The aliens came to Earth bearing a threat and an offer. We must cease and desist all use of the name Miss Universe for our pageants. But, in a gesture of good faith, Earth is invited to send one candidate to compete in the real Miss Universe pageant on a planet thousands of light years away. Karly Matthews, a renowned geneticist, is chosen to accompany Earthâs delegate and train her in the skills she will need to survive an interplanetary competition. But, as mishaps mar the journey, Karly learns that the greatest threat to Earthâs place among the intergalactic community isnât the cadre of bizarre aliens, but humans themselves.
The aliens came to Earth bearing a threat and an offer. We must cease and desist all use of the name Miss Universe for our pageants. But, in a gesture of good faith, Earth is invited to send one candidate to compete in the real Miss Universe pageant on a planet thousands of light years away. Karly Matthews, a renowned geneticist, is chosen to accompany Earthâs delegate and train her in the skills she will need to survive an interplanetary competition. But, as mishaps mar the journey, Karly learns that the greatest threat to Earthâs place among the intergalactic community isnât the cadre of bizarre aliens, but humans themselves.
âI am an adjunct unit sent to planet Earth on behalf of Infinity Entertainment Conglomerate and the Unified Confederation of Systems to demand that you hereby immediately cease and desist all use of the title Miss Universe in relation to any pageant or other merit-based competition. However, in the spirit of cooperation, you are invited to enter one contestant into the real Miss Universe Pageant to be held in the Moonphase Amphitheater on planet Infinity One in forty-five daysâ time.â
Karly Matthews had memorized the Message the first time she heard it played a week earlier on the news. Her father had ensured that she and her sister Beth grew up properly schooled in the science fiction classics: Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, Star Wars and Karly had often entertained the notion that perhaps her work in genetics would somehow extend her familyâs life long enough to actually witness contact with alien intelligence. And here she was, alive to hear Earthâs first communication from another intelligent civilization - an invitation to a beauty pageant.
But now she entered her third hour of waiting at the Colorado Convention Center, squinting away the sun (her long-time nemesis)âs relentless assault through her meager defenses, reflecting off of nearby windows and upward from the white pavement below. Karly didnât remember when she had last ventured out into the midday light as her normally loose-fitting striped pastel dress clung to her body with sweat. She finished counting the people in line ahead of her for the fifth time that day. Counting always soothed her, helped make sense of the world, and this was a world she needed all the help she could get to understand.
âLook at all these girls,â she said. âTheyâre so young andâŠput together. I doubt any of them have ever eaten a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch out of a Pyrex dish before.â The crowds were dressed in a wide array of clothing - some sweating it out in evening gowns and expertly applied makeup, while others came clad in the stringiest of bikinis. While most were slender, all shapes were represented, baring as much skin as they dared. Karly envied them their confidence. She would have described her hips as too wide, her eyes as too closely set, her skin too pasty, and her hair tooâŠbrown. She had pinned it up for the audition, but that was the first time she had âdoneâ anything with it since a promising first date several months ago. Her hand instinctively drifted to her nose, feeling where it was slightly off kilter where her sister Beth had accidentally broken it while roughhousing as teenagers.
âDonât sweat it,â Mikael said, âseveral of these women are old like you.â
If Karly was offended by the barb, she showed no sign of it as she glanced uncertainly at the collection of women around them. âI have socks older than some of these girls.â
âOkay, first, ew! And second, so what?â Mikael said, shrugging and glancing ahead of them in line with his perpetually bored eyes. âYouâre as pretty as any of them.â
Karly snorted. âThat wasnât true fifteen years ago when I was their age, and it sure isnât true now.â She regarded one red-haired girl ahead of them in line, with her soft skin and full, wry smile. âLook at her. If I was designing the perfect human specimen, that would be it.â
âWell,â replied Mikael, âitâs a good thing you arenât in charge of genetics, because then weâd all be skinny bitches.â
âI am in charge of genetics,â she said with a smirk.
