Welcome Aboard!
DATE:8 JANUARY 1998
EMBARKATION DAY
PORT OF CALL: SOUTHAMPTON
ALL ABOARD TIME: 3.45PM
There I was, freezing in the icy January winds that swept up the harbour, staring up at what was to be my new home for the next six months. I wasn't looking up at a fancy apartment, a cute little condo, or even a nice new house. I was looking up at a fifty thousand tonne, two-thousand-passenger cruise ship, the kind that takes senior citizens and posh people on holiday to all sorts of exotic locations around the world.
I felt rather insignificant gazing up at this gigantic boat. It was SO much bigger than I'd imagined. This was where I would be living, eating, and sleeping from now on. I'd spend all of my days and nights on this huge piece of tin floating around the world's oceans. How crazy was that? My stomach hit the floor from the enormity of it all, but it was too late now. There was no turning back. My work contract was set in stone and I was about to embark on the biggest adventure of my life.
I had always wanted to travel, but here I was, twenty three, and hadn't been anywhere more exciting than Bournemouth on a wet weekend. There was the time when I applied to be an air hostess, but a panic attack, brought by the sudden realisation that I was terrified of flying, somewhat overshadowed my interview. And there was the time when I was all set to go backpacking, but chickened out last minute when I couldn't fit all my cosmetics in the rucksack. Seriously, how do girls sacrifice all those essentials? Hats off to them, I couldn't do it.
My grandmother had warned me I couldn't possibly do a backpacking trip, as there wasn't a rucksack on earth big enough to fit all my clothes in. And she was right. In fact, it was my nana who came up with the secretary job on a cruise ship idea. The next best option, she said. "You can travel the world with unlimited baggage allowance." GENIUS!
After a lot of paperwork, classroom study, passing medicals and applying for visas, I had to learn how to do all sorts of near impossible stuff: jumping off high-dive boards in steel toe cap boots (which combined two of my biggest fears – heights and deep water) and single-handedly inflating life rafts and rescuing "dead" bodies out of the water. Hardest of all perhaps were the months of waiting.
But then, at last, little Bianca Drake was about to embark upon the great ship Lady Anne to sail the Seven Seas for, wait for it.........
New York, Columbia, Mexico, San Francisco, Hawaii, Fiji, New Zealand, Australia, Malaysia, India, and the list went on. I was about to experience places a young girl like me from Liverpool could only usually dream about!
"It's time for us to say goodbye, Bianca. They're asking all visitors to leave the gate." My mother and nana hugged me as tightly as they could. "Be good and be brave. Ring as soon as you can to let us know how it is."
I couldn't say anything back due to the huge lump in my throat, so I just nodded, holding my mother's hand tightly, not wanting to let go. The gates opened for the crew to embark the ship and my nerves were shot to pieces. The tannoy repeated the announcement for all visitors to exit the ship yard. My Mum had to turn and walk away, leaving me standing there all alone.
I found my voice. "I'll be fine, Mum. I'll call you as soon as I can," I shouted, holding back my tears as she turned and waved. I was determined not to cry. I didn't want to make them any more upset. She was already having a nervous breakdown at her only daughter flying the nest, so I didn't want to make it any worse for her by blubbering like a baby.
That was to be the last time I would see an old familiar face for months. I felt absolutely terrified, yet beyond excited all at the same time. I'd never lived away from home before. And had certainly never sailed on any sort of sea.
The most boating I'd ever done prior to this was a school kayaking trip in deepest, darkest Wales - which didn't end well. And my geographical skills left a lot to be desired, a fact I only came to realise during my cruise ship training. Up until then, I was certain that the Falkland Islands were right next to the Isle of Man. Who knew?
#
The gates closed and it was just me, myself, and I. I dragged my bags over to join a line of tired looking men and women who I assumed were the other crew members; they didn't seem very excited to be there. I flashed my biggest smile to my fellow shipmates, accompanied with an awkward hello. This didn't quite get the response I was hoping for; some of them stared at me blankly whilst most of them just looked through me as if I was invisible.
