The daughter of a god of death.
The child that shouldn't exist.
Nin’s mother had warned her to never go to the Flame Festival, for the gods have laws against her life. Now Nin is a grumpy, world-wary almost thirty-year-old midwife. Her mother has passed away and her best friend begs her to go to the festival.
She attends, only to have her fated flame match with the last god she ever wanted to lay eyes on, Amun-Ra. Her mother's patron god, the one person her mother begged to come heal her in her time of need. Nin despises his pompous priss face and his cocky attitude until she learns the limits of his power and the demons that plague him.
Nin must now survive the year. The one problem? Someone knows both of her parents. He can unravel her secret in a moment and send the justices after her, resulting in execution. Will Nin submit to the pull of the flames and make it to the Eternal Ceremonies? or will the secret of her parents be brought to light?
The daughter of a god of death.
The child that shouldn't exist.
Nin’s mother had warned her to never go to the Flame Festival, for the gods have laws against her life. Now Nin is a grumpy, world-wary almost thirty-year-old midwife. Her mother has passed away and her best friend begs her to go to the festival.
She attends, only to have her fated flame match with the last god she ever wanted to lay eyes on, Amun-Ra. Her mother's patron god, the one person her mother begged to come heal her in her time of need. Nin despises his pompous priss face and his cocky attitude until she learns the limits of his power and the demons that plague him.
Nin must now survive the year. The one problem? Someone knows both of her parents. He can unravel her secret in a moment and send the justices after her, resulting in execution. Will Nin submit to the pull of the flames and make it to the Eternal Ceremonies? or will the secret of her parents be brought to light?
Throwing her mother's burlap med bag over her shoulder, Nin hurries to her morning appointments down the winding path in the mountains; she’s late, as always after a night of drinking by herself, cursing the world. The waterfalls spray her with their morning mist as she passes them. The sage warming up in the sun's glow gives off its scent giving her hope for a nice day. Reaching the bottom of the hill, she smiles at one of her clients as she passes her tiny house at the end of the row of stone houses.
Sliding right into the hustle and bustle of the main road, she pulls her hip length, thick black and green mohawk haphazardly thrown into a braid over her shoulder. Lacing a string of crystals, she always wears through the plats of her braid in an attempt to look presentable. She gently places her hand on people's shoulders, letting them know she is passing behind them.
Making her way through the dusty cobblestone streets of the trade town of Dorini, she passes an overbooked inn draped in rainbow ribbons as she approaches the pop-up traders, their tents casting a stained glass like glow along the path.
A mousey brown haired noble woman in a regal deep red dress loudly whines to a town lord outside a jeweler for not having the earrings she wants.
Oh, poor brat can't buy more jewelry.
Nin rolls her eyes as pounds of gold necklaces dangle off the woman's neck and huge ruby earrings swing around the more agitated, she gets. Annoyed with the display, Nin slips her hand into the woman's basket, snatches a necklace, and disappears into the crowd before the lord notices her pass by. Finally, out of the fray, she tucks the necklace into her top and hums to herself as she looks at the deep jewel toned decorations outside the buildings lining the main road. Getting lost in a daydream as she focuses on the heaviness of her hair that day, she is jostled back to the town as two young pompous lords with their rotund ale bellies stop her, one wearing red silk and the other wearing blue cotton.
“Now, why would Lady Aster be upset over a missing necklace after you had just come from that area?” the lord wearing red silk crosses his arms.
“Gee, I’m not sure.”
“Search her.” the one wearing blue snaps.
Nin furrows her brow and puts her hands on her hips, “Search me where? I’m wearing a bodice and tight pants.”
“Your bag, smart ass.”
“I mean, search if you will but I have instruments for your pregnant wives in here.” she narrows her eyes and smirks.
“Get the hell out of here witch.” the lord in red hisses.
Nin flails her hands around, “oh, so scary. Calling me a witch. I’m quaking.” she rolls her eyes as she continues her way down the road.
“Visilas sure made you quake.” the lord in blue grabs her arm.
Nin cackles. “Is that what he told you?” she yanks her arm away.
“Hey! Leave the woman alone.” a patron at the inn across the street snaps.
“Lucky bitch.” the lord in blue scowls before walking down to the first rows of trade tents.
Dicks. Always bitching at me over stupid shit.
Just leave me the hell alone.
As if Zuka and Kady kicking their asses wasn't enough.
She continues down the street and peeks inside the bakery hoping to see her friend, but it is still dark inside. It wasn't even noon yet, so she winds through more colorful trade tents and up into the hills opposite the mountains her house is perched on. A large Nobles house built of light gray stone nestled in the hill just off the main road comes into view. The finely manicured bushes and trees assault her eyes.
Eh, I hate pruned plants and not a flower in sight. How can Kady stand this?
She scowls, walking up the long path to the house.
"Good morning!" She loudly announces as she opens the large wooden front door without knocking.
"Nin! I finally felt the baby move!" An excited woman in a bright blue cotton tunic runs from the study.
"That's perfect, Kady." Nin smiles as Kady’s brick colored mandala styled tattoos move along with the lines in her forehead.
Nin, Kady and the baker, Zuka, were all born at the same time, in the same room to Arcana mothers, witches. Nin’s mother was the Sun Arcana high priestess, the only one allowed to speak to their god. Nin, Kady and Zuka have always been close, helping each other every time they needed.
