Imagine being thrust into the heart of a relentless stormâa cancer diagnosis. Dark clouds press in, while piercing winds howl through your mind, not telling which way they will blow. Flashes of fire erupt from the explosive news, sparking gripping fear and uncertainty. Amidst the overwhelming chaos and swirling debris, you're caught in a vortex of shock and despair, desperately searching for anything to hold on to.
Faith through the Fire: Walking with God in My Storms is a reflective and empowering memoir that delves into Adrien's turbulent journey, teetering on the brink of death. His unwavering faith in God became his anchor when faced with insurmountable challenges. Through his stories and rugged paths, youâll glimpse the simple joys of his childhood, the complexities of adult life, and the harrowing descent into his battle with cancer.
This narrative highlights the grit and determination of a devoted wife, the steadfast support of family and friends, and the resilience forged in the face of adversity. It explores how natural treatments can complement allopathic medicine and how fear and despair can threaten to shatter the human spirit. Furthermore, it unveils the powerful healing inherent in God's love, offering hope when all seems lost.
Imagine being thrust into the heart of a relentless stormâa cancer diagnosis. Dark clouds press in, while piercing winds howl through your mind, not telling which way they will blow. Flashes of fire erupt from the explosive news, sparking gripping fear and uncertainty. Amidst the overwhelming chaos and swirling debris, you're caught in a vortex of shock and despair, desperately searching for anything to hold on to.
Faith through the Fire: Walking with God in My Storms is a reflective and empowering memoir that delves into Adrien's turbulent journey, teetering on the brink of death. His unwavering faith in God became his anchor when faced with insurmountable challenges. Through his stories and rugged paths, youâll glimpse the simple joys of his childhood, the complexities of adult life, and the harrowing descent into his battle with cancer.
This narrative highlights the grit and determination of a devoted wife, the steadfast support of family and friends, and the resilience forged in the face of adversity. It explores how natural treatments can complement allopathic medicine and how fear and despair can threaten to shatter the human spirit. Furthermore, it unveils the powerful healing inherent in God's love, offering hope when all seems lost.
Chapter 1:
Reality Mirage
The writing had long been on the wall. The laboratory analyzes confirmed what I was afraid to admit. Paralyzed by shock, it felt like time had slammed to a stop, and everything else was distant and unreal. As my doctor pieced the facts together, my entire being recoiled, rejecting what was being spoken.
'No, this cannot be happening,' echoed in my head, as if her words were reluctant to relinquish their hold. It felt surreal, redolent of a nightmare from which I desperately longed to wake up. I could not ignore the intuition that there had been an error, a mix-up regarding the investigative findings, or some rationale to evade the unrelenting anguish that confronted me.
For a quarter of a century, I implemented health-conscious decisions, complying with a plant-based regime and abstaining from smoking and alcohol, believing these actions were safeguarding my overall equilibrium. I imagined such diagnoses affecting others, the ones who ignored their physical condition or had a genetic predisposition. But it shouldn't have been my fate, especially as an individual who prioritized health.
Disbelief and perplexity swarmed me as I fought to comprehend the unthinkable. The shock of it all was a rude awakening to the sheer fickleness of our existence, a bitter pill that spoke of injustice at its core. Despite the earth-shattering beneath my feet, a sudden insight illuminated through the disillusionment. This disruption would not define who I am. It was time to muster all the courage and endurance I possessed to get beyond this turmoil.
It's strange the tricks our minds play, persuading us to think that avoidance might somehow erase our problems. That's precisely the game I played with myself when I first discovered that abnormal lump. Immobilized by fear, I selected denial over confrontation, secretly hoping it would dissolve into emptiness.
Time marches on, though, and our worries often march on with it. On February 17th, 2011, I sat in the doctor's office, accompanied by my wife. She was the backbone in our abode, and I was grateful to have her present with me. The glaring light in the office aggravated the tension, casting sharp shadows that were akin to visual projections of the dark sensation slowly sinking into my cognition.
While the nurses performed their duties around us, we remained cocooned in our bubble of apprehension. A devastating blow landed as the oncologist's words sliced through the heavy silence. My neck, thorax, and abdomenâall invaded.
All overrun by this silent menace. The unstoppable advancement of cancerous cells tainted even my bones, my very marrow. Follicular Non-Hodgkin lymphoma, Grade 3A Stage IV. The pronouncements hung suspended, heavy with implications, and had me stunned. I wanted to scream, to rail against the unfairness of it all, but my voice faltered, as if it had disappeared entirely. Mute and numb, everything vanished in that second.
