Kateās innocence unravels in the sweet ecstasy of first love, but miscarriage and betrayal make her question everything she thought she knew about loveā¦
In revenge, she joins the hippie trail of the 1970s, protests the Vietnam War, and hitchhikes from Canada to Mexico. But strange words in her conscience pursue her until she must choose to return to mediocrity in her hometown or find the courage to follow Spirit where it leads.
Kateās innocence unravels in the sweet ecstasy of first love, but miscarriage and betrayal make her question everything she thought she knew about loveā¦
In revenge, she joins the hippie trail of the 1970s, protests the Vietnam War, and hitchhikes from Canada to Mexico. But strange words in her conscience pursue her until she must choose to return to mediocrity in her hometown or find the courage to follow Spirit where it leads.
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When did it all start, her search for truth, for a faith she could use as a source of power? Kateās mind skimmed back in time, the parts she endured, the parts she treasured, all so different, but all important in the quest.
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There was the first day, back in 1968, when Spirit began to manifest its presence into her being. And after that came a love so strong, she still carries the embers in the back of her heart. It was the beginning of the immeasurable expanse of intensity for what was to comeā¦.
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Chapter 1
FIRST CRAVING OF THE HEART
Kate meandered down the streets of Portlandās inner city, where shabby second-hand shops elbowed each other, and old gum dotted the sidewalks. Her steel-blue eyes followed the vertical lines of the towering buildings that reached up to pierce the sky.Ā
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What would my life be like if I lived here one day?Ā She imagined being on a rooftop, a young fledgling at the edge of the nest, poised for take-off.
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Kate was fifteen and her years of living in a small eastern town in Oregon were in sharp contrast to that dingy part of the big city landscape. She meandered off alone, leaving her mom and big sister leisurely shopping for college clothes a few blocks away. She looked around and adjusted the strap on her purse, but her mousy blonde hair and faded bell-bottoms jeans melded right in with the flow of other pedestrians.
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A sign propped up in a grimy window read, āOffice of the Salvation Army.āĀ Ha! Thatās ironic. Armies donāt save people. The soldiers drafted to fight in Vietnam are trained to kill.Ā
That thought bothered Kate because after all it was 1966 and the war had been escalating for years. Then she stopped dead in her tracks as the weathered door of the office flew open and a strange young woman burst out onto the sidewalk. She glowed with poise and glided past with an oh-so-buoyant smile.
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Kate absorbed the joy and the powerful aura radiating from the woman but where did it all come from? The young woman had on a simple T-shirt, dark jeans, and scuffed boots but worn with such artistic flair. No timidity in her presence, just bold in spirit, like she walked the earth on a glorious mission.Ā
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Her strangeness intrigued Kate in a tingling awareness.Ā Where does she get that boldness and confidence? Because what this girl hasāis what I want.
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As if in response to her thoughts, clear and simple words whispered into Kateās conscience as the young woman disappeared down the street.Ā
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~~AN~~INVITATION~~EXTENDS~~TO~~YOU~~
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Kate stood on the sidewalk and looked around. No one else was nearby, so who had spoken? Had the woman issued an invitation to herā¦subliminally? It had seemed so real. She shook her head to clear the strange thoughts but then had to backtrack fast to the dress shop where sheād left her mom and sister.
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āFor heavenās sake, where did you disappear to?ā Her mother was paying the clerk at the cash register for the college clothes her sister Anna had picked out.
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āDidnāt you find anything you liked at the store?ā Anna asked.
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Kate shook her head. Bourgeois fashion wasnāt her thing, and sheād been bored out of her mind. Besides, the hand-me-downs from her two older sisters were what she wore, anyway. Anna was leaving home for good this September, and that would make two older sisters who left to escape their parentsā constant bickering.
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Kate forgot the minor scolding for her disappearance as they left the big city for the hour-long drive back up the Columbia gorge to her hometown of Hood River. She pondered the strange invitation she had received, so vivid and real, and not one that sheād ever forget. Something significant had happened. A mysterious presence of power communicated something valuable to her. But what was it? And to what was she being invited?
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Three weeks later, on a Friday night, Kate and her two girlfriends stood on a hillside watching their schoolās football team play against the other high schoolās team in town. In the chilly autumn air, the decaying leaves of the oak trees gave off a pungent aroma.Ā
Kate stood a little apart from her friends and admired the shimmering rainbow colors in the misty rain radiating from the fluorescent lights on the football field below. Her long hair blew around in the gusty wind. Despite being dressed in her favorite warm clothes, powerful shivers crept up her spine. She watched the opposing teams line up again, hike the ball, and slam into each other again. Her schoolās team gained only a few yards toward the goalpost. She imagined the waves of movement as invisible forces of light and darkness battling against each other in the world.Ā
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Tonight, itās beginning. Kate didnāt understand how she knew that, or even what it was, but then her girlfriendās animated chatter broke the spell.
