I am feeling myself today I had a good day at work and I am not stressing over a man. I am at peace and I am glad to arrive at this place although it has not been easy. It’s so hard to find good company these days. A lot of men are all about playing games. Either they are trying to use you until they find the right one or playing you while he plays around with other women. I don’t think men know what they want. At least the men I have dated. From my experience they are basing their decision on the wrong things. A woman can have the greatest body and or a pretty face and sometimes that still isn’t enough. My mother use to tell my brothers, that you cannot base a good relationship on looks. You can be attracted to a woman but that woman should get you to love her mentally first. A man would be a whole lot happier with a woman he chose if it was someone who can stimulate their mind. I don’t think men have a clue to what a woman has to go through to build her own confidence. All we ask them to do is validate that. It’s simple just make the woman in your life feel special and important to you. I mean I don’t want to attract all men I want to attract a man who can add something to my life and I can in return add something to his. The something is simply someone I can trust to protect our relationship and realizes that he has someone in his life that is there for him.
A relationship where we are there for one another when things go wrong because things are always going wrong. Someone who can get you through the day when you’re having a bad day at the office or if the Family may need you to help with a crisis. It may be for someone to share your stories with and make you laugh when you are down. Someone who can see when you need something and provide what you need. Meaning if I forgot my lunch he would call me and say “Hey honey, you forgot your lunch can I pick you something up?” The one thing I am tired of is the bullshit that goes along with dating today. I think women went down the wrong road when they decided they would live their life like men do. Sleeping with men and believing they can’t catch feelings after waking up with them in the morning. The problem with that is women live in their minds and that it does something emotional to a woman when she tries to take on this role. Our roles in life is view differently and so is the way we think. A woman life can change because we have children. We are nurturers and we form attachments we just can’t cut our feelings off. If we as women stood up and demand a man considers only to date a woman when they are serious about getting to know one another and building a relationship. Should be the only reason for getting involved and looking towards a future. It would change the relationship and rebuild families. Living your life on the edge and just deciding to sleep with whoever you want to. You can forget the real reason you are doing it and when the right man comes along you may miss him by using the tactic you been using on all men. Sex should not be a factor that determines a relationship. Sex best results from the feelings two people developed between one another. When I look at the circle of women in my life friends, family members and strangers that I have met and are single they are living independently and dating
is their relationship. They live their lives on the chat lines, online dating, Facebook and other social media to meet new prospects. The point is to let go of social media when you finally pick someone. If you continue to look you are not giving yourself a chance to find out what you pick is right for you. People are always trying to keep a backup. When the backup turn out to be a waste of time then you wasted a great deal of time on two bad potential relationship. Where is the fun in the old ways of dating and that is using god’s plan to meet someone socially and settle down naturally and work at it. People are excited by the potential of a new relationship but not willing to do the work to keep it. A lot of people still continue to go on social media after the find someone. Always looking to have someone just in case it doesn’t work out. Everyone is so afraid to heal and accept the emotions that go alone with a breakup. They end up transferring all that unnecessary feelings unto the new relationship. Holding them accountable for their mistakes from the other relationship. People are finding more fun in seeking and searching for mates and then putting the blame on all kinds of reasons why they are still single. I don’t think people know what a good relationship looks like since generation over a decade ago were doing it and following traditional ways. When it comes to relationship I think we all need to stick to the basics. People are getting married but they are not staying together. I wish we could go back to the traditional way of doing things. My parents stayed together over fifty years. They were dedicated to one another. They knew how to commit. I have so many friends that think commitment is only honored as long as you are together and happy. The minute you are not then this means they are allowed to step out of the relationship and this gives them the right to
leave and blame the other person for it not working out. My parents had the best kind of relationship when it came to communication. They never got really mad at one another for small trivial things. They would disagree but it was over after they said what they wanted to say. They never continue to have silent negative feelings about anything. They never thought about breaking up over it. My parents could have a telepathic conversation just by looking at one another from across the room. If someone said something about either one of them they would check with one another. They did not allow anyone else to intervene in any way in their relationship. They believe in one another. They believed in the foundation of marriage. They were a team as well as a couple. When something happened to my father my mother would be home waiting on him to pull him together and give him the support he needed to get back out there. In today’s world and in my generation couples will leave one another if they don’t close the toothpaste after brushing, or for even lesser reasons. Sure my parents argue I mean sometimes it was even physical but no matter how bad they stayed together. My father was not a man to hit my mother when they fought because he said if you love someone no matter how mad he would get he would never hit her because lf you love them you don’t want to see them hurt. Love would always make you do the right thing. He never thought about cheating because he knew you could live a life time and never find the right one. We all believe that story about the grass being greener in other pasture. Sometimes that grass is burnt. You could end up being That person who ends up just being in a relationship and overlook what your needs are in order to be happy in your relationship. This can make a man very unhappy according to my father. A man wants to be a silent leader. My mother lead but ultimately she trusts my father judgement. Whether
it turned out wrong or right. They live with the mistake together. My father would often tell me that in order for a man to be happy a woman should value his opinion but only if it makes sense. He did not want someone who had no values and no dreams to telling me what to do and leading me into a terrible direction. A man must be able to feel good being in his woman company. Whenever he gets off from work he would immediately become happy because he was coming home to my mother. He could not wait to get home to tell her about his day. Then talk about life and share dinner and just be comfortable. The one thing he always was happy about was he could be comfortable around my mother and she not look for faults and point out stuff that he did wrong. He meant his sister Carol. Carol was always coming over talking about how her husband Jason never did anything around the house. My father hated when she gossips about her husband. He would often tell her why tell us, tell him. She says she does but he isn’t try to do better. He suggested she change her approach. He told her that nothing is more hurtful to her relationship then putting her man down. Not only do you take away his power but take away his pride and he may not want to be there anymore. It is like a fat person trying to lose weight. No matter how fat you call a fat person and then call them names Is not going to make them change. It is the approach. My mother always knew how to make my father smile. The one thing he thought was very important was you never make the person you with jealous and never think cheating will help your relationship. You think you having fun but the person you cheating with is not trustworthy and you end up messing up yourself. If she cheats with you then she scandalous from the jump. Give the person you are involved with the opportunity to fix it. If the person is
not listening, then seek a third party like a therapist. This is only if you want to work it out. If not let the person you are involved with know you are willing to walk away from the relationship. Sometimes the simplest thing can change your relationship. My father always said things that made my mother feel special. When she had gain weight he told her she was beautiful and he loved her just the way she was. The only two people that can help their relationship is the two people who were in love with each other. Bringing someone else in your relationship is only going to create and end in disaster because you hurt the one you with and the other person. Women can’t win men over by cheating eventually he will ask himself if she was willing to be with a cheater then she might do the same thing when she gets with you. Besides the home wrecker that broke up your family really didn’t get involved with you on good terms so there is really no solid relationship. My own personal opinion is I question what the other woman feels she is getting when she convinces a married man or a man in a committed relationship to cheat. I don’t see what she expects to gain. The whole relationship is based on deception. This is for women who date men and know they are married. I have no respect for this kind of woman. This type of woman might get the man to turn his head but then after she will have to always look over her shoulder for the next thirsty bitch to do the same to her. I believe in Karma.