Book Nerdection Review by Chantal Onyango
Team Roommate- A Roommates To Lovers Romance Done Right
On the day of All Hallows Eve, Brendan falls victim to yet another full house robbery, only this time, his apartment lease has also been terminated and his car stolen. Humiliated, he has no other options than to search online for a place to stay. Brokenhearted model Trixie, dumped on the same exact day, now has a room available to rent under one of two conditions: her new roommate MUST be a single female or a gay male to eliminate any potential heartache. Brendan, a straight male, puts in a bid for the room. With a gay brother to emulate, playing gay to stay for the duration of the year-long lease he signs shouldn’t be a hard task. Right?
introduced to some exceptionally strong characters.
Something would be amiss if I failed to mention the humor sprinkled on every page of this book. It’s not just the puns, it’s the clever comebacks, the witty innuendos and the downright funny scenarios the characters are cornered into.
Not all steamy scenes are the same. Johanna Atman, however, knows exactly when, where and how to turn it up!
Book Nerdection Review by Chantal Onyango
Team Roommate- A Roommates To Lovers Romance Done Right
On the day of All Hallows Eve, Brendan falls victim to yet another full house robbery, only this time, his apartment lease has also been terminated and his car stolen. Humiliated, he has no other options than to search online for a place to stay. Brokenhearted model Trixie, dumped on the same exact day, now has a room available to rent under one of two conditions: her new roommate MUST be a single female or a gay male to eliminate any potential heartache. Brendan, a straight male, puts in a bid for the room. With a gay brother to emulate, playing gay to stay for the duration of the year-long lease he signs shouldn’t be a hard task. Right?
introduced to some exceptionally strong characters.
Something would be amiss if I failed to mention the humor sprinkled on every page of this book. It’s not just the puns, it’s the clever comebacks, the witty innuendos and the downright funny scenarios the characters are cornered into.
Not all steamy scenes are the same. Johanna Atman, however, knows exactly when, where and how to turn it up!
The first time Brendan Rivera was robbed of his car, belongings, and money by a girlfriend was two years ago. Shayla, a petite five-foot-two firecracker wearing homemade cut-off shorts, waited until he was at work before packing up all his things and dragging them into her new boyfriend, Chet’s truck. Once the apartment was empty, she used Brendan’s laptop, logged onto the neighbor’s unsecured internet connection then proceeded to drain all the funds from his bank. She casually plopped the laptop on Chet’s passenger seat and rode off into the sunset.
The second time would happen later that morning, Friday, October 31, 2014, Halloween Day, but Brendan didn’t know it yet.
He opened his eyes as he lay in the queen-sized bed with his girlfriend, Gina. He could hear her snoring lightly beside him and purposely avoided witnessing her drooling on the pillow through a web of light brown hair covering her face. He closed his eyes and felt the shame of the cage he had built for himself. He was only with her because he would never love her, and she could help pay for half the crazy-high rent in North Hollywood, California.
He had moved out here to live with his brother, Keane, after Shayla had cleaned him out. Brendan knew he was impeding on both of their love lives in a big way. Finding a decent job and a roommate took fifteen months longer than anticipated.
Gina’s ad online looked safe enough to answer. She was looking for her first place away from her parents. They clicked and started dating the night they met to view apartments together. The lack of a suitable location for sex made it easy to move their relationship too fast.
He got out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom to get ready for work. It was a relief to finally get a job as a financial advisor where he could use his MBA. Being able to sit in an air-conditioned office wearing a suit was worth the debt on his college loans. When he first arrived in California, he was given a job in construction at Keane’s general contractor company. Brendan twitched, thinking about that back-breaking work. Muscles should be built in a gym, not outside in the heat, while he collected bruises and splinters.
He climbed in the shower and shampooed his hair when he suddenly felt Gina’s hands moving up on his soapy legs and hips. He quickly rinsed his hair so he wouldn’t miss seeing her naked on her knees, with his erection in her mouth. He backed himself against the tile wall to prevent a slipping injury, gripping onto the high window sill and soap dish. His entire body clenched as she moved his shaft in and out. He let out a groan as his breaths grew faster. He watched the shower water make her long hair flow silky smooth over her over-tanned back. Her striking blue eyes flipped open to look up at him, making him jump slightly. He tried to smile to let her know he was enjoying this good-morning gesture, but he could barely contain himself as his body started to convulse in the release.
