Keri Morgan has spent her life around Your Mother’s Worst Nightmare, the world-famous rock band led by her brother, Tristan. Six years ago, Nate Nickerson—Tristan’s best friend and bandmate—talked her into joining the tour as merch manager to keep Tristan from self-destructing.
Now, with Tristan sober and settled, Keri and Nate are tangled up in a very physical, no-strings-attached arrangement—just toe-curling distractions, no feelings, no complications, and free from the panic and anxiety she refuses to let rule her life.
The problem? Nate has fallen hard and is acting like they have a life checklist to work through, while Keri’s still trying to find hers… if she even has one.
When she finally admits he’s the calm to her storm, life throws them a high-stakes curveball she never saw coming. And when Nate freezes up at the worst moment, he suddenly isn’t sure he can be the steady, unshakable rock she needs.
But just as Keri stops running and admits her feelings, Nate pulls away, convinced he’s not strong enough for her. Now, she must convince him otherwise… before he walks away forever.
Keri Morgan has spent her life around Your Mother’s Worst Nightmare, the world-famous rock band led by her brother, Tristan. Six years ago, Nate Nickerson—Tristan’s best friend and bandmate—talked her into joining the tour as merch manager to keep Tristan from self-destructing.
Now, with Tristan sober and settled, Keri and Nate are tangled up in a very physical, no-strings-attached arrangement—just toe-curling distractions, no feelings, no complications, and free from the panic and anxiety she refuses to let rule her life.
The problem? Nate has fallen hard and is acting like they have a life checklist to work through, while Keri’s still trying to find hers… if she even has one.
When she finally admits he’s the calm to her storm, life throws them a high-stakes curveball she never saw coming. And when Nate freezes up at the worst moment, he suddenly isn’t sure he can be the steady, unshakable rock she needs.
But just as Keri stops running and admits her feelings, Nate pulls away, convinced he’s not strong enough for her. Now, she must convince him otherwise… before he walks away forever.
The last box slid shut with a satisfying snap. Keri Morgan yanked the tape dispenser across the seam, then smoothed it down with the palm of her hand and placed it next to the other boxes of unsold YOUR MOTHER’S WORST NIGHTMARE shirts, hoodies, CDs, vinyl, and anything else she sold for the band.
They were stacked neatly by the tables, while the display racks, now empty, stood as crooked reminders of the night’s rush, all just waiting for the roadies to come and take them.
Hard to believe it had been almost four months since they packed up the tour bus and left home in central Connecticut for Miami to do a show on New Year’s Eve. Since then, they’d been winding their way around different venues in the Sunshine State then onto several other southern states before traveling back up north to where they were now, somewhere in Pennsylvania.
Early spring in the Northeast could be a mixed bag weather-wise, but so far they’d only gotten rain and a slushy mix of snow here and there.
Keri straightened and scanned the other booths, each one representing a piece of the tour’s chaotic ecosystem. To her left, the merch manager for ICED COBRA, the opening band, had already packed up most of their stuff and shouted something over his shoulder about inventory numbers.
YOUR MOTHER’S WORST NIGHTMARE co-headlined this show with BLACK PENNY. Their setup, to her right, was still pristine, as if no one had even bothered to shop there tonight. She didn’t know how they managed that level of organization. Their table looked like a perfectly curated boutique—shirts folded with military precision, price tags neatly aligned, and not a stray Sharpie in sight.
It wasn’t that she didn’t try. She did. Every night, she started with the best intentions, lining everything up like a merchandising wizard with a vision. But somewhere between the rush of the crowd, the endless questions, and the random chaos of the job, the neatness always unraveled. She was great at a lot of things—keeping stock numbers in her head, hustling through sales, charming the occasional drunk customer—but staying perfectly polished wasn’t one of them.
And after tonight, she supposed none of that mattered anyway. After years of being the band’s merchandise manager, she’d decided to call it quits. The thought was foreign and clung to her like an oversized band hoodie on her 5’3” frame—comfortable and warm, yet it didn’t fit right, because managing the merch and running the band's website was all she’d ever known. Even now, with the decision made, she couldn’t bring herself to tell anyone about it.
