Teen Mothers: Designing a Fabulous Life is a book for teen moms who want to achieve a great life for themselves and their children. It is also for those supporting teen moms who wish to offer genuinely helpful assistance. The book is a guide to beating the statistics and not living in poverty. Written by a teen mom who made it in life and raised a fine son on her own, the book offers advice on pregnancy, childbirth, the newborn and infant stages, as well as general ideas about motherhood and child raising from the perspective of teen motherhood. The book also provides guidance on career planning, training, and job seeking. The book explores what it means to be a good mother and describes the importance of participating in childrenās schooling, reading parenting manuals. It ends with a discussion of the benefits of being a teen mother. Throughout the book, there is plenty of encouragement for teen moms to be tenacious. The book provides the incentive to write down goals and offers the motivation to create actionable realistic plans and the know-how to achieve dreams. This book encourages pride, self-esteem, and accomplishment. It calls for strength, competency, and power.
Teen Mothers: Designing a Fabulous Life is a book for teen moms who want to achieve a great life for themselves and their children. It is also for those supporting teen moms who wish to offer genuinely helpful assistance. The book is a guide to beating the statistics and not living in poverty. Written by a teen mom who made it in life and raised a fine son on her own, the book offers advice on pregnancy, childbirth, the newborn and infant stages, as well as general ideas about motherhood and child raising from the perspective of teen motherhood. The book also provides guidance on career planning, training, and job seeking. The book explores what it means to be a good mother and describes the importance of participating in childrenās schooling, reading parenting manuals. It ends with a discussion of the benefits of being a teen mother. Throughout the book, there is plenty of encouragement for teen moms to be tenacious. The book provides the incentive to write down goals and offers the motivation to create actionable realistic plans and the know-how to achieve dreams. This book encourages pride, self-esteem, and accomplishment. It calls for strength, competency, and power.
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Introduction
This book is as much about the mental tenacity and drive that you, as a teen mom, must employ to defy the odds as it is a practical guide to pregnancy, childbirth, motherhood, and career planning.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Teen pregnancy can mean many things, but one thing is true: teen pregnancy alters your reality forever, especially if you keep and raise your child. Your reaction to this momentous change will determine your future. Some pregnant teens are overwhelmed ā they feel despair, anxiety, shame, and/or depression. No matter how you felt or responded to your pregnancy, it is never too late to stand up and be strong and change your reaction. You have the strength inside of you to make a good life for yourself and your child.Ā
Now that you have decided to keep your child, you must move forward with your new life. In straight-talking terms, this means becoming an instant adult and taking full responsibility for your choices and actions. I encourage you to grieve the loss of your childhood while embracing your newfound maturity.Ā
It is important that you fully grasp the reality of your situation. Three out of ten American girls get pregnant before the age of twenty.[1]Ā The statistics for those who keep their child are bleak, and rose-colored glasses will help no one. The truth is that many teen moms drop out of school and raise their children in poverty. They lead hard lives. Parenthood is the number one reason teenage girls drop out of high school, and less than 2% of teen mothers get college degrees. Children born to teen moms have statistically worse outcomes in terms of health, schooling, and earning power.Ā
These are sobering statistics. To avoid becoming one of them, you must make an unbreakable commitment to finishing your education and getting training that will allow you to find a well-paying job. While this is hard, it also offers hope to escape poverty and live a good life. Thus, as much as it is important to prepare for motherhood, it is equally important to identify your career goals, make plans, and take action.
As a teen mom, you must never feel limited by your choice to keep your child. Children are a gift, yet they also bring great responsibility, and you need to have a realistic view of these responsibilities. See your pregnancy as a launching point to take action. Let it empower you to grow stronger every day. Think of your pregnancy as a catalyst for a new mission in your life: to be the best parent you can be while pursuing your dream career.Ā
Remember, the choice of how you handle your pregnancy is yours. Recognize that there are no easy ways out. You need to be your own leader, but sometimes, life will be very hard. From now on, you must embrace discomfort and make it your friend, for it will lead to positive change. How you deal with your pregnancy, mothering your child, and career actions will unlock your future success.
A lot of people and resources out there can help you. From now on, you need to be confident. Your ability to reach out and ask for support is paramount, so you can make good decisions around the challenges of your future. In short, you must own your destiny but also rely on the help and advice of others. You can accomplish anything you want by making wise choices that will ensure a good life for you and your child.Ā Ā
This book shows you the steps you need to take to build a great life. It shows you how to take action and embrace a mindset that will help you overcome challenges and never give up. You will also learn practical information about theseĀ topics[AGJ2]Ā :
Pregnancy
Babies 1ā5 months
Mental toughness
Birth
Babies 6ā12 months
Career planning
The newborn period
The first year
Discipline
Ā
The book will teach you that no matter how often you fall, it is never too late to get up again. I encourage you to embrace grit and tenacity, as these characteristics will bring you through tough times and never let you quit. Teen moms need to be mentally strong ā and luckily, being a teen mom makes you strong through the everyday challenges you face. This book will help you harness the power that your situation demands of you.
