Health & wellbeing

I Married A Dick Doctor Who Fixes Women Too


This book will launch on Feb 17, 2021. Currently, only those with the link can see it. 🔒

The numbers are staggering, and nobody wants to talk about it. More than half the men in this country are affected at some point in their lives by erectile dysfunction. Too many men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer or have difficulty trying to pee. Women are not far behind with persistent problems being sexually aroused, achieving orgasm or dealing with pain during sex. Mix it all together and you end up with a lack of desire. Throw in plumbing problems like incontinence for both sexes and now you see the need to almost laugh and cry at the same time. But, don’t do that or you might leak!

Although this is no laughing matter, urology will be the most entertaining conversation you will have with your closest friends. Throw in this book and you will laugh out loud, while at the same time getting the answers to how things down there get fixed.

This book is gentle enough for every man to read, funny enough for every woman to enjoy, and educational enough to give a copy to everyone you know.

How did this happen to me?

Here’s my typical day:

• Erectile dysfunction inquiry on aisle 6 next to the whole

wheat bread.

• Leaky vagina after orgasm question in the parking lot of

the high school.

• Obvious prostate interruptions in the middle seat, Row 8,

followed by an hour-long conversation about all the urinary

trouble he’s been having for the last two years.

And I love it all! Who knew that I could warm up to all things penis and vagina without blushing or breaking a sweat at the mere mention of those words? It is fascinating to me that perfect strangers somehow discover that I am married to a dick doctor and ask for my help with their most intimate problems. I am not sure why people from all walks of life, and sometimes perfect strangers, would be brave enough to disclose their most personal urological issues to me. Perhaps it is because I am quick to share a smile or a quick friendly conversation? As a genuinely


kind person who is always willing to help, I have had the most wonderful human experiences with people everywhere. Making human connections and showing love for other human beings is truly the best part of my life.

Throughout my days in my small town I am often spotted by my husband’s patients, both past and present. Just to give you an example of how it goes down, let me share with you what happens when I am innocently waiting for my coffee in line at Starbucks. While standing in line like everyone else, yearning for that first hot beverage of the day, I am bored and looking around and fidgeting on my smartphone. As I glance out the window, I see a familiar truck pull into the parking lot. As the gentleman gets out of his car, I know exactly who he is and remember when he shared with me his difficult urological situation in the same line at Starbucks. Immediately, I start praying that he will not head right for me and stop to ask another penis question that he wants me to run by my husband.

I turn around quickly so he cannot see my face, and as I do, I run right smack into the bakery lady from our local grocery store, who was immediately happy to see me. My panic was only obvious to me as I managed to plaster on a warm and friendly smile to make her comfortable as she approached. She always makes it a point to seek me out at the grocery store to say hello, hug me as though I am her favorite daughter, and tell me how appreciative she is of my husband and all his help. She recently told me she was scheduled to see my husband and have her pelvic prolapse issue fixed. Today, it just happened to be in line at Starbucks.

Still in line for coffee, the bakery lady tells me that she had been to all of her appointments with my husband and was hopeful that he was going to be able to fix the pelvic prolapse issue plaguing her for years.

I must admit that I do love people. It was the penis and vagina part of these encounters that always had me sweating and forced me to deal with my modesty. I have come to understand that this is simply another one of my shortcomings. I am not a doctor, but a woman taking care of kids and parents and a demanding husband, who is never home because he has the ability to fix everything that has to do with everyone’s plumbing. This is no light load to carry in this lifetime. It can be tough when everyone in line at Starbucks is listening in, so the next time they see me, they too can come up and share their urological issues in hopes of finding help for either themselves or someone they love.

As the years have gone on and hundreds of people have approached me, it makes me stop and think how much pee is flowing on the planet. The volume of people that seek me out like a heat-seeking missile to access the man who can fix their pee problems has made me want to stand up and shout out to the world that there is help for your plumbing problems.

If anyone would have told me 20 years ago that this would be my life as a doctor’s wife, I would have run the other direction and never looked back. I am now up to my neck in small-town living, where privacy is hard to come by and everyone somehow knows my husband is a reconstructive urologist who fixes penises and vaginas. I have been sucked into the vortex of all things urological through marriage to a doctor. What has surprised me the most is that I know nothing about urology but have heard some great stories that have touched me in some way or flat out made me laugh.

Through all the human interactions and urological stories, I always remember how important it is to be kind and compassionate. As a result, I have learned a lot about urology along the way. However, I still secretly laugh my ass off and ask the Dick Doctor what I think must be stupid questions about all things urology. He assures me that no question is stupid when it comes to trying to understand my own plumbing or his.

All this new knowledge in my head has led me to believe that perhaps I am just like everyone who approaches me with caution because this subject matter is not something that is normally discussed. I can relate to them and their potential stress about a urological medical condition. Through this twisted path of kindness and urine, I have come to learn that I truly care, and I do love being able to help people from all walks of life in some small way, whether it has to do with pee pee or not.

So why do I open myself up to strangers and welcome their inquiries with a warm and friendly demeanor? Because I have come to learn something special about myself. I am a deep and loving soul, and I am learning that it is okay to talk about this, too.

This journey of finding myself through my random acts of kindness toward others is really a story about my love of helping and healing and making the world a better place one person at a time. I do care about people and I want people to know that they matter. I do that every time someone comes up to me for help with their urological problems. I take time out wherever I am and whatever I am doing to stop and listen.

It’s not always convenient because most of the time I am trying to take care of my family. However, I understand that it takes tremendous courage to come up to me with such intimate information in an effort to somehow get help.

Perhaps open conversations about urology are one area where I can help to make a difference and help heal intimate relationships. When any close relationship is strained, it can result in stress and isolation. Urological problems can be incredibly isolating because it’s not easy to talk about your pee or your penis or your vagina. Those three words alone can be devastating.

Without going to medical school, I have been put in a position where I believe I can have a positive impact on people’s lives by simply being a directional sign with a friendly smile and a warm heart. I have learned a great deal through other people’s urological problems as I try to connect them to the true healer, the Dick Doctor. I am grateful for the opportunity to be kind in a way that will somehow make the world a better place one person, and one penis or one vagina, at a time.

So enough about me, let’s get on with some urological stories and the fixes available for both men and women that can change lives for the better. We’ll have some good laughs together while learning the truth about our own plumbing, what happens when it fails, and what to do about it.

About the author

Madeline Zech Ruiz has an MBA and is the mother of two kids and takes care of her aging parents. She is the wife of the Dick Doctor and has been living at the University of Bladder, Uterus, Penis, and Vagina for the last 20 years with her reconstructive urologist husband. view profile

Published on December 01, 2020

40000 words

Genre: Health & wellbeing