"Yes, she's been trying to get me to feel the baby all night." A handsome noble, Kady’s husband, crosses his arms in the doorway Kady ran from.
"Enjoy it, Xavier!" Nin grins remembering how, even Xavier got ridiculed by the lords and their children even though he was a noble.
Their house was always brilliantly decorated. Today it was extra gaudy with golds and blues on every dark mahogany pillar and banister and banners with the striking symbol of the Flame Festival embroidered onto them. Each home is decorated depending on what god their family member matched with. Kady’s brother-in-law matched with Hera, whose flame is gold and rich royal blue, though he was only a companion and not a court.
"Nin, are you going to finally go to the Citadel?" Kady asks as she moves her long perfectly curled blond hair from behind her neck and Nin examines her protruding belly.
"Now why would I go there? You never ask me to go. . ." Nin looks at her, confused.
"To find your flame or meet someone, anyone! You're beautiful, even if you are a bit brash." Kady laughs. "Though your hair needs some work." Kady rubs her hand on the fuzzy hair regrowing on Nin's temple. “I had a dream that Zuka matched. She really wants us all to be there.”
"You’re lucky you're my friend.” Nin scowls. “I wouldn't make a proper concubine to a god, you know that. And I quite like my mohawk." She side-eyes Kady as she pulls a fetoscope from her large bag.
"What is that?" Kady protects her belly from the strange brass bell in Nin’s hands.
"It lets me hear the baby's heart. It is big enough now to where we can hear it. Now stay quiet for a moment." Nin instructs, staring at the fabric of Kady’s favorite gaudy pink velvet lounge chair with the bell to her ear, trying to focus on the quick rhythmic thump thump thump. "Would you like to listen?" Nin smiles at Xavier, satisfied with the rate of the baby's heart.
“How does it work?” he asks, shifting from foot to foot as he still leans against the doorframe.
“You just put your ear to it, I have it positioned properly.” Nin holds her hand out to him.
Xavier hesitates a moment before quickly kneeling next to Nin and placing his ear on the bell sitting on Kady’s belly. A smile spreads across his face as the baby lightly kicks at the bell.
Before Nin could leave, Kady stops her. “You need to eat.” she raises an eyebrow at her.
“No, I don't, I'm fine.” Nin waves her hand.
“What did you eat this morning?”
Nin cringes knowing what's about to happen, “An apple.”
“You're staying.” Kady grabs Nin’s hand, pulling her to the dining room, forcing her to stay for lunch. An elaborate spread made specifically with the festival in mind.
“Why do you hate the festival so much?” Kady asks as she watches Nin to make sure she eats.
Nin pushes her food around on her plate. “Mother always told me not to go. Plus, after she didn’t go with her match, they made the rule that forces the matches into the Citadel.”
Kady sighs and drops her shoulders, “That's right. . .the gods can still find them if they run.”
“I’ll go for Zuka but don't expect me to be okay with matching if it happens.” Nin scowls as Kady takes her cup of wine away from her.
Kady trades Nin’s glass for water and hands it back. “Maybe matching wouldn't be a bad thing. The gods aren't all bad, plus you could match with someone not looking for a concubine.”
“I guess. . .” Nin stares at her food, her appetite completely gone now.
Before letting Nin get to her other appointments for the day, Kady stuffs her bag full of things she didn't need. She always leaves Kady's with new hair pieces and makeup and fine cotton and linen clothes shipped in from Bhedme.
At sunset she leaves her last appointment from another noble house tucked away in the hills and her bag weighs twice as much as before. Nin only looks after four women at a time, but she takes special care to make sure they are all happy after their appointments.
She lazily weaves through the streets that are more busy than usual with the Flame Festival happening the next morning. Every restaurant is jam-packed with lines spilling out onto the roads of people dressed in their best attire. Apartments above storefronts proudly light the torches of family members who had matched previous years, all in the bright grand colors of the Gods. Nin looks to the Citadel of the gods; Nyx was getting ready to fly and bring her blanket of stars.
I wish I could be with you, grandmother.
She watches as Nyx gracefully floats from the roof of the tallest temple and flies directly over her house past the mountains pulling the deep purple and blue sky behind her speckled with glimmering silver stars.
As Nyx disappears over the mountains, Nin stops at the bakery again. She waves to her friend, Zuka, and the woman she calls Gran.
The chimes jingle and clank against the green door as she walks in. “Hi, Granny!” Nin hugs the stout old woman with stark white hair tied into a loose bun behind the counter. “What's up, butthead?” she nudges Zuka, handing a customer a wrapped loaf of bread.
“I heard the lords talking about you today.” Zuka’s honey-colored eyes shoot daggers at her. “I couldn't even leave for the apothecary without hearing Aster whine about a missing necklace.”
“They irritate me, so I stole one measly silver chain.” Nin shrugs and pulls the silver chain from her top as she eats a meat and cheese filled croissant she swiped before Zuka could tell her no.
“Everyone irritates you. And don't sparkle those hazel eyes at me after stealing one of my croissants.” Zuka laughs.
“Yeah, you're right. And I can't help it if my eyes sparkle when I eat your food, these croissants are amazing as always,” Nin chuckles.
“Except me and Kady.” Zuka smirks, pulling loaves of bread from the oven. “You know, you aren't ever going to find your flame if you sit and act like a man.” Zuka scowls, kicking Nin’s knee as she sits with her legs open.
“Oh, shut up, not you too.” Nin rolls her eyes.
