Flora is a young black woman living in Miami with her two best friends, Gemini and Xylia. They are in a relationship that involves BDSM. She longs for what they have, a person who loves you for you and respects her boundaries. After leaving an abusive BDSM relationship, she has been wary of the men who pursue her. With nightmares of her ex plaguing her at night, Flora can't seem to catch a break. She wants a man who will respect, love, and dominate her. If only she knew the man's name that swept her off her feet.
Alexei Semenov is the leader of the Russian Mafia and has complete control over the United States. For years his mother has been telling him about a girl who would be perfect for him. When his mother brings this mystery girl up in conversation, he tells her he doesn't have the time for a relationship. Alexei doesn't have time for love. He needs to find Adriel and end his four-year war before he loses everything. So when he meets the girl of his dreams at a dance club in the heart of Miami the night before his parent's ball, Alexei is stunned.
The nights have grown silent lately. This time of year haunts me, dragging old and painful memories from the deep, cold depths of my pocket dimension of Hell. Thoughts of him returning plague me as I place the pan in the oven. Paranoia attempts to trick me into thinking he knows where I am. When I left, I made sure not even my family knew where I had gone. My phone vibrates on the marble counter. Flipping it around, I notice a message pop up on the screen. We’re here. Open the door. I sprint from the kitchen, over the couch, and to the door. Gemini is mid-knock when I swing the door open. Xylia and Gemini are hugging, shivering from the cold temperature in the hallway. I smile and move aside to let them in. They both rush into the living room, drop their stuff and warm up by the fireplace. I chuckle at the sight. The landlord always has the hallways cool this time of year because he hates being hot. I don’t try to rationalize his move to Florida to keep my sanity.
“We brought the ice cream you requested. Did you make the nachos as you promised?” Gemini looks expectantly with hope sparkling in his eyes. He and Lia plop themselves on my couch and share my favorite blanket.
“Yes, now get your blanket Gem, you know this one is off-limits, you scoundrel.” I rip the blanket off of them and relax into my recliner. Gemini offenses and pouts in response.
She’s so fucking mean.” He complains, Lia shakes her head trying to hide a grin. Lia asked me last minute today about having a movie night. I always plan my week and so tonight I was going to watch The Gilmore Girls and eat Italian food. I can honestly say it stressed me out but not Lia, she never plans anything. Lia rides along with fate, no questions asked. I wish I could relax and ride the coast like her sometimes.
“I am not, and also Lia next time can plan something instead of making last-minute plans? You know it stresses me out.” She shrugs her shoulders and cuddles into Gemini. “Do you plan anything ahead of time?” before she can answer Gemini smirks.
“You know she doesn’t Flora, my pet doesn’t plan.” Lia smacks his chest with the back of her hand, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, what movie are we watching tonight, Lia?”
“I don’t know, it’s Flora’s turn to pick. Flora, what would you like to watch?” I shrug my shoulders, feeling myself falling into subspace. Snuggling closer into the recliner, Lia smiles softly noticing the change. I struggle with making decisions in this state. Sometimes I feel like a burden because I don’t have a dominant to care for me. Gemini and Lia have both told me they don’t mind. I appreciate them with my whole heart. Every night I lay my head down, my heart yearns for a partner. Someone who will love me for me and not have sex, will pay attention to me, do nice things for me, respect me and my foundries, and treat me like a person.
“Do you want to watch a romance or a comedy?” Gemini asks. In times such as these, I wish I had a dominant as Lia does. Gemini and Xylia have been together for three years. They met when Xylia and I went dancing at this jazz club. Gemini and Xylia danced all night after meeting at the bar. They’ve been together ever since. I want to be in love with someone. I want a man to take me dancing just because he knows I love to go dancing. Sometimes I feel like that man doesn’t exist. Most men I’ve met don’t want to go at my pace and fall in love. They want to fuck me and leave right after. Maybe the man I crave doesn’t exist and I just have to settle. I hope this isn’t true.
“Can we watch a comedy, I’m not really into the whole romance thing right now.” Gemini and Lia give me sad looks and nod. The timer in the kitchen goes off and I excuse myself, making my way to the kitchen. Lia follows behind me. As I place the nacho dish on the stove, Lia leans against the counter next to me. I can feel the concern oozing off her in waves. Tonight is supposed to be fun, I don’t want it to turn into “Pity Flora” night.
“Are you doing okay, Lo? You love romance, you pick romance movies all the time.” It’s true, I love romance. Lately, I haven’t been able to stomach them. I get sad and in a mood after they’re over. Tonight I just want to laugh and hang out with my friends. I don’t want to sulk or cry because I’m slowly giving up on love.
“I’m okay, I just don’t vibe with them these days.” I’m hoping she’ll just drop the subject.