This dark dream held me captive, adrift and lost in an abyss, and I desperately wanted to wake up. I didn't realize that I was in denial, the very first stage in the grieving process. I latched on tightly, with the desperation of someone hanging onto a fraying rope, directing blame outward, too terrified to peer inward.
Why me? It was a question that thundered in the silence, lingering, unanswered, and defying explanation. In a world suddenly turned upside down, I searched for justification and meaning, but all I met was darkness. In that instant, words forsook me. They devolved into oblivion, unable to capture the immensity of my despair. While seated, the overpowering cloak of melancholy descended on me.
Beneath the shadow of anguish, a dim ember of courage glowed. What seemed like the end was, in reality, a paradigm shift defined by dilemmas, despair, and transformation. So, with trembling hands and a sorrowful heart, I summoned just enough courage to step out on a quest that would ultimately define me in ways I could never have imagined.
The specialist's voice pierced the stillness, a subdued yet sharp interruption in the unbearable silence surrounding us. Although her words escaped us initially, her soft tone was laced with compassion as she gradually included us in the discussion, fully aware of the monumental choice that hung in the balance.
She explained the treatment plan, a cocktail of drugs designed to destroy the malignant cells. I nodded, though underneath the façade, a flurry of questions, doubts, and worries stirred in me. Could this really help me live longer? I inquired. Is there any realistic prospect of a cure? I was desperate for reassuranceâanything I could believe in. "Survival," she said, "could not be guaranteed; the medication could only provide a reprieve." I suspected that this was just a temporary measure against an incurable foe. My spirit was crushed when I learned that there was no magical cure available, nothing to banish the fog of the ailment that loomed over me.
In a frantic plea, I pressed my oncologist for a positive affirmation, a sliver of optimism to grasp. Her answer remained unchanged, "This affliction has no cure." I saw myself as a simple, innocent man doomed to a fate outside of my control and to a destiny haunted by the specter of death.
With a heavy heart and a soul burdened by despair, I consented to meet her again at our next appointment and promised to convey my decision. As the conversation concluded, the oncologist calmly directed us toward the nurse specialist, who would provide greater details about the intended treatment.
With a final compassionate nod, she bade us farewell, leaving us to face the responsibility of treading the turbulent waters of this specialized treatment. To my amazement, a surge of determination erupted. I harbored a firm resolution to brave whatever lay before me with unfaltering audacity and mettle. As I set things in motion, ambiguity plagued me. I figured this plight would shape the very nature of my being.
My pertinacity, however, was short-lived as the nurse specialist escorted us down the corridors to another room, and once again, a bolt of anxiety gripped me. As I sank into the chair, that simple act became an anchor, grounding me in this altered reality. My gaze drifted around the space, seeking solace in the oppressive silence, yearning for answers that remained just out of reach. A knot of worry twisted in my stomach, my palms clenched against my thighs, their coldness cutting through the fabric, amplifying my discomfort. Numbness shrouded me as a blanket against the ceaseless assault of sensations threatening to subdue me.
When the nurse introduced herself, her voice felt distant, just as it had been with the oncologist. I was mortified as I processed the avalanche of information that followed. The specification of the interventions and their ramifications slipped through my fingers like sand, swallowed by the maelstrom of my psyche. As our dialogue concluded, she handed me a booklet laden with minutiae. I skimmed through it; the verbiage seemed incomprehensible, and the extent of the choices was dreadful. Desperate questions persisted. Will these treatments grant me a reprieve, a chance to seize back the reins, or will they chain me, leaving me at the mercy of their dire, unintended effects?
I quietly struggled with uncertainty as I observed how these therapies significantly affected patients' overall health during my nursing practice. While some found an escape in the expectation of longevity, others bore the torment of clinical procedures, their level of comfort diminished by the very medications intended to save them.
Silence hung heavy as we exited the facility. We were both preoccupied with our thoughts, powerless to feel at ease in each other's presence. I couldn't muster the words to convey the emotions coursing through me, but thankfully, Bev instinctively connected with my unspoken thoughts. The staggering nature of my predicament stretched my mental capacity thin.