âThen weâre all screwed. Besides, do you really think aliens are hosting a contest to find who looks the most like Heidi Klum circa 2005? You think thereâs gonna be a space-swimsuit competition? They probably look like Lhasa Apsos or umbrellas for all we know so far.â
Karly pressed her lips to one side pensively, sighed and said, âWhat I think is that an advanced civilization whoâve mastered intergalactic travel and artificial intelligence understand the meaning of the words used in their first message to Earth. And the term âpageantâ has a specific meaning in English with certain connotations. And I doubt those certain connotations are for someone who can put away half a gallon of ice cream in two sittings.âÂ
Mikael looked down his long, straight nose at her. âThen why are we here?â he asked.
Karly sighed. âBeth made me promise to do this. She said there was no one better suited to represent Earth than me, and idiot that I am, I believed her.â Perfect Beth, Karlyâs older sister with her raven-black hair, smooth skin, and piercing blue eyes. Beth, who had represented the great state of Ohio in the Miss America Pageant twenty years before and still today would have turned any head away from these young beauty queens.
Mikael chortled. âYeah, Beth has a way of doing that.â His face softened and he asked, âHowâs she doing, by the way?â
Dying, Karly thought, but she nodded and said, âGood. The physical therapy is going as well as can be expected.â Otherwise, sheâd be in this line sweating her ass off instead of me. âShe said it would be good for me, but Iâm starting to think Iâm old enough where wholesale humiliation is no longer character-building.â
Mikael looked around and nodded. âWell,â he said, âif you think that theyâre looking for someone whoâs fashion conscious, that dress was a bold move.â
Karly frowned down at her clothes. âWhatâs wrong with my dress?â
âOkay, whenâd you buy it?â
âIâŠwell, never mind.â
âMmm hmm.â
âWell, why didnât you help me pick out a better one?â she hissed, trying to keep her voice soft enough to not be overheard.
âWhat makes you think I want to go dress shopping?â he asked, raising an accusatory eyebrow.
âNoâŠâ Karly started, but it was too late.
âBecause Iâm gay?â Mikael pressed.
âI didnât say that.â
âPlease. I played linebacker for a ranked college programâŠâ
âI know.â
ââŠI have beaten the shit out of more than one dude. If it wasnât for the occasional, and I do mean occasional, sex with a man, Iâd be a Republican.â Her BFF was certainly big enough and fit enough to have competed athletically, even two decades past his game-day prime. Karly often chided Mikael for keeping two gym memberships, one at a cheap, locally owned place where he punished himself for an hour every morning before work. The second at an expensive uptown establishment with lightly used equipment that was more of a gay singles hook-up joint.
She shook her head, looking past him at all the people ahead of her in line. âDude, you own multiple cats.â
âOnly three!â
âYou once watched Steel Magnolias twice in one day.â
âI donât have to take this abuse, you know.âÂ
Karly grabbed his arm as if he might actually split. âNo, please. You canât leave me alone with all theseâŠkids.â
âYeah, well you owe me big for this,â Mikael said sharply, punctuated with a curt nod.
âOwe you?â Karly asked with a snort. âWhat about the time I went with you to that Bette Midler concert?â
âWhat? We both enjoyed that!â
âAnd the time I drove to Kansas City to pick you up because you got scammed on Craigslist?â She regarded him coldly.
âAnd we swore weâd never mention that again,â he muttered darkly. âSo, we can only do favors if some sort of payment is involved now?â
âYouâre the one who said I owed you!â she shouted, drawing a bunch of bemused looks from their neighbors.
Mikael grumbled something under his breath then said, âWhat do you think we have another couple of hours in this line?â
Karly shook her head. âAt the present rate, about thirty-seven minutes.â
âGod, youâre a dork. Hey, did you ever decide on what youâre going to do for the talent competition?â
Karly looked at her friend as if he had just sprouted tentacles. âUm, drums, of course.â
Mikael tried to stifle a wince, but Karly saw it. âWhat was that look?â
âThere was no look.â When she didnât stop glaring at him, Mikael continued on, âItâs that drums are soâŠclichĂ©. I think maybe you should do that thing where you recite pi out to like 5000 places. Theyâll dig that.â
âFirst of all, thatâs not a talent and secondly, I only have one minute. That takes hours.â
âOh,â he sighed. âMy mistake. Hey, move up,â gesturing ahead and changing the subject.
