"I PRAY ANYWAY: Reflections for the Spiritually Cranky is a book of 200 short reflections of the author as she continues a kind of prayer practice that she developed at a time in her life that was challenging. The short reflections are funny and real and poignant. The book includes narrative entries where the author shares her life and thoughts. The book begins with comments from early readers, rather than with official blurbs. They answer questions about their own spiritual/religious orientation, background, present beliefs or practices, and what reading the I PRAY ANYWAY: Reflections for the Spiritually Cranky stimulated in each of them.I PRAY ANYWAY: Reflections for the Spiritually Cranky gives voice to the growing trend of formal religions of many faiths losing membership and interest in belief of any kind. It counteracts the stance of the "nones" (a term used in the Census) for those people not affiliated with any religion. The book encourages people to "pray anyway--in spite of ambivalence about God and faith, in spite of irritation with formal religion, and in spite of the dire circumstances of our times. "
I PRAY ANYWAY: Reflections For The Spiritually Cranky gives voice to the growing historical trend of formal religions of many faiths losing membership and interest as well. This shows up on many types of research and the Census where the term “nones” originated for the those not affiliated with any religion.
I am interested in creating conversation about this profound worldwide shift in the spiritual/divine element in our lives today. I asked a few early readers to respond to three questions about their personal religious/spiritual experience and I share them here. My hope is you might respond as well. There is a form in the back of this book for you to use. I also have a Facebook page and invite you to respond there as well.
Thanks to the early readers. Here are the responses.
Joyce
1—
What was your childhood religious/spiritual background?
I was raised Catholic in a household that I did not even realize was so devout. Being the oldest of 8 should have told me something...it was the late 50’s and early 60’s. We went to church every Sunday and every holy day. When my youngest brother had meningitis twice my sister and I were expected to do a 9 week Novena. We all went to Catholic school, elementary and high school till the last 3 boys. They went to public high school-it was a block away.
Where do you now stand in your spiritual journey?
I bought into all of it and even went into the convent after high school. I lasted 2 months!! When I went to college I began to question a lot of things related to the Catholic church. I didn’t say “my faith” because I’m not really sure I ever had faith, just following.
What got activated or stimulated by reading the book?
Your books have put many of my inner thoughts into words. I have sent selected ones(prayers) to friends as inspiration, food for thought.
Donna
2—
What was your childhood religious/spiritual background?
We were read the Christmas story, taught the golden rule, and occasionally attended whatever church was closest until my brother died. Then we were all baptized in the Presbyterian church and went to Catholic mass with my grandmother.
Where do you now stand in your spiritual journey?
Liturgical calendar and Book of Common Prayer provide order and familiar ritual to life; my faith is in the mystery of the natural world and what remains unknown.
What got activated or stimulated by reading the book?
The universality of longing and joy, the absurdity and delight of life, the certainty and unacceptable comfort of death.
Kate Cauley
3—
What was your childhood religious/spiritual background?
Catholic, weekly church until I was 25
Where do you now stand in your spiritual journey?
Searching for my purpose after the loss of my spouse and life partner. I try to use my gratitude for all that I have had to comfort me but it doesn’t work all the time. I am a “to do list “ person. I use prayer when I am being thankful. I have only asked for comfort for my mom and my husband. I consider myself full of faith but believe how I live my life and treat others in an effort to improve the world is the best I can do.
What got activated or stimulated by reading the book?
You put in your book so many things I feel and wrestle with daily. I enjoyed it and read it immediately after you sent it.
I enjoyed the book, I love to be hooked.
4—
What was your childhood religious/spiritual background?
I was baptized and confirmed into the Episcopal Church and attended it till I was about 13.
Where do you now stand in your religious/spiritual journey?
I am an atheist. First an agnostic but now an atheist
What got activated or stimulated by reading the book?
Thoughts of Joyce’s path through her life.
More interested in fellow human beings than spirituality
5—
What was your childhood religious/spiritual background?
Episcopal - every Sunday. Mother a Sunday School teacher. Father a member of Vestry. Volunteer hours at the thrift store and pancake breakfasts, and taking church flowers to hospitalized church members and sharing a visit. I had my Church/Sunday friends. I remember more about stinky used clothes, sticky maple syrup, my mother putting her lessons together, my father staying up late studying the numbers and trying to pay the fuel bills
for the big church with a small congregation, my best
“Church” friend named Julie, and the Sunday afternoon hospital visits, than I remember anything about theology. The message I got was illustrated: God was in community, care and service.
Where do you now stand in your spiritual journey?
I still can find peace and transcendent moments in a church but rarely go. I whole-heartedly object to use of religion as a weapon and how it has been politicized for private gain. I run to the mountains for what’s real and find God in nature.
What got activated or stimulated by reading the book?
I related to the big and small of it all. I relate to the grounding in a post-middle-age time of life. I love phrases such as, “Prayer like a toothpick in front of a train” talking about holding hope, and the easy excuse of distraction, “What a crafty coward.” The language of some devotions are like a love child of Jack Kornfield and Erma Bombeck. I also liked how some devotions took aim at the modern rush to feel and express gratitude (a silver bullet - yay!) and how some devotions seemed to let me off the hook (thank you!), but then others held my feet to the fire and didn’t let me look away (darn it!).
