This book will launch on Oct 5, 2019. Currently, only those with the link can see it.🔒
Synopsis

A farcical sendup of Donald Trump’s rise to power and volatile partnership with Vladimir Putin...As a young boy, Donald Rump was less than precocious—a miserable student, prone to implacable tantrums, whose emotional intelligence ceased maturing at the age of 9. But the region of the brain responsible for egomaniacal self-assessment was prodigiously large. After some success and plenty more failure in real estate, he turns his attentions to reality TV and hosts a show called “Paycheck,” each episode of which concludes with Rump singing “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina.” Meanwhile, Vladimir Poutine was raised by KGB agents during the early years of Khrushchev’s reign. Poutine, a latent homosexual who immerses himself in the self-consciously manly world of “physical culture,” reads magazines about bodybuilding. Crushed by the demise of the Soviet Union, he copes in the most peculiar way: “he would slip into a silver lamé gown, pop on a curly wig and perform Marlene Dietrich classics at a local drag bar.” Rump decides he’d like to try his hand at politics and runs for president. Despite a bizarre campaign and a trail of seedy scandals, Rump wins with clandestine help from Poutine. And then, the fun really begins.

The Announcement

 

                        

       Donald descended a golden escalator, stepped onto a golden chariot being led by six 


beautiful blondes draped in gold centurion garb, traveled twenty yards to a golden podium and 


spoke to an assembled audience of 800 or so.  Many were Rump Organization employees 


required to attend, and others were paid by a field team to show up.  When he arrived at the 


podium, a great cheer erupted from the crowd.

 

     “Thank you my friends, my fans, and close associates. Let me be honest with you, we’re in 


trouble.  I don’t mean we at Rump International, I mean we in America.  We don’t win 


anymore!  And when I say ‘we’, I mean you.  I win all the time.  More businessmen want “RUMP” 


on their buildings than any other name in the world, believe me.  When I say America is losing, 


we’re losing jobs to Mexico, Japan, China, Vlet Nam, Indonesia, Estonia.  ESTONIA.  Little 


Estonia makes the dust filters for air conditioners that used to be made right here.  We’re losing 


the war on drugs, the war on crime, and the war on terrorism.  More Americans have been killed 


by terrorists on drugs after criminally crossing our borders than at any time in history, if you want 


to know the truth.  And it’s time that stops.  Don’t you think it’s time for that to stop? (crowd 


cheers). To be honest with you I’m fed up, aren’t you fed up?(bigger cheer). That’s why I want to 


hitch my track record of success to America’s future, and that’s why today, right now, I’m 


announcing I will be running for President of the United States.”

 

   A fifty-foot long banner fell from the ceiling with golden block letters outlined in black 


border reading:

 

                                                 RUMP FOR PRESIDENT

 

     “And ladies and gentlemen we are not going to be ‘the patsy’ anymore, the fall-guy, the weak 


guy bending over and taking it from every other country in the world.  No more mister nice 


guy.  We are going to stand up and be strong.  We may be a little prickly at times, a little irritating 


to Countries who take advantage of us.  And they take advantage of us all the time, believe 


me. And so our campaign motto is going to be:  MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN!”

 

     With that, an offstage band blared a rousing trumpet fanfare, and Rump launched into a 

full-throated, if off-key rendition of “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.”

 

 

  

                           

About the author

Robert Trebor is a character actor with more than 40 years experience. Two of his noteworthy roles are The Son of Sam in the film Out Of The Darkness, and Salmoneus the merchant in the Hercules/ Xena TV series. Playing both a psychopath and a salesman was enormously helpful in preparing this book. view profile

Published on May 31, 2019

30000 words

Genre: Humor & comedy

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