DiscoverSelf-Help & Self-Improvement

From Victim to Victor


Loved it! 😍

A book that is truly an eye opener. For some, unlucky enough to have grown up under a narcissist parent's spell it can even be a life saver.

A narcissist is never wrong. So, within a dysfunctional family or relationship frame she/he is never the one to blame, never the one to admit or even realise that everything is not perfect, and never the one to seek help to fix things. That is why there is no first-hand research in Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Only the testimonies of its survivors and only if they are lucky enough to come across the term, become aware of its traits and find the strength to escape it.


It is a relationship unlike any other that only people who have experienced and broken free from it can understand and believe. So, the first thing that Dr. Jansen's book immediately accomplishes is to alleviate some of the heavy burden of loneliness and self-doubt the victims feel. The second and perhaps most important in the long run is to give them a solid starting point to begin the process of healing. And sure, some, who have seriously engaged with various types of therapy at some point(s) in their life, probably will not care for the introductory fairy-tale Jansen comes up with to describe her toxic mother and tragically dysfunctional family. It is quite simplistic and not particularly original. But as it hits a very personal, informal note, for the average reader, especially if he/she is the victim of a narcissist, it is quite a comfortable and comforting entry point to the following, more significant parts of her book.


These includes an exhaustive list of narcissistic traits, practical questions, scales and tools, as well as specific questions (from anonymous patients) and answers, to help you identify if you had or still have a narcissist in your life, how you may have been affected and how to deal with her/him in day to day life. All of which are extremely illuminating and potentially, yes, lifesaving.


"In this book I step away from clinical research, diagnosis and therapy models. I share my experiences and the experiences of others, defining narcissism from the point of view of the victims" says the author in the Prologue. And she does exactly that, making her book feel like a supportive letter from a good, knowledgeable and caring friend that finds you just in the right time to let you know that you are not alone, you are enough, and you deserve not only better, but the best.


Reviewed by

I watch, I read, I write. Not necessarily in that order.
I am a motion pictures fanatic, an avid book reader, an unabashed amateur photographer, an ever curious globe-trotter, an occasionally addicted video-gamer, a (pop) culture aficionado and socially conscious political animal.


About the author

Mariette Jansen (1959) was born in The Netherlands, lives in the UK. She is a life coach, psychotherapist, meditation teacher, blogger and speaker. As more people are affected by narcissistic abuse she decided to write a book drawing on her personal and professional experiences. view profile

Published on June 21, 2020

Published by

40000 words

Genre: Self-Help & Self-Improvement

Reviewed by