What would you sacrifice for your child? Dreams? Ambitions? Everything?
Jim Bowen is a single father who struggles with his ex-wife. He still loves her and wants it to work but her toxic personality is devastating to their sweet seven-year-old daughter, Lily.
His grand ambitions of being an architect and building skyscrapers in a big city have eluded him. Heâs on edge, working in a factory and living in a dying mid-west town while trying to raise his daughter and teach her right from wrong. The pressures are mounting.
Like the town, he fights on for a better life. That better life may come in the form of a single woman with a child of her own. Pushed to the limits, they fight through each day, while most of the townspeople hold together like a family relying on each other. The town that once thrived now hangs on to the past like a fraying thread.
Did they stay too long? Will love save them, or will bitterness destroy them all? The answers delve deep into the eternal question of what it means to truly love.
What would you sacrifice for your child? Dreams? Ambitions? Everything?
Jim Bowen is a single father who struggles with his ex-wife. He still loves her and wants it to work but her toxic personality is devastating to their sweet seven-year-old daughter, Lily.
His grand ambitions of being an architect and building skyscrapers in a big city have eluded him. Heâs on edge, working in a factory and living in a dying mid-west town while trying to raise his daughter and teach her right from wrong. The pressures are mounting.
Like the town, he fights on for a better life. That better life may come in the form of a single woman with a child of her own. Pushed to the limits, they fight through each day, while most of the townspeople hold together like a family relying on each other. The town that once thrived now hangs on to the past like a fraying thread.
Did they stay too long? Will love save them, or will bitterness destroy them all? The answers delve deep into the eternal question of what it means to truly love.
Love in a Dying Town
Douglas Robbins
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                                                       1
Summer 1984
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Jimmy moved past Lily drawing on the living room floor. âWeâre discussing this, Megan.â His wife glared up at him from the brown tattered couch. Threadbare fabric showed on the armrest.
âThatâs all you ever do is talk. I want to live, Jim. Live. Iâve been asking for new cabinets, marble countertops, and for goodness sake, a new couch. This thing is gross.â She shuddered looking at it.
He stopped pacing the worn hardwood floor. âThatâs really expensive what youâre talking about.â
âEverythingâs about money with you.â
âYou need money to buy things.â He leaned in, shaking his head.
âYou ever hear of credit? I mean, donât you even love me?â She batted her blue eyes at him.
âYes, of course. Well, I have been saving for that architecture program. I could use that money, I guess. Whatâs a few more months waiting for my dream, huh?â Wanting to appease her and keep the peace, he shrugged at the idea that had eluded him for years.
âThat dumb program ainât enough for no kitchen cabinets, marble countertops, and leather couch.â
âLeather? Youâre being nasty now, and we donât have that kind of money. Weâre not who you want us to be.â In his mid-thirties, his rugged face already showed stress lines. He already worked too hard at the factory, and his knees bothered him. His arms and chest were cut like stone, rough and strong. He stood there in his signature black T-shirt that matched the color of his thick black hair.
On the wooden end table, Megan poured another shot of Southern Comfort and slammed it back. âThe problem is you ainât never gonna have that kind of money. And I deserve better. You and that girl, oh, let me tell you.â
âYou mean our daughter, listening from the floor?â Seven-year-old Lily had crawled under the coffee table, her safe space. She did this when the tone in Mommy and Daddyâs voice changed and hardened. He knew she heard everything. He just didnât know what damage it was doing.
âI know who she is. Losing my beauty cause of you two. Like two bricks around my neck.â Megan shook her head. Her wavy blonde hair flowed over her voluptuous body. The ugliness of her raging bitterness didnât match her physical good looks. He never did understand the bile that spewed out from her. She could make him laugh though like few could. Yet something came into those eyes. Something would take holdâsomething ugly, mean, loveless.
He gazed downward. âLily, honey, cover your ears. Megan, put that bottle down. I canât talk to you like this.â
âWhy? I ainât drinking too much,â she said, pouring herself another.
âCalm down. Itâs like youâre fighting me and the whole world here.â He sat on the couch next to her with the busted coil and looked at it. âOkay, maybe we do need a new couch.â He laughed a little, trying to soothe her.