Thirty-seven minutes later they approached the front doors where a female handler with dark blonde hair wearing black pants and a black shirt directed people where to go. She handed Karly a clipboard with a blank information sheet attached and pointed to a staging area to fill it out and turn it in. She looked at Mikael and said, âGuests have to stay in the waiting area,â and directed him to a small alcove crammed with chairs where people sat glued to the news on the mounted television screen.
Karly frowned at her and then shrugged weakly, hesitant to lose sight of her lifeline. She didnât know if sheâd be able to hold up alone with her stage fright.
âActually, Iâm here to compete,â Mikael said, noticing Karlyâs flight instinct kicking in.
âSorry, no men,â she said. âItâs in the rules.â
He shrugged and looked at Karly. âWell, I tried.â
âUm, no,â she replied, addressing the guide, âYou canât discriminate on the basis of sex.â
âLook, itâs been a long day, and we still have plenty of people to get through. Youâll have to take it up with the sexist space aliens.âShe turned away from them and started to address others entering behind them.
Mikael nodded and took a step toward the waiting area.
âNo,â Karly said, stopping him. She had recently seen an interview on one of the news stations with a Constitutional lawyer who argued about discrimination laws with regard to the auditions. âThe Pageant may be only women,â she said, âbut whoâs paying for all of this?â Karly gestured all around. Without waiting for a reply, she plowed ahead. âThe Federal government, thatâs who. And Title VI prevents discrimination on the basis of sex for government funded functions, soâŠâ
âFine,â muttered the woman, slapping a clipboard into Mikaelâs stomach. âYouâre someone elseâs problem now. Have fun wasting your time.â
They both filled out their info sheets, which polled for information like highest educational level, skills, talents, allergies, phobias, motion sickness, and a host of other data. After that, the two were herded into a small conference room with a dozen long tables set up and chairs all facing one side. A row of matching computer monitors lined each table. There was no telling how much money went into setting all this up on such short notice.
A stocky male proctor at the front of the room waited until all the seats were filled and then launched into his prepared speech. âWhen I say start, you will follow the instructions on the monitor in front of you. This is a written test designed to gauge an assortment of both achievement and aptitude. When one hour has expired, I will tell you stop. But donât worry, itâs unlikely that anyone will complete the test in that time so donât rush. You may begin.â
The questions covered a myriad of topics, but most were math-based games and pattern recognition, something that might appear in an IQ test. After the first few questions, Karly settled into a comfort zone and lost herself in the challenge of the test, momentarily forgetting her audition jitters.
It started off simply enough. But with each passing answer, the questions became more challenging. By the end she was feeling good to have narrowed responses down to two choices and made educated guesses between those on numbers that just made logical sense. After clicking âsubmitâ to the last question, the screen prompted, âYou have 35 minutes remaining to complete this test. Would you like to review your answers?â Looking around, Karly noticed that Mikael had slipped out at some point, having apparently already turned his in, but no one else was finished. After making another pass though and double-checking some of the more involved word problems, she felt more confident with her choices until finally, she hit âsubmit.â She was the second one done in the room. Standing up, Karlyâs stomach tightened, realizing that the most enjoyable part of the audition was now behind her.
Mikael waited for her in the hallway. âWhat did you get for number 34?â she asked.
âC,â he replied.
Karly scrunched up her nose, perplexed. âYouâd suspend it in an alkaline solution? That doesnât seem right.â
Mikael shook his head, brow furrowed. âI put âCâ for all of them. You know Iâm not trying to win, right?â
âOh, right.â
They entered the auditorium, where two judges sat facing an elevated stage. As they approached the front of the sparsely populated audience, the two were serenaded by a stunningly gorgeous blonde woman in a red one-piece swimsuit singing a robust, but slightly off-key rendition of Mad World as she juggled three bowling pins.