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āLook at those older guys over there watching the game,ā Leah said, nodding her head in their direction. āArenāt they dreamy?ā Leah, a small, popular brunette, just became a cheerleader for the junior team. Kateās ego had been squashed when she wasnāt chosen, even though she did a forward flip for the try-outs.
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āWhere? Oh, I see them,ā Joey giggled. āI want the dark-haired one, cause heās the cutest.ā Joey, daring and outspoken, wasnāt afraid of anything. Her dark hair flowed almost to her waist. Despite the differences between her two best friends, Kate was close to them both.
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āHey, you guys, theyāre totally checking us out,ā Leah whispered. She flung her dark hair back from her wet cheeks as the wind blew their miniskirts against the black tights they wore for the cold.
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āI doubt it. Those guys are probably in the senior class and too old to be interested in us.ā Kate was logical and more serious than her flirtatious girlfriends, but she dared to glance at the tallest guy a few yards away.
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With perfect millisecond timing, he captured her gaze, pinning her for a dozen seconds. The rain, a catalyst to their instant attraction, choose to pelt down hard then. It swirled in angry gusts, whipping Kateās blonde hair across her face as the wet, noisy squall threw her back. Still, the older boy stared, locked in on Kateās face.
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āHey,ā Joey tugged her arm, her dark hair glistening, tangled in the wind. āLetās get out of here before we get soaked.ā She pointed to the nearest shelter at the schoolās back entrance and dashed off with Leah.Ā
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But Kate hesitated, reluctant to break the magnetic pull she felt. The guy disappeared then, behind some other spectators, moving for cover. She felt the loss, until half a minute later, he was right beside her.
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āWould you like to share my umbrella?ā he said, his face less than a foot away.Ā
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Kate had to take a half-step back. When she did, she noticed the tanned square set of his jaw and the warmth in his eyes. She could smell his male scent, even in the rain. Maybe it was his aftershave.
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His black umbrella sheltered them from the sheets of rain and muffled the cheering fans. The football teams continued to block and tackle each other on the field below, yet Kateās reality shifted in the heat of the strange intimacy. Dusty Springfieldās new song āThe Look of Loveā played out in her mind as if sheād turned a radio on.Ā
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āI havenāt seen you around school before,ā he said, staring at her.
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āProbably because I donāt go to your high school in town here. I attend the one out in the valley.ā Kate struggled for composure.
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āAh, youāre one of those country girls.ā He grinned.
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She nodded and couldnāt help but smile a little. āThanks for saving me from the rain.āĀ
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āItās my pleasure.ā He tugged at the collar on his jacket and leaned toward her to introduce himself. A cheer rang out from the crowd, and they checked to see who scored.Ā
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āAre you a sophomore or junior in school?ā Mark asked after the noise quieted down.
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āNo, Iām a freshman,ā she said.
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āOh, little miss innocent,ā he teased. āIāve got this year and one more year to go.ā The conversation became comfortable after that, and they cheered their rival teams on the field.
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The angular planes of his face fit together in perfect proportion. His lower lip looked soft, and she drew closer to the warmth coming from his body. By the time the game had ended, most of the fans had already taken refuge from the storm, but she and Mark still stood alone, shivering from the cold.
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āIād better go find my ride.ā Kate drew away, but Mark was quick to take her arm. His dark eyes penetrated hers, forcing her to take a deep breath.
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āWhen can I see you again?ā he asked.
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āIām going to the teen dance tomorrow night at the Community Center.ā Kate was going to meet up with her friends, including Ron, who played defense on their football team. She had watched his stocky form earlier on the field, but now her interest in him had undergone a substantial change.
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āYouāve got a date already?ā he asked.
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āItās not really a date.ā Kate had never dated anyone before.
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āIf I show up, will I get to dance with you?ā Mark asked.
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She couldnāt help herself. Being enclosed in his arms and moving to the music would be ecstasy. āI thinkā¦ Iād like that,ā she said.
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Mark gave her a last slow smile in the parking lot, and she watched as he slipped through the crowd.Ā He probably wonāt be at the dance.Ā Still, she etched his broad shoulders into her memory, just in case.
