Chapter 1
Freedom from Fear
This book is for all you beautiful ladies out there. Let me introduce myself. I’m Anna, and I’m a mother, a creative designer, an author, and a mindset coach. I want to inspire women and help them find their inner power. I want them to shine like the brightest stars in the universe. It’s time for us to have faith in ourselves and to take that leap in the dark. If you can be the best mother, friend, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, coworker and work as well as take care of a home and raise your children, then you can definitely step up to the platform, and move to the next level, because with hard work and by sticking to your goals, you are going to soar like you never did before.
I am bringing you into my world and I will share my story with you to simply make the point that we have all faced trauma, setbacks, confusion, and fear in our lives. I will also share the stories of some incredible women who have opened up their hearts to inspire and encourage you. The first story is mine and how I faced suicide, rape, molestation, being without a place of my own, divorce and an array of other challenges. Yvonne shares her story of how she watched her mother suffer. Patricia was a young mother and bullied. Michelle’s role model was her single mom who raised three children on her own and still lives life to the fullest. Maria started her own nonprofit organization to celebrate birthdays for the forgotten souls. Then we have Stacy who faced cancer at a young age and the challenges.
Our goal is to help you build up your self-confidence and courage. We want you to feel valued and worthy. We want to help you move forward instead of hesitating every time you try to make that move towards your dream. We want you to see that you have it in you to do whatever you want in life.
We have faced so many challenges during these unprecedented times. COVID19 has affected so many lives and impacted the world in countless ways. It’s as if we have been cast out into the open sea to fend for ourselves.
Despite the widespread suffering, for some people, the virus has given them a new perspective on their lives or taken them towards a positive new horizon. I am proof of this, as like so many other people, during the pandemic, I have done so much soul searching. I knew before in my heart that there was something more out there for me. I knew life was too short but living through such an extraordinary time has made me embrace it more than ever. And now, I wake up every morning, knowing that the day ahead is going to be a real gift simply because I am alive. None of us know when our time will come, so why, I have asked myself, do so many of us procrastinate when it comes to following our dreams? Why is it that we are only kind to those who suffer when we should be kind to everyone? Why is it that when someone we care about passes away, it is only then that we regret not spending more time with them? Why can’t we make time for the important people in our lives now? Do it now - or at least make that phone call to say hello or to even write a letter. During quarantine, I started writing cards to those I love. I wanted them to know that even though I don’t see them often or keep in touch as much as I should, that they are always in my thoughts.
Ladies, we are living on borrowed time! This day is a gift. So, start today and make the best of the time you have left by filling it with love and laughter; be there for the people you care about, and those who need help. Start rethinking your life. If you have a dream of doing something different then do it.
I always live life with appreciation. I love helping those in need, especially people who are held back by a lack of self-confidence or a fear of moving forward. Making a difference in someone else’s life gives me such a sense of fulfillment. I've realized that I want to help women to overcome some of their self-doubt, fear, and lack of confidence. I want to steer them in the right direction. Especially mothers who often feel undervalued and belittled for all the hard work they do to keep the house in order, raise kids, keep their schedules, be the chef, the cleaner, and the doctor all because it’s not monetary. And still, we often feel so unappreciated when really, we should feel like the damn CEO of our establishment! I borrowed this statement from my friend Michelle, which you will read about.
You see, ladies, I know what it’s like to be scared to follow your dream. I used to be afraid too, and I had absolutely no confidence in myself. I didn’t feel smart enough. But I have had enough of all that self-doubt, the fear, and constantly hesitating to make that move. I am tired of not being financially independent; I am tired of having to watch what I spend; I am tired of living paycheck to paycheck, and I am tired of living off my credit cards. But most of all, I am tired of hearing that I don’t contribute enough, because being a mother and / or working isn’t enough. These are words that I hear from so many women, especially mothers. I too have been subjected to some of these messages, these feelings, and its bullshit because parenting is the hardest and most stressful (yet rewarding job) in the world. Well, I for one, have had enough of it all being thrown back in our faces. It’s time that we took full control of our own lives and our finances.
I want to be able to buy my own cars, to buy my own homes, and to have the financial freedom to travel and vacation with my beautiful family and friends. Does this sound like you? I want to start a charity foundation to give out scholarships, help animals, give back to those in need and make an impact on their lives, and that is why I want to help women step up to the platform and live their dream. If this is you, then keep reading.