Why Iām Writing This Book
But who am I to be giving you this advice and promising to teach you how to be a successful teen mom? I was a teen mom, and I overcame the odds. I had my son David shortly after my 18th birthday. I had no support from my family and none from the father of my child, but I continued with my schooling and eventually got my Ph.D. I taught for years at universities in North America and Europe. While I made mistakes, I think am a good mother and have a successful career. In part, I have my sense of humor to thank for getting through (and I apologize in advance for my bad jokes)!
However, even though I have done current research for this book, please take what advice you like and discard the rest. As with all advice, think about it and then decide whether or not it is relevant to your own life choices. Nothing is written in stone. My experience as a teen mom was decades ago, so Iāve read up on all the latest childcare and career planning methods. It seems having a baby today is a big deal! Thereās a lot more to do and donāt do, including counting dirty diapers (who wants to do that?). Still, what I offer is my own perspective, and the last thing I want to do is shove it down your throat.Ā
I hope you donāt feel patronized. Just take what I say as my opinion and know I want you to be entirely free to follow or disregard my assertions. Generally, you will be offered a lot of advice (some of it conflicting) by everyone from your mother to your supermarket teller. In the end, you must trust your own instincts and do what you think is right.
I also hope you will see me as a real person who made mistakes. Thereās a lot I would do differently if I had young children today. But even if Iām from out of the Ark, some things about life never change. I know from experience what it is like to be a teenage mother living in dire poverty ā and about how to climb out of poverty, beat the odds, and prosper.Ā
I hope this book helps you do the same in your life and that you enjoy reading and learning from it. Most of all, I wish you a happy and prosperous life with your new family.
[1]Ā Kost, Kathryn, and Stanley Henshaw.Ā āU.S. Teenage Pregnancies, Births and Abortions 2008: National Trends by Age, Race and Ethnicity.āNew York: Guttmacher Institute. [Online]. Accessed February 11, 2022.Ā
Ā [AGJ1]Thank you for this lovely acknowledgement, Michelle! It was a true pleasure working with you on this.
Ā [AGJ2]Sentences tweaked in this paragraph.
There are many "expected parenting" books on the market from people who tell you what to expect but haven't walked the walk. Michelle Swann's book differs from them by being informative and adding personal experiences that show the reader that she's been there, lived through it, and being a teen mom didn't ruin her life. Yeah, that's a common stigma against teen moms. Regardless of age, pregnancy and child-raising are not a walk in the park. It's life-changing. It can (at times) drain you mentally, physically, and financially. But it can also be the best rewarding job you will ever have!Ā
Teenage Mothers: Designing a Fabulous LifeĀ is designed to target teen moms, but I found that much of the material benefited any expected first-time parent. For example, what to expect at doctor visits, how to tell family and friends, and the importance of finishing your education. As there is a stigma about teens having children, the same can be said for women over a certain age having a child. They receive some of the same treatment as their younger counterparts: stares, lectures, and unwanted opinions. Regardless of a mother's age, knowing what to expect at each appointment, common pregnancy complaints, tips on constructing a birthing plan, and what to expect in the four stages of labor can help answer questions you might not even know to ask.Ā
I had my first child when I was twenty, but even then, I wasn't prepared for what would come. I was learning as I went along. Did I fail? Yes. Will you? Of course. Michelle Swann points out that we will all fail at some point; that's human nature. I wish this first-hand resource guide when I was pregnant. I wish someone would've spoken to me from personal experience in real terms, as the author does refreshingly. Michelle Swann did not sugarcoat that every step would go smoothly. In fact, her delivery could have been better. She had two GP (general practitioners) whose bedside manners could have been more professional.Ā
This book doesn't lecture. It doesn't tell you one way is better than another. It doesn't make you feel ashamed about being a young mother. The author gives every side of the spectrum, so you can choose how to raise your child. Cloth or disposable diapers. Bottle or breastfeed. Make the decision that's right for you and your child.Ā
There are a few topics that every parent should follow to a tee:
Never strike your child.
Never smoke near them.
Never shake them.
Be a good role model.
You are your child's first teacher. Teach them to grow up respecting others, and as Michelle Swann says, respect reading over screens. People around you might debate the appropriate time for a child to sit and stare at a screen. Michelle breaks it down from 18 months and up. Michelle also speaks about vaccinations. I know this is a hot topic right now. Many parents are opting out of them, even ones that have been away for decades. While I believe in vaccinations, the choice is ultimately yours to make. The writer doesn't attempt to sway you or even remark on those who abstain from them.Ā
Teenage Mothers: Designing a Fabulous LifeĀ wraps up by discussing the importance of preparing for your family's future. Raising a child is a costly endeavor. Plans must be made to keep you from living in poverty. While the process might seem overwhelming, there is help out there...you need to seek them out.Ā
Help. Help is a familiar word in this book, and that's precisely what you'll need. Whether you are 16 or 46, you will need help at some point. Lean on others. Seek medical help if you are feeling depressed. Seek financial assistance. A career counselor. Lean on people who lift you up and want to see you succeed. And never surround yourself with people who don't. Be the advocate for your family. You can do this. Michelle Swann wishes you luck, and so do I.Ā
I could discuss so much more, but it's best coming from Michelle Swann. I recommend teen moms read this book. Despite the title, there's enough material that first-time moms of any age can find helpful.Ā
On a final note, I loved the cute cover and all the family photos.Ā
Review submitted 2/27/23