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Kate sat up in bed wide awake that night. Powerful sensations raced through her mind. Was this part of the invitation sheād been given on the street in Portland? Mark seemed perfect, which made her wonder what would happen when they saw each other again.Ā Why would he be interested in me? My hair is a dishwater blonde. My teeth arenāt even straight.Ā
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If this was the start of something magical, could she trust the process? Her parents had loved each other once, too. She heard them arguing in the kitchen like they always did. Her dad couldnāt seem to do anything right to please her mother, and she complained about everything he did. No wonder he drank so much.
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Sometimes when their quarrels reached down the hall to her bedroom, she would run out of the house and into a nearby orchard for a good cry. But tonight, something else agitated her. Talking to Mark under the umbrella still made her pulse pound fast.Ā
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The next night, Kate met her friends at the teen dance and the loud DJ music pulsated core deep. Ron acted like she was his date and they danced to the music in wild exuberance, but between the sets of music, Kate kept glancing at the door.Ā An hour went by and then a young man appeared in the hallās entryway. His muscular legs were encased in faded blue jeans; his broad shoulders sported a navy-blue sweater. He stood and surveyed the crowd until the song had ended.
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Was that Mark? Yes.Ā Kate caught her breath, wondering what he would do.
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Mark spotted her and walked straight to them in the middle of the dance floor. The surrounding sounds seemed to fade as he came up and tapped Ron on the shoulder.Ā
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āWould you mind if I claim Kate for this next dance?ā he asked.Ā
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Ron looked at her, perplexed when she nodded her consent. āI guess not.ā He shrugged and walked off the dance floor.Ā
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The DJ played a slow record next called āThe House of the Rising Sun.ā On the first chords, Mark wrapped her up in his arms and, in perfect symmetry, swept her away into the rhythm of the song.Ā
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Kate liked the confident placement of his hands, although he held her tighter than he should. She could follow his strong lead until his arm around her back drew her in an inch closer, and then another inch again. Markās breath caressed her forehead.Ā
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They floated above the floor as the crowd receded into a blur of movement. An electrified awareness between them became stronger every minute. Kate didnāt want the music to stop or the exquisite sensations. But when it did, they ended in a final flourish and grew still.Ā
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Kateās eyes were locked on Markās. His full sensual mouth formed a lopsided smile in slow motion, causing the sexual attraction to hit her so hard she couldnāt move.
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He lowered his head and whispered in her ear, āWhatās your phone number?ā
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āBut how will you remember it?ā She was quick to give it to him anyway, and he repeated it once before Ron returned to claim her for the next dance.Ā
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Mark nodded his thanks. Then he turned and walked out through the crowd of dancers to the door without looking back.Ā
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Ron acted as if nothing had happened. She guessed for him; nothing had happened. But Kateās mind was not on dancing anymore, and the rest of the evening dragged on. Would Mark call her? Would he even remember the number she gave him?Ā
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Once Kate got home, her mind churned with anticipation. She remembered sinking into his dark brown eyes and touching the tight skin on his muscled arms.
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The next morning, the phone rang early. Kate ran to pick it up on the second ring before her mother did. It was Mark.
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āSee, I remembered your number,ā he said. āHow would you like to go for a drive with me this afternoon? Say about two oāclock?ā
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āYou have your own car?āĀ Kate could hardly believe Mark wanted to see her so soon.
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āYeah, and I earned the money to buy it too,ā Mark said with pride.
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āThatās pretty cool. Iād have to ask my parents and youād have to meet them first.ā
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āIāll put on my best manners,ā he said, teasing her.
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Kate hung up the phone and hurried to shower and wash her hair.Ā I canāt believe it. What if Iām not allowed to go out with him? It would be so embarrassing.
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Mark showed the right amount of maturity and manners to impress her parents when he arrived. He told them he worked at a gas station and assured them he was a conscientious driver, and with that, her parents consented to her first proper date.
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Mark helped her into the car and went around to the driverās seat. When he closed his car door, it was like they were under the umbrella again, only feet apart, and she didnāt know what to expect.
