Two boys. One summer. A story of lust, love, and the complicated space in between.
Every summer, Darius returns to the family home in a quiet French village. Heâs not expecting much. Just some time away. Instead, he gets Rudy. Rudy is Dariusâ cousinâs best friend. Heâs reckless, golden, and off-limits in every way that matters. Heâs also the guy Darius canât stop wanting. Their connection burns bright and fast, with stolen glances and desire. It feels like everything. It also feels like it could break him.
Then Lucien enters the picture. A French librarian with a love of stars, and a kindness Darius isnât sure he knows how to receive. With Lucien, thereâs no firestorm, just warmth.
Told in two voices, Dariusâ and Rudyâs, this is a story of two boys trying to figure out who they are to each other, and to themselves. Itâs about lust, and how easily it can be mistaken for love. Itâs about love, and how terrifying it is to be held gently when youâre used to being hurt.
Heartfelt, and full of summer heat, DARIUS explores what it means to want, to love, and to be brave enough to admit the difference.
Two boys. One summer. A story of lust, love, and the complicated space in between.
Every summer, Darius returns to the family home in a quiet French village. Heâs not expecting much. Just some time away. Instead, he gets Rudy. Rudy is Dariusâ cousinâs best friend. Heâs reckless, golden, and off-limits in every way that matters. Heâs also the guy Darius canât stop wanting. Their connection burns bright and fast, with stolen glances and desire. It feels like everything. It also feels like it could break him.
Then Lucien enters the picture. A French librarian with a love of stars, and a kindness Darius isnât sure he knows how to receive. With Lucien, thereâs no firestorm, just warmth.
Told in two voices, Dariusâ and Rudyâs, this is a story of two boys trying to figure out who they are to each other, and to themselves. Itâs about lust, and how easily it can be mistaken for love. Itâs about love, and how terrifying it is to be held gently when youâre used to being hurt.
Heartfelt, and full of summer heat, DARIUS explores what it means to want, to love, and to be brave enough to admit the difference.
Somewhere in the middle of France, thereâs this picturesque little village. It was a warm day in August when our car finally pulled up to the gate of one of the houses there. Liza (my cousin), her friends, and I had spent way too long in that thing getting from the airport to the house. The gate creaked open, and the car rolled over the dark grey stones.
I wondered who would be here this year. It was different every time I went. Sometimes literally everybody was there, sometimes not even half of the family. Always Rita and Freddy, and usually Rudy was here too.
He lived in the village and was Freddyâs best friend, his parents had a small hotel farther down the road. They were Americans through and through, but they wanted a change of scenery after his dad did some questionable things regarding some tax work almost a decade ago. Allegedly. Rudy wasnât really that close with his parents so he spent a lot of time literally anywhere else, as long as it wasnât the hotel. Which was why he stayed with Freddy and Rita a lot.
âDo you think Rudyâs there?â One of Lizaâs friends asked. I didnât care to learn their names. Not because Iâm an asshole, but because they wouldnât be here the next time I saw Liza anyway.
âHeâs always here,â I told her and got out of the car. I took my bag with me. I filled it up too much, so I struggled to carry it to the door, which was nothing new.
I heard some excited giggles behind me. He was really just a guy. He was American like us, he wasnât some romantic French guy. And he was always. Here.
âWeâre in France, and youâre excited to see Rudy?â I asked, eyebrow raised.
The friend grinned. âWhat can I say? I like my men cultured,â she shot back. Liza, behind her, was pulling her bag from the car with a dramatic flourish.
I rolled my eyes. âHeâs barely a man, let alone cultured.â
âHeâs so cute,â Lizaâs other friend cut in. âI would totally let him and Freddy throw me across the room.â
Lizaâs face scrunched up in disgust. âNot Freddy, heâs my cousin!â she exclaimed.
âWhere do you find these people?â I asked, giving her a look. âThey get worse every year. I really didnât need that mental image.â
I finally pushed open the door and walked through it, out of the all seeing eye of the sun. It was a lot cooler inside. Almost all of the walls were made from natural stones and cement, and even though youâd think that that would make the house very, very hot, it did the opposite. It was like a cave in there. Almost frigid if you left the curtains closed.