Not Tristan, her brother and the band’s lead singer, and not Nate, the band’s keyboardist, Josh, their bassist, or Cory, their drummer. After years of late nights, early load-ins, and sleepless hours on the bus, she was ready to walk away from it all. Over the past six years, she’d seen first-hand the toll this lifestyle had on roadies, production managers, and other crew members. Burn-out was real.
She paused, letting the low buzz of the venue fill the space around her—distant footsteps, the faint clatter of someone dragging equipment across the floor, and the muffled drone of stagehands wrapping up their work. Familiar sounds she never thought she’d miss, until hearing them.
Her chest tightened as she leaned back against the table. She hated goodbyes and knew exactly why. It had everything to do with her older sister taking her own life. Trina, short for Katrina, and Tristan were twins. At the time, she was eleven and Tristan and Trina were fourteen. Even though it had been twelve years since it happened and the passage of time had made it bearable, her being gone still left a gaping hole in their lives.
When she came on six years ago, she and Nate took turns making sure her brother didn’t choke on his own vomit because he’d get black-out drunk. He finally got the help he needed and had been in recovery for the last four years, but those two years had been rough for all of them.
She’d made up her mind to leave the band a couple of weeks ago, but the thought had been on her mind for a while. She saw in herself what had happened to others working behind the scenes on any tour. She had a short fuse and would snap at merch-buying fans. She hadn’t been sleeping well and had no appetite. Since the last tour, she’d lost weight, and her jeans hung on her.
She knew it was time to move on with her life, yet saying the words out loud, making it real, felt impossible. She had an idea how she’d tell the guys in the band but had a feeling it wouldn’t go great. Tristan would fight her on it. Nate would… well, he wouldn’t fight her, but he’d be sad. Hell, she was sad, thinking about not being with him on tour.
A shout of laughter broke through her thoughts, and she looked up to see Danny, one of their roadies, and Josh’s younger brother, chatting it up with the merch manager of ICED COBRA, who went over to their table and packed up the last of their gear while they swapped tour stories.
Her boxes were packed, but the table still had some clutter, and that annoyed her. She grabbed a stray empty water bottle and shoved it into a trash bag, her fingers twitching with the need to keep moving. She scooped up the scraps of paper she’d scribbled down some numbers on, knowing if she hadn’t, she would have forgotten which shirts she needed to order more of. Plus, if she stopped now, she’d have to face the silence, and the questions swirling in her head.
Was she doing the right thing by leaving? Was now a good time? And what in God’s name would she do next? The questions came fast and sharp, like they always did, but she pushed them aside and focused on the task in front of her. Tidy the tables. Readjust the ‘leaning tower’ of empty CD racks. Gather the tablecloths and put them in the rolling cart. Just finish up here and not worry about what she’d do next. She had the five-hour ride home and the rest of her life to figure it all out.
Because right now, she had a date to keep.
She waved over Danny, who probably waited for her to be done anyway.
“All set?” He asked.
“Yeah, I have to go, but can you make sure these last few boxes and this cart get on the truck?”
“No problem. I’m sure I’ll see you around, once we get back to Connecticut.”
“You know it,” she said, fist bumping him. It might be her last tour, but she had plans to come on the short summer tour to train the new merch manager. It was the least she could do. She watched Danny load up those boxes and the thought crossed her mind that the new merch manager might be standing right in front of her. She’d think more about that, once they got home. For now, she had other things on her mind.
As she left the merch area, her boots scuffed against the cement floor, echoing faintly under the hum of fluorescent lights. Picking up her pace, she hurried backstage, taking the stairs leading to the lower level below the stage. Her heart raced as she rounded a corner, her eyes scanning the rows of dressing rooms. He said he’d be in the second one.
The last night of every tour, they found each other. Maybe it was release, maybe it was comfort, or maybe it was just what two people did when they were alone in a world that demanded so much. Whatever it was, it was theirs.
As she passed the first door, her stomach flipped, and then—before she could take another step—an arm shot out and grabbed her wrist.
"What the—!"