Gina moved off of him casually and stood to wash her hair and face. He watched her for a moment to see if he was supposed to kiss her or return the favor, but she made no other moves toward him. Her nipples lacked hardness from being turned on. It was as if she had just performed a regular chore, as easy as bagging up the trash. He stepped toward her, his hands ready to touch her, but she put her palm on his chest to stop him. “You’re going to be late,” she warned.
“No kiss?”
She wiped the water off her hair twice as she looked at him with a hint of disdain. “I kissed you.” She smiled seductively and then blinked several times to indicate he was an idiot if he didn’t get the reference.
“Yes, you did,” he agreed. He backed out of the shower and grabbed a towel. “You kissed the hell out of me.”
She closed the shower door behind him and returned to conditioning her hair.
“Are we still going to Jackie’s Halloween party later?” he asked.
“Uh-huh.”
“What are we wearing?”
“It’s a surprise.” She let out a slight laugh that made him uncomfortable.
“Am I going to hate this costume?”
“To be determined. Now, go to work.”
He looked at her naked body through the textured glass shower door. He felt his member starting to perk up again under the towel and rushed out to get dressed before it got any crazy ideas.
Later that day, Brendan sat at his desk in his private office, starving and waiting for his 1:00 pm lunch hour to start. He’d already eaten a crunchy donut left out for several hours, which he’d found in the break room. Stomach gurgling made him regret that decision. He pushed up his glasses while staring at his computer screen with his client’s financial profile when his phone chirped with a new text notification. He read the text twice, confused.
Chatsworth Villas: What address do I send your deposit? Henry, apart mngr
Brendan: What do you mean?
Chatsworth Villas: Did walkthrough. Gina said suitcase will be gone by afternoon. Need street address to send your half of deposit $850 check. Original deposit amount $1,000-$150 for painting
Brendan: Did we move out?
Chatsworth Villas: You can also come by office to get the check. What do you mean?
The phone rang, showing his brother Keane’s name and photo on the screen. “Hello?” Brendan put it on speaker.
“I’ve shopped all the deals, and we need to get a flight to Austin within the next hour. After tonight the holiday season is officially open, and the prices will skyrocket,” Keane urged.
“I’m not going home for the holidays.”
“Common, bro. You can’t leave me hanging like this. There’s no way I’m going there alone.”
“I don’t want to go this year. Maybe next year,” Brendan answered, distracted as he swiped the screen on his phone and returned to stare at the text message exchange he’d just had.
“Mom hasn’t seen me in three years. Please take the heat off me. Bring Gina; that’ll be enough of a meal for Dad to chew on for a few days,” Keane begged, then muttered something to one of his workers at his site. The phone started making scratchy sounds from rubbing up against his shirt. “I can't show up by myself. And I’m sure as hell not subjecting Antonio to that mess. Dad doesn’t want to see the gay disappointment. I’m an ex-jock, an Army veteran, and a construction worker. He sees most of the Village People. Wait, we’re half Mexican, which counts as American Indian. All of the Village People,” Keane said while making a disco music sound. “He wants you, Mr. Lovesick. He still believes you might give him a grandkid or three.”
“No chance of that happening. And you’re only part of the band. You missed the cop and the biker in black leather. “Um”—he re-read text messages for the fifth time— “can I call you back later?”
“I’m about to go into a meeting to give a serious ass-tearing to an employee who screwed the pooch. It’s now or never on the tickets. Can’t you spread some of your toxic love around? For me? You owe me.”
“I owe you for having the worst luck at dating ever?”
“Luck? You’re choosing to date only felons or wanna-be-brides who want to show off a ring and snag the ‘wife’ title. Remember Leslie? Slapped you hard in front of Mom at Christmas and left?”
“I never even hinted I was going to propose on Christmas Eve. She fantasized I would,” Brendan remembered.