Mikael watched for a few moments standing in the aisle then whispered, âSo this is what insanity feels like. I thought thereâd be more fish.â They found two open seats about midway to the stage. Karlyâs skin felt clammy as she watched her competition belt out her notes, dreading her inevitable number being called. Although the voice wasnât great, Karly found the womanâs confidence daunting.
When the singerâs minute was up, the judges thanked her and called up the next auditioner, a ballerina by the look of her. She wore dark pointe shoes, black leggings, and her hair was pulled into bun so tight it gave her a surprised expression. She introduced herself and her piece to the judges and began to dance.
Karlyâs fear matured with each pirouette, bubbling deep in her stomach and icing her skin. This wasnât her scene. These women were performers, and of course they would be. Earthâs representative needed to be the perfect specimen, not some lab jockey scientist who could still quote every word of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song.
She stood up and shuffled past Mikael, who whispered, âWhere are you going?â after her.
âIâm leaving,â she responded without slowing.
He followed her out into the foyer. âWhat are you doing? Youâre not giving up, are you?â
Karly shook her head. âThis isnât me. Iâm not one of these women, with their perfect hair and makeup. I canât even perform in front of twenty people, how am I supposed to do it for everyone on Earth? Thereâs no point.â
Mikael grabbed her shoulders and looked into her eyes as she avoided his. âHey, if you donât do this, youâre gonna regret this for the rest of your life.â
âI know. I just canât.â She turned away from his grasp and shuffled toward the front door, head downcast.
* * *
âWhat are you doing here?â Anoop asked from behind Karly at her workstation, making her jump. âSorry,â he said with his hands up and a wide white grin. Karly smiled back at her colleague, whose blue shirt was tightly tucked into pants that still drooped a little over his nonexistent butt despite the tightly cinched belt. His face was thin and sharp with large, white eyes and shiny jet-black hair. He was her best work friend and Karly had occasionally entertained the notion of having a crush on the accountant going on three years now, but as she understood it, his parents were traditional Hindus who were still holding out hope to having him arranged.
Normally, Karly liked his regular distractions, as he often found his way to her work area from accounting three floors above, but today she was feeling particularly introverted.
âI thought we were supposed to come in today, but I guess I was wrong,â she said, never taking her attention from the lines of genetic code on her screen. Other than a picture of her and Beth and another of her parents, her desk was adorned with random knickknacks, including but not limited to, a bobblehead of Jareth from the movie Labyrinth, a model of the Millennium Falcon and a double helix comprised of paperclips. The tan felt walls of her cubicle were lined with colorful images of fractals interspersed with photos of various Scottish castles.
âI think people are using up sick days to be with family and watch the news.â His words were spoken curtly and deliberately as if he were considering each one. âJust go. Banner wonât care.â
âNo,â Karly answered. âWorking is cathartic for me. Keeps my mind occupied. Besides, with the boss gone too, I can actually get some work done.â
Anoop nodded and stood, trying to fill the quiet space between them with something. âYou should go to one of those auditions,â he said finally.
âYeah,â Karly muttered.
âIâm serious. They seem to value math and science more than appearance.â
Karly glared sharply at him, making him take a steadying step backwards.
âThatâs not what I meant, I just mean that with your background in science, I think youâd really stand a chance.â
Karly shook her head and turned back to her work.
Anoop spoke faster, trying to repair the damage. âI donât mean that youâre notâŠI mean, youâd have everything theyâre looking for.â
âLook, thanks, âNoop. I know what youâre saying. I just need to get some of this work done. Aliens showing up doesnât pay the bills, you know?â
He nodded and looked around, searching for the words to make things right, but finally shook his head and quietly slinked away.