Keri barely had time to gasp before she was hauled into the faintly lit room. The door shut behind her with a click, and her pulse jumped to her throat as she looked up, her breath catching when she saw him.
“Nate.”
He was close—closer than usual, his hand still wrapped loosely around her wrist. The soft lighting spilled over his face, catching the edges of his jaw and the messy strands of sandy blond hair falling across his forehead.
“What took you so long?” He asked, his voice low, almost teasing.
“I was working,” she said, though the words came out breathless. She tugged her wrist free, but she didn’t move away. She couldn’t, not when the light showed the intensity in his steely blue eyes that pinned her there.
“I thought you said the second door,” she panted, her senses heightened when she breathed in his musky scent that made her ache for him before his mouth came down on hers in a sensuous kiss.
“I did, but that room was taken,” he whispered, dragging his hot lips down her throat, planting soft kisses as he went. His hand skimmed down her arm, a light touch, barely there, and yet it lit her blood on fire.
She closed her eyes. She had waited for this all night.
On the previous tour, they did this more frequently, but Cory almost caught them twice, so they both decided it would be best to cut down their encounters to the last night of the tour.
It would lessen the chances of anyone, especially Tristan, catching them together. She loved the guy, but his over protectiveness of her drove everyone crazy.
Besides, the waiting amped up the sexual tension. With her bunk above his on the tour bus, his scent constantly surrounded her, making her throb for him.
Being near Nate was like stepping into the eye of a storm—calm, steady, and safe, even when everything else around her felt chaotic. He had a way of grounding her with just a look, a quiet reassurance that she could breathe again, even after the longest, hardest days. She loved things about him, like how his laugh could shake off her stress, but she wasn’t in love with him.
Not the kind of love that carried weight or longevity, anyway. She’d seen that kind of love up close—how her brothers looked at their wives, as if they were holding the world in their arms. Love like that felt unshakable, eternal, like it could stand through every storm.
She wasn’t sure if she was ready for love like that. What she felt for Nate was tethered to these moments, this life they shared on the road. And yet, the thought of walking away from Nate, of losing this bond, left a hollow ache she couldn’t quite explain. It wasn’t love, but it was something she wasn’t sure she was ready to let go of.
They each had a need to be intimate, having known each other their whole lives. Together they had survived Trina’s loss and lived through those raw emotional times. When the band got more and more successful, they’d reaped the rewards of their success together. Whatever this was couldn’t be defined. And she was okay with that.
The air between them crackled with sexual chemistry as they undressed each other in the softly lit room. Because Tristan was incredibly overprotective of her, he’d made it clear to all guys on every tour that she was off-limits, so being together with Nate like this meant they weren’t just playing with fire, but a raging inferno.
She returned Nate’s kisses while fumbling with the button on his jeans. “These need to go,” she whispered.
He continued his slow assault on her mouth and neck.
“Now,” she panted, as she abandoned the button and tugged at the waist of his jeans. She lifted his tee shirt, and her hand grazed the soft hair on his lower abdomen.
He sighed, stepped back, and lowered his jeans then his boxer briefs.
Unable to control it, a small gasp escaped her lips at his full erection, now free of confinement. She had nothing to compare it to, but she loved the look of him. Stroking his length, his eyes locked onto hers, until they fluttered shut in ecstasy and his head fell back.
Nothing else needed to be said. They’d done this dance before.
He tugged off his pants the rest of the way and sat on the sofa. Once she stripped off her own jeans and underwear, she straddled him.
Nate always wanted to take his time, to savor their connection, to make her feel respected in a way she supposed he thought she deserved. But that wasn’t what she needed from him. For her, it wasn’t about intimacy or romance. It was about escape. A way to shed the weight of the day, to quiet the noise in her head and find a release that nothing else could provide.
It wasn’t fair to him—she knew that. He deserved someone who didn’t treat his kindness like a lifeline, someone who didn’t need him just to feel stable. But she couldn’t help it. There was something about his presence that filled a hollow space she hadn’t even known existed, but what that was—she didn’t have a clue.
He held her hips while she slid down over him, and they groaned together.
