Cake By the Ocean
I’d heard it said that the secret to getting a group of complete strangers to sing along with you is picking a catchy tune, one that no matter how many times you’ve listened to it, you will always find a reason to listen to it again. If the song has a handful of cusses, especially in the chorus, then you've pretty much got a winner, and tonight that’s exactly what I did.
Propelled by the voices of a large portion of the New Bern High student body, I moved around the stage, holding the mic as if I’d always lived on it, and though that was far from true, I managed to work the crowd into a wild craze as I prepared to deliver the final chorus.
“Talk to me, baby,” I shouted. “I’m going blind from this sweet, sweet craving. Let’s lose our minds and go—”
“FUCKING CRAZY,” the entire gym shouted in unison.
“Ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we'll eat cake by the ocean.” I finished to a thunderstorm of clapping and whistles and was whisked away to make room for the next act.
I’d barely got down the steps leading down to the gymnasium floor when I was mobbed by my cousin.
“Holy shit,” Hannah cried. “I can’t believe you just did that.” She laughed, bear-hugging me and almost making us tumble into the two nervous contestants waiting backstage.
“Oh my God! I can’t believe I actually did it.” I laughed. “I know I said I’d do it, but I never thought I’d actually have the courage!”
Hannah squealed. “When you said you had an idea for letting people know who you are, I never thought you’d sign up for the talent show. That’s pretty badass, considering you just moved here.”
I beamed. “I guess that made it easier, you know? I mean, if nobody knows who you are, you can be whoever you want to be, and nobody’d be the wiser.”
“Well, you’ve done it! Let’s go watch the rest of the show.” Hannah pulled me out and through the curtain that walled the entrance to the stage.
People looked at me and nodded, giving me high-fives and pats on my back as we walked across the gym floor to find a place where we could watch the next contestants.
First, there was a group of students wearing kimonos and practicing a kata routine, which inevitably ended with a series of demonstrations of their prowess in breaking boards with their hands, feet, and even their heads.
The last contestants for the evening were three girls from the cheerleading squad, or at least that’s what I assumed since they were wearing skimpy cheerleading outfits, waving colorful pom-poms, and had their hair up in pigtails. They did one of their football game routines to the beat of Dua Lipa’s “Levitating,” and ended by screaming “GO BEARS, GO!” to the delight of the jocks in attendance.
“Here we go,” Hannah said. “They’re about to announce the link to the survey where everyone will choose the winner.”
“Oh. So there’s no panel of judges? The winner will be chosen by everyone here?”
“Duh. This is twenty twenty-one, you know?” Hannah joked. “Whoever has a phone and cares enough to vote can help select the winner.”
As if on cue, the link to a survey was displayed on the only screen hanging from the rafters, and everyone on the gym floor started typing furiously. The screen updated the results as they arrived in real time.
I could hardly believe it when my name showed up in the Top 5 list displayed on the screen. I was only four votes shy of fourth place, a boy named Toby who’d played “More Than Words” on his acoustic guitar, and only eleven votes away from first place, currently occupied by Suicide Squad, the cheerleader group.
“Suicide Squad is only in first place because most of the boys voted using their penises and not their heads,” Hannah said a little too loudly so others could hear her. “I bet you the number of votes for them would be proportionally lower to the amount of skin they showed during their performance.” She rolled her eyes and pretended to gag.
I mocked being outraged. “Hannah!”
“It’s true! Seriously, where’s the talent in showing everyone you can spell TEAM while putting on a soft-porn act?”
“If you think it’s too easy to look that good on a tiny skirt, why don’t you do it, Hannah?”
Hannah was taken aback by the question that came from somewhere close to her in the crowd and was ready to launch into a tirade when she recognized the person who spoke.
“Alex! Of course it had to be you.” She laughed. “Only someone with a peanut brain like yours would say something like that.”
“No, seriously,” said the boy with blond hair who was trying to make his way to us through the crowd. “I’d just love to see you dressed up like a cheerleader.” He had a mischievous grin on his face.
“In your dreams!” Hannah pretended to look disgusted, but she hugged him as soon as he was close enough.
“More than you can imagine,” he replied.
“Alex, this is my cousin Kate. She moved here from Hawaii, just yesterday.”
I looked at the boy standing in front of me, not really knowing what the norms for introductions were in this group. Should I extend my hand for a handshake, give him a fist bump, or did they do a mock kiss on the cheek, like I’d seen some older girls do at social events? I was spared the effort of making up my mind when Alex gave me a bear hug.
“Welcome to New Bern High, Kate,” he said, lifting me up a few inches off the floor and gently putting me down. “I hope you can help your cousin become a little less blind to the fact that the man of her dreams is right under her nose.” He winked at Hannah and received an elbow to the ribs in response.
I was about to say something back to Alex when I realized that the entire gym had fallen into a dead silence, apart from the theme from Jeopardy that was still playing in the background. I turned to ask Hannah what was going on but was surprised into silence at the sight of her and Alex staring open-mouthed at something behind me. More unnerving yet, everyone around was staring at me, reminding me of a dream I had when I was nine and dreamed that I’d finally gotten my period while I stood in front of the whole third grade class.
I surreptitiously pinched my thigh to make sure I wasn’t sleeping, and when that made me squeak with pain, I looked back to Hannah for reassurance, but she was still looking past me, over my shoulder. I was way too afraid to turn around.
“Hannah,” I hissed. “What the heck is going on? Why is everyone looking at me?”
Hannah put both of her hands on my shoulders and gently turned me around. “You, my friend,” she said, “just won the competition.”
I turned around, not quite understanding what she was talking about, until I finally saw what everyone had been staring at. The final votes had been submitted and the results showed that I had won, beating Suicide Squad by a single vote.
Both Alex and Hannah lunged at me from behind, knocking the air out of my lungs as they congratulated me, immediately setting off a massive roar of applause and cheers, as wave upon wave of well-wishers voiced their appreciation.
I was doubly surprised when I realized that, somehow, I was back on center stage and was again standing in front of everyone. Mr. Krakow, the principal, was shaking my hand and giving me a certificate, while an older woman, perhaps his wife, took pictures with her phone of the two of us.
I was finally brought back to reality when I noticed Mr. Krakow looking at me with questioning eyes, holding a microphone to my face. “Sorry, did you say something?” I mumbled.
Mr. Krakow laughed. “What is your name, young lady? Do. You. Have. A. Name?”
“KATE,” I shouted. “Sorry.” I tried again, softer this time. “Kate. My name is Kate.”
“Okay, Kate. And what grade are you in? I can’t say that I recognize your face…”
“I-I just moved here yesterday,” I continued. “I’m a junior and start school on Monday.”
“Well, welcome to New Bern High, Kate. I’m certain you’ll be quite popular this year,” he said, shaking my hand one more time. “Let’s hear it for Kate, everyone!”
Amidst the clapping, cheering, and even some boos, I frantically looked for Hannah and a way to make everyone stop looking at me, if only for a couple of minutes. I’d gotten more than I’d hoped for when I set out to participate in the contest, and right now what I wanted most of all was to vanish and reappear in my bedroom, away from the spotlight.
As if someone had listened to my unspoken wish, the DJ started playing a dance beat, the lights dimmed, people started dancing, and I was rescued by Hannah once again.
We danced and laughed and enjoyed the party until the end, and when I finally got back home, I’d been hugged by and shaken hands with so many new people that sleep, when it finally came, gave me a merciful break. I’d need to be on my best form if I was going to be accepted by my new schoolmates on Monday morning.
