Cursed to die. Fighting to survive. Forced to relive the same agonizing fate for all eternity…
I remember the club. The pounding of the beat pulsing in my veins, the way my body moved with the music.
Then — nothing.
My memories are locked away in the dark corners of my mind, replaced by an insatiable hunger nothing can fill.
Until I found him.
I felt his presence before I saw him. My blood calls for this mysterious man whose darkness matches my own. Being near him sets my body on fire, making me ache for every touch… every taste.
It’s as if my soul recognizes him, loosening my trapped memories. Each time a new one breaks free, I wonder if he holds the key to what I’ve lost, what I can’t remember. But everything comes with a price. I’m beginning to fear the cost of remembering all that I’ve done might be more than I can bear. What if the monster of this story… is me?
Cursed to die. Fighting to survive. Forced to relive the same agonizing fate for all eternity…
I remember the club. The pounding of the beat pulsing in my veins, the way my body moved with the music.
Then — nothing.
My memories are locked away in the dark corners of my mind, replaced by an insatiable hunger nothing can fill.
Until I found him.
I felt his presence before I saw him. My blood calls for this mysterious man whose darkness matches my own. Being near him sets my body on fire, making me ache for every touch… every taste.
It’s as if my soul recognizes him, loosening my trapped memories. Each time a new one breaks free, I wonder if he holds the key to what I’ve lost, what I can’t remember. But everything comes with a price. I’m beginning to fear the cost of remembering all that I’ve done might be more than I can bear. What if the monster of this story… is me?
"Stella. Dear Stella. You can run away, or at least try. I'll always find you, or you'll be the one that finds me."
No! Never!
"But you can't, okay? You have to fight this. You have to forget because remembering won't help you. And I don't need you near as a distraction, believe me."
My body shivers as I hear his voice in the background. The voice I’m anxious to hear. The one that haunts me day and night. The one that's become a part of me.
Some sick part of me wants to hear it again, while another part wishes for his voice to disappear.
Opening my eyes, I look around in panic. I must have fallen asleep because the woman sitting next to me on the bus is no longer there, and the woman sitting in front of me is staring at me with an intrigued expression.
Holding my backpack close to me, I take out the last can of Red Bull I have left. Lifting the ring pull, I take a long sip, wishing the sleepiness would disappear. I swallow, forcing myself to stay as alert as possible. I don't remember the last time I slept for more than three hours in a row.
Once you start hearing voices and having dreams that feel so realistic, you're afraid of sleeping. It can bring you down even more into the abyss of the unknown.
"Stella."
Shaking my head in denial, I send a silent prayer for this to stop.
I must be going crazy.
I swear he's whispering my name into my ear right now. If I could afford a psychiatrist, she'd probably look skeptically at me and decide my fate by calling nurses to take me to the nearest psychiatric institution.
Yes, that's what you've been saying to yourself for two months now. That you're going crazy.
But are you?
Taking a long last sip before throwing the empty can into the little trash can next to me, I remind myself to go to the grocery store on the way home and buy another pack of energy drinks.
Over the last few months, my love for sugary drinks has been replaced by the need to consume Red Bull. The need to stay alert enough to move on to the next day.
The bus stops at the station, and I hurry out. The cold evening wind shakes me, and I pull my coat tightly around my body. I step forward with shaky legs. I'm not sure why, but this street feels so familiar. With absolutely no idea where I'm heading, I look back and forth as the weight of the unknown falls on me.
How did I get here? This isn’t the way to work.
I close my eyes for a split second, needing to regain my strength. But that's enough for the mystery man to invade my thoughts with his menacing promise, dark brown hair, light purple eyes, and broad shoulders.
He keeps repeating my name, calling me.
Where is he?
Everything is vague when it comes to the pictures in my memory. The only thing I know is that I need to keep moving forward.
Out of nowhere, I notice a strange shadow up ahead. A shadow that becomes clearer and clearer.
He walks away, his piercing eyes looking at me as he continues to call my name like a song. I move forward after him. I'm drawn to him. He disappears behind black doors with a neon sign flashing above that spells out WIX.