We all have dreams and many of us set goals, but sometimes life gets in the way, and we lose focus and poof, and before you know it, there goes your dream right out the window. Have you ever been on a high and everything is going well for you and then suddenly someone says something negative or you’re driving, and someone cuts you off, and it just ruins your day? Then you find yourself replaying the incident over again in your mind, and that instant replay only brings on more bad feelings. So, what do you do when you start to feel all that toxic energy circling around you? How do you cope when you have that horrible knot in your stomach? I flip the switch! I pick myself back up, and I find something that will make me feel happy and align myself to my beautiful soul. Trust me, when your soul is happy, everything goes well for you. The truth is that you can’t be angry and happy at the same time. I love to dance, so I turn the music up. You should try it! One of my favorites is Jump Around by House of Pain.
Feel the rhythm, awaken your soul, experience the joy, and cry if you want. Feel that positivity deep inside you. And while you’re dancing, I want you to say to yourself that you are worthy, you are love, you are amazing, you are dazzling, you can do it. Hug your children, your partner, family members, friends, and your pets. Don’t be afraid of showing your love and appreciation, it will come back to you - but you must believe in yourself first, and the positive energy around you. You must change the way you think, and never give up on your true self. Because you have a beautiful person inside who has been waiting to surface.
If you have a dream of starting your own business, or you want to pursue a career path that you have always wanted to take, then what’s getting in your way? I can tell you exactly what’s stopping you. It’s one of the biggest words that stand out for everyone. FEAR! We all feel fear even the most successful people in the world. But the difference between them and us is that they do it anyway. They push through that fear. They make that decision that will change their lives. They take those deep breaths, and they run for it. It’s their true desire. It’s a burning sensation that’s within them. They are relentless. You have it too!
Ladies, fear is a powerful emotion that gets in our way. It stops us from living. So, we need to change our way of thinking and start creating goals that will lead us to that next level in our lives. Stop letting people tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. If you want to be happy, then isn’t following your dream going to achieve that? Isn’t that going to help impact other peoples’ lives? It’s time to pull out the gift that God, the Universe or whoever you follow, gave you. Stop living behind the scenes. Start living the dream and not the vision. Get on that stage and believe in the amazing you!
As I have said, once I was like you too. I was scared to follow my dreams. When I was very young I always wanted to be an actor, but I was too afraid to be on stage. I was even fearful about speaking in front of other people. Although I’m not an actor, there are days when I still dream of being in a Hallmark movie because, ladies, that is my favorite channel. I’ve been told that I’m a dreamer, but I honestly believe that life can be whatever you choose to make it. It’s you who decides how your life should be. I am not saying that unfortunate things don’t happen, because they do; it’s part of life. But if you can try to make it the best you can, and live it to the fullest, then why not? Hey, I have bad days too. There are days that I get this feeling of unbalance in myself. I can’t describe it, but I think you may have experienced it. You know when your stomach is in knots, and you feel all this negative energy around you, and you can’t figure out why and you can’t shake it off, or you start to get depressed for no reason. These feelings drive me crazy! So, when they creep up, I know I need to get a hold of myself and stop for a moment. First, I try and figure out what the hell is wrong and why I am I feeling that way. I have so much to be thankful for, and yet this negativity and depression can just appear. I’m sure plenty of you have felt it too, so let me share with you how I deal with these unwanted feelings. I quite simply stop what I’m doing, I pull myself together, and I start to take in several deep breaths and then I release each one slowly as I think of how other people around the world are suffering. I look around me and thank God for all my blessings. I begin to feel thankful for every breath I’m taking, for my family, my friends. The beautiful flowers that I can see and the abundance that I live in.