âManners,â Liza told me. She paid the taxi driver and came inside after me.
âYouâre telling me?â I shot back. I tossed my bag in a corner of the hallway.
From the kitchen, I heard clanking of dishes. That had to be Rita. Freddyâs mother, and my non-blood-related, adopted-by-divorce aunt. She married my uncle once upon a time, and now, after the split, she was the one keeping the house in order. He was totally out of the picture, both from her life and ours. No one missed that asshole.
The smell of garlic and herbs hit me in the face as soon as I walked into the kitchen. It smelled amazing.
âOh, I missed this,â I said.
As soon as she spotted us, her face lit up. She dropped whatever she was doing and rushed over to pull Liza into a big hug.
âLiza, my beautiful girl!â Rita said, squeezing Liza as if she hadnât seen her in years. âLook at you, youâre getting prettier every time I see you!â
Liza smiled, her arms wrapped around Rita. âItâs good to see you, Rita. Whatâs cooking?â
âYouâll see when itâs time to eat,â Rita laughed before turning to me. She smiled a sweet smile. âCome here, you.â
I grinned. Rita pulled me into one of those long, warm hugs, the kind only she could give, like she could squeeze all the bad out of the world for just a moment. âDid you miss me, Rita?â
âAlways,â she said, pulling back just enough to hold me by the shoulders. âYou causing trouble lately?â
âWouldnât be me if I wasnât,â I shot back with a wink.
Rita shook her head with a laugh. âI knew it. I knew it! As long as you keep trouble out of the kitchen, Iâm more than happy to see you.â
Lizaâs friends were still hovering awkwardly by the door like they werenât sure if they were allowed to come in. It was usually like this. Every year, Lizaâs friends would start out shy and overwhelmed by the family, then at the end of it they were crazier than all of us combined. And the next time there would be different ones and it would start all over again.
âHi ladies, what are your names?â Rita asked.
âBrittany and Tiffany,â Liza said, introducing them with a wave.
âYou girls make yourselves at home, alright? And if you need anything, just give a yell. Weâre all family here.â
The girls nodded, smiling in that polite, nervous way. She gave them one last reassuring nod before turning back to the stove. âNow leave,â she said, âyou all better get out and say hello to the rest of the family before anyone realizes youâre two hours late.â
âDonât have to tell me twice,â I said.
O
âWhatâs up, sexy people,â I said as I walked into the living room. I ran to hug grandpa as soon as I spotted him. I hadnât seen him since last year August, which was now almost exactly a year ago. He wasnât there in January when I was here last, something with his knees.
âMy favorite grandson,â he hollered.
Freddy scraped his throat as he walked by to greet Liza and her friends. He sat with Rudy and uncle Tony before we came in.
âAnd my second favorite grandson,â Samuel added. Jokingly, but Freddy was too occupied with the two new girls to really get it.
My eyes grazed past Rudy before I got to grandpa. He (Rudy, not grandpa) looked like his hair was backlit by a studio light. He didnât face me, though. I quickly looked away and dove onto grandpa.
âI missed you nonno,â I said. âHow are your knees? Youâre really getting old now, huh.â At this, he let out a thundering laugh.
Before you ask: Grandpa is Italian, he moved to France when he was like 13 and grew up in this house, which is why this is our family home in France. He then moved to America because of his career and met our grandma. He stayed there with her most of the time when he wasnât on an expedition, which is why we are all born in America.
Uncle Rob, the only ginger in the family since he married in, who sat across from him, joined in on the hug which now really almost crushed grandpa. âHe may be old, but he still drinks like a twenty-year-old. I told him, he canât ride a bike with us tomorrow if heâs drunk.â
Rob was a bike salesman and, naturally, loved to do bike stuff. He always had some type of bike with him when he came here, or anywhere for that matter. Thank god he was out of the phase where he tried to get everyone else to bike too, though. Except maybe grandpa, but I think that was more like a joke.