Maybe I'll be able to find answers there.
Maybe that's where he's waiting for me. I have to get there.
No! You must escape. Run away!
Torn between my thoughts, I take a step back, only to take ten more steps forward. I can hear noise coming from the club, so close yet so far away from where I stand. My body loses control and drops to the ground. Tiredness sweeps over me.
I have to make it. I'll succeed; I'll talk to him, and I'll get all the answers. He'll explain to me who he is, right?
"Stella, come to me."
"Don't, Stella. You have to go," the same voice says, confusing me.
I try to regulate the blurring that grips me, even with my eyes closed, but everything is still fuzzy and unclear when I open my eyes.
Another figure approaches me and soon completes the few steps toward me. Disappointment slaps me that it's not the man with the deep voice. Alertness crushes me, making my heartbeat increase. I need to disappear.
"No, no, no. Please, no," I beg as a weird feeling settles inside me that I'm in danger. This man also looks familiar. His black eyes are pure evil.
"Stella, my dear, you didn't think you could escape from me." His voice drifts over me, filled with confidence and mockery. He grabs me and picks me up. I'm light as a feather for him; he’s all muscle and I'm nothing.
"Let me go!" I plead.
"I can't do that. I haven't finished punishing you. You will suffer for a long time, until I get sick of it. But I can assure you, I don’t get enough easily."
"Please, tell me the truth," I mumble and look at his cruel face. His piercing gaze amplifies the tremors in my body, and the emptiness in his eyes seeps into me and overpowers me. "Who are you?"
"You don't remember me? Oh, that's too bad. I'm your brother, and you are the biggest pain in my ass."
"My brother? I don't have a brother," I protest. Puzzled, I look deeply into his eyes as if they can bring any comfort, or at least confirmation.
No. I don’t have a brother. I am an only child. His cruel eyes aren’t familiar. They are empty and lifeless, yet so beautiful.
“You must have me confused with someone else,” I tell him.
"You may not have a brother now. I'm your brother from another time."
"I don't understand."
"Shhh... don't worry. Soon you will understand. Soon you will remember, just to forget all over again." He scratches my face with the bristles on his cheek, inhaling my scent.
I feel the end. The end of the beginning. I know one step separates me from death, and I close my eyes, surrendering to my fate. Suddenly, I feel the pressure applied to my neck and the sting. My eyes are wide open as the blood splashes.
**
Will:
A few hours earlier
She walks out of her apartment building. She doesn’t see me, but I see her. I see the dark circles under her eyes and the way her shoulders slump in defeat. The way her body shakes with each step forward. It happens every time she’s restless. Every time her memories come close to the surface.
Blowing out a breath, I march in the shadows she lives behind, trying to keep my pace slow so she won't notice me.
It has become my habit to follow her. I enjoy it. It provides me with enough satisfaction to keep doing it over and over again. I never dreamed I would follow her in the darkness as the only means of possible contact, but at this stage, I will take what life gives me.
This allows me to be close to her. Close enough to smell her while she sleeps and feel a part of her life. But still far enough away for the sake of my sanity.
Stella runs to the bus, and I rush after her. She gets in and I follow, sitting at the back.
I find myself fighting the temptation to sit next to her and tell her everything, the whole truth, just so she can look at me with the longing she looked at me with then. In another life.
I can't. I must not evoke her memories to inspire hope when I haven't found a way to save her. It's too early.
A few stops later, she hurries off the bus.
Deep in my thoughts, I notice her leaving and I rush out after her.
Shit. I swear. She found the club again. Every time she remembers, she comes to this place, and each time it escalates her pain even more.
I move past her. Making my way to the club, I glance back. My eyes lock with hers. Shock is written all over her delicate face. Her stare is so confused. I can see the wheels turning in her head.
Swallowing hard, I break eye contact and enter the club.
I order Mark, the bouncer, to not allow anyone to enter before opening time, hoping it will stop her from sniffing out more information.
