When Sally unexpectedly becomes a mother at twenty, she tries her best to build a stable life for her son, Morgan. But the sleepless nights, overwhelming isolation, and relentless cries wear her down until she breaks, and in a moment of desperation, she does the unthinkable: she shakes her baby. Consumed by guilt and fear, Sally buries her actions beneath a facade of normalcy, but the cracks are beginning to show.
Enter Alyssa, the teenage babysitter, who is left in charge the night after the incident. As Morgan's condition deteriorates, Sally's partner, Charles, grows increasingly concerned. A series of alarming doctorsâ visits spiral into a nightmare when authorities are alerted and fingers start pointing at Alyssa. Will Sally come forward and risk losing everything, or will she try to maintain the illusion of being a perfect motherâeven if it means someone else takes the blame?
Shaken explores the intense, often unspoken, struggles of new motherhood and the complexities of human fallibility, raising an unsettling question: Does one irreversible mistake define you forever?
Perfect for fans of Jodi Picoult, Lisa Jewell, and Freida McFadden.
When Sally unexpectedly becomes a mother at twenty, she tries her best to build a stable life for her son, Morgan. But the sleepless nights, overwhelming isolation, and relentless cries wear her down until she breaks, and in a moment of desperation, she does the unthinkable: she shakes her baby. Consumed by guilt and fear, Sally buries her actions beneath a facade of normalcy, but the cracks are beginning to show.
Enter Alyssa, the teenage babysitter, who is left in charge the night after the incident. As Morgan's condition deteriorates, Sally's partner, Charles, grows increasingly concerned. A series of alarming doctorsâ visits spiral into a nightmare when authorities are alerted and fingers start pointing at Alyssa. Will Sally come forward and risk losing everything, or will she try to maintain the illusion of being a perfect motherâeven if it means someone else takes the blame?
Shaken explores the intense, often unspoken, struggles of new motherhood and the complexities of human fallibility, raising an unsettling question: Does one irreversible mistake define you forever?
Perfect for fans of Jodi Picoult, Lisa Jewell, and Freida McFadden.
Day one: Friday, September 7
Sally knew she wasnât supposed to shake a baby. She saw the message everywhereâon pamphlets, brochures, in baby books, on posters prominently displayed at the doctorâs office. Who could miss it? This was a problem for social services. Theyâd come and take Morgan away. Theyâd tell her she was a bad mother.
But youâd see doting fathers playfully tossing their babies around, flipping them over their shoulders, swinging them in circlesâaround and around, the babies dizzy with glee. That was no crime. Even Charles played rough with Morgan. Heâd saunter down the hall, holding Morgan upside down by his ankles, letting him swing like a pendulumââWhereâd Morgie go? Have you seen him?ââwhile Morgan exploded into a fit of giggles.
Had she crossed the line?
Morgan lay in his crib now, curled on his side, snug in his Winnie- the-Pooh sleep sack, his thumb resting between lax lips. Fast asleep, although his breathing sounded labored. Didnât it? Was that a sign? Or could he just be congested?
She wanted to shake him awake, to make sure he was all right, to make him laugh.
But maybe it was too late. Maybe she caused damageâbrain damage. Like sheâd read in the newspaper the other day, that dad who attacked his toddler with a baseball bat. She couldnât understand how any parent could do that, how anyone could hurt their baby. And yet, here lay little Morgan, her sweet boy, in pain. She knew he was hurting.
It had started with another screaming fit, Morgan wailing nonstop for no apparent reason. She tried everything. She gave him his favorite ball. His Elmo. She turned on âWheels on the Busâ and sang along. She squatted and quacked like a duck, jumped like a wild chimpanzee, crawled on all fours, and barked like a dog. He stared at her and continued to howl for hours. Hours!
Then she snapped.
âShut up!â
He paused, taking in a sharp inhale, his face red and splotchy and
dripping with tears. Then he tilted his head back, opened his mouth wide, and let loose another ear-splitting shriek.
âStop! Stop! Stop!â Sally repeated, her voice rising higher and higher.
She needed him to be quiet for just one second. Sheâd only gotten around three hours of sleep last night. Head buzzing, she furiously rubbed her eyes, trying to think straight.
The cat meowed and pawed and licked at the dirty stack of dishes. The washing machine whirled and clanked from down the hall. A cockroach scuttled across the carpet. The TV blasted âIf Youâre Happy and You Know it.â Her phone rang and vibrated like it was having a seizure on the counter.
In one quick swoop, Morgan was in her arms. âShhh, please stop crying. I need you to stop.â It was just a little shake, a warning: Please stop. Please let mommy have a break. Please let mommy think. Please please please pleasepleasepleaseplease.
But Morgan didnât stop. He screamed even louder, snot sputtering into his open, wailing mouth. Her heart pounded, sweat pooled under her arms, her legs weakened.