“Kady told you the same thing, didn't she?” Zuka shakes her head and pushes new bread to the front of the display counter.
“Yes. . . why are you two acting so weird? You never ask me to go with you because of what happened with mother and her flame.” Nin furrows her brow as she admires Zuka's chocolate brown hair, her loose bun with wispy tendrils of hair drawing attention to her prominent cheekbones and wide, usually intimidating smile which is drawn into a scowl in the present moment.
Zuka’s face twists with annoyance, “We’re almost thirty, Nin.”
“So? I'm not settling down with any of the people in town.” Nin catches their reflections in the display case behind the counter and scowls seeing her wide hips and shoulders, and thick muscular legs, compared to Zuka’s slender—everything. Slender and put together, the standard for concubines for the gods. . . which Nin is not.
“Then go out and explore like our moms did.” Zuka sighs, wrapping bread for Nin to take home.
“I can't leave you guys.” Nin admires the rings on Zuka’s long lyre playing fingers as she wipes her hands on her apron.
Zuka playfully nudges Nin again, “Then you're going to be a crotchety old hermit.”
"I already am!" Nin throws her hands up in the air. "Creepy old house on the mountain, help the women in town when they need me, drink till I pass out. Hermit." Nin grins.
“Nin is perfect the way she is!” Gran winks.
“Thanks, Gran! See, even Gran agrees with me.” Nin scrunches up her face playfully.
“Gran is just as much of an ass as you!” Zuka laughs.
“It's a gift.” Gran and Nin say in unison as they smile at each other.
Zuka’s grandmother is the only one that knows Nin’s secret. She helped Nin's mother bring her earthside and is the only person in town that would tell a Lord to shove it, other than Nin. They are terrified of her, though Gran’s immortality is fading, they still wouldn't be able to do anything to her if she clobbered them for hurting Nin.
“You might want to look outside.” Zuka nods to the window handing Nin a large parcel of bread.
“Oh shit, it's dark already.” Nin jumps up, finally seeing the moonlit street.
“Nin, go with me to the festival tomorrow.” Zuka pleads as Nin heads for the door. “Kady had a dream that I’m going to match with Thoth.”
Nin’s body seems to deflate as she pouts, “If I have to.”
“You do.”
“Fine. I'm wearing my tulip palazzo pants then.”
Zuka drops her shoulders, “Pants?”
“That's all you're getting out of me. Don't. Push. It.” she laughs.
“Wait! Need a lantern?” Zuka ducks down behind the counter as Nin places her hand on the glass door.
Nin scrunches up her face contemplating it for a second. “Nah, as soon as I get to my path, I'll be fine.” she waves her hand as she pushes the door open and exits out onto the street.
She keeps her head low to keep from looking the Lords in the eye. Nin hears the chimes of the bakery again, she looks back only to see Gran standing just outside with a large, serrated knife pointed at the lords huddled around their headquarters.
“You leave my baby alone! Don’t make me break your doors down again.” She bellows.
Nin giggles to herself as the Lords retreat inside and she walks up the finally quiet path to her house by the biggest waterfall. She throws her med bag on a chair when she opens her front door. The carefully laid stone floor and walls bring her a feeling of calm. Her father built the house while her mother was pregnant. She missed both of them, but her father wouldn't even recognize her now.
She grumbles as she pulls a bottle of wine from the root cellar and sits at her four-person table in the middle of the kitchen with her feet kicked up.
Haven't eaten anything all day except lunch with Kady and a croissant. Ah well, who cares.
Nin guzzles some of the wine and decides to wander the mountain around her. She heads to the temple ruins on the shore of the lake where her mother originally lived, scatters new flowers around the crumbling building and tries cleaning up the broken candles. As she heads back down the path to her house, she spots the god, Amun-Ra, going to the lake named after him on the top of the mountain.
Such a big head you have, dick.
Mother begged you. . .
I begged you. . .
And I still go and clean up your stupid broken temple, but you never come to talk to me.
Arrogant ass.
She scowls as his skyboat disappears at the peak, she plucks a large sunflower on the side of the path and stumbles back down to her house. Throwing the empty wine bottle back into the root cellar she throws herself onto the bed, sticking the stem of the sunflower into the headboard she stares up at it until she can't hold her eyes open anymore.
Don't go to the festival.
Danger around every turn.
The Beast will eat you if he senses your magic.
Those three things echo in her mind all night, her mother’s warnings. A strip of sunlight through the small, shuttered window above her bed wakes her the next morning. She sits up and squints as she looks around her small stone house. She has a hangover again. Scowling and rubbing her temples, she grabs her bathing oils before heading to the waterfall.
I don't wanna do this.
Why the hell do I have to do this?
I hate washing this mop.
Stupid Zuka and Kady, making me go to this crap.
I have better things to do. . . wait, do I?
I don't, actually. Gods damn it.
She grumbles as she washes her long hair with the cheapest oils in town which makes her hair rough, rougher than it should be anyway. She knows how expensive the oils are, and even though Kady gifted her things, she never took the expensive oils. She digs her fingers into her skin as she scrubs and makes sure to tie her hair up before letting it dry.
A little while later she makes her way down the path, her light purple tulip palazzo pants exposing her thick scarred legs as the breeze blows by. Her light green top adorned with solid gold and deep jade beads sounds like tiny bells as her feet hit the dirt path. The second she enters town, the Lords set their sights on her as they stand by the town center watching everyone.