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āThat went okay with your mom and dad, didnāt it?ā he asked, and she agreed. He leaned over closer to her. āWhat shall we do now?āĀ
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āI donāt know.ā Kate risked a nervous glance at his profile, holding her hands in her lap. āWhat do you want to do?āĀ
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āI canāt doā¦ what Iād like to do.ā He studied her with a cocky grin. āLetās just drive around. Weāll act like weāre tourists and explore the valley going up toward Mt Hood.āĀ
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āThat sounds fun. Letās pretend weāre traveling in a foreign country.ā
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Mark drove up the east side on roads sheād never been on before. They stopped at viewpoints overlooking the rolling hills of orchards and farmland. At each intersection, heād ask which way to go, and sheād choose. As he drove, they talked about all kinds of things. They both planned to go to college; she wanted to go into social work, and he wanted to be a doctor, so grades were important to both of them.
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āI wish we went to the same school so we could see each other more,ā he said.
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āThat would be better.ā Kate agreed, elated with his projection of a future relationship. She wondered what Mark was like at his school. Was he popular? Did he have a wild reputation? She knew so little about him.
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Mark pulled over to view a beautiful farmhouse with a wide veranda. āIt looks so serene with that red barn in the background. Shall we buy the place and move in?ā he joked. āWe could become hard-working farmers on the land.ā
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Ā āThere is an old-fashioned peacefulness to it.ā Kate laughed at his roleplaying. Their real world wasnāt peaceful at all.
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āDo you think thereāll be a third world war?ā Kate worried about the young men fighting the Communists overseas in Vietnam.
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āI guess anything can happen now.ā He rubbed his forehead. āWhen Kennedy got elected as president, things seemed peaceful then.āĀ
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It was true. Kate remembered back in 1963 when somebody shot President Kennedy during a parade in Dallas. The entire country had reeled in shock. āThe patriotic speech he made sure excited my parents when they heard it on our television set. My dad kept repeating the Presidentās words over and over again.āĀ
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āYou mean the slogan they put on the billboards? āAsk not what your country can do for you but ask what you can do for your country.āāĀ
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āYeah, that one. My father ranted about how heād already done a lot, but I didnāt understand what he meant.ā
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āDid he fight overseas when he was young?ā
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āI guess he did.ā
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Ā Markās voice grew quiet. āWell, thatās what he meant.āĀ
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Kate had never thought of her father as a young man in uniform before. She hadnāt thought about war or politics until now. Mark brought her home in the late afternoon, and she agreed to see a movie with him the next weekend. At the door, he held her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers. Kate couldnāt wait to tell Leah and Joey about him.Ā
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Such peculiar things had been happening to her. First, the radiant young woman she saw on the city street, then that strange invitation extended into her heart. Now, this handsome hunk of a guy appeared. Her whole life was taking off at a galloping speed, and Kate had no idea where it was going.
As a child of the 1960s myself, I must admit that this book captured my curiosity. The author is several years younger than I am but was impacted by many of the same world-changing events that colored my world, i.e., the assassinations of JFK, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Robert Kennedy, as well as the Vietnam war.
Young Kate lives in small-town Hood River, Oregon. She's a great student and isn't much into boys, per se. One day she goes to Portland, the big city, with her mother and sister, and hears a voice talking to her, sending a mysterious invitation. She looks around and sees no one. This is foreshadows what will take place throughout the book.
Her two friends are all about boys; however, Kate doesn't flirt. She keeps to herself until she accidentally meets Mark, who turns out to be the love of her life. He's older but he treats her with respect. Most of the time they spend together is exploring nature. She's worried he will get drafted and sent to Vietnam--not an unfounded concern. I won't reveal the course of their love affair, but it's tender, true love, the kind every teenage girl hopes to find.
Kate begins to become more and more aware of things happening in the world--corporate greed, war profiteers making money at the expense of young men dying in Vietnam, government officials lying about what's happening (and whether they're really trying to stop communism in Southeast Asia. After graduation, she dabbles in all sorts of drugs, including psychedelics, She begins roaming the country with a variety of friends and different men.
The author tells a story that is part historical fiction, part reality, part autobiographical, part soul-searching, but overall, one of a young woman who doesn't quite know what to do with herself. She needs to learn how to trust, but whom? She continues to receive messages from what she calls "Spirit" throughout the book as she reflects on her life. She's searching for who she is, what she will be, who she will become.
I enjoyed the references to songs of the times as well. The music during the turbulent 1960s was almost a character unto itself.
The characters are believable and real. I cringed as the author described Kate and her friends hitchhiking from Oregon to Mexico in those days, knowing full well that young women did those things and came out of it unscathed, most of the time. Not in today's times.
In all, this book is intriguing. I am anxious to read the sequel in which Kate continues her lifelong path for who she is. I recommend this not only for children of the 1960s, such as me, but for people who want a glimpse of how the world was during the peace, love, and rock 'n' roll days.