She thought of carrying him downstairs, exiling him to the basement again. Last time sheâd left him down there for several hours, alone in his playpen with only a bottle of milk and his Elmo. She hadnât known what to do during that time. Sheâd sat on the couch, stared at the wall, then studied the checkered blue and white squares on her socks. It had been quiet. Unusual, eerie. But quiet. Really quiet.
And when sheâd finally gone to retrieve him, he was quiet. Morgan was quiet. Red-faced, teary-eyed, exhausted quiet. Had he screamed and cried and protested in the dank, musty basement? Sally had no idea. She didnât set up a baby monitor, she didnât even leave the door cracked open.
Charles recently asked about the playpen in the basement. Simple answer: She was storing it there. He shrugged his acceptance. He didnât investigate. He didnât ask why it remained set up, with a sheet inside.
Something about the playpen made her feel guilty. Later, after heâd mentioned it, she wrestled it into the basementâs storage closet, shoving it against the caked bottles of cleaning supplies and moldy mops, leaning her body into the door until it latched shut. Out of sight, out of mind.
She even contemplated getting rid of it, hauling it over to Goodwill. But in the end, she couldnât. Because every time Morgan had one of his animalistic episodes, she needed a way out. A moment of peace.
But today, with Morganâs face inches from her own, she hadnât made it to the basement. Instead, she grasped her baby firmly under his armpits, his legs kicking and arms waving in fury. Just a little over one year on this planet and he already had that much vigor and defiance in his lungs, in his limbs, in his soul.
âI said stop. Stop. Stop! STOP!â Sally screamed so loud her throat hurt and her ears rang. She squeezed her eyes shut and when she opened them, Morgan was completely silent, his head hanging limply to one side, his eyelids fluttering to stillness. She hadnât even realized sheâd been shaking him. And now he was quiet.
But not the good kind of quiet.
âOh God,â she gasped. âOh my God. My baby.â She needed to call 911. Should she do mouth-to-mouth?
She pressed her ear to his chest and held her breath. She heard a ragged, gasping soundâhe was breathing! She exhaled, then quickly carried him down the hall to his room, changed his soggy diaper, stroked his forehead, zipped him into his soft sleep sack. She clutched him to her chest, his head nestled in the crook of her neck. She paced, waiting, wondering what to do next. She longed for him to howl again. Her stomach twisted.
Sheâd hurt Morgan. What would she tell Charles? What would they do with her?
He just needs sleep, she told herself. Sleep will make everything better. She placed him in his crib, tucking his tattered Elmo under his arm. His breathing was raspy, but steady. She watched him for several minutes, her knuckles gripping the edge of the crib, before forcing herself away.
She stumbled down the basement stairs, tripping over an old tennis racket and Charlesâs bowling bag. She yanked open the door to the storage closet. Morganâs playpen filled almost every inch of the space. She shouldâve brought him down here, let him scream his heart out, and then heâd be exhausted, angrily exhaustedâbut still conscious.
After crawling into the creaky playpen, she tugged the door shut. It was tight, but she fit, curled into a ball. It was dark and still and quiet.
So very quiet.
Her own sobs finally broke the silence as she cried herself to sleep.
Sallyâs son Morgan is fourteen months old but still screams and cries like a colicky newborn. One night, sleep-deprived and at the end of her rope, Sally shakes Morgan. Noticing the immediate change in his demeanor, she panics. But instead of calling 911 or even calling her partner, Charles, she calls the babysitter and picks up an extra shift at work. As she tries to conceal her sonâs condition from Charles and medical staff, Sally grapples with wanting to run away from her problems and wanting to pass the blame onto the teenage babysitter, Alyssa.
Shaken is a bold debut novel. Addressing a highly triggering subject with a detestable main character, Jill Amber Chafin has written a compelling domestic thriller. Sally, who is only 21 years old, lacks the maturity and moral aptitude to take responsibility for her actions. Rather than seeking immediate help for her son, like a child, she puts him to bed and just hopes the problem will go awayâout of sight, out of mind. And when itâs clear that she canât hide it any longer, she implicates a teenager of hurting her son. Shaken examines dark psychological aspects of motherhood that are not discussed nearly enough in popular culture. As despicable as Sally is, the narrative is extremely compelling and maintains a fast pace, full of action and twists. Knowing a family whose 10-month-old was shaken by a daycare provider and the devastating permanent deficits of shaken baby syndrome, my heart was aching, desperate for Morgan to get the healthcare he deserved and for his abuser to be brought to justice. With investigators also suspecting Alyssa and Charles, the tension remains high as everyone is desperate to clear their name.
While Shaken obviously deals with a very triggering topic, it is extremely well-written and I highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys domestic thrillers. When authors are brave enough to write about subjects that are deeply unsettling, it forces us to confront these issues and recognize how common they are. The more we address child abuse, medical neglect, and shaken baby syndrome, resources can be made more readily available to struggling parents.