* * *
By the time Karly pulled into her driveway, it was nearly dark outside with only the faintest orange glow above the western mountains. There was one narrow clutter-free spot in her garage, and she had to be careful opening her door to avoid the stacks of old framed movie posters and bicycle that had gone unridden for almost five years, the rubber on its tires flat and cracked. Karly had worked later than normal, in part because the absence of distractions around the lab had helped her make progress on her gene mapping algorithm and in other part because she just wanted to avoid the fervor surrounding the Pageant which had permeated every other facet of life. It was impossible to escape coverage on television, the internet, or even conversations out in public. Her work was her catharsis. Of course, she wanted to go into space, to travel the universe and see things most people would kill to experience.Â
Her house was far larger than what she needed, and often seemed to swallow her when she arrived home after these late nights. Karly had bought the place four years ago, after she had felt comfortable enough with her job situation in Colorado Springs, thinking it made more financial sense than paying rent. Plus, part of her thought it might help attract a man to show that she was domestic and responsible, and that she made decent money. But moving into an affluent neighborhood only served to isolate her from younger, single people. People without children. The introvert in her had grown to enjoy that isolation, to embrace it, and now she found it difficult to break from her routine of home to work and back.
She tossed her keys onto the cluttered counter, where they clanged against some bottle or bowl that needed to be washed and put away. In the darkness, she stubbed her toe on the laundry basket from which she had been plundering clean clothes for the past three days instead of folding them and putting them away like a grownup. There were days at a time when she wouldnât even venture out of the cozy enclosure of the living room and kitchen area, opting to sleep on the sofa in front of the television instead of in her own bedroom. There could have been a squatter living in her third bedroom for the past six months and sheâd have no idea.
Before she had a chance to turn on a light, the doorbell rang, causing Karly to jump in surprise, in part because she thought it was later than it was. When she saw that it was only a little past eight, she relaxed, although dealing with another person here in her safe haven stressed her out. She knew it wasnât Mikael - he had a key.
She stood still, as if to evade a cinema tyrannosaurus, but it rang again. Whomever it was had likely seen her drive into the garage and knew she was home. With a sigh, Karly shambled to the front door and opened it after flipping on the porch light.
There, a rangy, pale man and a stocky black woman greeted her. Both wore plain dark suits, hers a deep gray and his, a black pinstripe. âGood evening,â the woman greeted her in a saccharine tone and practiced smile. She was older than Karly by several years, with soft, round cheeks and deep, sharp eyes that exuded a cold confidence. Her hair was pulled into a tight chignon that begged to be removed to form a more laid back-looking clone. The partner was overbearingly tall, but slight of build with a dour face like he hadnât smiled since Bill Clinton was impeached. âIâm Lucille Vega and this is Steve Trill; weâre with the State Department. I was wondering if we might speak with Karly Matthews.â Karly suspected the woman knew damn well who she was talking to and didnât need to resort to this overly polite fiction.
âIâm Karly.â
Lucille opened her mouth, thought for a second while looking past Karly into her house, then asked, âMay we come in?â
Shit, Karly thought, feeling her energy stores drain to critical levels. Now she wished it had been some idiot kid selling magazine subscriptions, even though she probably would have ended up buying several; the geneticist had little in the way of sales resistance. Telling someone ânoâ was too confrontational, too stressful. Karly hoped she did a passable job hiding her sigh as she gestured them inside. When she hurried into the den and flipped on a lamp, she winced as it revealed the disarray of the room. An open cereal box that may or may not have been empty stood on the coffee table. Clothes lay strewn about the furniture, some needing to be washed, others only worn once and ready to be smell-tested for a possible second use. She had a system for telling which was which that was about as complex as DNA sequencing.
âSorry, itâs been a little crazy around here, Ms. Vega,â she said as she snatched up the most offensive violators of orderly living in a bear hug and tossed them onto the hallway floor.
âCall me Lucy. And I understand.â Her voice so casual and comfortable it set Karly at ease like an old friend. âItâs been such a busy few days itâs hard to find time to do anything else but watch T.V,â Vega added. Karly nodded and scanned for other items to tidy up before sighing in resignation. âIâm sorry to intrude on you like this uninvited.â She was looking around the room curiously, without a hint of judgment, admiring each framed print and cheap Target wooden wall hanging as if it was hanging in the Louvre.
