Kelly Turner has always had internal struggles of being a plus-size woman for the majority of her life in Chicago. The men she encountered throughout her dating life have always left an impression on her but she had enough of them. She decided to move from her hometown for a much needed change. Little does she know, how many eyes would be on her in Dallas.
Kelly Turner has always had internal struggles of being a plus-size woman for the majority of her life in Chicago. The men she encountered throughout her dating life have always left an impression on her but she had enough of them. She decided to move from her hometown for a much needed change. Little does she know, how many eyes would be on her in Dallas.
"Whew", I knew pulling this mattress out of the box was going to be a pain but DAMN, I should have taken up that offer from the delivery guy even though he was staring at my chest and butt. I guess my natural DD works in my favor⌠sometimes. That is one thing guys like about my body. And oh yeah, I have a pretty face for plus size girl. I sighed and shook myself out of my thoughts and continue. I got the mattress into place finally and cut open the plastic and watched how the mattress expanded, hoping it was as comfortable as it said it was, as I needed a good nightâs sleep. Moving across the country was exhausting to say the least. Getting away from my past and starting at this new firm was the best thing for me. I needed to be a better me. I just wished I wasnât doing it at the beginning of summer.
After days of unpacking and feeling the need to go on vacation, it was the first day at my new firm, May & Jones Law Group. I was the attorney in the family law division. Dressed in my typical pants suit with my natural hair pinned up, I started to wear makeup but not too much. As I entered the office building, I met the young receptionist.
âHello, my name is Kelly Turner, Iâm the new attorney.â The receptionist looked me up and down as if she pitied me, then looked at her screen. She then adopted a professional tone and smile and said, âWelcome. Follow me. She took me to the managing attorney of my department, Tiffany Jefferson, who also happened to be a black woman. She was confident, pretty and, of course, skinny. I had nothing but respect for her. I was introduced and she went over the normal first day things and took me to my office. Being in Dallas, I couldnât help but look out the window. So new and fresh no telling what will happen.
Tiffany introduced me to my fellow colleagues. There was Tim who looked like he was about to have a breakdown at any moment. Then there was Megan who looked like she clearly came from a privileged life. Lastly, there was Miguel. What you can say butâŚ. damn! There just had to be one. His confident aura flowed from him with ease. He knew he was âFINEâ, and that was always the downfall â at least to me. Miguel had dimples, brown eyes and smooth light brown skin. Judging by the muscles bulging underneath his suit you could tell he worked out every day. When Tiffany introduced us, Miguel stuck out his hand with a smile. It was a firm shake.
âI hear you are from Chicago, is that right?â
âYes,â I smiled. âBorn and raised.â I wonder what else has been said about me?â, I said with a chuckle.
âOh, not much. Just that you are good at what you do.â
âWell, now it is time for you to meet your legal assistant,â Tiffany said. I nodded and looked back at Miguel while starting to walk away. He looked at me up and down with a smirk on his face.
I returned to my office where I found a professional-looking black woman already standing there. With a big smile on her face she said, âHi, Iâm Rochelle, your legal assistant.â
 âI will leave you guys to it and remember the meeting is at 11,â Tiffany said.
As I discussed work items with Rochelle, she leaned over and said, âIâm happy to see another black woman here.â
I laughed and replied, âIâm happy to not be the only black person here.â After that, I knew we would get along.
Days later, as the weekend approached, Rochelle asked if I had any plans. When I told her, it was âjust me and workâ, Rochelle looked disappointed and said, âGirl, get out and make some friends, itâs more to life than work.â
âI know, I know, Rochelle. I will look into getting some friends,â I laughed. She was not wrong. As much as I missed my girls back in Chicago, I was no longer there. Back at home that evening I drew a bath. I was going to listen to music and try not to think for a little bit. But as I walked past my mirror, I could not help but see my stomach and rolls of flesh. Now that I was in my thirties, my stomach was no longer flat, and my muffin top had gotten a little bigger. And donât get me started on my flabby arms. Thirty-four wasnât so nice as I was heading towards a size 18. After the bath, I felt more relaxed and switched on my computer. My legal assistantâs words were echoing in my head. I thought I would try some sites that organized gatherings for new people in town. I looked through some of them and decided on the wine and paint gathering. I realized that with my new salary I could afford more things now that student loans werenât making me so stressed. I clicked on a site that I knew I needed to go to but was dreading⌠the gym. I knew I would not be the skinny type but at least I could be healthy. New city, new job, and new me. I signed up for the pass and planned on starting with a trainer the following weekend. I did some work and watched some Netflix and went to sleep.
