this book heavily features drug misuse. Any potential readers for whom these hiccups are not obstacles might enjoy being irked by Janina.