Joy-Robbing Habits
Before you enjoy the anticipated humor, read each chapter’s list of Joy-Robbing traits. Take the profile by rating yourself from one to five with five being the most.
This way you’ll understand the trait from a personal point of view. This connection will increase this book’s enjoyment and learning.
Chapter One
Evasive Joy Robbers
Give yourself a score of 1-5 depending on your
identity to the trait with 5 being the most.
I harshly judge others.
I avoid intimacy to maintain distance
I allow my addictive behavior to limit intimacy.
I use evasive communication to avoid conflict
I keep my feelings to myself.
I want intimacy but push others away when I receive it (push – pull effect).
Strong people do not express personal feelings.
.
Evasive Joy Robbers
Strong people do not express personal feelings.
“Emotions?” You are sure there is an app for that somewhere.
You can handle any pain, that is… until it hurts.
You can’t seem to cry in the jail between your ears.
Under your chest, your dead soul has no feelings.
You have yet to learn - your ego is not to be your amigo.
The rock concert in your head keeps your emotions away.
I judge others harshly.
You never go to bed mad but instead stay awake plotting revenge.
You vow never to come out your room because your wife is acting so childish.
Your expectations are only resentments under construction.
You love the human race – it is the people you cannot stand.
Your last family reunion reminded you of central booking.
You are not afraid of Satan; you’ve married to Lucifer’s sister.
Since you have no sin, you are entitled to throw stones.
You do not mingle with your peers since you have no peers.
Your best attempt at expressing deep love often comes out as …
Nazi Nurturing.
I avoid intimacy to maintain distance.
You had to cancel your second childhood for lack of adult supervision
You wanted a mate just like mom and you finally found her in the line to the compliant department.
You think marriage gives you a license to irritate a special person for life.
You Mother taught you not to get angry - just be nice.
You accomplished your lifetime goal – finding someone sick
enough to marry.
You married for better or worse. He couldn’t do much better –
you couldn’t do much worse.
I allow my addictive behavior to limit intimacy.
You checked yourself into the Hokey Pokey Clinic … you know …
to turn yourself around
Self-reliant failed you.
Struggling did not free you from life’s quicksand.
Your attitude of “its all-about-me” got you here in the first place.
You don’t have relationships … you take hostages.
You think your bad day can always be improved with a drink.
You saw your teacher featured in a porn movie. You were homeschooled.
You tried to bribe the monkey to get off your back.
Drinking increases your quotient of awesomeness.
You have tennis elbow from compulsive masturbation.
With the addition of alcohol, you turn into an instant asshole.
You were sober for over 15 years then you had your 16th birthday.
I use evasive communication to avoid conflict.
You get off to the wrong foot simply by shoving it into your mouth.
Your best conflict resolution skill is straddling contradictions.
You haven’t spoken to your wife in two weeks and don’t intend on interrupting her.
You don’t really talk too much but are deadly afraid of silence.
You say one thing but really mean your mother.
You enjoy a good debate but love screaming obscenities more.
You don’t lie. You just tell the truth with bad intentions.
You are excellent in attentive ignoring.
You know all the answers but no one asks you.
I keep my feelings to myself.
When you dialed your current reality … it was no longer in service.
Every time you hear a pop-top open, you are nine years old again.
Getting dressed for you is deciding what style mask to hide behind.
You wake up grouchy and for the rest of the day it’s all downhill.
The only way you can feel better about yourself is to be with someone worse than you.
When someone says, Have a Great Day, you have other plans.
Your boyfriend gets lonely sleeping with you.
It is only your passionate hatred giving your life meaning.
I want intimacy but push others away when I receive it (push – pull effect).
You burn bridges you need to cross and repair ones needing destruction.
Your EX sent you a card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost
like you’re still here.”
You tried to bribe the judge to lift the restraining order so you
could date your ex-girlfriend.
Your mother sends you her love but you don’t believe her.
You believe eye contact is an act of aggression.
You are pleased to see your boyfriend arrive but never sorry
when he leaves.
Your horniness is the essence of your quintessential definition
of hope despite all past experiences.
