A sociopathic super wizard joins the Wizards guild. A guild where heroes are made and commercialized. When things donât go according to plan, he decides to improvise. A not-so-bright young and inexperienced wizard joins him along the way.
A sociopathic super wizard joins the Wizards guild. A guild where heroes are made and commercialized. When things donât go according to plan, he decides to improvise. A not-so-bright young and inexperienced wizard joins him along the way.
Lorc turned to look as Urick barged stumbling into the office, heading for his desk.
âHowâd it go?â He asked.
âIt didnât,â Urick said as he sat down, took off his hat, curled the paper on his desk and tossed it into the bin. He then grabbed the big leather tome in front of him, scrolled his fingers to the middle, and opened it with a thud. He sighed.
âThis is starting to feel impossible,â he said. âOne prospect stupider than the next.â
âYouâve been through, what, 14 candidates so far? Thatâs nothing. Took me 34 before I finally got my first,â Lorc said, pushing gray hair away from his face.
âHow did you not quit?â
âI wanted to, several times. With so many failures you start questioning if this is the right thing for you, you know. But I figured I didnât have much else going for me, so might as well stick this one out. I mean, sooner or later Iâd have to find one. And what do you know. This year Iâm only five more away from winning.â
âWho was your first? I never asked.â Urick turned to look at Lorc.
âOh, it was a small man. Think his name was BâSomething on B.â He thought for a second. âHuh, Iâve forgotten his name. But the target was a dragon, that I remember, and my commission for it was quite nice. I was so happy when it was over. It kind of got out of hand at the end, to tell you the truth.â
âWhich is why you changed your name?â Urick asked.
âYes.â
âYeah, it just, I donât know. I just canât deal with all these idiots. There must be something Iâm doing wrong here.â
âThere isnât.â
âHow do you know?â Urick looked at the page in front of him, a drawn picture of a young man with bushy dark hair and a sharp jaw.
âIâve read your logs. Just have a little faith. Youâll get one soon. Though, you could consider trying a different prospecting strategy.â
âWhatâs wrong with the one I have? Itâs perfect!â
âWell, youâre judging them based on their name.â
âAll the best heroes have letter rhymes.â
âYeah, in stories. This isnât a story.â
âNo, youâre right. Itâs the storyâ Urick thought for a moment. âWhat do you suggest?â
Lorc got up from his chair, walked over to Urick and looked through his book. âHere, this one.â
âBernhard Sim?â
âYeah, look, the age is right, heâs an orphan, and no siblings, wife or children. If that doesnât scream nothing to lose to you, I donât know what is. Plus, he doesnât have a job.â
âYeah, too stupid to get one.â Urick shook his head. âHe doesnât even look right. I mean, look at his face. He looks more like a clown than a hero.â
âHeâs not too stupid to get a job. Heâs too smart not to get one. You donât survive three years of unemployment without having some sort of talent. Letâs make a bet; 5 gold pieces heâs a âoneâ.â
Urick scratched at his beard. It could almost be considered medium length now. âI donât know. It just doesnât feel right. Letâs see.â He scrolled through a few more pages. âAh! There, now thatâs a winner.â
âFrank Fury?â
âItâs perfect. Look! Heâs also an orphan!â
âYeah, but he has a wife.â Lorc pointed at the page.
âWhat better motivation than a lost wife?â Urick said with a smile.
âYou know thatâs against the rules,â Lorc said, suddenly serious.
âRelax, Iâm just joking. Tell you what. Letâs do 10 gold pieces on Frank Fury, and we have a bet. This one will work. Iâm sure of it.â
Lorc studied the page carefully. Then he ripped it out and handed it to Urick. âYou got yourself a bet. Whoâs your target?â
âTyson âThe Zombieâ Willmarkâ Urick took out a loose sheet of paper from the back of the book. Lorc whistled. â50 gold pieces in the bounty? Sounds like a dangerous man.â
âNo risk, no reward.â
âExcept itâs not your risk.â
âExactly!â
I picked this book up because I liked the idea of taking the piss out of serious fantasy adventure. Anyone who has ever been to creative writing class knows about the hero's journey, which every successful story apparently has to have. It's nice to see this cliche of story telling mucked around with a little, and treated with the disrespect it deserves.
The two wizards in the story seem to be minor bureaucrats trying to ensure they rack up enough heroes completing journeys. It wasn't clear to me exactly why - were they paid per completed trip, or did they just find it amusing? But they certainly take a lot of trouble over it. As each hero goes on his journey, they mark off essential milestones on a checklist; acceptance of quest (or refusal), meeting the mentor, overcoming an obstacle, etc. All of this was mildly funny, in a dry smile sort of way, but because the plot is so heavily ironic, I didn't connect with any of the characters on an emotional level. Beyond being a bit naive and at times ornery, I couldn't tell you what the hero, Frank Fury, was like as a person, or distinguish the Wizards - both caddish liars - from one another. The dialogue was great, snappy and realistic, but I often found the scenarios hard to swallow. The wizards' excuses for pushing Frank along on the various essential steps get more specious and unbelievable as the story goes on, but Frank pretty much falls for everything. And then the story ends, abruptly, Frank having completed his travels, and you're left thinking, fine, but what was it all for? And over it all you can hear the author's whimsical, ironic voice, reminding you that it's a joke, so why should they have a reason for anything, really?
Overall I quite enjoyed the book, but I would have liked it to have a bit more depth, of characters and plot, and to be able to feel more engaged. And I do really need to know why the wizards bothered in the first place.