âIf you see me drinking more tomorrow, you know why,â grandpa joked, then pushed us off of him. âAnd like you said: Iâm old, no way youâre getting me on a bike.â
I chuckled, then turned to Rob. âWhereâs Gen?â
Rob started glowing by the idea of her alone. If there was anything he loved more than bikes, it was his wife. He was literally like a ginger Gomez Adams. And I loved that for him. âChanging, she spilled on her dress,â he said.
I looked across the room at Liza and her friends who were talking to Freddy and uncle Tony. I had to keep myself from rolling my eyes. Freddy had already amped up his charm to an 11, and weâd been here maybe five minutes. He was really doing the most.
I walked over and clapped Tony on the back. He was about a hundred pounds more muscular than I was. âMy favorite gorilla,â I said.
Tony looked over. His eyes immediately brightened and he pulled me into one of his bro-hugs. Too masculine to give me a proper hug, but when a hand was involved somewhere in there it was for some reason absolutely fine. Which actually sounds a lot gayer.
âKeeping fit, Darius,â he said, clapping me on the back too. Except when he did it, it was like he was actively trying to dislocate my shoulder. He almost succeeded. I winked and mock-flexed.
Tony jokingly squeezed my bicep. âOne more curl and youâre bigger than me,â he said.
I laughed and looked over at Freddy. He hadnât acknowledged me even once yet. Before i could greet him, though, I felt hands on my shoulders. Rudy then appeared in my field of vision. Fuck, he did look good this year.
âCame straight from the set of mamma Mia, did you?â He said, nodding at my outfit.
âIâd bet my life that youâve never seen the movie,â I said while shaking his hands off of me.
Freddy came up to me, his face was considerably more sour than when heâd been talking to the girls. He barely shook my hand, as if I had something contagious. Being fun to be around maybe. I wouldnât want to pass that onto him. No one would recognize him.
âDarius,â he said, with a nod. âGood to see you, cousin.â
âYeah, you too,â I said.
Rita came into the living room, two oven mitts on her hands. âAnyone has a hand they can miss?â She asked.
I ran over, glad to be away from Rudyâs eyes and Freddyâs⊠well, Freddyâs eyes too, I guess? âI canât miss âem but I can use âem,â I told her.
I heard Rudyâs voice calling after me. âDonât hide in there too long, Darius. You might start thinking three guys could actually be your dad.â
I waved him and the mamma Mia reference off and slipped into the warmer, quieter space of the kitchen.
I helped Rita take all of the dishes to the dining table. They smelled amazing, I had missed these home cooked meals more than I realized. So good.
O
It wasnât long after the food had been put out on the table that aunt Genevieve came around the corner with a bottle of wine in her one hand and a glass of it in her other. When she saw us, she hurried to put the bottle of wine down (she kept the glass, though) and pulled me and Liza into a group hug.
âFinally youâre here,â she said. âThere was way too much testosterone here. Donât you two ever make me wait that long again.â
âYou have more testosterone than me,â Tony joked, which earned him a slap from her.
âThat explains why I saw you wearing a thong then, darling,â she said. Tony laughed. Aunt Gen looked back at us with a happy smile. âYou two look fabulous. Love you. Letâs eat.â Like the whirlwind she was, she went to sit down next to Rob and started sipping her wine.
I raised my eyebrows at Liza. She nodded. Gen was already drunk.
My eyes got pulled over Lizaâs shoulder. Rudy was talking to one of Lizaâs friends (Jessica? Katie? I still didnât know) about something. Something riveting, no doubt. But he looked real good doing it.
I shivered at the thought. I was turning into one of Lizaâs minions.
I looked away, just barely catching Rudy glancing my way. I looked back, but he was already looking away. Now I just felt stupid. I quickly sat down at the table and stuffed my face with bread. God, right after saying Rudy wasnât all that, too. Embarrassing. And he wasnât all that.
Rita scooted past behind me, going round with some potatoes. âAnyone more potatoes?â She asked.