âYeah, this old nasty thing.â She paused, looking away. âThe short of it is, I got me an apartment, a real nice one.â She stood, throwing back another shot, drinking as if some answer was to be found or to silence the ones that had already come.
Jim stood abruptly, knowing she always had connections to people with money. His face turned red as they squared off in the living room. âWe have a family here.â He gestured to Lily under the table. The lines in his forehead creased. The permeating liquor smelled like bad cough medicine.
She stood to battle him and tear him apart. âDonât choo worry about that. Iâm done with yâall. Tired of waiting. Got my life to live. It was all a mistake anyhow. Nothing but a brick around my neck, both of yâall.â
She stumbled, almost stepping on Lilyâs foot that stuck out. Lily stopped drawing and looked out with reddened eyes. Her straight blonde hair fell to the side. âDonât go, Mama. Iâll change. Iâll be good, I promise.â She crawled out, grabbing for her. This wasnât the first time Megan had left. But this was the first time she got an apartment.
Jim said, âYou havenât done anything wrong, Lily. Momâs just talking crazy.â
Megan scowled. âOh, hush, girl. I was never no good to you anyhow. Iâll send for my things.â She stepped to the front door.
âNo, Mama. Donât go.â Lily clung to her leg, crying.
Jim pulled her off as Megan moved to the door, shaking her leg without looking down. âLet her go, Lily. Let her go. This thing inside isnât your mother. Why donât you drink more, Meg?â he said to her as she reached for the door handle. âDestroy everything around you.â
She glared back at him while Lily sobbed on the floor, pounding it with fists and feet. âNo. Donât go!â
Jimmy moved closer and quieted his voice. âLook at what youâre doing to her. To us.â
She glanced at the room and softened. âI canât do it, Jimmy. Itâs too hard. I ainât no good at it. Besides, it ainât what I want.â
âWell, you should have thought of that before we had a child.â
âI did.â She scowled. With the door open, she paused looking out at the neighborhood with its small homes. Many of them were shuttered with boarded-up windows.
Turning back, she said, âI deserve better than you and this broke-down house. Broke-down town. Everythingâs goddamn broke around here.â She kicked a foot forward with her tall high-heel boots as if kicking at something in her way.
âYouâre drunk, and I donât know what the hell youâre ranting about. You have to fight for what you want. It ainât just given to you.â
She stared at him with venom in her eyes, the blue a little darker. âI am sick of you telling me who I am and what I gotta do.â She swung a fist a few feet from him and then staggered down the front steps toward the driveway.
She yelled over her shoulder from the walkway, âLook at choo. A big nobody. You couldâve been somebody, but you ainât. Now donât call me none.â She stumbled to her ten-year-old blue Lincoln Continental sitting next to his black pickup truck. âIâll be in my nice apartment with my stainless-steel appliances and a view of a goddamn fountain!â
He slowed on the walk. âDo I even want to ask how you paid for it?â
âDonât choo worry about it none.â She turned to him with reddened eyes, ready to fight him and anyone else.
âI already know the answer, donât I?â
âLetâs just say I met someone real nice whoâs got a little money. Treats me better than you ever could.â
Jimmy got quiet. Money was one thing; cheating was something else.
With anger boiling inside, he said, âYou better get out of here before I do something I regret. Donât want to raise my hand, but God help me, I will.â
âYou ainât good enough for me anyways, Jim Bowen. Never have been. Regrets? Boy, thatâs all youâve got.â
The claws were out. It was nothing he or the world was doing in that moment. She wasnât even in the moment, hopping in her big sedan, but stuck in some pain that dug in deep long ago.
Opening the window, she shouted over the revving engine, âYou should have been an architect, but you ainât, and you ainât never gonna be nothinâ rottinâ in this town.â
She backed up a few feet, knocking over the garbage cans, and then turned, driving across the front lawn.
âThatâs great, Meg. Really great.â
She passed in front, flipping him the bird.
It was a Sunday night, and her dander always rose the night before work and the reminders of life and struggle.
Swallowed by their neighborâs hedges, her taillights disappeared. Now standing alone in peace, nature called to him as it sometimes did. It held him close like those skyscrapers heâd dreamed of working on since he was a boy yet can never reach.