âHere, you can sit anywhere. Um, do you want anything to drink?â
Steve shook his head and grunted, but Lucy said, âSure, what do you have?â
The question caught Karly by surprise, and she stood there, hands on hips, breathing heavily, trying to think. âUm, water and probably box wine.â
âWaterâs great,â Lucy answered, still smiling.
Karly ambled off to the kitchen, rolling her eyes at the mess in there also and hoping they didnât feel the need to follow her in for any reason. She imagined the two of them giving each other knowing, judgmental smirks about the mess after she left the room.
Lucy called to her from the den. âWell, weâd like to speak with you in private. Is there anyone else here?â
âUm, no!â Karly decided to use a glass instead of her everyday blue plastic cups, filling it from the tap and summoning some ice cubes from the dispenser on her refrigerator door. What could the Feds want from her? The thought chilled her all of a sudden as she scrolled through potential laws she might have broken to summon the wrath of the government. It was then that Karly realized she wasnât quite sure just what it was that the State Department even did or had jurisdiction over.
She returned with the water and took a seat in her captainâs chair, an aqua-colored microfiber rocking recliner adorned with a few small food stains that Karly had sworn as recently as yesterday she was going to clean.
âWell, let me go ahead and get to why weâre here, Ms. Matthews. Weâd like for you to go to the Miss Universe Pageant as part of Earthâs delegation.â The silence between them was so complete the hum from the refrigerator seemed deafening. Lucy watched her expectantly, but Karly wasnât really sure of what sort of response such a statement warranted.
âOkaaay,â the geneticist said, drawing out the word like pulled taffy.
Lucy and Steve looked at each other, then Lucy said, âThereâs not really a follow-up. State has arranged for you to join the team being assembled to travel to the Pageant to help prepare our hopefuls for the competition. All expenses would be paid by us, of course.â She paused, waiting again for a reply from Karly, but none came. âMs. Matthews, weâre inviting you to take a trip on a spaceship into outer space and across the galaxy.â
Karly understood each individual word the woman was saying, but the sentences made no sense as cohesive whole. âI bailed on the audition,â she said finally, gesturing to her blank television screen.
Lucy waved a dismissive hand. âOh, those are just for show, mainly. We couldnât possibly entrust something this important to an open audition, although we do collect information from them like interests, availability, and of course the written test.â She locked her gaze onto Karly, and her smile turned more crafty than friendly. âWeâve targeted several candidates who meet the qualifications communicated to us by the alien emissary known as the Adjunct. Once he makes the final say, the two will be selected to take the journey, one primary and one a reserve in case of any mishap. But theyâreâŠâ
âMishap?â Karly interrupted.
Lucy waved a dismissive hand. âOh, you know, whatever. Maybe she gets cold feet or slips on a bar of soap in the shower and hits her head. Whatever. Weâre not anticipating any unreasonable dangers. Anyway, theyâre gonna need coaches to prepare them for some of the anticipated events. Thatâs where youâd come in. Based on your experience, education, and yourâŠremarkable scores on the, uh, written exam, we believe youâd make a valuable addition to the team.â
Karly narrowed her eyes then examined each of her guests in kind before speaking. âYou want me to coach our candidate? On what?â
âBased on the Adjunctâs information, thereâs a 94% probability that one of the pageant competitions will have something to do with applied sciences, often with complex mathematical application and often involving genetics. Our potential competitors are all highly intelligent and capable, but they will need training in the more cutting-edge theories to have any chance of moving on in the Pageant.â
âOkay, but why me? There are lots of geneticists out thereâŠout in academia and universities.â
Lucy nodded, tacitly cutting short the expressed reservations. âOur files indicate that you have an exceedingly high aptitude in math and science. You created a unique transcription-factor binding predictor using fractal-based formulas and Iâm told your article on novel mechanisms for genome regulation is groundbreaking.â
âI also do Sudoku,â Karly added with a nod.
