My Dad, also called Pat, was diagnosed with dementia several years ago. Over the last couple of years my Mum’s health has deteriorated from a physical perspective and she now has no mobility and suffers from a deal of pain. I live with my parents and am the main carer for them both, having retired early from my job in finance. The journey we are on since Dad was diagnosed with dementia is very much a family affair for Dad, my Mum Margaret, my sister Donna and my brother Steven.

As a carer for Dad I know how difficult both physically and emotionally dementia can be for both the person who has it and close family particularly those who are carers day to day. Relationships can be strained but also strengthened and I truly believe that love conquers all. Despite the pain, the dementia journey can still provide gifts of memories that will last forever.

It is true to say that no one person’s dementia journey is exactly the same as anyone else’s and it is also true to say that family members who are carers can go through moments of emotional despair when nothing they try to do seems to work.

Very often family carers are forced to learn as they go. My nature in times such as these leads me to dip into books by professionals with experience and knowledge of dementia to see if I can find anything to help me. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. Often books can be quite long and time to research on the other hand very short. It was only by chance that I saw on-line some quotes about dementia and these really hit the mark with me. They were succinct and seemed to understand what I was going through. Researching these a bit further I found that many quotes by people who either had dementia or experience of it with a family member had a clarity at both an emotional level and also in terms of giving much needed advice. They were also very easy to read often providing simple lessons from short poems, quotes or songs.

Having never written a poem in my life before suddenly I started writing poems, the first time being in the middle of the night. I found that they helped me by putting down on paper how I was feeling including my emotions and helped me better reflect on and better understand certain situations. Being a carer I find to be a constant process of learning and trying to do things better.

Over time as I wrote more poems, usually early in the morning, I started to think that perhaps some of the things I learned from our dementia journey may be of some small help to others on the same journey or who are about to start it. Poetry seemed to me to be a good way to provide it with fairly short poems often with a simple message.

Much of the advice I have picked up over the years I wish I had received much earlier in the journey. This book is essentially a book of poems which are heartfelt and some of which were very emotional for me writing them, which I hope you will enjoy and empathise with.

At the same time I hope that this book will be an easy read and may help others avoid some of the pain and emotional stresses I know I suffered. I do hope there are one or two nuggets in the book that will be helpful to you at some stage of your journey.

In terms of the poems in this collection therefore, I would describe them as:

Poems for me

Poems for you

Poems about the dementia journey our family is going through

Poems with our feelings

Poems with our thoughts

Poems with reflections on the dementia bigger picture too

I should also add that I will receive no payment for any time or effort in writing the book and that all my royalties from the sales of this book will go to Alzheimers Research UK, the world’s largest dedicated dementia research charity, in the hope that it will go some way to helping find a cure which I am sure is the common wish of us all.

The final section of this book invites you to write a poem both for your own benefit but also to raise additional funds to support dementia charities. I hope you will give it a go.

Sample Poem from perspective of my Dad:

Hold on to me

When I can’t find my way, hold on to me

When I am lost, hold on to me

When we are in crowds, hold on to me

When we are alone, hold on to me

When I am unsteady on my feet, hold on to me

When I just need a seat, hold on to me

When I forget who people are, hold on to me

When I forget who you are, hold on to me

When I can’t see things properly, hold on to me

When I get things wrong, hold on to me

When I get angry and shout, hold on to me

When I forget what it’s all about, hold on to me

When it’s time to go to bed, hold on to me

When it’s time to get up, hold on to me

When I am scared, hold on to me

Forever and always Dear Dad, I’ll hold on to you

But one thing I ask please Dear Lord, anchor me.