The Jacksons, neighbors from down the block, had walked past with their sons in a stroller and averted their gaze.
Inside, Lily sobbed. Jimmy sat on the floor and leaned against the couch, stroking her golden hair. She inched over to lie on his lap.
He looked down and said, âDaddyâs never going to leave you. You understand that?â
âPromise?â Lily looked up, asking through tears.
âI promise.â
She laid her head back down on his lap as he stared off at the white wall next to the entertainment center. Images flooded his mind. Earlier in the week, Megan urged him one night after work, âLetâs run. Letâs get out of here, go to California, where the sun always shines. Or New York, where they got them buildings you love. Sell the house. Sell the truck. Letâs just go. Please, baby.â
It was late summer, a few months before the bleak grays and hard land of winter set in.
He stared at the dream life within, the vision of himselfâa life heâd be proud of. Bowen Enterprises was emblazoned upon his hardhat as he stood on scaffolding high above Milwaukee. This was the image he saw most oftenâthe life in his bones he should be living.
Engineering feats like the tapering concrete of a dam that holds back billions of gallons of water, or buildings that poke into the sky had always fascinated him, lit him up.
He wondered if she was right. Maybe they should abandon their dying Midwest town that watched over the graves and roots of his parents, to head west or east, anywhere but here.
For the fall semester, he had enrolled in an architecture program at the local community college. Heâd been saving for months. Watching those taillights fade again in his mind, the dream faded once more with them.
Thereâd be no one to watch Lily. No one to split the mortgage and bills with. Every penny would be needed to stave off the foreclosure virus thatâd spread through town like a plague. His dream was always just out of reach.
Though he wanted to be a good daddy, doing his best never felt good enough. He never felt smart enough, rich enough, or successful enough. He held on to that same fraying thread everyone else did in townâwhat was left of it. His father had served in WWII and was a factory man like him. Both of his parents had passed away. He was what was left of that heritage. His older sister had moved away long ago.
He wanted a big house with lots of windows, and a full bank account. He wanted his little girl to have toys, games, and a bicycle. He wanted a large yard and a spotted black dog named Missy. He wanted more kids and the house to be filled with laughter. His eyes closed as a smile crept cautiously across his face. He wanted to be proud of himself, building skyscrapers in Columbus, Minneapolis, Chicago, New York. He was an ambitious man. Yet, also wanting a great love story, he held on to Megan tighter than he should have.
Love in a Dying Town was overall a solid read - it had a lot of elements I thoroughly enjoy, including family life, romance, and a small town. I really love stories that are set in small towns! It's definitely one of my favorite topics to read about.
Jim was the main character, and I thought he was great. He was a fantastic father, and his relationship with his daughter, Lily, was probably my favorite thing about this novel. Their relationship was beautiful, despite all of the hardships they faced as a family. His wife, Megan, kind of sucked though. In the synopsis, it states that she has a toxic personality, and boy was that true. She annoyed me to no end. Although I found it very interesting when the author featured some chapters from Megan's point of view - instead of being the one-dimensional vindictive character I fully anticipated, she was someone who had an entire background that made her who she is. I do wish we would have seen more of that, even though I wasn't a huge fan of hers.
I expected to completely love this, and though I did enjoy the novel, it fell a little flat. I feel like some chapters were a bit jerky - one minute Jim wanted this, the next it was something different. I've never experienced a relationship like his and Megan's, so maybe I just can't empathize, or maybe it's because I'm the reader and therefore the third party and can be objective, but I just wanted to scream.
I wish it was more developed - I wanted more of the backstory of why the town was dying, and why half of the businesses were closed. What happened? When did everyone start moving? I know recessions happen and businesses go under, especially those that are small and locally-owned, but I want more information. Aside from this, the author did a fair job of world building and I really liked seeing all of the different characters living in this town.
I loved the setting of this! I thought it was great that it was set in the south, it felt right. And I really liked that it was during the 1980s - I tend to read more modern novels, so this was a very nice change of pace for me.
All in all, this was a pretty good novel, and I had a good time reading it!