Menopause has had a bad rep since day one, and for good reasons! The experience women face before, during, and after menopause has caused many women to give up and feel doomed. This should never be the case! Menopause is a new season of life that can be controlled and experienced at a higher level than imagined. Women need to feel empowered to control every aspect of this time and hopeful that life is not ending but a new beginning is taking place. My hope is that this book educates you and brings you hope for a bright future! These can be and are the best years of our lives!
Menopause has had a bad rep since day one, and for good reasons! The experience women face before, during, and after menopause has caused many women to give up and feel doomed. This should never be the case! Menopause is a new season of life that can be controlled and experienced at a higher level than imagined. Women need to feel empowered to control every aspect of this time and hopeful that life is not ending but a new beginning is taking place. My hope is that this book educates you and brings you hope for a bright future! These can be and are the best years of our lives!
Chapter 1
The Good, Bad and Ugly:Â Menopause Is a Part of Life
Menopause inevitably is a part of life—but it is the part that no one likes to talk about. What do we even mean when we refer to “menopause”? It’s such a scary-sounding word!
How different would life be for most middle-aged women if we talked more about the challenges that we face in midlife? Imagine if we were to empower each other to deal with our physical changes and prepare each other psychologically and emotionally for what lies ahead! Would we still feel dissatisfied with our bodies and be unhappy with the changes that come with aging? Perhaps to some degree, but knowledge is power and community with other women is more powerful still.Â
Menopause is the natural, biological process in a woman’s life when her menstrual cycle ends—marking the end of her reproductive years. This is a natural process of growth that we cannot escape.
Misconceptions About Menopause
It is true that our bodies undergo changes during menopause. Even so, there are many misconceptions about this stage of womanhood that need to be addressed.Â
The first misconception is that most if not all women experience menopause at approximately the same time and in basically the same way. In fact, no two women have the same menopausal experience. For many women, the menopause process starts around the age of 51. That said, there is no specific age; some women experience the first signs of menopause in their 40s, while for others the transition begins later. The bottom line is this: No two women are alike, and no two sets of menopause symptoms are alike, either.
Another misconception is that menopause means the end of a woman’s sex life. Not so. During menopause, you may feel discomfort during sexual intercourse because as estrogen levels drop in your body, less blood flows to the vagina causing it to feel dry. However, there are over-the-counter vaginal moisturizers you can use to keep the vaginal tissues healthy. Before purchasing any lubricant from your local pharmacy, however, please consult your physician or gynecologist for professional guidance.
A third misconception about menopause is that hormone therapy is dangerous. In fact, the risks presented by hormone therapy depend on a particular person’s health status and history. Hormone therapy is safe for low-risk menopausal women under the age of 60 and can be used to treat a variety of menopause symptoms, such as hot flashes and insomnia, without any measurable increased risk of breast cancer (Pevzner, 2020). It is important to note, however, that hormone therapy is not for everyone. For instance, women who have had breast cancer, uterine cancer, liver disease or heart disease should consider foregoing this form of therapy.
Yet another misconception about menopause is that hormone therapy is the only treatment option for menopausal symptoms. To the contrary, lifestyle and behavioral changes, without more, have themselves been frequently cited as effective in alleviating menopausal symptoms. For example, a study conducted at Mayo Clinic in 2019 found that middle-aged women who practiced mindfulness experienced fewer symptoms (Carlson Kehren, 2019). Mindfulness can help in managing irritability, anxiety, and depression.
The Three Stages of Menopause
There are three stages of menopause: perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause.
Perimenopause – Stage One
Perimenopause, the first stage, is also known as the menopause transition. These are the years leading up to menopause. Typically, women start to experience symptoms such as hot flashes, insomnia, a decrease in bone density, irregular menstrual cycle, lack of sleep, and mood swings due to the fluctuations in hormones. For most women, perimenopause starts between the ages of 45–55 and lasts for as long as 14 years, depending on the age at which it started, lifestyle, race, and ethnicity.
Perimenopause affects women differently. Some women do not experience the symptoms at all, while others experience mild symptoms that can be managed with lifestyle changes, such as reducing alcohol and caffeine intake, being  physically active, and having a nutritionally balanced diet. Some women, however, may experience more acute symptoms that require medical attention, such as hormone-replacement therapy, to help treat symptoms.
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Menopause – Stage Two
Menopause is the second stage of the menopause transition. During this stage, a woman stops having her monthly period and can no longer get pregnant. As a result, this stage marks the end of a woman’s reproductive years. The perimenopausal symptoms described above typically continue throughout menopause.
Postmenopause – Stage Three
Postmenopause is the last stage of menopause. It is diagnosed a year after a woman completely stops having her period. Any form of bleeding one may experience during this time should be cause for immediate medical attention.Â
They say only two things certain in life, death and taxes. If my recent reading has reaffirmed anything, it is to only reinforce that that phase was very much penned by a man (I'm looking at you, Benjamin Franklin). Because, for half the world's population there is another inevitable life stage, the menopause.
On the surface Melissa Ann's guide, Control Menopause Before it Controls You is something that screams "female only, men barred!" (and for what it's worth, the cover design doesn't help). And yet, this is a guide that could, and should, be read by all genders or all ages. In circa 150 pages, Ann's book covers all three stages of the menopause: perimenopause, menopause and, finally, post menopause. All three stages are then broken down into guidance, including the bodily changes to expect during and lifestyle improvements that can lessen symptoms. Guidance even goes as far as to recommend particular food categories and exercise routines, spiritual activities to try out and conversations to have with partners.
It this latter point which makes Control Menopause Before it Controls You universal to all. While some sections specifically call on the need for open and frank conversations, it is hard to find any aspect of the book that wouldn't benefit men in terms of improving their understanding of such a key life stage for women. After all, these are not just the female partners, they are the friends, work colleagues and family members of their male counterparts too.
Discussions around the menopause have come a long way in recent years. In the office I can barely make it ten yards before being hit in the face with a promotional flyer for an upcoming talk on women's health. It is an improvement, make no mistake, but we still have a long way to go. This is book, with its engaging tone and inclusive terminology, is a good place to start.
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