"Why are they all looking so miserable? What the hell have I let myself in for?" I asked myself, muttering under my breath.
"We're not all like that, girl."
I jumped as a voice piped up from behind me and turned around to come face to face with a very pretty red-headed girl about my age.
"I'm sorry... I was just... well, I was smiling and nobody acknowledged me." I stumbled for an excuse, holding my hand out. She was so glamorous! I felt scruffy in comparison. But I took a deep breath and said confidently, "I'm Bianca. I'm new."
"I can tell you're new by all them bags." She laughed. "You'll never fit all that stuff in your cabin, girl. We live in rabbit hutches. Didn't anybody warn you?" I was struggling to understand what she was saying, as she had the thickest Irish accent I'd ever heard.
"I'm Madison by the way, or you can call me Maddie. I'm one of the beauty therapists in the spa." Phew, at least that explained why she looked so perfect. She had just one small suitcase with her. I'd definitely gotten carried away with the packing.
"This is my fourth contract, all on the same ship mind, so I know the place inside out." She was looking me up and down. I really wished I had paid more attention to my embarkation outfit or at least got my hair done before I got on board.
"Where are you going to be working?" Maddie asked.
"I'm going to be the cruise director's secretary." I got the job description out of my bag to read over it.
"Jeez. That's a job and a half." She looked taken aback. "How did you get that gig? You must only be my age?" This girl was impressed, but I was perplexed by her comment. What exactly had I let myself in for?
"I'm used to working a lot and long days." I hoped I sounded more confident than I felt.
She smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure you'll be grand once you get settled into it." Maddie took one of my cases and gestured for me to follow. "They're calling for us to join. Stick with me and I'll show you the way,"
Thank goodness I'd met this girl. I wouldn't have had a clue where I was going. We went through a series of security checks to have our bags scanned, eventually arriving at the entrance to the ship where we were greeted by an important-looking man in a white uniform and peaked cap who checked off our names.
"What do we do now?" I whispered to Maddie.
"We wait and then he'll let us cross the gangway when it's safe to do so," she explained.
The gangway was just a rickety piece of wood that joined the land to the great big ship. It didn't look the safest. I could just see that piece of wood caving in with the weight of my bags. And the safety net strategically placed underneath did little to inspire me with confidence.
"Goodbye, dry land. Till we meet again," I whispered to the dockside, eyes tightly closed so as not to look down at the ten-metre drop beneath me. After a tense couple of minutes, I made it. Finally, I was on board Lady Anne.
I lurched over and grabbed the nearest handrail, holding on for dear life with my eyes squeezed shut again. This was about to be my first proper experience on the water and I couldn't lose my balance this early.
"What are you doing?" Maddie asked, looking worried.
"I'm getting my sea legs," I replied.
"Oh I see," said Maddie, laughing. "Well, you might be better doing that at 5.00pm when we actually leave; we're still tied up to the dock for eight hours."
I opened my eyes and sheepishly let go of the rail. I laughed too, hoping she didn't think I was too much of a nutcase.
Maddie directed me to the room where all the new joiners were to assemble. I was relieved to find that I wasn't the only new kid on the block. There were at least ten others, every one of them looking as lost as me. I took a seat.
"If you need me, I'm up on the spa deck. Good luck, Bianca, girl." Maddie patted me on the arm and off she trotted.
#
Fifteen minutes passed and I began to think I'd been forgotten about. One by one, all the other newbies had been collected, yet I was still sitting there all alone in an empty room. I was just about to give up and try to find Maddie, when a tall blonde guy dressed in a smart navy suit started walking towards me with a clipboard.
"Miss Drake?" He held out his hand.
"Yes, that's me." I shook his hand perhaps too enthusiastically.
"I'm Pete, the Assistant Cruise Director. I'm sorry for the delay. We had a problem with missing luggage. How are you feeling? First time on a ship?" he asked.
"I'm a bit nervous actually," I admitted. "Yes, it's my first time on a ship."