“Heading to the festival?” one leans on his cane with a smug look on his face.
She scowls, “Mhm.”
“That looks like a top miss Kady received the other day,” another growls crossing his arms over his shining silk vest.
Nin rolls her eyes, “Yes, she bought it for me.”
“No one cares enough about you to buy you anything.” they all chuckle.
“You more than anyone should know Kady and Zuka care about me considering what they did to your son when he tried pinning me down in the empty choir hall at the school.” Nin glares at one specific man with a deep purple vest.
Another Lord cracks her over the head with the brass end of his cane before she could get away. She rubs her head and quickens her pace towards Zuka’s meeting spot. Trapped by a thick crowd, she pushes her way through, elbows dig into her as she squeezes by until she's finally in the clear and can see Zuka standing at the only olive tree, their meeting tree, wearing a sparkly beaded pink and orange dress she would normally never wear. Nearly running, she grabs Zuka's wrist and pulls her to the crowd of people walking the ten hot, dusty miles to the Citadel.
Zuka laughs, trying to keep up, “Woah, you look nice, and in trouble again.”
“The lords think I stole this top from Kady.”
“It's a pretty top.” Zuka nods. Slowing their pace when the lords stop at the edge of town, Zuka finally looks at Nin, “Wow, you look even more beautiful than normal!”
“Shut up.” Nin laughs, still rubbing the knot on the side of her head.
“Thank you.” Zuka smiles and adjusts one of the opalescent crystal and silver hair pins holding Nin’s hair up.
“For what?” Nin asks, confused.
“You didn't need to look nice, but you did for me.” She links arms with Nin, Zuka’s forget-me-not tattoo, standing out against her tanned skin glistening with oils in the hot sun as they follow behind an old couple holding hands.
“I don’t get why you care to get all prissy for this.”
“Because Kady’s dreams are never wrong.” Zuka smiles.
"Why show them this mask then?"
"I want to give a good first impression. I want children with Thoth Nin, and I want you to bring them earthside."
Nin looks up at Zuka sadly, unsure of what to say. She was quite a bit taller than Nin. She could have been the daughter of a titan, she was so tall. She also knew Zuka didn't have to try this hard.
The oasis of the trees gives way to the open desert, the path lined with jewel toned ribbons and multicolored torches crackling as sand blows into them. Nin sighs with relief every time she stands in a shady spot as the sun creeps higher and higher as they make their way down the path. She hates being hot. From the town, the Citadel looks like any fortress, but the closer they get, the taller and brighter the walls become and the longer the sun beats down on Nin the frizzier her curly hair becomes.
“Why am I coming again?” Nin groans.
“Because you love me and want me to match with the god I've loved since I was eighteen?” Zuka nudges her as the walls of the Citadel tower above them.
“I guess.” Nin teases, “do I have to take a stupid torch?”
“Yes.”
“No. . .” Nin crosses her arms and scowls. “Tell me the rules again.”
“Single people take a torch. Whoever matches has to live in the Citadel. If they try to flee, the god can still follow the pull of the flames and take them to the Citadel. Witches can't have children with the gods even if they're a concubine or court.”
“And you think it's a good idea for me to attend? Are you serious?”
“You have the rings, and I'm sure you’ll be able to get more if you match. Plus, you might match with a goddess, so it won't be needed anyway.”
“Fine. and what about the rules in the Citadel?” Nin grumbles.
“I only know that concubines have to travel in pairs or groups because of a rule instated hundreds of years ago after Zeus had an affair with another gods concubine.”
“Lovely.”
“The walls shimmer like stars.” Zuka gasps as they approach the Citadel walls.
The only beauty about this place, I guess. Other than the magic protected meadows.
Zuka clutches Nin’s arm tight just before they walk in the gates. As they enter, the sun disappears and nothing, but blue flame torches light their way. A cold breeze passes by their feet as the draft from the center of the Citadel is pulled to the gates. Nin curiously looks through the crumbling barricades creating the corridor. One side with the markings of Greek and Egyptian gods and the other side the markings of Norse and Celtic gods. Out from a break in the walls, blocking the old temples off, an old woman covered in glittering silver tattoos grabs Nin’s arm as Zuka continues with the flow of the crowd glancing back at Nin every few seconds.
“I know who you are.” She gently touches Nin’s face as she digs her nails into her arm sending sharp, shooting pain to her fingertips.
Nin cringes and pulls away, ouch! Shit, what the hell? Bitch, lucky she's an elder.
Why did her tattoos glitter like that?
Jogging to catch up to Zuka, a searing pain slowly builds where the woman's hand had wrapped around her arm.
Nin gasps in pain, “My arm is on fire.”
“That woman must have had lavender oil on her hands.” Zuka tries rubbing the area as they walk to remove the oil.
They reach the festival grounds, a large gaudy stage at the center, ribbons fluttering in the breeze and confetti trickles escaping from their baskets. The sun reveals a large red mark on Nin’s arm and deep nail marks on the back.
“Hey!” Kady happily bounces up to them. “Ouch, what happened to your arm?” she pulls a cool wet rag from around her neck.
“Some woman grabbed me in the corridor. She had lavender oil on her hands.” Nin’s arm relaxes feeling the cool water on her skin. She then notices Amun-Ra’s eyes on them and scowls.
“Here put this band on just until you leave to hide the mark.” Kady pulls her silver band from her upper arm.
