Chapter One
The Yellow Dress
It was a beautiful day, not too hot for Golden, Colorado in the summer. The sky was a pretty blue, and there were a few little fluffy clouds floating aimlessly. Potter stared out the window overlooking the large pasture to the side of the house. The foothills loomed in the near distance, standing like sentries protecting secrets. She understood secrets; she was full of them, little ones to never confess to anyone. It was a familiar sight; the cattle meandering around, grazing, swishing their tails at the flies, and chewing their cud. Her father was a rancher from south of Denver, she grew up on a ranch.
The house she was staying in was large, built like an English manor complete with servants. Her mother seemed to be comfortable here, but she felt uneasy. As the maids dressed her for the ball, she stood silently, not feeling anything for several days now, despondent, and apathetic, not wanting to marry Rad Scaithe.
Rad had been coming around for two years, talking to her father, planning for their marriage. He said little to her. He seemed nice enough, always polite, but there was a restraint in him, as if he was pretending to be nice, and it caused her to wonder.
Her good friend Marilynn Bitts recently wed, her husband had been handsome and sweet to her. Marilynn was so excited to marry such a man. After they were married, he changed, speaking angrily to her, and even hitting her. Marilynn told Potter she was afraid of him and had knots in her stomach all the time, never knowing when he was going to hurt her again. Potter told her to leave him and not put up with it. She could come and stay with her, but Marilynn didn't want to. She said he would get better in time once they got to know each other.
Potter was afraid that, once married to Rad, he’d stop trying and turn into a person she wouldn’t like. Maybe, like Marilynn’s husband, he was one of those angry oversensitive types who were hard to please. What if he yelled and called her names when she did something he didn’t like? What if he beat her? What would she do? Her father already mortgaged the estate for her dowry. That was stupid. What had Rad said to her parent’s that made them so convinced he was the one for her? No one consulted her. Rad hadn’t even asked her to marry him. He arranged it with her father. It wasn’t like her parents were getting anything out of this. Or were they? Her mother kept saying everything would be fine, but Potter was not sure. She stared out the window, her thoughts consumed her.
A maid brought in a bright yellow ballgown. Potter’s eyes got big. “What is that?” she said, emotion filling her for the first time in days.
“Your ballgown,” the maid said, smiling. "Mr. Scaithe picked it out himself and asked that you wear it tonight.”
“I’m not wearing that,” Potter told her disgusted.
“My lady, your future husband has bought it for you and gave instructions for you to wear it,” the maid said.
“Why would that mean anything to me? I’m not wearing it,” she said. “I’ll walk out here naked before I wear a bright yellow anything." She put her arms around her chest and glared at the maid.
Just then her mother entered the room. The maids looked at Jen Evans with a look begging for help. “What is going on?” Jen asked.
“That is what is going on,” Potter said, pointing to the yellow dress laying across the chair. “I refuse to wear it.” She glared at her mother, daring her to say anything.
Jen Evans did not notice how serious her daughter was, and it wouldn’t have mattered. “Of course, you are going to wear it, it’s beautiful,” she said in a singsong voice as if Potter were four years old.
This only angered Potter even more, and her mind started devising a plan to get out of this situation all together. “I absolutely refuse mother and there isn’t anything you can say or do about it,” Potter told her.
“You will wear that dress young lady and that is all there is to it,” Jen said as she approached Potter as if she would spank her if she disobeyed.
Another maid left the room in a hurry; presumably to get some help.
There was a ruckus at the door a few minutes later.
“No, you can’t come in. She isn’t dressed,” the maid said.
The door pushed open and Rad stood inside the room, his eyes slowly moving up and down Potter’s body as she stood there with nothing on but her bloomers and camisole.
Potter glared at him.
He seemed unsettled. “What’s the problem?” he said once he regained control. His voice shaking a little.
“I’m not wearing that gown,” she said.
He looked at the gown, then back at her. “I thought the yellow would look lovely with your dark hair,” he said gently, not able to resist looking her over again and again. His breath was heavy as his eyes settled on her almost bare breast.
“I will not go to a ball or anywhere looking like a bumblebee,” she argued.
“Now dear,” her mother interjected. “You really should listen to Rad and wear the dress. It’s so beautiful, he really does have good taste, and you will look lovely in it.”
He couldn't take being in the room with her in that state of undress any longer. “Wear the dress,” he said, and turned hurriedly out the room.
“The hell I will,” she mumbled under her breath as he slammed the door behind him. Is this what being married to him will be like? I’m not having it.
“Now see what you have done,” her mother said. “You have gotten Rad upset.” Jen moved to the chair and picked up the dress. Now here, put this on, and we will forget anything happened. I don’t know why you have to be so stubborn; you know this is all for your own good.”
“Please let me go to my room and calm down for a moment,” she said, looking at the maids and not her mother.
“No Potter, you do not need to go lay down,” her mother said. “You need to finish getting ready for the engagement ball.”
Potter turned and stormed into the bedroom and shut the door, locking it behind her.
She put her regular clothes on and headed back out the door.
“Where are you going, Potter?” Her mother demanded. “We need to get you ready for the ball.”
Potter ignored her and walked out the door of her rooms and into the hallway of the house. “Where is Rad?” she asked a servant, who was bringing something up the stairs.
“He is in his chambers getting ready for the ball,” he said.