“Lo, honey, you can always talk to me. I know you’ve had some bad experiences with men. One day you will find your soulmate and he will be everything you need.” I appreciate her kind words, I wish I believed her. I doubt there is a man who will give me everything I need.
“Thanks, but I doubt it, I’m okay though.” I’m lying, all I’ve wanted since I was fifteen is to fall in love with a man who takes me out dancing, wants to have children, and grow old together. Even if it doesn’t happen, I’m going to be okay.
Lia and I bring the snacks and drinks out to the living room. Gemini is still on the couch only now, he’s flicking through channels and free movies. We end up picking a movie that just came out.
We are in the middle of the movie when Gemini gets a text, Lia and I both ignore him until he gasps loudly and sits up.
“Gem, what’s wrong?” I was very startled by his sudden reaction. He doesn’t answer, he just starts smiling and jumping up and down on the couch.
“My love, tell us what’s going on.” Lia says with confusion etched on her face and a hand in his shoulder.
“Alexei is coming home for the ball and he’s staying for two days. The first day is for meetings and the second day is for the ball. He’s leaving in the morning, which sucks ass but I didn’t think he’d come this year since he’s moving out of the country. After he moves, we won’t see him for five more years because he’s moving his main office to his new country.” I have never met Alexei. I’ve heard stories and read about him in the news, but photos of him are very hard to come by because he is very careful to maintain his privacy. He never stays for long and this time he’s leaving for a long time. I have never attended one of Gemini’s parent’s annual balls before because I wasn’t interested in being surrounded by rich people, who will just stand around talking business all night. I don’t want to go this year but I want to meet Alexei just once. Something in me is telling me that if I don't, I'm going to regret it for the next five years.
“When is the ball?” I inquire. Gemini and Lia look at me as if I’m crazy. They usually beg me to come. Lia even shows me dresses that she picked out and tells me to she going to drag me to the ball every year. Ever since we were old enough to go, Gemini’s mom has told me that I should rub elbows with the elite. She would tell me that creating these relationships could help me go to art school or get my work in a gallery. My anxiety has always kept me from going, but now I have a couple of reason to go.
“Lo, you want to attend the ball this year? Why the sudden change of heart?” Lia uses her fake surprise voice and smirks at me.
“I have never met Gem’s brother and I think that I should meet him at least once. Honestly, curiosity is killing me.” Gemini smiles at my response. He always begs me to go every year and I always tell him I’ll go next year.
“The ball is in a week. We will have this whole week to make preparations and buy our outfits. I will find you a date so you aren’t lonely the whole night and we will get ready at Gem’s house. From there we will ride together and have a great night.” Xylia explains. This all sounds very intense and I’m nervous. I don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of very powerful people. I can’t imagine the humiliation of saying or doing something stupid in front of the country’s most elite individuals. I could never show my face again, my career in art would be ruined before it even began.
We finish the movie and clean up our mess. After we say our goodbyes, I’m left alone with myself for the rest of the night. I’m not fond of alone time. At night, I have to sleep and sleeping is a chore more than a pleasure. I decide to head to bed anyway and turn out the lights.
The room is dark and quiet. The binds on my wrists and ankles are way too tight. The bed is soft and comfy but the pain from the binds is distracting me. The music in the headphones is loud and the gag is tight as well. My anxiety is terrible, I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m so scared and uncomfortable. I pull the restraints thrice to show him I don’t feel comfortable. We said that the pulling will be my non-verbal safe word, he should stop now. Hands move down my thighs, I jerk away as best as I can. The music gets slightly louder as punishment. My ears are aching and my head is pounding. Another pair of hands slap my breasts and pinch my nipples too hard. I know this is his kink but I wasn’t told we’d be going full throttle. He’s supposed to be easing me into what he likes and adjusting to my hard limits. My chest feels as though it’s caving in from all the fear and anxiety. I gasp even though I can’t hear it. I don’t feel safe, why are there two people touching me? It was supposed to be just us. I never agreed to more partners, why did he bring more people?
My heartbeat increases and I start to sob, I want this to end. A slap is descending on my left cheek. Something extremely hot is being poured on my stomach; wax. I don’t like wax. It hurts and my skin is sensitive. Please someone make it stop! I pray over and over again. I scream as loud as I can with the gag in my mouth. My mouth is dry and my throat hurts. The wax is cleaned off me and I am turned over on my stomach. No please don’t spank me. He does it too hard and I bleed after. My stomach, breasts, and chest hurt. Lashes start to rain down on my back and ass. I hate this, every Friday night he does this to me. I can’t leave, he’ll find me or hurt people I love. Last time he spread rumors about me around the school.