She lifted her shirt over her head and undid her bra, tossing it on the floor. His hot mouth landed on her hard nipple, the heat sending tendrils of pleasure to her core. He still held her helping her to keep their familiar rhythm.
“You feel incredible,” he said, his voice trembling and breathless.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered.
He pulled her nipple into his hot mouth again, while one of his hands wandered from her hip to her sex. When he stroked his thumb over her most sensitive spot, her world exploded.
Throwing her head back, she cried out, arching her spine, and coming hard. She placed her hand over his so he wouldn’t stop touching her there. Over and over, she contracted against him.
His breathing grew erratic, and a guttural growl tore from his lips. He moved his hand back to her hip to hold her still, shuddering and emptying himself into her. She watched as he closed his eyes, going to that unknown place, a private escape, unreachable and untouchable. For a fleeting second, she envied him for it. He seemed so unguarded, so completely free, while she remained bound, always holding something back.
Could Nate feel the distance she kept between them, even in their most intimate moments?
She touched her forehead to his, both coming back to earth, while catching their breath.
“I need a minute,” she panted.
“Same,” he said, still breathless.
“Definitely worth the wait,” she said, lifting herself from him.
He nodded. “I wish we didn’t have to wait at all. I still think we should just come clean and tell people about us.”
Keri snorted as she buttoned her jeans. “We’ve talked about this. We can’t do that.”
They needed to leave it alone.
“I just don’t like the sneaking around,” he continued. “I especially don’t like that you think what we do is a dirty little secret, when it’s more than that to me. Lately, you’re all I think about.”
Her heart stuttered at the way he said it, the quiet desperation in his voice. For a moment, she thought he might say it—the one thing she’d been dreading to hear, the one thing she hadn’t been ready for. That he loved her.
He stopped short of saying it, but instead of relief, a knot tightened in her chest.
There were too many things at stake. If Nate confessed his feelings, it would shatter the fragile balance she’d worked so hard to maintain. It would risk the trust between her and Tristan and destroy the one thing she tried to preserve. Her extremely protective brother would no doubt see her and Nate being together as taboo. He and Nate had been best friends since preschool. He was bound to feel betrayed.
Her brother’s friendship with Nate, the secrecy of their connection, her own emotional walls—all of it hung in the balance. She wasn’t sure which would break first, but she knew that whatever happened, nothing would ever be the same again.
* * *
Nate watched her carefully, noting the tightness in her jaw and the way her black liner swooped up at the corners of her beautiful green eyes as they flitted away from his. He could see it—the panic, the walls going up around her. He opened his mouth to press further, to ask her to stay so he could explain what he meant, but before he could, she brushed past him and headed to the door.
“I’m just… I’m not ready for that, Nate,” she said softly, her voice shaky, but the words were firm. He could see the walls closing in, shutting him out. “Anyway, we should get going. You want to go out first?”
Her words stung, but it wasn’t the rejection that hit him the hardest—it was the way she ran from it all. He wanted to stop her, to ask her to stay and talk, but she was already moving away, her eyes focused anywhere but on him.
His stomach tensed as he watched her go, the space between them growing even wider than before. He had hoped she might meet him halfway, but it was clear she wasn’t ready to take that step.
But even with all of that, he loved everything about her. Her eyes, her long sandy brown hair with bangs parted on the side that framed her face. Her body and the way it perfectly fit in his arms.
“Are you going back to our bus?” She asked.
The fact that she swiftly changed the subject was not lost on him, but he wouldn’t harp on it. He went along with her. “I’m going to Tristan’s bus first because Josh mentioned bringing someone back to our bus.”
Keri twisted her mouth into a frown. “The number one rule is no one brings anyone back to the bus.”
“You’re right, but I’m sure he figures it’s the last night, so we won’t say anything.”
Keri hesitated at the door, her hand on the handle, before glancing back at him. She opened her mouth, then closed it again, as if weighing whether to say something.
Finally, her voice came out quieter, with a small note of regret. “I’m really sorry, Nate,” she murmured, looking away. “I know you want more. I wish I could promise that, but I’m not at a place to do that.” She gave a small, helpless shrug, as if the words didn’t fit right, but she had to say them.