I have come to realize that the days I felt like this were the days that I didn’t give gratitude before I got out of bed. I always thank God for my beautiful home, my family, friends, and our perfect health, physically and mentally. I give thanks to all the soldiers, first responders, health care providers, and essential workers for risking their lives for our safety, health, and wellbeing (the last two I recently added when COVID19 surfaced uninvited, making its appearance worldwide). I give thanks for the animals that have been sacrificed for our benefit and I pray to St. Francis and ask that one day our animal friends will be treated with respect, given protection against abuse and neglect. I give thanks for all the trees and plants that have been sacrificed for our benefit. I thank our precious mother earth, for all that she endures, as she continues to give us everything that we need to live life to the fullest. I give thanks to all my friends and family. I give thanks to God, the spirits of the universe, and the spirits of the earth for all our blessings. I notice that when I give thanks and meditate for at least 20 minutes before I get out of bed, that I feel better and far more balanced. Maybe it is all in my head, but whatever it is, it works for me.
I have faced so many challenges in my life. I thank God now for the experiences because if I hadn’t experienced these difficulties, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. I am hoping that my book can help you rise from that chair, and to take a stand. Follow that dream, be strong and speak up for yourself. If it’s going back to school, then go. If you can’t afford to attend school, like many of us, then educate yourself. Of course, there are professions out there where you will need a college degree. I was fortunate enough to go back to college, but I have also taught myself a lot by reading self-development books, watching speakers on YouTube, and learning different software applications. I research everything that comes up in conversation. You should never stop learning. Feeding your mind with new and invigorating subjects or stories will give you the desire to learn more. Always read, listen, and watch anything that will help you to become a better version of yourself. You should always nourish your incredible mind. It thrives on constantly being challenged and learning new things.
We want you to follow that heart of yours. Know that you are loved, and especially from a higher power above or whatever you believe in. You may not see him or her, but you can feel them. This energy is everywhere. It’s within us, it’s our very soul. We are all one. Did you know that your mind is so powerful that you can start manifesting your dreams to a reality with just your thoughts alone? For example, have you ever thought of a song that you haven’t heard in a while and then you hear it sometime later or when you get this incredible idea to start a business of your own and you begin to see signs or opportunities leading you to that business? That is the power of your mind. So, learn to expand it, and try to start focusing on what you DO want rather than what you DON’T want. When you focus on what YOU DON’T WANT, that’s what appears in your life. Here is a powerful quote from Tony Robbins, an author, and motivational speaker “Where Focus Goes Energy Flows”. That is so true.
As well as increasing your self-confidence, it’s important to reprogram your mind and reset it to the present, so that you can focus on the goals you have set for your future. Hey, I get it. We all come across these invisible walls, self-doubt, or that inner voice. That is your doppelganger. We all have a doppelganger. I don’t know if any of you watched The Vampire Diaries, but my younger daughter, my son and I used to watch it all the time. Each vampire had a doppelganger, although they didn’t always show up in the show. You can think of your doppelganger as your evil side – you know, the one who tells you that you can’t move forward, that you’re useless, no good, and thinks of bad things to do. It brings back memories of when you doubted yourself or someone else did. That’s the one that you need to kick to the curb and say, “Hasta La Vista Baby.” We need to focus on your beautiful present and future, not the past. That’s over with. Don’t get me wrong; I have and will continue to discuss my past. The challenges I have faced have made me stronger and more understanding of people. We all have a story; we all have problems. You’re not alone. It’s okay if you don’t want to share your story. It’s yours to keep for life. I’m choosing to share mine with you because I want you to know that I understand you and that my life wasn’t always a garden of roses.
I may not be able to physically communicate with every one of you, but please know that you are in my prayers. I am trying to give you the courage and self-belief that you may need. Ladies, you may not realize this, but we are strong. We are very compassionate, nurturing, intelligent, and loving women. I am not excluding men. I know so many men who are true gentlemen who care so deeply for people and give in abundance. They have great respect for women. I love them; I have learned a lot from them. But I am writing this book for the beautiful ladies out there because many of you need encouragement, and a cheerleader to cheer you on, someone to tell you that “You got this!” and yes, we may fail along the way but that is our way of learning and making us stronger; appreciate the work that went into getting to your goal, building your confidence and bask in the sun of your glory.
We all need the moral support to hold each other up. When we feel the confidence surface from within, we can do anything we set our minds to. Who said you can’t be an entrepreneur or an actress or a teacher, or whatever else it is that you want to be? The first story that I introduce is my own It’s a short memoir, I can’t recall the exact words or what was what. However, I do recall what happened, as these traumatic events changed the course of my life.