I startle awake and sob instantly. I hate these nightmares, I have them every night. Why can’t I just have one night of restful sleep? Why am I not deserving of rest? I am tormented by these memories every day. I check my nightstand clock, 2:49 am. I have to work at 8:00 am. I turn to my other side and force sleep to overcome me so I’m not exhausted in the morning.
He throws me into the wall, watching me slide down it and land on the floor. I place my hand on my stomach to protect my baby. His loud stomps make me jump as they hit the ground. His screaming is muffled from him punching me in the head so many times. My ears are ringing and he kicks my hand. My nose and lip are busted and my head is bleeding. His parents are out of town this weekend and I can’t leave until Sunday night, that’s a rule. More punches land on my body and kicks crash into my stomach. I pray that my baby is okay. In this moment I wish I could go back in time and not tell him about the baby.
Ringing sounds in my ears increase in volume and I’m losing consciousness. Before I blackout, warm liquid flows down my legs and it is at this point I knew he’d killed my baby. My poor innocent child has been murdered by their father. Part of me is glad he won’t father my first child and I won’t have to keep him in my life. The other part mourns the loss of the baby I so desperately wanted to keep. I would’ve cared for and loved the child. Since I was a little girl I had a love for babies and wanted to be a mother when I grew up. I had names and genders picked out. Now it all seems like it was for nothing.
My alarm wakes me up. I drag myself to the bathroom, shower, brush my teeth, and do my business. I put on my uniform and head to work. Today I’m going to need coffee if I’m going to make it the whole day. Sometimes I wonder what my baby would be doing right now. I think they would’ve been a girl. She would be three right now and probably running around. She would have my dark brown hair and brown skin a mix of me and her father. She’d have brown eyes and long curly hair. She’d have her father's nose and the good parts of him. My heart aches when I think of my lost baby. I wish I had the chance to be their mother and I hope they know I tried to protect them.
I drag through the day caring for the dog and cats at the shelter. My favorite dog, Mini, is jumping up and down yapping in her cage. She’s a Maltese mix and is a senior dog. If I could afford it, I’d adopt her but I barely afford my needs and bills. Many dogs and cats are seniors. Some of them have been here their whole lives and others were surrendered by their owners. Yesterday a pair of chihuahuas were surrendered by a nice young girl around my age that found them on her front lawn. One was injured and the other was seemingly healthy.
My boss asked me to take a vacation since I work so much. It’s not even like I have to, I just don’t have anything better to do after work. I also love my job. These animals cure my depression every day for a few hours. I’m walking to my car when my phone buzzes. Can you meet me at the bookstore when you get off, I need some girl talk, please. Xylia texted me ten minutes ago. Of course honey. I’m on my way. I text back.
Whatever is going on, it seems serious. I hurry over to the bookstore where she works and parks the car. Speed-walking into the store I see her sitting in the back at a table with her head down. Her thick curly hair is a dead giveaway. I quicken my pace and sit down across from her. When she senses my presence, her head pops up. She looks as if she’s been crying all day. Her makeup is dripping down her beautiful dark brown-skinned face and her hair is a mess.
“Hey Lia, what happened? You seem very upset.” My frown deepens and my heart sinks as I watch fresh tears fall on her face.
“It’s fucking Gemini! We were talking about how we felt in the relationship and our goals. I brought up marriage and how I want kids. He then shuts down and walks away! I gave him some time to gather himself and tried to discuss how he was feeling three hours later. He blew up at me for pressuring him into marriage and left. I’m worried he doesn’t want me anymore. He doesn’t come home a lot and I spend most nights alone.” How is this possible? Both of them can’t sleep without the other there. Where is he at night?
“He never wants to have sex or do scenes with me. Then when we do, he doesn’t even wanna do our usual aftercare routine. He’s pulling away from me and I don’t know how to fix it! I’m losing the love of my life and it doesn’t seem like he cares that he’s losing me too. He also will leave my messages unread for days at a time.” She breaks down completely after her rant and all I can do is get up and hug her. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through as a submissive being neglected by her dominant. Gemini has always been a good dominant to her, this is very out of character for him.
“Lia, I’m sure you aren’t losing him. Maybe he’s spooked about that level of commitment. He loves you so much and you love him the same. He may just need time to sort through his emotions. I’m so sorry you have to go through this, no sub should.” I start to lightly cry as well, seeing her so distraught over this makes me sad. I hate when she cries like this.
“Let’s talk about something happy. Let’s go to the club tonight and go dancing.” She suggests. We haven’t been out dancing in so long. Excitement bubbles up in my body, causing me to bounce in my seat. I nod my head frantically.
“Yes! Let’s go dancing tonight, we can go to our favorite club, we’ve been so busy and haven’t gone in too long. We can go as a group, it’ll give you guys a chance to have fun together and leave the stress at home. I can’t wait, we can get ready at your house and leave at ten.”