Rad stood by the window, his head still spinning. Potter was an amazingly beautiful young woman, but he hadn’t known how beautiful. Finding her in her underclothes had totally taken him over. He could barely concentrate. And since she glared at him, he wanted her now more than ever. He sat musing over what happened and realized he didn’t do the right thing by telling her to wear the dress and running out the door, but he needed to get away from her. She was a temptation to him ever since he met her two years previously, but now it was more than he could bear.
If she didn’t want to wear the yellow dress, that was fine. She could wear whatever she wanted because she had good taste. He thought the yellow would be nice; he didn’t know she didn’t like yellow. There were a lot of things he didn’t know about his bride-to-be. He intentionally didn’t speak to her, to get to know her, because his desire for her was so strong he was afraid of what might happen, and he didn’t want to lose her.
He was trying to get through all this pretense so she would be his, and they could talk and get to know each other the way he wanted to.
There was a loud banging on his door. It must be Peters.
“Come in,” he said, not turning to see who it was.
Rad was standing in front of the window with his shirt off. His strong, muscled back flexed as he moved his head back and forth, slowly stretching the muscles in his neck.
“Peters, I can dress myself, I don’t know why my father insists I need a valet. I’m not a child anymore,” he said.
“I am not Peters, but I want a word with you.”
He turned around, startled at the voice. Potter stood there with her hands on her hips, wearing her everyday dress. Her eyes were on fire and her forehead was tense. Her dark hair fell down her shoulders and to him she was the most beautiful thing.
He reached over and took the shirt that was hanging on the hook, putting it on and buttoning it up.
“What do you want to talk about,” he said, his voice thick and gravelly.
“Actually, it's not a matter of a conversation at all. I do not want to marry you and I will not marry you and I am not going through with this ball. I am packing my things and going back to Aurora.”
“No,” he said more intensely than he wanted to. He couldn't lose her, not now, not now that it was so close, and she would be his.
“Oh yes,” she said. "That is really all there is to it. I don't know why I even went along with this. You’ve hardly even spoken to me, you never asked to be alone with me, to get to know me, to court me, to woo me. You spent more time with my father: marry him. You never even asked me to marry you."
Walking out of the room, she slammed the bedroom door behind her.
She was shaking. Her parents would be so mad at her, but she didn't care. This is what they got for not taking her opinion into consideration and selling her to the highest bidder like she was a horse at the auction.
Stomping back into her room past the maids, she pulled her bag out of the closet and started throwing her clothes in it.
Rad came into her room while she was packing. “You can't go,” he said.
“I can and I will.”
Her mother came into the room.
“Potter what are you doing?” her mother cried.
“I’m doing what I should have done a long time ago. I'm taking control of my life. I will go where I want and marry who I want, and no one is going to tell me any different. You all can stay here. I’m going back to Aurora.” She grabbed her bag and headed out the door.
Rad was leaning against the wall with his head in his hands. Her mother chased her out the door, calling to her, trying to get her to change her mind. It wouldn't happen. It was too late. He ruined everything and drove her away from him. He walked onto the balcony of the bedroom and watched as she commanded the stableboy to get a buckboard ready for her. Her mother continued pleading with her, but she stood silent, her arms crossed over her chest.
There was a figure approaching the ranch from the north: a tall man with long dark hair rode his Appaloosa towards the clamoring couple. Her mother stopped and stepped away from Potter as the man slid off the horse. He spoke to the mother as she moved her hands towards Potter and shook her head, crying.
The stableboy brought the buckboard for Potter. Throwing her bag into the back, she was about to pull herself up onto the wagon when the dark-haired man walked towards her. She talked to him for a while, pointing to the house. He stood silently listening to her. Rad wished he had the strength to be still like that in her presence, but his passion for her was so great he felt he needed to keep moving lest he do something he would regret and lose her. Yet here he was, losing her anyway. He wanted to be honest with her about how much he loved her, but he didn't know how.
After a little while, she pulled herself up onto the wagon and took the reins in her hands. His heart physically pained at the sight of it. She smiled at the dark-haired man and he nodded towards her. She flicked the reins and her horse trotted out of the yard towards the road. The tall man turned around, saying something to the father who had come out of the house and moved to the porch's shade while the man spoke with her. The mother was still crying.
As she left him, the dust from her wagon rose into the air. His heart ached, and he wanted to cry like a baby. She was everything to him, yet obviously she did not know how much he loved her.
“She will be safe,” a deep voice spoke behind him. Rad didn't even look up to greet Climbing Bear. “I talked her into going to the Arapaho village until she decides what she wants to do. Flying Hawk will talk to her and help her. The women will befriend her and be kind to her. The men will protect her.”
“I can’t live without her,” Rad said. “I know it’s crazy, but it’s true.”
“Your passion is high for the woman; I sensed it from the beginning,” Climbing Bear said.
“How do I do it? How do I love her and let her know how much I want her and not scare her away from me?” he asked with too much emotion in his voice.
“You are confused because you grew up in the white man’s world with his Christian god and principled ways. Your father was not like this with your mother,” he said. “Your woman is angry and frustrated, but I sensed she only wants to know you love her and that she can trust you.”
“What have I done to make her not trust me?” he asked.
Climbing Bear looked at Rad as he stood staring into the eastern horizon with his hand over his heart as if trying to soothe it.
“Perhaps it's not what you have done, but what you haven’t done,” Climbing Bear said.