As they climb the tiered pews, they are handed a simple bronze torch with a trigger on the side to light the flame. Kady, Zuka and Nin get situated in their seats, while Amun-Ra and Thoth sit in the center of the bright gold stage lined with reds, greens, and pinks. Ra’s bright red, yellow, and pink flame and Thoth’s neon green and deep black flame sit perched on towering torches above their heads.
Nin fidgets with the torch and then looks down at the gods as the announcer speaks, Ra with his huge gold and ruby chest plate and Thoth in his white tunic. “We have new gods and goddesses whose flames have not erupted in a while! Master Amun-Ra for the first time in one thousand years, Master Thoth for his first flame ever! Madame Leto for her second court and Madame Ala Muki for her final court!” the crowd cheers. “If you are new to this festival please listen closely! The Gods and Goddesses with large bright flames are looking for concubines and courts. The dim flames are looking for companions only!”
“Oh, Thoth is magnificent, no?” Zuka beams. “Any you have an eye on? There's quite a few Demigods up there,” she leans in to talk to Nin over the roar of the crowd.
“No, none.” Nin smiles looking over the gods and demigods lined along the festival grounds.
“Seriously? There are gorgeous men and women up there and none catch your eye? All the women are staring at Ra and I don't blame them. Those big hands would make anyone feel safe. Damn!” Zuka wiggles her eyebrows.
Why notice him?
I guess since he’s the only one up there with bright red macaw hair. . .
“Bast looks beautiful with her purple eyes and I catch myself looking at Anubis practically glowing like the moon. But I don't know, I'm not into this whole thing, Zuka.” Nin fans herself in the hot desert sun and even warmer bodies surrounding her wishing she could be in the shade of the trees around her house. It was starting to warm up already, and it was only the first day of Ostara, March nineteenth.
Zuka shrugs, “Suit yourself.”
“Alright, ladies and gentlemen! Torches at the ready!” the stout brown-haired announcer flamboyantly waves his arms. Nin holds hers out for pleasantries. “If your flame matches any of these beautiful creatures, you are able to leave your seats to join them down on the grounds. If it is a plain flame, you have not matched. One! Two! Three!” The announcer waves his hand like an orchestra conductor as he counts down. Everyone pushes their trigger buttons and flames light the stands, only a handful matching the gods and demigods on the grounds. But Nin hesitates when Ra pulls his Falcon hood down scanning the stands for his flame.
“I matched with Thoth!” Zuka jumps to her feet, her bright green torch standing out amongst the plain flames on their side of the stadium. “Why haven't you pushed yours?” Zuka stares down, confused.
“Do I have to?” Nin groans, Ra and Thoth's eyes on both of them now.
“Just do it, you might not match.” Zuka shakes her head.
Nin scowls and pushes the trigger on the torch. A pang of nausea washes over her as Amun-Ra’s bright red flame erupts from Nin’s torch.
NO!
Shit, bastard, asshole.
Crap, crap, crap.
Zuka laughs, “If you scowl any harder, your lips are gonna fall off.”
The guards open the gates to the stands, allowing the matched men and women down to the grounds to do the usual tours of the temples. Nin sticks closely to Zuka until she runs ahead to Thoth. She slowly makes her way to Amun-Ra’s stage as he stands there like the pompous priss he is, his shoulder-length wavy red hair grandly flowing in the wind brushing against his deep bronze skin.
“Guess I’m the only one.” Nin holds out her torch to him noticing a glittering dark navy and gold sun tattoo around his arm traveling to his wrist.
That old woman must have been from here, her tattoos glittered like Ra’s.
He sneers at her. “Well, you aren't bad looking.”
“Thanks, you're still an asshole,” she growls, his cocky smile making rage boil inside her.
“Have we met?” he narrows his eyes with an eyebrow raised.
“Not formally." She sucks her teeth, annoyed. "My mother was your high priestess."
“And where’s this mother of yours? She must be so proud,” he smiles.
“Key word is, was, pretty boy,” Nin snaps.
A smug smile spreads across his face, "Sorry for your loss."
"Yeah sure." Nin crosses her arms.
“Do you want to tour my temple?” he furrows his brow, taken aback by her apathy.
She narrows her eyes. “No, I know what happens during those tours.”
“Well stay here, I have to set the sun soon.” he scrunches up his nose irritated with her.
Nin stays on the festival grounds talking with Kady and a woman in a powder blue dress named Gabriella when Anubis walks up on them.
"You matched with Ra, right? How come you're not touring like the others?" He softly smiles, his almost white gray eyes piercing through her from behind his pin straight jet-black hair.
"Not really into it, plus he said he had to go set the sun so I might as well stay here."
"Of course, he did." Anubis shakes his head exposing an ear full of silver and black earrings while mumbling something about Set, “I apologize for him, he’s a lonely old asshole.” Anubis half smiles as Nin chuckles. “There's a smile, I don't think I’ve seen one from you once since you arrived.”
“Have you been watching me Master of the underworld?” Nin raises an eyebrow.
“Well, you aren't exactly the type to blend in. Neither is your friend.”
“Not sure how to take that.” Nin narrows her eyes.
“All good things. Is there a reason you feel helpless?” He tilts his head. “It's one of my powers to hear the thoughts of the helpless.”
Nin stares at him for a second, “I was always warned never to come here.”
“No need to feel helpless, sunshine there isn't always an ass. He’ll warm up to you eventually.” Anubis smiles a sympathetic smile drawing Nin’s attention to a bright silver septum ring before excusing himself.