The return trip home was eerily quiet until Bev broke the silence, expressing her desire to visit an acquaintance who was fighting cancer. Her statements resounded in the car, and I couldn't shake the suspicion that unmasked a cruel reality about this condition. At that moment, it was as if an imperceptible web connected us all, weaving a fragile mesh of shared woes against a common adversary. Victory seemed a remote aspiration. We were all shackled by this sickness, a chronic affliction, and perhaps most importantly, by the delicate plea that we might somehow prevail.
Once home, the sobering truth crept in, casting a solemn aura over the rest of the evening. Bev took charge, her voice steady as she described the findings of my test to our lads. Stillness swaddled me as I remained transfixed by shock and disbelief. Cradled in the repose of each other's company, we sank into shared sorrow, suddenly thrust into the harsh actuality of a dismal future. During the years spent in clinical practice, my role as a health care professional positioned me as a purveyor of empathy, consolation, and bravery for others. Yet I was now drowning in isolation and grief, facing my own health battle.
With each fleeting second, the unshakable expectation that once defined me slowly faded, rendering me wrangling with a vulnerability which I had not fully comprehended.
Sharing my diagnosis with colleagues was another intimidating undertaking which I had to shoulder on my own. How would they receive it? The anticipation of complete transparency brought endless questions. Could I continue in the department that had been my second home, or was it time to reconsider my future? The contemplation of exposing something so deeply personal made me cross-examine my place among the team I had known for so long. The qualms of futurity saturated me, dulling my cognitive abilities and reasoning.
As I remained entrenched in this turmoil, Bev tried to include me in the everyday activities and diversions. The torrent of my brooding ran wild, rendering my circumstances surreal. I pondered whether my choices drove me to this point or if I had unwittingly drawn those nearest to me into a cycle of hardship and despondency. Yet, I had the impression that small, glowing rays were emerging all around me.
In the dense fog of doubt, I clung to glints of clarity, and a biblical promise which echoed through the haze: "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed" (Psalm 34:18). At first, this truth felt faint, like a whisper in the wind, but over time, it grew louder, reverberating in my subconscious. It helped me to realize that I was not alone.
As I contemplated those sacred words, I steeled myself for the long weekend ahead. Although I was on the brink of stepping into uncharted territory, I sensed a quiet yet unyielding zeal to embrace a brighter outlook, even though it seemed imperceptible.
Faith through the fire: Walking with God in my Storms by Adrien Chablal is the authorâs story of suffering and triumph over cancer. As much as itâs a testimonial of faith and the loving provisions of Jesus Christ, the loving God of the Bible experienced by the author and his family, it also seeks to arm readers with the medical knowledge they used and point them to the sources of comfort and support the author benefited from on his journey to healing. This could immensely help any reader who by mischance, falls victim to this dreaded disease at some point in life.
The authorâs wife, Bev, and their two sons are part of the story. Both the author and Bev are nurses by profession. The Foreword, written by one son after the authorâs diagnosis, is a poignant summary of their happy family life and an expression of hope for his recovery. The book proper consists of chapters alternatingly written by the author and Bev. Both write with deep clarity and feeling, movingly capturing the emotions and salient events of their struggle with the disease: shock, grief, despair, hope, the successful use of alternative medicine alongside allopathic treatment (for pain relief), relocating to foreign countries, overcoming financial challenges, triumph, and the like. The book also honestly acknowledges times when the author stumbled in his walk of faith yet eventually recovered from them.
The deep clarity of the bookâs contents and the excellent narrative skills of the authors impressed me greatly. Moreover, their sincere wish to help others on their cancer journeys is on display in this book. The willingness to share full details about the medical treatments they found beneficial quite willingly and openly is highly commendable, e.g. the NEWSTART(AB) initiative (Chap. 6, pp. 39-47) of Weimar Institute. NEWSTART is a natural healing program achieved through methods using sunlight, water, air, and others. The (AB) suffixed by the author stands for âAttitude,â and âBenevolence,â underscoring that an attitude of gratitude toward God and benevolence to others suffering similarly or in need is more important to the success of the regime than NEWSTART alone.
The book is nicely written and its formatting and page style contribute to excellent readability. The References section at the end greatly enhances its credibility. The lone shortcoming is that the book has a few language errors. Considering the praiseworthy points and the shortcomings together, I would rate it 4 stars.
I recommend this book to everyone as a preview of the typical cancer journey, particularly caregivers. Besides its valuable medical info, Christians may experience an encouraging boost of faith. At the same time, non-Christian cancer patients stand to benefit highly from the encouragement and details of the medical treatments it provides.