Lucy smiled warmly. âThe events our contestants will be exposed to may represent knowledge and theory way beyond our understanding. We need to send someone who thinks differently, on another level; someone unorthodox who can prepare them for the unpreparable.â Vega paused and locked eyes with Karly. âYour country and your planet need you.â
Resisting rolling her eyes at the inspirational appeal was one of the most difficult tasks of Karlyâs life. âWhat if I donât want to go?â she asked, and she meant it. This was all so sudden. It was something that risk-takers did, people who had tattoos and had paddle boated before and who werenât slaves to patterns and routines, not people who had every episode of Dr. Who ranked by scientific accuracy. She had only auditioned for Bethâs sake in the first place. Was this her punishment for quitting and not fulfilling her promise?
Lucy said, âThen we go down the other names on our short list and find someone who does. I mean, weâre not gonna put a gun to your head.â
Karly thought for a moment. âWho else is on your short list? Carson? Branson from Cal Tech?â
âI donât recognize either of those names, so I guess the list just got a little longer.â Lucy paused long enough for Karly to be distracted by the sound of their own breathing, then with a sigh, said, âLook, if you donât want to go, you donât go. You go back to your job. You come back here. Then you go back to your job again then you come back here again. No big deal. In a few months, youâll watch a woman with little chance of winning a universal pageant take the stage anyway and forge the experience of ten billion lifetimes. And youâll feel a wave of pride in your planet that transcends petty national jingoism for Olympic games or World Cup soccer. Itâs a pride youâll share with every man, woman and child, criminal and hero the world over. And someday, when youâre old and retired and the small team of people who went on that journey take up an entire chapter in every history textbook from now until the sun swallows this planet whole, youâll look around and youâll ask yourself âwhat if?ââ
Karly sniffed and shook her head at the maudlin soliloquy, but then paused and realized that every word of it was truth. She had lived a safe, vanilla life. And this is where it had brought her - a nice, comfortable living, but no lasting achievements, no memories, no marks on the world, a phantom passing through, forgotten the next moment by everyone who crossed her path. She was a cog in a corporate machine.
âCan I have some time to think about it?â
Lucy stood up. âOf course. Itâs a big decision.â Steve started toward the door and Lucy followed.
âHow will I contact you to let you know what I decide?â
Lucy turned back to her then glanced at her wristwatch. âWeâll be right outside. You have five minutes.â
How generous, Karly thought as the two of them showed themselves out. She used up every tick of those five minutes.
Okay, donât be fooled by the title; this is true Science Fiction. Donât think, âMiss Congeniality.â Think âHitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy,â filled with thousands of alien races and myriads of inconceivable scientific and technical wonders.Â
But, rich in technological and social setting though the story may be, it is the characters that drive the plot. Karly, the heroine, is a fully rounded character more typical of normal Sci-Fi stories than beauty pageants. Her biggest asset is her brain, and the main information we have as to her physical beauty is heavily tempered by her inferiority complex.  As in all Heroâs Journeys, she makes a choice to step out of the mold and take on an adventure, and the story rolls from there.
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The supporting cast, especially the two beauty queens, are expected to be stereotypes. And they are (until suddenly they arenât, but that would be telling). The robots, androids and aliens that appear in rapid succession act pretty much like a wide variety of humans would, with all the failures, foibles, and drives of the human race.Â
There is plenty of wild and wonderful technology to keep hard-core Sci-Fi nerds happy, and the physical action is orchestrated to keep most action fans on the edge of their seats. Â
The tone of the novel is mostly light but not really humorous. There are no ROFL jokes, and the implausibility of the situation cannot be taken seriously. Except by Karly.  Despite the fantastic improbability of everything around her Karly takes it all seriously, and since we spend most of our time inside her head, we are drawn into the conflict as well, and her suspense is real to us. The few chapters with outside points of view serve to give us alternate looks at Karly.
On the down side, it is a highly introspective book, and readers expecting more outside action might find Karlyâs internal agonizingâŠwell, agonizing. Fans of chick lit and the lighter Literary Fiction will find it quite normal and fascinating.Â
This is a thoroughly enjoyable book that will reach out to a wider audience than the average Sci-Fi novel. Try it. Youâll like it.Â