When Ra returns, they sit near each other but don't say much of anything as everyone else drinks and dances the night away.
"Do you have anything to do before you come to my temple?" He halfheartedly asks just after midnight.
Anubis called him sunshine. . .I can't stop thinking about it. . .
"That pregnant woman in the powder blue dress could have her baby any day now. I'm her midwife." Nin looks at him out of the corner of her eye, the exhaustion of the entire day drawing on his expression.
Odd, he seemed so arrogant earlier, now he just seems laid back and tired.
Don't laugh. . .
His eyebrow raises as he finally takes an interest, "What an interesting profession. How many babies have you helped bring into the world?"
Sunshine. . .
"Hundreds, I don't really keep count. I was fifteen when I took over for my mother." She laughs and then catches herself.
"Well, I knew you had a smile in there." He says as he leans back in his chair.
Nin's face instantly drops back to a frown. She crosses her arms in her lap and tries to become invisible but Zuka quickly swoops in whisking her away across the festival grounds.
"Why are you being so cold?" Zuka asks as they get wine from a servant passing by.
Cuz, I don’t like him!
"He's an asshole," Nin grumbles. “And I don't want to be trapped here for the rest of my life!”
"Nin, you matched with him, try to get on level ground," Zuka pleads. “Don't make me be here without you.”
"I don't like this whole thing, Zuka. How they force us to move in here instead of letting us live our lives." Nin crosses her arms. “You would have been here alone if I didn’t push the stupid button anyway.”
"Try being nice. He might not be as bad as you think.”
"Fine."
Anubis called him sunshine, so I guess there's some niceness in him somewhere.
Nin grabs another goblet of wine for Ra, gives Zuka a snarky smile and heads back, sliding between gods and their flames as they drunkenly dance around.
“She’s gorgeous Ra, be happy. She looks nothing like the cookie cutters we usually get. They both aren't,” she hears Thoth tell Ra.
“She hates me,” Ra laughs. “Her mother was that priestess that abandoned me. Destroyed the temple at the lake and everything.”
That was not a real laugh.
“You're taking Set’s advice and being an asshole. That might be how he gets his girls, but this one doesn't seem to be into it. Quit being a dick, you knucklehead." Anubis knocks Ra over the head with his knuckles as he leans against the wall beside him.
So, he doesn't normally act like this?
"Plus, she might be the type that needs to warm up. I heard her tell My Flame that she doesn't like the festival.” Thoth pats his shoulder when he notices Nin.
“Maybe. This is going to be rough.” Ra rubs his forehead.
She holds the goblet out to him but refuses to look at him, “I brought you wine.”
“Thank—you—” he looks at her confused. "I haven't seen you eat, should you be drinking?" He tilts his head noticing her swaying already.
“So, tell me something about yourself.” Nin says avoiding the question, making him choke on his wine as she sits on a creaky wooden chair next to him.
“Why?” he coughs.
“I'm going to be stuck with you forever, right?” she raises her eyebrow. “What's your favorite food?”
“I have a sweet tooth,” he says, lost in his thoughts. “Yours?”
“Zuka’s croissants are my favorite. She bakes all sorts of things inside. . .” Nin trails off as he looks distracted by a god nearly suffocating a woman with kisses.
“She's a baker?” he asks looking at her finally.
“An amazing one. She put all the other bakeries out of business.”
He takes another sip of wine. “What do you like to do in your free time?”
She scoffs, “What free time?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“You just did,” she coyly smiles.
“Why did you look so pissed after your torch matched mine? I saw you in the stands,” he looks at her. Nin’s smile instantly disappears. “Have I done something?”
“No,” she coldly replies, pulling one of her knees into her chest, turning her head away exposing a long scar from the base of her neck to her crown.
“I guess I'm not understanding the animosity then, when your mother was the one who destroyed the place people left offerings for me.”
“Like you need more offerings,” she snaps. “I'll see you in two days. I’m going home,” she grumbles standing from her seat.
“Hey! Wait a second! If I have done something to you, then tell me!” his massive hand roughly grabs her sore arm. Nin can see Zuka’s eyes grow wide as she talks with Thoth.
Anger boils inside her. “First, don’t fucking grab me like that EVER again,” she snaps, yanking her arm away. “Second, my mother begged you to come heal her. I begged you to come heal her. She died thinking her patron god ignored her. And she died at night, what could you have possibly been doing?” Nin’s mind races to all the things she wishes to say to him as she tries to hide the tears welling in her eyes.
Nin sees some color leave his face. “I'll. . . I'll have your room prepared how you like it. Anything particular you wish to have?” He asks as his fake persona falters.
“No velvet.” She crosses her arms and tries to hide her face with her hair.
“Anything else?”
“No,” she snaps walking away from him.
Nin storms away from the festival grounds, the loud music and voices disappearing the farther down the corridor she goes. Feeling eyes on her as she leaves the gates she looks back. Ra stands at the top of the Citadel wall with another god she couldn't make out, with glowing gold scars. She rolls her eyes and continues the ten miles back to Dorini.
Fuck! Why him?
This is stupid.
I shouldn't have gone.
I knew it was a bad idea.
Now I have to lie my entire life.
I should run.
I can't do this.
Zuka expects me there—I can't do that to her.
She throws herself onto her bed when she finally gets home, pressing her face into her pillow. She drifts off for a few hours only dreaming of her mother saying one thing, "Never go to the Citadel, they don't want you to exist."