“After only three months? Wanna-be-bride. Don’t forget felon Stole-Your-Shit-Shayla,” Keane laughed hard, then coughed and ordered another worker around before returning to the call. “Gina hasn’t asked for a ring. I smell felon. If you know what’s good for you, dump her before she strikes. It’s the end of the month. You should give your 30-day notice tonight. I’ll help you find something by December first, okay?”
Brendan stared at the text message some more. Gina had to have given a 30-day notice last month to schedule a walkthrough today. Oh, God, the apartment was completely bare. “I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later.” He hung up before Keane could respond.
Brendan cited stomach issues for leaving work early for the day. But he didn’t have to lie; it was tied in knots. Gina had his car, supposedly to pick up their Halloween costumes. Oh God, his car. His payment to the ride app went through, a good sign, wasn’t it? The key stuck in the lock, making him rest his head against the door while saying a little prayer, “Please don’t be empty. Please be wrong.”
He pushed the door open and saw only a single suitcase with a garment bag draped over it occupying the living room. The place was thoroughly empty and immaculate as the day they’d first moved in. The carpet had crisscross lines from being professionally deep cleaned. Only professional movers could have taken the bedroom, living room, and dining room sets in five and a half hours. He had just bought all the furniture three months ago, damn it to hell. She must have started a massive undertaking with lots of workers the minute he left for work at 7:30 am.
He called Henry from the manager’s office and pushed his garment bag to the floor so he could sit on top of his shiny silver suitcase. “Hi, Henry? It’s Brendan in 135. Um, when did Gina give you notice?”
“Dude, I read your text over and over. I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe she just ghosted you like that. I saw the movers and her parents helping her pack up the car. She swung by and got her half of the deposit.”
“She took my car too?”
“Oh, man! Seriously, that was your car? You better call 911,” Henry suggested. He tried and failed to hide his muttering as he retold the story to whomever else was in the office with him. He got back on the phone. “Brendan, I got your check right here, buddy. I’m really sorry about this.”
Brendan hung up with Henry, then quickly signed onto his bank to check his accounts. The zero dollars at the bottom of his balance made him scream, “Felon number two!! I hope you crash my car and grossly disfigure your lying face!” Cleaned out again, he’d only have $850 to his name from the returned deposit. His next paycheck wasn't for two weeks. Apartment complexes request application fees, deposits, and the first and last month’s rent. Staying at a hotel would quickly burn through his money and make him homeless in under a month. He dialed 911.
An hour and a half later, the officer took Brendan’s statement and the list of stolen items. The officer asked for an address to contact him when they heard anything. Brendan didn’t want this getting back to Keane. It was too pathetic. He gave his work address, which in the long run, could be even worse. What if the police contacted them, and he lost his job? He’d have to get ahead of the situation on Monday and explain the story to his boss.
He sat alone in a lounge chair under the overhang at the apartment complex pool with his luggage. He went through several websites and hundreds of ads for rooms to rent, looking for three specific needs; furnished, within walking distance of his job, and in his price range.
Almost every ad failed at one of the three requirements until the perfect one made him stop and read it aloud to himself. “A block away from work, check, furnished, hell yeah, rent is doable once I get paid. What’s the catch?”
His shoulders sagged as he read it, “Straight female or gay male, damn.” The request said it all. She was a straight chick that was sick to death of men and needed a roommate that would never hassle her sexually, which was completely understandable. Living with a woman was dangerous as hell. Familiarity always brought a certain kind of attraction. He knew himself well enough to know he was an opportunist, not a hunter. He didn’t like to go out and find women, but if they were placed at his feet, watch out. His choices were homelessness or maintaining control of his Johnson while pretending to be gay, no problem.
There was also the third option of staying with his brother again. Brendan had given up more than a year’s worth of privacy to sleep on the couch of Keane’s tiny one-bedroom apartment. He didn’t want to repeat that. Keane was in love with his boyfriend Antonio, which Brendan hoped he would marry soon. But that wouldn’t happen if Brendan went back to cock-blocking them by staying in the living room.
He called Keane to let the conversation make up his mind.
“Rates are already going up,” Keane answered.
“Don’t go home either. It’s not like you want to anyway.”
“What’s wrong?” Even over the phone, Keane could hear micro-expressions and changes in mood. It was almost impossible to keep things from him.