"Do you suffer from sea sickness?" Pete picked his pen up and started scribbling down notes.
"To be honest, I've never spent enough time on a boat to find out. I was ok on the ferry over to Dublin once, but that was years ago." As those words came out of my mouth, I realised how pathetic I sounded. I probably should have considered that small factor before I decided to take on a job at sea.
"Well, only time will tell," Pete smiled. "Cynthia, our Cruise Director and head of department, isn't available to meet you today but as her second in charge, I'll take you to your cabin then to the safety drill. Then we'll pop to the office to go through all the paperwork." Pete took my cases off me and led me out of the room. It sounded like it was going to be a very busy day.
"Bianca, have you packed for two years?" Pete asked, trying not to appear out of breath as he pulled my bags along. We passed through a maze of corridors all packed with crew members zipping in different directions, clunking through lots of heavy doors. Eventually we got to a tiny passageway on the right with three cabin doors.
"The cabin on the end is yours; you're sharing with one of the receptionists from the front office."
My face dropped. "I was assured in my interview I'd have a single room and that I wouldn't have to share with anybody!" I exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, not at the moment. You're next on the list for a single cabin when one becomes available, but for now you're sharing." Pete looked very serious. "This has twin beds and a port hole with actual daylight coming in. This is very unusual for a crew cabin. I suggest you enjoy it while you can." He opened the door and ushered me in.
I got to the door and was surprised to see I wasn't alone. There was a girl sitting at the dressing table. She jumped up, rather startled by my entrance.
"I'm sorry. I should've knocked." I hesitated in the doorway.
"Don't be silly, mate, it's your room, too. I'm Lisa, nice to meet you," Lisa had brown wavy hair with an amazing tan; she definitely had a surfer vibe going on. "I'm from Sydney, Australia. How about you?"
"I'm Bianca, pleased to meet you." We shook hands firmly. "I'm from England."
I'd never left my country before, never mind met anyone from Australia, yet there I was sharing a room with someone from the other side of the world.
"I'm going to catch you later, mate," Lisa said in her fantastic Aussie drawl. "I'm just going to grab a bite to eat." She left me alone in the cabin.
I sat on my bed trying to accustom myself to my new surroundings. At least I hoped it was my bed and not Lisa's. I peered out of the port hole, the tiny glass circle just above sea level that would give me a view of wherever we were travelling to in the world. How amazing was that?
I quickly got changed into my new uniform: white blouse with a navy blue skirt and matching jacket. I pinned on my name badge that read 'Bianca Drake - Secretary'. I looked at myself in the mirror, put on a touch of my favourite red lipstick, and took a deep breath. Looking back at my reflection, I felt very lucky to be on board this beautiful, majestic ship.
BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP.
I almost jumped out my skin. What the hell was that?
"A very good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is Captain Cooper speaking. I'm delighted to welcome you all on board our magnificent vessel, Lady Anne. In twenty minutes time we will be exercising the ship's company in our safety procedures. When the ship whistle sounds, please take your lifejacket and head towards your designated muster station."
I panicked and started ransacking the room for my safety gear. Just as I was groping under the bunk bed with my bum sticking up in the air, Pete appeared at the door with an orange life jacket and a luminous yellow hat.
"These are for you, Bianca. Follow me and I'll show you exactly what to do." He put the cap on my head. "First of all, as soon as you hear that alarm going off you should put on your lifejacket as if this is a real life emergency."
Pete passed me the jacket as though I knew what to do with it. I struggled at first, but with a bit of thought I got it on. I looked at Pete, feeling rather chuffed with myself.
"Bianca, that jacket is on back to front and the waist strap is around your neck like a noose."
This wasn't going to go down well at all.
#
I followed Pete down several corridors until we got to a foyer which led us into a huge restaurant. It was split into two levels with a massive marble staircase in the middle. It was so luxurious, all purple velvet with mahogany carvings - I didn't feel at all posh enough to be in there.
