Modern dating is not a fairytale.
With the over-availability of sex, people these days have a hard time settling for one person.
Dating apps are a breeding ground for the emotionally unavailable because now that sex is easier to get, love is harder to find.
Lulu Johnson shares her dating experiences since moving to Berlin, Europeâs Singles Capital. She discovered that finding love is not the fairytale she had been brought up to believe.
From surviving a toxic relationship, to discovering on a first date that she was in the company of a mass murderer, to dealing with the highs and lows that come with searching for love in a city overcrowded with fuckboys and too much choice, she shares her stories so you donât make the same mistakes she did.
Covering all aspects of dating; sex, rejection, confidence, self-esteem, and plenty of funny and relatable dating stories, this book will help guide you through this hell hole of dating in a culture where we have all become disposable to one another.
Modern dating is not a fairytale.
With the over-availability of sex, people these days have a hard time settling for one person.
Dating apps are a breeding ground for the emotionally unavailable because now that sex is easier to get, love is harder to find.
Lulu Johnson shares her dating experiences since moving to Berlin, Europeâs Singles Capital. She discovered that finding love is not the fairytale she had been brought up to believe.
From surviving a toxic relationship, to discovering on a first date that she was in the company of a mass murderer, to dealing with the highs and lows that come with searching for love in a city overcrowded with fuckboys and too much choice, she shares her stories so you donât make the same mistakes she did.
Covering all aspects of dating; sex, rejection, confidence, self-esteem, and plenty of funny and relatable dating stories, this book will help guide you through this hell hole of dating in a culture where we have all become disposable to one another.
Being single has never been more acceptable in society than it is today. Love has developed from settling down and marrying âThe Oneâ to now finding âThe One for Tonightâ. Growing up, you might have expected that love as an adult would be like a fairy tale; the damsel is saved by her charming prince and they live happily ever after â and though that seems like a great idea, thatâs all it is. Love is actually hard work: it takes a lot of time and patience and itâs not always going to be a walk in the rose garden. There will be many thorns and pricks on your quest for love and romance. We will make many mistakes, meet a lot of witches, date a lot of goblins, and get burned as we play with fire.
Since the launch of Tinder in 2012, the dam has broken and we are now flooded with options from different online dating apps. With that comes a real serotonin rush. An instant and short-lived gratification; a disconnect from the real world as we disregard peopleâs feelings and we forget that there is someone real behind the profile. We live in a world inundated with choice, causing us to get bored easily and lose interest in people faster, which in turn has caused the development of a Introduction 10 disposable dating culture. We have forgotten that good things take time and patience to develop. Online dating has destroyed our ability to focus on one individual, and itâs caused a love/ hate relationship with these apps. How many times have you deleted your accounts, promised yourself youâre done with online dating, only to download them all again within a matter of hours? You find yourself stuck on the never-ending carousel of dating, even though most of your matches never even respond and you end up sifting through a graveyard of fellow singles hoping youâll match someone who will actually reply. Designed to be like online shopping, online dating is another addiction that has its chokehold on society.
Dating in Berlin has a lot to offer and with a population of 3.7 million, of whom 31.5% are aged between twenty-five and forty-five1 , we arenât exactly short on choice.
Commonly known as Peter Pan City, youth here isnât determined by how many years youâve gone around the sun. A city thatâs steeped in history, Berlin is renowned for many reasons. Among them is its party lifestyle, and with that comes a never-ending pool of singles. But itâs also a city full of lost people who are trying to âfind themselvesâ. Which unfortunately makes finding a relationship more difficult. It can take a lot of time and practice to get used to the dating circuit; you can run never-ending laps, and still not find the finish line.
I have written this book with the sole intention of helping others. My goal is not only to make you giggle, possibly cry, and cringe, but most importantly to help those who, like me, have experienced a toxic relationship and have found themselves questioning their self-worth because of mistreatment from others. I have shared my own dating experiences, delving into matters like manipulation and narcissism, because my 11 journey brought me face to face with what, for a long time, I considered to be evil. I want to make my readers more aware of the signs and red flags that can warn of emotional abuse in toxic relationships. This book can be seen as a guide to the dating world; although set in Berlin, it explores the very relatable topics of online dating, love and relationships through uncomfortable, funny, and embarrassing stories â so living in this city isnât a requirement.
As well as my own tales, Iâve also included personal stories from friends and other wonderful participants about the trials and tribulations of dating in the Singles Capital of Europe.
From hilarious tales of love, lust, and sex, to downright despicable toxic relationships, this book has it all covered. This is my own take on love, life, and human behaviour. Iâm not doing it to move mountains, but if sharing means I have helped even just one person, then I will know the book was worth writing.
I have chosen to unapologetically speak my truth, which is me in a nutshell: sharing to get a reaction. But I can honestly say that Iâve grown enormously with the mistakes, heartaches, and wild times since moving here in 2015, and I donât regret any of it. Emotional abuse was something I never experienced before I moved to Berlin, but boy do I know a thing or two about it now. It has taken me until my thirties to really understand why people act the way they do. I donât have a psychology degree, but I have spent an enormous amount of time reading books, asking questions, and listening to stories about other peopleâs experiences.
âIâm not everyoneâs shot of whisky. But I hope you have learned something from it, and from my mistakes.â
Do we need another book on how to manage the trials and tribulations of online dating? Probably not. Thank goodness Dating in Berlin isnât one of those books. In providing readers with the essential âemotional educationâ on love and relationships, Dating in Berlin brings a refreshing approach to the tired subject of online dating.
While we can easily pour through all the self-help blogs and Instagram reels about how to hustle on Bumble, itâs another intimate feat entirely to lay bare oneâs personal dating history so we can learn to recognize unrealistic and toxic behavior.
Meet Lulu Johnson, an Irish woman in her early thirties who has been living in Berlin for almost a decade. Her mission? To date and dish in one of the worldâs youngest â and most available â cities.
By âyoung,â Iâm not describing the city itself, but the people living in it. Often dubbed the âPeter Pan City,â the Berlin in Johnsonâs book is a place that embodies a youthful mentality. From the âI never left college!â party scene to the ânever-ending pool of singles,â Berlin can feel like an oasis where one can never age or grow up unless it's come time to leave.
A city of âlost boysâ trying to find themselves also makes it difficult to find a steady relationship, as Johnson regales in Dating in Berlin. Between chapters of tried and true dating advice for a more lust-oriented online dating world, Johnson gives us a sweeping tour of the dreamboat, fairytale-esque men of her red flag nightmares. From the love-bombing Mr. âCharm Your Pants Offâ to the sneaky âPrince of Snakesâ and the ride-or-die âRhinestone Cowboy,â Johnson immerses us in the perspective of someone who has fallen for their narcissistic tricks â and doesn't want anyone else to do the same.
What pivots Dating in Berlin from memoir to self-help is Johnson's brief listicle chapters of best tips, tricks, and dating practices for the novice or inexperienced social butterfly. While I read and was interested in this book as a resource to identify harmful narcissists in social situations, I believe someone new to the dating scene â online or otherwise â would benefit from this book. Dating in Berlin provides worldly advice from a hyper-infused dating setting for getting your love on, checking in on your friends, and establishing a spectrum of healthy relationships.