Tony raised his hand. âBest potatoes in France, hands down,â he said. He wasnât wrong. They were these herb crusted small potatoes, they were golden brown and they smelled so good. Iâm not exaggerating when I say I got a foodgasm.
Lizaâs friends, on the other side of the table, looked like they were having one too, except without the âfoodâ part. My god. If they tilted their head a bit downward, Iâm sure the drool would come out of their mouths. I think theyâd rather eat Fred and Rudy than Ritaâs potatoes. Best American boys in France. To be fair, one was made by Rita. Little potato head.
âWhatâre you brooding about?â Liza nudged me.
I looked over at her. âIâm not brooding.â
âYouâre quieter than usual and you look like you have to take a shit. Youâre definitely brooding.â
I relaxed my face. In all honesty, I hadnât realized I tensed it up to begin with. âIf you really want to know, I was trying to guess how long itâll take them before they stop the eye-fucking and start the real thing. Iâm thinking maybe a minute.â
âGenerous. Iâll guess half a minute,â she replied.
âExactly as long as they will last.â
âDarius, darling,â Genevieve suddenly started from across the table, âdo you still go to that art school?â
âYes,â I replied and pricked a tomato on my fork. âIâve got two more years. I really like it though. I made a sculpture before the vacation started. Or thatâs when I finished it.â
âWhat kind?â Rita asked me. She hovered beside me for a moment. I knew sheâd be interested, the whole backyard was filled with her own creations.
âItâs a, err,â I started, âkind of like a cloud figure, I guess you could call it. Queerness is always portrayed as a rainbow, but I wanted to show that itâs the clouds too. Itâs not always sunshine.â
âThatâs a real good concept,â Rudy told me. When I looked over at him, I saw that he was fully turned towards me. Like heâd been listening to me for a while longer. I became hyperaware of how I was sitting, so I awkwardly adjusted a bit.
âThanks,â I said.
âWhy do you make âgayâ your personality,â Fred casually interjected.
âAt least I have one,â I said.
âIâm just saying,â Fred said. âEven your boyfriends appreciate it if you do more than just⊠be gay.â He said it like it was something silly, to be gay.
âHow do you know how gay guys think?â I snapped back. âDo you want to tell us something, Freddy? Oh, I know. You work at that wood company because you like long, hard, girthy sticks, right?â
His eyes narrowed. âIâve had more women than youâve had men, and thatâs saying something. Thereâs two things I love in life. Hooters and cooters.â
âFreddy, please donât. Not over my soup,â Gen said.
Tony and Rob both started laughing, Tony probably because he genuinely thought it was funny, Rob because it was such a ridiculous thing to say. I was definitely with Rob on that one.
âYouâre actually disgusting,â I told Freddy. âI donât get how you even get one woman. Seriously. Thatâs so degrading.â I shot a look at Lizaâs friends, but they didnât really seem to hear what Fred had just said. Seriously, how much bigger did he need to make his red flag?
âAre you still together with ehm,â Gen started. She struggled finding the name.
âJuan?â I helped.
âYes! Juan!â Gen said.
âHe cheated on Darius with a sixteen year old boy,â Liza said. I shot her a look, but she innocently took a sip of her wine and raised her shoulders.
âWow,â Rudy said.
âGreat taste,â Rob added.
âYes, Iâm fine, thanks for asking. Iâm in therapy now. Turns out I have a tendency to self sabotage by going for assholes who i know will fuck me over because I donât believe I deserve love.â
Lizaâs friends were staring very directly at their plates.
âSo thatâs how my summer was,â I concluded.
âDo you have pictures of the sculpture?â Liza asked, cutting Fred off from something he was about to say. Probably for the better, since this was literally the first time in months we saw each other.
I nodded and grabbed my phone from my pocket. I saw Rudy standing up out of the corner of my eye, he walked over to me. He and Rita both looked over my shoulder, though he placed one of his hands on it, too. I started swiping through the pictures. But I couldnât really focus on the narration I was supposed to be doing, because Rudyâs hand was really warm, and the feeling of his eyes on my screen even warmer. He kind of kneaded my shoulder when he felt me tense up a bit, which obviously made things worse.