A Sister Sojourner
6—
What was your childhood religious/spiritual background?
Catholic
Where do you now stand in your spiritual journey?
I continue to practice however have some issues with some of the “social” aspects of the faith
What got activated or stimulated by reading the book?
The thoughts about being at peace, having everything
I need, but then wondering do I really? What more can
I be doing to make the world better? Praying more, doing more? It also reminded me that sometimes I pray and I “ask” for something when I should be “giving thanks” for something I already have.
Chris Norton
7—
What was your childhood religious/spiritual background?
My Father was Catholic and would attend early mass alone then accompany my Mother and us 3 children to our 11 a.m. Sunday Presbyterian sermon. This Sunday event was as much a ritual as fish on Friday or laundry on Mondays.
Where do you now stand in your spiritual journey?
My agnostic thoughts started when I was around 18 years of age. I became a card-carrying atheist at 28. I envy those who are able to make the leap of faith and wonder what it must be like to believe my lifes’ triumphs and tragedies are all part of a god’s plans.
What got activated or stimulated by reading the book?
For all those years of attending church, I never learned about prayer. I knew people closed their eyes and bowed their heads, but what happened next was always a mystery to me. This book made me think perhaps I’ve been “praying” all along and just not looking for anyone or anything outside of myself to solve or fix or intervene.
A Proud Learner!
8—
What was your childhood religious/spiritual background?
I was raised Catholic. My mother brought us to church; my father attended confirmation.
Where do you now stand in your spiritual journey?
No congregation or particular community. I find organized religion limiting. At peace with with where I am and need/want to continue my spiritual growth.
What got activated or stimulated by reading the book?
So many things. Your words are beautiful, haunting, resonating with so many of my own and serve as a calling for me to write, to go inward, to find both the now and the meaning of what’s next in this precious life.
With Hope
INTRODUCTION
When I wrote I PRAY ANYWAY: Devotions for the Ambivalent, I had no idea that I was part of a global trend. It turned out that I was expressing a voice that was just beginning to be heard. The voice belongs to the Nones— the religiously non-affiliated as captured in the census and various studies of the changing religious landscape. This oddly named cohort group includes people who are disillusioned with formal religion, people who say they are spiritual but not religious and people who are indifferent to the spiritual aspect of life, preferring a social activist or humanist commitment to bettering life for all.
I grew up part of a Methodist churchgoing family (lots of potluck dinners) and, yet, I hadn’t been to church for over forty years when I started my devotional prayer practice. I often felt a vague discomfort that I couldn’t Identity that lay somewhere between vague guilt and spiritual hunger. I ignored the unease and buried it in a very busy life—five kids, my work as a global executive, and a husband who worked as a couples’ therapist and author.
My return to a prayer practice (my kind of prayer) got activated by a personal family event. A big one. I prayed and the prayer was answered. So I felt honor-bound to pray in return—in gratitude and as part of my very transactional deal with God in the heavens. Quid Pro Quo.
I started my prayer practice by reading many devotional books from many sources and religions. I read using my iPad, in bed with a cup of coffee in a red mug. I have a thing for red mugs. The red mug became part of my ritual. It still is. I cradle the cup of coffee in both hands and read until struck by a quote. Then I hang out with it.
Eventually, I began to capture what stood out for me in short reflections, not really prayers and not really poems. Just my response. I wrote with my eyes shut and only on the iPad and in the moment of devotion. That’s my prayer practice to this day.
I occasionally found a sweet spot of prayer. And, just as often, I found nothing but words. A prayer practice is like any ritual or exercise. You get out of it what you put in. You have to show up. My reflections show the ups and downs and the internal wrestling that goes on in my prayer practice.
I am curious about prayer and its power and the source of the power. There is turmoil at this time in so many of our institutions. We live in a time in which old forms fall away and new ones are not yet created. So we have to find our own way. I love the author Phyllis Tickle (and her name). She highlights that about every five hundred years, our religious institutions (and others) need to have a garage sale and throw out the old and broken, and save what is absolutely essential to make room for the new that is being created. I am relieved and hopeful to see the historic background of my personal unrest and exploration.
Here’s what I know now that I didn’t when I published my first book I PRAY ANYWAY: Devotions for the Ambivalent:
• I know prayer has power
• I believe in Godness, but not the God in the sky
• I know my prayer practice gives me a still sweet safe spot that is love.
• My life is richer, deeper, steadier with prayer practice • There is more joy, maybe not happiness, but joy.
• I still have lots of lousy days.
As I write, my town of Cape Elizabeth, Maine will be in lock-down starting in two hours due to the pandemic, Corona Virus. As you read this, I know you have your own story of job loss, illness, anxiety, wondering if we can be good enough to one another as a globe to bring this devastation to a halt.
I am, you are, part of a historic upheaval. We live in the in-between. We who “pray anyway” are doing our bit to preserve the essence while we explore and create the new forms for the sacred as well as how to live together in a profoundly connected globe. No wonder we are sometimes spiritually cranky and our souls need soothing!