We settle on the plan and call Gem to let him in on it. He agrees and asks to speak with Lia alone, so I go and browse the books while they talk. It seems like they got new books today, some of which I’ve had on my list for a while. When I’m done checking out the books, Lia comes up to me with a smile on her face and I can tell they made up in some sort of way. Gemini needs to get his shit together before Xylia gets sick of it.
I knock on the door and wait for someone to open up. It’s freezing outside and I just want to put my bag down and go dancing. Finally, the door opens and reveals Gemini smiling down at me. I offer a smile back and push my way into the warm house, He chuckles and shakes his head. I keep in mind that he and I need to talk about his recent behavior, but tonight we’re going to have fun.
“Is it that cold outside that you can’t say hi before mowing me over to enter my home?” he jokes.
“Gem, it’s colder than my freezer out there. There was no energy to say hi, but hey friend.” I laugh and plop my bag down on their couch.
“Well, Lia is upstairs. She just got out of the shower. Get up there before she comes and drags you up there herself. I’ll get ready in the guest suite.” I take that as my cue to jog up the stairs and burst into Lia and Gem’s room. Lia jumps high in the air and places a hand over her heart.
“Jesus, Flora you scared the shit out of me. Why did you come in here like that?” she shrieks.
“I thought I should hurry, you know how you get. Plus, you do it all the time at my house, this is payback.” We both laugh and hug. She starts on my hair and makeup first. As she is oiling my locs, I go into deep thought about Alexei. I want to know more about him so I am better prepared when I meet him at the ball. What is it like to be in a room with him? Is he scary or is he inviting?
“Lo, what are you thinking about so hard over there? Your face is all scrunched up.”
“Have you ever met Alexei, what’s he like?”
“Yes, he was intense, to say the least. He’s polite and quiet, he doesn’t speak unless he’s spoken to directly. He seemed more comfortable observing and analyzing his environment. He is a very intimidating man to be in the presence of. You feel his gaze no matter where you are in the room. His energy demands recognition. He will render you speechless, he is very intelligent. He has a very dominant aura that pulls you in.” Her description of him makes me anxious to meet him. I want to experience this for myself.
After we were done, Gemini called a car service. As we arrived, I headed to the dance floor and My friends grabbed a table within my eyesight. It felt amazing to finally get to dance in a club again. I was so in my world, that I didn’t notice most of the men watching me. The song changes from a fun dance song to a sensual one. I shake my hips to the music and soon I feel hands wrap around my waist. The scent of expensive cologne invades my nose and I become addicted.
The man is a very good dancer. He spins me around to face him and I am face to face with nothing sort of a Norse God descendant. This giant of a man is wearing a t-shirt and jeans, his tattoos painted so strategically down his arms and up to his neck. He pulls me in close and I lose the ability to think straight, I follow his lead now. His fingers rub small circles on the small of my back. His piercing green eyes study my brown ones. I take this time to study his beautiful face. His ears are peaked at the top, they remind me of fairies. His full lips part and he licks his lips. My eyes follow the action and my panties are now soaked. Fuck who is this man? How is he so fucking hot and everything I’ve seen in my wet dreams at night? He lowers his head and kisses my neck all over. I shudder at the sensation. If he wasn’t holding me I would’ve fallen. I lean my head away to give him more access. His head lifts to my ear and I feel his breath on the shell of my left ear.
“Good girl, darling. You are such a talented dancer, baby.” He whispers in my ear and lifts his head from my ear. Lust rushes through me in waves. My breath quickens as he leans in. His lips are so full and soft. Everyone and everything falls away and it’s just me and him in this building right now. My body responds to him so quickly. My hands find their way into his hair. He grunts in approval and I grip a bit harder. This makes him tighten his hold on me. He has the softest hair I have ever run my hands through. He tastes like mint and whiskey. He licks my lips, asking for entrance that I eagerly grant him. He is gentle with me but his hold is firm. I feel as his hands travel down to my ass, he grips both cheeks tightly. It’s as if he was claiming me as his for all the other men in the club watching, warning them to not even try. He is the one to break the kiss. My mystery man kisses my forehead and leaves me on the dance floor by myself in a daze.
The man of my dreams took my first kiss. My ex-boyfriend never kissed me. He said I had to earn it, I guess I never proved myself worthy. Fuck, I didn’t even get his name. Where did he even go? I walk to the table Lia and Gemini are sitting laughing. Lia passes me a drink and kisses my cheek. We drank a bit before deciding to call it night. As I get ready for bed, I wonder who that man was. Will I meet him again? Was the connection I felt real or was it the heat of the moment? I grab some dinner, do my night routine, and head to bed. I dreamed about my mystery man who stole my first kiss on the dance floor tonight.