A sequel of sorts to the previous book of poems, these poems served as more therapy. If anyone can relate to the ever-present search of trying to find one's place in the world, searching for the missing piece that will fill that void of emptiness or simple feeling of unsettlement, this is for you. These are my innermost thoughts, journaled into poems and at times songs, random thoughts, and bursts of inspiration. As we each experience the hardships and beauty of our lives, there isn't a day that something won't inevitably inspire or trigger some reaction. Each poem is a reaction, an evocation of something that has happened, been said, felt. We may always be searching for happiness, but at least we can search for it and learn from each other together. These, are my heart confessions.
A sequel of sorts to the previous book of poems, these poems served as more therapy. If anyone can relate to the ever-present search of trying to find one's place in the world, searching for the missing piece that will fill that void of emptiness or simple feeling of unsettlement, this is for you. These are my innermost thoughts, journaled into poems and at times songs, random thoughts, and bursts of inspiration. As we each experience the hardships and beauty of our lives, there isn't a day that something won't inevitably inspire or trigger some reaction. Each poem is a reaction, an evocation of something that has happened, been said, felt. We may always be searching for happiness, but at least we can search for it and learn from each other together. These, are my heart confessions.
now that you’ve killed me, pieces of me will always lay in fragments.
***
and if i pluck a star from the sky, will it still shine for me?
will it light my path? burn bright in the midst of the smoky darkness around me?
***
sometimes my soft underbelly shows
i try to hide it
but i’m stuck flailing around
***
block out the hurt in your heart
cease your mind from reeling
close your ears to cruel lips uncaring
and move through the world shielded
***
in a world of endless possibilites
you are my light at the end of the tunnel
i look to you
***
i am deathly afraid
of the thought
that i could love you more
than you could ever love me
***
i am struck speechless by your commanding voice
you steal my breath with every move
your grace is undeniable
even your flaws are a comfort
and my love for you grows by the second
damn, i wanna be like you
***
i should bless you with my presence
at least then you’d know what goals are
***
i’m a badass nasty woman
don’t you ever fucking forget it
***
i want to sink into your arms
your heartbeat is the sweetest lullaby
kiss me on my cheek
and say you love me
kiss me
and give me life
***
if i could hear half the sweet song people heart when i open my soft cherry lips
maybe i could bear to love myself a little bit harder
***
your love is like a thousand rays of sunshine
i yearn to bask in its warmth
***
breathe in the sadness and pray they don’t see the tears
shroud yourself in faux confidence and show them your mask
one day they’ll wonder, what did i miss?
one day you’ll whisper, “everything.”
Heart Confessions: still searching for happy is the new poetry collection from Honeychilee Brown. Following her debut, One day I'll be happy, Heart Confessions comes in at 84 pages, with poems that focus on the author's mental health battle and the ongoing journey to find self-acceptance in a challenging world.
Writing in the preface, Brown describes her process in crafting the poems in this book, and what brought her to the desk for a second time. "This…was a love child that spawned from the brief outpouring of positive reactions to the first book of poems I released. Seeing that my poetry meant something to someone and touched someone, touched me. I thought, someone gives a damn about my words....I didn’t craft it in the same way with time stamps or dates as last time, but I went by feeling." This outpouring of time and personal investment to the craft can be witnessed across all the poems, with titles such as "Dedicated to the pieces of my heart.", "happy ever after are fairy tales.", and "quiet before you upset." providing a striking first impression of the tone of voice that is to follow in the book.
The reading process of Heart Confessions is by no means easy. As the full title gives insight to, the poems themselves expose themselves to raw and bitter emotions, feelings that are best avoided for anyone going through their own mental health challenges. The formatting of the poems vary, from those that last a couple of lines, to meaty poems that carry over onto a second page. Regardless of their length, the harsh tone carries throughout and are often directed at an unnamed individual or body that exists beyond the page. The subject matter is nearly always focused on the headspace of the author herself, as opposed to broader topics of conversation or scenarios. This narrow viewpoint can leave a reader wanting for more variety. The angry tone can feel a bit repetitive.
Hopefully Heart Confessions was a cathartic book for Brown to produce, to share with her nearest and dearest as part of her own process towards recovery. However, to view this objectively and as a book seeking to casting its net to new audiences, it is not something that holds universal appeal. Ultimately there is simply not enough light to cancel the dark.
AEB Reviews