On Saturday morning, I went to the grocery store as I did not have anything in the apartment. There was only so much take out one could order. When I returned home, I did some work, then saw a familiar notification pop up. It was a message from my bestie Ariel. We talked for a bit realizing we getting old as we are reminiscing about all we use to do and realized I couldnât just go over to hers like I used to. It reminded me of what my younger days were like with her.
* * *
Chicago- Summer of 2000
I was spending the day at my best friendâs house on the south side of Chicago where we both lived. Enjoying my summer before high school. Sitting on her steps, we gossiped about people we knew. Ariel, who I had known since I could remember, was my best friend. She was one of the sweetest girls, but you wouldnât want to cross her. She was the type of girl who always had my back. Also, she was also very pretty and physically developed for a girl of thirteen, but skinny. I was developed too but definitely not skinny â I had meat on my bones. The boys were crazy about Ariel, but I was always just âthe friend.â
As we walked to the bus stop to catch the 95th Street bus to Evergreen Plaza, a boy tried to talk to Ariel. Ariel brushed him off but, in true Chicago fashion, the boy kept trying the whole ride. It was a typically busy day at the mall, which was filled with all the pre-teens and teenagers who would hang out and there or at Ford City Mall on Cicero.
We walked into one of the entrances and started walking past stores. There was one store I wanted to pass by because of this one guy I had a huge crush on. His family attended the same church as mine and we went to the same elementary school, but he was a couple of grades ahead of me. He was tall, light-skinned and had the sexiest smile. He was also nice and confident. Whenever I saw him at the mall he would wave and I would wave back and smile, but I kept it moving because thatâs what weâre supposed to do right? The guy is supposed to step up to you. Well, for me that never happened. Even when a guy talked to me it was to see if I could pass their number to Ariel. Even when there were a group of guys, I was just the friend to be nice to. Throughout elementary school I had crushes but being a predominantly white school, I was attracted to white boys, which proved to be a total failure as I did not exist in their eyes. The popular girls, especially the white skinny ones, pulled all the boys.
Even at the church functions, I remember when I was a teenager; people would tell one of my close friends (who was also skinny) how nice she looked but would never say that to me. This came from the women of the church. They would say, âHey Ana, that dress looks cute on you.â They would say hi to me and move on. I had five disadvantages: one, I was black; two, I was not skinny; three, I was an introvert; four, my religious upbringing. And lastly, I lacked confidence.
New City New Me follows Kelly Turner as she flees her hometown after a disastrous breakup to find a new beginning in Dallas. There is particular emphasis on the main character being a shy plus-sized black girl with her very conservative religious upbringing. While this is great for character context I felt this defined who Kelly was throughout the book and all her interactions were compared against her outer appearance instead of who she really was as a person.Â
We get some insights into Kellyâs past which briefly explains her struggles with self-esteem based on past body shaming but she is constantly showered with positive male affection throughout the novel and her various relationships and I was waiting for the cathartic moment where she realizes she was enough, where she was good enough and it never came.Â
My major issue with this book has to be the writing, the dialogue felt very stiff and monotone and at times I was waiting for some much-needed comical relief. If I see the word âbabeâ one more time I think I will scream. While I think this story has potential I do believe the main character needs more character development and the plotline could be tightened up a bit to highlight the flashback moments.Â
I received a copy of the book from the author and Reedsy Discovery in exchange for an honest review.