“Nothing. Small tiff with Gina,” Brendan lied.
“Her eyes are too close together. They’re practically on top of her nose. Where do they go when she squints?” Keane waited a moment and realized this was serious, and his dumb jokes weren’t helping. “Don’t be heartbroken. You fall in love too fast. Her face needed more consideration before you moved in with it.”
“I only fell in love once,” Brendan mumbled, sounding sad and lost. He raked his nails through his short brown hair and scratched his scalp to calm himself.
“I’ll repeat my advice; seek therapy,” Keane suggested. “It’s been too many years for your heart to still be this paper-thin on the subject of Beth.”
“Gina doesn’t deserve to be discussed in the breath as Beth.”
“This is causing you to choose these crazy women you can’t possibly love.”
“Just leave my wife out of this.”
“She's not your... anymore.”
The side of Brendan’s cheek twitched.
“You should be grateful you both recognized true love in high school. You'd be married-for-life if it wasn’t for her leukemia.”
“We already were.”
“Don't give up. It could happen again.”
“I don't want to love anyone else. And I suck at casual sex.”
“That’s an understatement. Remember the one before Gina, that Jules chick? I had to peel her off of you. I’m pretty sure she’s got a wedding dress hanging in her closet, and she’s still waiting for your call.” Keane sighed deeply on the other end. “Get your own place. Look for a nice girl. Or find a place that already has a nice girl in it. Just move the hell out now.”
“I’m considering your words very carefully. I’ll let you know how it turns out.” Brendan hung up. The room for rent offered other amenities he hadn’t considered; privacy and anonymity from his past mistakes. The ride app was called again to take him to the room for rent’s address. “I’ll make it work,” he muttered to himself.
Scammed by yet another girl, Brendan finds himself broke, homeless, and without a car. This isn’t the first time he’s been in the situation - his brother bailed him out last time. But admitting he fell for another deceitful girl would be too much of an embarrassment. So Brendan takes it upon himself to find a place to live without his brother’s knowledge. Given his predicament, though, his next move will have to be financially and emotionally ideal.
When Trixie’s current boyfriend (and roommate) drops a bomb on her, she suddenly finds herself out of a relationship and out of a roommate. In need of someone to help with her mortgage, she puts out an ad for a new roommate. Her requirements are pretty simple: straight female or gay male.
The condo is perfect for Brendan - walking distance to his office and affordable, once his next paycheck comes in. The only problem is he’s straight and clearly doesn’t meet Trixie’s main requirement. But his brother is gay, so how hard could it be to pass as gay to ensure he has a roof over his head? Once he meets Trixie, he realizes it will be much more difficult than he thought. There’s no denying how stunningly beautiful she is.
After a thorough background check by Trixie’s friend and neighbor, Reggie (who actually is gay), Brendan is set to move in. But it seems like Trixie’s gaydar is the only one not working properly. Everyone Brendan meets is on to him, but thankfully agree to go along with the charade.
But the blinders on Trixie’s “gaydar” won’t last forever. Will she stick to her rules when she finds out the secret that Brendan’s been keeping, or will she forgive and forget and allow them to live happily ever after?
I’ll admit that when I started reading and learned of Brendan’s plot to score the condo, I was expecting him to act over-the-top gay, and I feared that would be an offensive portrayal of the LGBT community. But there was somehow a healthy balance of Brendan’s normal personality mixed with some moments of him “acting” gay, which added a bit of comical relief.
Trixie is described as “princess” that expects everyone to give her what she wants and do everything for her, but I think that portrayal of her falls flat. She didn’t come off as a conceited model who thought people owed her the world. Sure, she was sometimes a bit dramatic, but I feel like her character was built up a bit more than it actually came across throughout the book.
I also felt that there was no real climax to the story. I expected Brendan’s secret to be exposed in some chaotic way that would result in Trixie being angry and kicking him out. There was no real build up of the big reveal - it just kind of happened and was dealt with in a way that Brendan and Trixie agreed upon.
Overall, the book had a slow start but I was pleasantly surprised to find myself entertained and often laughing. It’s a good read for some comical relief and light reading.