I walk over to the bar and pour myself a glass of whiskey. "Did you check the new contract I sent you?" Dima's voice sounds behind me.
Suppressing a sigh, I turn around to face him. Dima is part owner of the club. "I don’t think it’s wise to hire them."
"And why is that?"
"They are dealing drugs, and you know this club is drug-free. I won't allow it to become an underground drug base." Like hell I will let him destroy Stella’s and my legacy. The only reason I haven’t sold the place is because of my memories of her here. I won’t let him take that from me.
"You’re not the only one deciding,” Dima says.
"Yeah, well, last time I checked, you can't do anything without my signature, so good luck with that."
"Not for long," he says before leaving.
Blowing out a breath, I take a long sip of the whiskey and pour myself another glass.
Looking around the floor, a memory strikes me. A memory of Stella and me entering this place for the first time before buying in. The moment she saw this building, she fell in love with it.
I clicked on the old radio the previous owner had left and we moved around the dance floor. I reached out and she put her little hands in mine. I held her close to me as we started moving to the sounds of the music.
Is it sick that I see her in every corner of this place? Maybe. But it's better than the alternative of not remembering her at all.
"No. Please!"
A cry for help snaps me out of the memory.
Stella.
Sharpening my hearing, I focus on the deep voices around me.
"Let me go!"
Quickly, I trail after her soft voice.
In the alley near the club, I notice Dima standing too close to Stella. Fury clouds me as he bends down, forcing his fangs into her soft skin
Stella tries to fight him, but with no luck. She is a mere human, no match for his force. Without giving it too much thought, I flash to him, pushing him hard. His body loses posture before hitting the ground.
"Stay away from her," I growl, more than ready to fight if necessary.
With a smug smile on his face, he quickly recovers, standing up. "I was just tasting her. Don’t worry, I would never truly harm my beloved sister."
"Somehow, I don’t believe that."
"That's your problem. Though I do understand your concern. She is tasty."
"Leave!" Roaring, I flash my fangs. "Now!"
Without replying, he flashes away.
I turn to Stella, who’s lying on the floor. Her hand presses on the wound in a failed attempt to stop the bleeding. I bend down to her. "Stella, look at me.” Her eyes flutter. "It's going to be okay," I repeat over and over.
Biting my palm, I place my hand above her mouth, letting the blood drops reach her lips. "Soon it will all be over, and you will feel better, I promise."
She opens her mouth to reply, but instead, she swallows hard.
Looking deeply into her tormented eyes, I whisper, "You will forget everything that happened here. You will go to sleep now, and when you wake up, it will be a new day."
Have you ever watched a movie or read a book and wondered if this is a sequel because past events are discussed, and you have no idea what they are talking about? Or, characters are portrayed as if the viewer/reader should be familiar with them. Cursed Memory by River Ash is part one in a two-part storyline, but it reads as a continuation of another story.
It was frustrating the lack of background information for key characters: Will, Dima, Stella, or the witches. A third man in the prologue stands behind Lira (Stella's friend) at club WIX, but he seems irrelevant after the introduction, even though Dima is not. Who was the third man?
As Stella attempts to remember and Will fights to keep her alive, we get a small glimpse into their past. This tiny sneak peek came a little too late. There were so many unanswered questions after the novella's conclusion. How many times has Stella been reborn? How long have Stella and Will been cursed? Why does Dima loathe Stella? There are many more questions, but these are the ones I want to see explored in the next and final installment. Plus, I want more details about the FLAME MOUNTAIN coven and the mysterious Hailey. I'm unsure if the writer will fill in all the gaps in the sequel, but I'm optimistic they will.
There were some high notes in Cursed Memory: Part One (Cursed Bloodline). I loved the background information Stella unearthed while at the library. I also liked how Stella and Will kept finding their way back to each other. I'm sure they'll get their paranormal HEA in the final book.
If you're enamored with vampire stories, give this quick read a shot. It's under 100 pages, so perfect for readers who don't have the time or energy to put into reading a full-length novel.