A soft knock wakes her just before sunrise.
Nin flings her front door open, her curly hair sticking to her face, ready to snap at whoever woke her up. “Kady?”
“Gabriella is in labor,” she says as Nin instantly darts back inside.
“Did you walk up here?” Nin yells as she changes her clothes.
“Yes, you know Gabriella’s house is just at the bottom of your path.”
“You all just got home?” Nin furrows her brow.
“We were celebrating you and Zuka, but you left early. Gran has your torch.”
“Ra pissed me off.” Nin appears at the door with her Med bag and her hair thrown up in a loose bun.
"What happened?" Kady looks at her, concerned.
"I never told you that mother begged him to come heal her?" Nin looks at her as they walk.
"Oh gods, Nin. . . are you okay?" Kady sighs as they make their way down the path.
“No. Yeah. . . I guess.” Nin grumbles.
“If your mother chose him as her god, he can't be all bad.”
“He ignored her. . .” Nin clenches her jaw, “he’s the only god that can heal and he ignored the one person who was allowed to talk to him.”
“I'm sorry. . .” Kady bites her lip lost in thought. Walking down the hill, Nin looks at the sleepy-eyed Kady sadly. “What?”
“I won't be here when you have your baby.” Nin sadly smiles.
“Oh, don't worry about it, Gran already said she would take over for you.” Kady smiles. “Are you ever going to want children?” she tilts her head.
“What kind of question is that?” Nin recoils.
“Well. . . there's a rule in the Citadel against witches having children with the gods. I always assumed that's why your mother didn't have you with her match.”
“I guess not then. I wouldn't want to see anything happen to my children.” Nin sighs.
Oh Kady, if only you knew.
As they get closer to the bottom of the hill, they both can hear Gabriella in pain, Nin sprints to the house leaving Kady to shuffle down. Nin expertly moves around the room, checking Gabriella and getting hot water. An hour after the sun rises, Nin holds Gabriella’s baby girl. Placing the baby on Gabriella's chest, Nin sits at the foot of the bed, washing her hands in the bowl of water. Calling Gabriella's husband from outside, she cleans up Gabriella and excuses herself to their washroom, filling the tub with hot water.
“If you don't mind, I'm going to wash the blood off and change my clothes before I go into town,” Nin whispers to Gabriella's husband. “I’ll cook you a meal before I go.”
“Anything you need Nin. Thank you,” he hugs her before she slips back into the washroom.
Submerging into the tub, she looks up to the small round window cut out of the stone. A small silver falcon sits there.
Is Ra spying on me?
She wonders as she scrubs her skin. After a few minutes, Nin pulls the cork at the bottom of the tub letting it drain. She gets dressed in new clothes and walks back and forth a few times from the spring outside their door, filling the tub again.
She gently touches Gabriella's arm, “Want a bath?”
“I'm more hungry.”
“Alright, I’ll make you something.” Nin smiles seeing the baby suckling away happily.
Rummaging around their kitchen, she makes them lunch and as she sits watching Gabriella, her husband's grandmother walks inside.
The elderly woman holds out a ceremonial head piece to her, “take it.” she says.
“Oh no I can't possibly take that.”
“Please. You helped them after they lost their last child. Please take it.”
Nin looks at the tarnished silver encrusted with crystals. “I'm leaving tomorrow, I won't be able to give it back to you.” she hesitantly places her hand over the old woman’s.
“Then wear it for those fancy parties the gods throw and know how much you mean to all of us here.”
Gabriella’s husband turns from his new baby, “Nin, even if the lords don't like you, everyone else in town is indebted to you and your mother. Your mother was here before the town, she built the temple for Ra and brought everyone here. She should have been the one to run everything but alas the lords pushed their way in with their money.”
“This is a family heirloom, I can't take it from you.” Nin smiles.
“You are part of everyone's family here.” the old woman smiles and places the hair piece into Nin’s hair. “Whether it was you helping your mother during birth or doing it yourself, you have been a part of everyone's families for thirty years.”
“Ok, well it's in my hair, it's never getting out now.” Nin laughs.
After Gabriella and her family finish their lunch, Nin sets out into town to gather supplies for Gran to use. Before she makes it to the shops, her head spins as her arm throbs. She catches herself on the building and looks where the woman grabbed her. Small red tendrils inch their way down her arm like snakes slithering through grass. Nin pulls bandages from her med bag and wraps her arm. Sitting on the floor, letting the pain subside, she stares up at the sky. The silver falcon sits across the road from her on top of one of the buildings.
That has to be Ra, I’ve never seen that falcon before now.
Nin stands as the pain subsides and heads to the shops. As she passes the dress shop, she is yanked inside.
“I don't care what you say, you need a dress for tomorrow.” Zuka wags her finger in Nin’s face.
Nin pouts, “Gods, why?”
“Try this one, it’ll show that tattoo on your back.” Zuka holds out a deep purple dress covered in stars.
“He’s the sun god, isn't this a bit too dark?”
“I have that one in light purples and pinks, it’ll go nicely with your hair,” the shop owner smiles from her chair.
“Yes! We’ll try that one!” Zuka bounces on the balls of her feet.
Nin sighs in the changing room as she pulls the heavy beaded dress over her head, “You look pained my love.” Gran helps Nin into it.
“My arm is bothering me, I'm fine.” Nin sighs holding the halter top up as Gran braids the strands of fabric.