“If you didn’t have any feelings for me, you wouldn’t even want to do this. Right?”
She avoided his gaze again. “I just think we’re better as friends, you know, the way we’ve been forever.”
He snorted. “Ker, being just ‘pals’ ended the night of Tristan and Elise’s wedding, when we left the friend zone for the land of fornication. I like to think of us as lovers, but I know you think we’re just sex-buddies.”
Her eyes grew wide, but he wasn’t sorry he said it.
“And while we’re laying all our cards on the table, what’s been bothering you these past couple of days? You haven’t been your sarcastic, snarky self. Do you have something else you need to tell me?” He asked.
Keri looked at the floor, and his heart pitched. Damn, he hated that he was right.
“How do you know I have something to tell you?” She asked.
He rolled his eyes. “Like you just said. We’ve known each other our whole lives. I can read you the same way I read Tristan. You’ve been a little off. To be honest, I was surprised you even showed up here.”
She crossed her arms in front of herself and nodded. “I’m leaving the band.”
His stomach slid to his feet. Since the band got big enough to get a tour bus, he had never toured without her. He couldn’t imagine not hearing her soft snores in the bunk above him. Not smelling her familiar almond vanilla body wash he got her for Christmas. So many thoughts ran through his head, until her gaze connected with his.
“I was going to tell Elise first then have everyone over to their house to make the announcement.”
“Why, though? Is it the sex thing? Because we can—”
“It’s not that. That’s the one thing that has made it bearable this time out.”
He inhaled deeply. That was a little bit of a relief. “Then what is it?”
“I’m burned out. I’ve been doing it for six years. I want to do something else.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, Nate. That’s why I want to stop doing this—to figure it out. Look, the band is your life. You and the rest of the guys write the music, you perform it, and you’re great at it. I’d like to, I don’t know, maybe get a nine to five job. Maybe get my own place. I’ve always wanted to get a cat, or maybe even take Jarvis, Tristan and Elise’s cat, while you guys are out on tour. But the real reason is, I have no idea what else I’m good at.”
He grinned, and she blushed. “Besides that. You know what I mean.”
His heart went out to her. He walked into her personal space and took her hands. He had every intention of kissing her, but when he tried to, she moved away.
“Don’t,” she said softly.
“Oh, right, you don’t want any touching or emotion, because it’s all about the sex. Just give me my orgasm so I can get on with my day.”
He hadn’t meant for his voice to escalate or break from the hurt, but what did she expect?
Tears pooled in her eyes as she yanked the door open—only to freeze.
Elise stood on the other side, hand raised mid-knock, her gaze shifting from Keri to him, eyes widening as the weight of the moment settled between them.
I was excited to read this book as I have not read many band romances and enjoyed getting to know this story’s characters.
The characters were the strongest aspect of this story and were realistic. There was a lot of chemistry in how Keri, Nate and their friends and family interacted that worked well to push the story forward. Side characters worked well as foils for Keri, and they were her biggest supporters throughout her journey.
Nate, the male main character, was emotionally mature and tried his best to support Keri as she faced the parts of her that she had put off healing, but also held firm in his boundaries for what they meant for their relationship.
Keri facing her past traumas was dragged out and frustrating at moments of this book. I felt sympathy for Keri, but her thought process was aggravating to read about in certain situations. A lot of her internal monologue was irrational, but I could kind of see it as realistic because facing trauma head on is never easy and everybody copes with their triggers at their own pace. The tone of the story was downcast and serious at moments but Keri’s coping with humor worked as a slight reprieve.
Nate was so sweet and understanding of Keri’s needs. I definitely enjoyed reading from Nate’s perspective more and could truly feel the love he felt for Keri when it came to his own internal monologue. The care he showed for her definitely saved some of how I viewed Keri myself. He had seen her at her best and worst and wanted nothing but the best for her, regardless of what they meant for their relationship. Nate was romantic and had depth to himself that was more than just Keri’s friend/lover.
I recommend this book if you’re a romance lover who is looking for a band romance about falling in love while addressing your traumas.
3.5 ⭐️