The venue was full of other crew in hi-vis life jackets and caps. Even more faces I didn't recognise - and they were all staring over. Pete got out a microphone and began to give instructions to the crew over the PA system. When he'd finished, he came over to talk to me again.
"Any minute now, the whistle will sound and the restaurant will fill up with our passengers," Pete informed me. "Just watch and learn. Everything I do now, you will be doing next week, including my microphone address, so please pay attention."
Me, instructing a safety drill? I didn't know one end of the ship from another. It seemed I had a lot to learn and fast. That god awful noise rang through my ears again as the captain repeated his speech over the tannoy.
No sooner had the captain's talk finished than the restaurant began to fill up with passengers. Hundreds of them. The majority were elderly people, many of whom had walking aids. Wheelchairs and walking frames were parked at every door as dear little old ladies and men shuffled in on their sticks or on a supportive arm to find somewhere to sit.
Once all the guests were seated, the captain gave his safety announcement, then Pete reeled out a speech about mustering, lifeboats and stepping off the ship in an emergency. Oh dear, I really hadn't thought about that part of the job, either.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please observe the crew members as they now demonstrate the wearing of the lifejacket."
Pete stared towards me, signalling for me to remove my lifejacket. I quickly pulled it off, immediately regretting it and wondering how the hell I was going to get it back on again. I was supposed to be showing passengers the correct way to put on a lifejacket, but I didn't feel comfortable doing it considering that on my first attempt, only a few minutes earlier, I'd almost choked myself to death.
"Place the lifejacket over your head, then connect the velcro strips together." By now, Pete was glaring at me.
"Pass the belt around your waist and close it at the buckle," Pete continued.
I wasn't prepared for this or quite sure what was going on, so I copied the crew member opposite me, but somehow I ended up with the strap wrapped around my neck again.
"There is a light on your lifejacket," Pete told the guests.
Was there? I couldn't find it. I think that was because I had the lifejacket on upside down. All the other crew members were pointing at this light on their perfectly assembled jackets, yet I was still fumbling around trying to work out what I'd done to myself, becoming more flustered, embarrassed, and tangled up a treat.
"There is also a whistle for attracting attention on the pocket on the side," Pete continued. By now he seemed to be purposely avoiding looking over in my direction, despite my obvious struggling. He was desperately trying to keep a straight face.
I found the whistle! YES! Now this I could demonstrate, no sweat.
PEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP
I blew the whistle as loud as I could. The old ladies at the next table jumped out of their seats in shock. I felt the whole room staring at me. I hoped I hadn't burst anyone's hearing aids. I'd certainly succeeded in attracting attention. I got that bit right. On second thought, maybe I wasn't supposed to do that.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please do not be alarmed. Bianca is just testing the safety equipment on her jacket," Pete assured the audience whilst giving me daggers across the room.
I was definitely not supposed to do that. I think I was just supposed to point to it, but it was too late, so I smiled and waved at everyone, when all I really wanted was for the ground to swallow me up.
"Oops," I said sheepishly to the sea of faces looking at me.
It was the guests' turn to put on their lifejackets with the crew's assistance. But I was still in such a mess that two elderly gentlemen, both sporting handlebar moustaches and nautical blazers, were helping me out of mine instead of me helping them into theirs!
"Don't worry, love, we've all been there on our first day at sea," chuckled one of the men.
"How the heck did you get that waist belt in a knot around your neck?" said the other chap. "That's a double half-hitch constrictor knot if I ever saw one."
I couldn't answer as the strap was pulling tighter on my windpipe and I was becoming desperate for breath. The men were making it even worse. Just as I could feel myself blacking out, Pete spotted the situation and came to unravel me.
"She put on a good show, didn't she, sir?" Pete joked with the guests as he deftly undid the front and finally freed me.
"I'm so sorry," I spluttered to Pete, gasping for much needed air.
As the guests filtered out the restaurant, Pete turned to me and smiled.
"Bianca Drake, that was possibly the funniest lifejacket demonstration I've ever seen in all my years at sea. Can you do that again next cruise?"