“Want me to make you something to ease the pain?” she pats Nin’s shoulder telling her to turn around.
“No, I'll get something on the way home.” Nin smiles as Gran makes the neckline look pretty.
“It's a bit sheer but all the women in the Harems wear sheer clothes.” she chuckles.
“Can I put something more solid over? I do not want to walk through town like this.” Nin cringes looking in the mirror seeing some of her scars showing through the sheer top part of the dress.
“Let me look.” she shuffles out of the dressing room to look around the store.
Nin fiddles with the dress for a moment before Zuka slips in. “Wow. . .”
Nin laughs, “What?”
“Ra is lucky.” Zuka hugs Nin from behind.
“So is Thoth.”
“Oh please, you should have seen the other women in the Harem. I'm plain compared to them.”
“Bullshit. Those cookie cutter nobles aren't half as pretty as you.” Nin brushes Zuka’s loose flowing hair out of her face. “Does Ra have concubines? Do you know?”
“Not sure, he might, I know I didn't see any movement in his temple when I toured Thoth’s.” Zuka pulls Nin’s hip-length hair up exposing her back tattoo. “I told you this dress would make that tattoo look amazing.”
“Well, if he has a harem, maybe I can just avoid him then.” Nin turns to look at the tattoo her mother gave her before she passed away. “I miss her.” Nin bites her lip lost in thought as she stares at the snakes winding through the runes of the elements trailing from a sun on her neck to a moon on her tailbone, the color of the dress accentuating the sunrise colors of her tattoo.
“Me too,” Zuka sighs. “She would be happy for you, Nin.”
“Would she? She never went with her match. She's the reason we’re forced to live there now.”
“Didn't he come visit her though?”
“I'm not sure,” Nin lies.
“Alright girls let's finish up. There are concubines from the Citadel waiting.” Gran hands Nin a dark turquoise and orange overdress with the same cut out in the back to show off her tattoo.
As Zuka and Nin leave the dressing room after changing their clothes, the concubines snicker and whisper to each other.
“Look at how filthy they look.”
“Both of them have tattoos. How vile.”
“Look at their hair.”
“Look at the scars on them both.”
Nin smirks walking past them “And look at you, a bunch of grown women acting like petulant preteens,” she narrows her eyes.
“Nin!” Zuka laughs pulling Nin outside faster.
“They are pretentious beasts,” Nin snaps walking towards Zuka’s bakery as her grandmother pays for their dresses.
“They're part of my harem.”
“So what? Don't let them treat you less simply because they think they're better.”
“Nin. I'm trying to stay on Thoth's good side. I want to be part of the ceremonies in two months, not standing on the sidelines.”
“You can be on his good side, but you don't need to take their shit.”
“There's a ranking system. He will listen to the oldest standing girl before listening to me.”
“When have you ever cared, Zuka? What the hell?”
“I'm trying to find my place, Nin.”
“Instead of trying to fit into their fucking puzzle, start your own and stand out! When have we ever fit in? You're an amazon woman and I'm the ember that boils the lords’ anger remember?”
Zuka’s eyes fill with tears, “Nin, I've loved him since I was eighteen."
“You never met him until last night!” Nin snaps.
“I did. Once.”
Nin closes her eyes biting her tongue as Zuka’s eyes glisten, “Want me to stay with you and Gran tonight? I’ll go home really quick to get my things and be back.” Nin sighs as they stand outside the bakery.
“We’ll go together tomorrow?”
“Screw their rules, we do what we want.” Nin laughs.
Nin quickly runs back up to her house to collect the things she wants to take with her to the Citadel.
What's going to happen to this place?
She stands in the middle of the room looking at the live edge counter in the kitchen, the dried flowers hanging above the window and the hand-carved wooden table.
I'm never coming back. But I'll be near Dad at least.
She sighs running her hand over the intricate swirls she and her mother carved into the bedposts when she was young.
Maybe one day I can come visit. . .
Go, Kady won't let this place fall apart.
“Love you, Mom. Keep watching over me ‘kay? Interested to see why you took me in this direction.” Nin’s sighs as she closes the door one last time.
This was a fun re-working of the different pantheons of the world. Each pantheon is housed in their own section of the Citadel, and each member has their own temple. It's like one large, central Mount Olympus. And while there is the usual drama between the gods and goddesses of each pantheon (and of the world), this story portrays them in a more humanized manner. They have feelings and hopes and dreams and are far from the unfathomable, untouchable creatures we're used to seeing.
I find Nin to be pretty insufferable to begin with. She's confrontational, brash, harsh, and very grumpy. Eventually you learn she's been subject to a lot of abuse and horrible treatment in her life, and her personality is just a way to protect herself. She definitely has a lot of wonderful growth and character development throughout the story, making her a much more enjoyable character.
Ra isn't free from his own flaws, or hurts, though. And being matched with stubborn, world-wary Nin forces him to see things from a different perspective, while he simultaneously tries to help her see things from a differently too. He slowly tries to coax her out of the defenses she's set up around herself, showing her a world of happiness and comfort. They're a fun couple to watch grow together.
Their relationship isn't without its ups and downs as they learn to coexist, of course. They aren't depicted as perfect beings, which is refreshing, particularly for Ra(and the other gods and goddesses). Their life is tumultuous too, embroiled in drama and danger. Ra, and especially Nin, don't back down without a fight though.
I recommend giving this a read if you enjoy stories about Greek and Egyptian mythologies, and fun romances.