âThat looks incredible, Darius,â Rita said. Liza nodded too, completely focused on my screen.
âYou made this yourself? Thatâs crazy, itâs really good,â Rudy added. âYouâve grown a lot in your art since last year.â
âThanks,â I just said. I felt Fredâs eyes on me too, though those were a lot less friendly.
Rudy went to sit back down and Rita disappeared into the kitchen for a second to get more food.
âWhat do you do again, Fred?â Liza asked. Probably to get Fredâs eyes off of me.
âLogging. Itâs with wood.â
âOh, so youâre like a lumberjack!â One of Lizaâs friends asked. âThatâs so hot!â Fred just grimaced.
âAnd you, Rudy, do you still work in that furniture shop?â Liza asked Rudy.
Rudy, with a mouthful of broccoli, nodded. âYeth,â he murmured.
âYou in a furniture shop?â Grandpa asked with a raised eyebrow. âI wouldnât peg ya for a furniture man.â
âPreferably donât peg him at all,â Genevieve said with a little giggle. I scrunched my nose at her. She smiled.
Rudy swallowed his broccoli. âNo, itâs fine. I donât know if Iâll do it for the rest of my life but itâs the best option here,â Rudy said.
âDo you make, like, chairs and things like that?â One of Lizaâs friends asked.
âYeah, kinda,â was Rudyâs reply. I could almost feel the enthusiasm in him. I know sarcasm doesnât translate well to paper, so: I was being sarcastic. And he didnât really seem too happy to talk about it any more than that.
We ate more. It was really good. I could eat Ritaâs meals every single day. If I were ever on death row, this would be my last meal.
Uncle Rob couldnât resist starting another passionate ode to bikes. For some reason, he was directing it at grandpa again. âSam, the trails out here are begging for some off-roading. You should join me one morning, Iâll show you what youâve been missing.â
Grandpa waved him off with an amused smile. âRob, Iâm too old to be pretending Iâm Evel Knievel. Iâll stick to my scotch, thanks.â
Rob laughed. âYou say that every year, but one of these days, old man, Iâll get you back on two wheels.â
âTwo wheels? I got trouble staying on two legs!â Grandpa joked.
Genevieve, who sat between the two of them, raised her glass. She clinked it against Robâs. âGood luck, darling.â
Tony, cutting into his steak with a smirk, added, âThe only way dadâs getting on a bike again is if it comes with a leather recliner and a minibar.â
The table broke into laughter, and Grandpa, always the good sport, raised his glass in mock salute. âIâll drink to that.â
Darius is a book that will surprise readers in every single way. From the start, readers can expect to be drawn into a world of characters that feel like real people. Messy, warm, and flawedâeach character is special in a way that makes them feel like home.
Darius, the titular character, vacations with his family in a beautiful village in France once a year. He doesn't quite expect anything special to happen to him, besides the usual adventures, familial bickering, and perhaps snagging a cute boy or two. But, life has it's own way of throwing out some curveballs. Darius soon realizes that he has to decide between what his heart wants, and what his mind says.
Darius is a tale about love and lust, families that are messy and beautiful, and the choices that can change everything. But most of all, this is a story about growth.
The dual perspectives work together very well. Darius and Rudy's POVs carry each other so much. Their thoughts and perspectives complement their own side of the story, while progressing the plot. It's beyond beautiful. The writing will have readers rooting for every character, even when they know better.
The beginning of this story works slow, like a soft summer morning, but once it picks up, then it picks up. Around 30 percent into the book, the plot begins to unravel. The twists and turns will keep readers on the edge of their seat. Each revelation shapes these characters into who they are, peeling back their layers and revealing them in a new light.
Darius isn't afraid to touch on the deeper parts of some relationships. The characters are the highlight: each one being flawed and still so likeable in their own ways. Darius is both soft and sharp, and entirely unforgettable.
And without any spoilers, the ending is one that will have all of the readers feeling so very proud of Darius.
I would recommend this book to all types of readers, even those who don't normally read dramatic romance novels. This is one book that is worth coming out of your comfort zone.