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Break-Up Survival: I Lost Him but I Found Myself

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Loved it! 😍

Break – Up Survival is an honest real life case study of surviving a destructive breakup.

Synopsis

A break-up can be as powerful as a cruel hurricane. Mine once defeated my ego, devoured my sanity, and devastated my mind. Thankfully it did not destroy me, but instead has spurred me to become a fearless survivor.     

From a broken heart to a resilient soul, may Break-Up Survival accompany you through
your journey toward emotional recovery. This is my honest conversation with you—I am here to help you reach your best self after overcoming a break-up.

Highlights from Florence:

*My goal as the author
As a real-life case study, I would like to share with you how surviving a destructive break-up propelled me to be a stronger and wiser person.
Not only do I tell it, I prove it. I want you not only to survive, but also to THRIVE!

*Why this book is different
Drawing from my work experience as a financial auditor for seven years, I apply relevant economic theories and financial principles to my perspective on how to get over a break-up efficiently and evaluate a relationship rationally.
Many of the experiences I share will mirror your own. I offer my insights in a practical, compassionate, and humorous way to help you defeat your bitterness.

Break – ups can either make or break an individual. In Break – Up Survival, Florence Chow shows us that it is possible to survive a break-up with your dignity intact and be stronger and wiser from the experience. The author does not only talk about romantic breakups but also touches on other types of break - ups namely:

·       Family members, business partnerships, employer/employees, and friends

·       Losing a loved one

·       Losing skills, health, youth

·       Losing your old self

·       Career change

·       Moving out of your comfort zone


I love the fact that the author does not only focus on romantic break – ups because other type of break-ups can be just as devastating. Understanding this going in can make the blow a little easier to deal with. Florence shows the readers that if we learn how to manage crisis it can lead to growth instead of destroying us. Sometimes individuals just need to know another way exists and Break – Up Survival provides that other way. Most people do not want to share the intimate details of a breakup with the world, so bravo to Florence Chow. Her vulnerability might help someone who is struggling with a break – up right now.


Florence Chow applied economic and financial principles she learned at school and work to her emotional situation. This is a new, but rather interesting perspective that I have never seen elsewhere. Break – Up Survival shows that no matter how well – educated, decent, or independent you are, a break – up can still bring you to your knees. The good things is the author does not just bemoan her break – up, she also shows how to successfully rebound from the devastation a break – up can bring.


Break – ups can be a devastating experience so learning how to survive a breakup is critical. Whether you are facing a romantic or other type of break – up, this book can help you get back on your feet in a reasonable amount of time. Break – Up Survival comes straight from the horse’s mouth to your ears. This is a case study of loss, honesty, and survival from one person that we can all learn from.

Reviewed by

Mardene Carr is from the beautiful Island of Jamaica. She is a trained Librarian, doctoral student, blogger, journal reviewer, proofreader,and editor. She has authored several journal articles and blog posts. Mardene is also a motivational speaker and international student coach.

Synopsis

A break-up can be as powerful as a cruel hurricane. Mine once defeated my ego, devoured my sanity, and devastated my mind. Thankfully it did not destroy me, but instead has spurred me to become a fearless survivor.     

From a broken heart to a resilient soul, may Break-Up Survival accompany you through
your journey toward emotional recovery. This is my honest conversation with you—I am here to help you reach your best self after overcoming a break-up.

Highlights from Florence:

*My goal as the author
As a real-life case study, I would like to share with you how surviving a destructive break-up propelled me to be a stronger and wiser person.
Not only do I tell it, I prove it. I want you not only to survive, but also to THRIVE!

*Why this book is different
Drawing from my work experience as a financial auditor for seven years, I apply relevant economic theories and financial principles to my perspective on how to get over a break-up efficiently and evaluate a relationship rationally.
Many of the experiences I share will mirror your own. I offer my insights in a practical, compassionate, and humorous way to help you defeat your bitterness.

The Reason I Wrote This Book

i)   My Break-Up as the Beginning

 

A break-up is like the flu—medicine may not cure it, but time will heal it. It feels awful, but hold on! It just takes a little longer. Be patient. You will eventually recover and grow much stronger, and may even become immune to heartbreak.

This is the advice I gave my friends when they whined to me about their break-ups. To be honest, though, I learned the hard way that it was easier to say these words than to live by them. While going through my own break-up, I found out just how destructive it could be to part from someone with whom I had developed such a deep connection.

My emotional crisis brought on an overwhelming bitterness that enslaved me. I fell into a spiral of countless sleepless nights during which I thought a lot about myself, my life, and the meaning of living in this world. During the darkest moments soon after my break-up, inspired by my chaotic feelings, I wrote a few songs and their background stories, which became the starting point of this book.

Following my break-up, I felt ashamed. It hurt not only my heart, but also my ego. I was upset with myself, but only with myself, and no one else. I was sad about my stupidity and mad at my irrationality.

I thought, “I’m a strong person; I’m well-educated; I always pay my own bills; I stay healthy and fit; I’m a decent person ... Now, why should I be heartbroken because one man won’t continue to see me? There are so many single men out there. What’s the point of being so attached to him? How can I be so foolish? What’s wrong with me?”

After having time to review my broken relationship objectively, I began telling myself, “It’s OK if you do not feel all right. Intelligent scientists, successful entrepreneurs, strong athletes … all sorts of capable people deal with emotional crises, too. You’re just one of millions. You’re made of flesh and blood, not cold stone, so you have feelings. You don’t have to blame yourself; you should just be kind to yourself.”

This break-up led me to severe grief, yet also stimulated me to live the life I aspired to have. Instead of remaining frustrated and negative, I endeavored to “optimize” myself—I persevered in fitness class and strengthened my body; I made sizable progress in my career through my dedication and time management skills; and, most importantly, I recorded my unforgettable experience in music and words, which was incredibly fulfilling.

At long last, I defeated my heartbreak using my “secret weapons.” One year after my break-up, I unveiled the upgraded version of myself.

I lost myself when I was with him.

I then lost him, but I found myself.

Pondering my break-up, I realized that many of the economic and financial principles I had learned in school and the working world could be applied to emotional situations as well. Viewing my emotional avalanche from this rational perspective helped me walk through the sadness and then successfully rebound. My feelings evolved from shock, to a sense of betrayal, to depression, and then, finally, to relief.

Overcoming the break-up blues was a triumph for me. Recognizing how these experiences and thoughts had enabled me to recover from the break-up, I decided to share my methodology with you to assist you in your journey. In contrast to giving guidance, I lead you to come up with the best solution for yourself. 


ii)   Understanding Other Types of Break-Ups

Besides parting with a lover, other types of separations may also lead to heartache. Therefore, the term “break-up” in this book refers not only to the end of a romantic relationship, but also to many other types of “goodbyes,” including:

§ The termination of relationships with family members, friends, employers/employees, and/or business partners

§ The loss of a loved one

§ The loss of something important (such as a skill, one’s health, one’s youth, etc.)

§ Transformation (farewell to one’s old self)

§ Career change

§ Moving out of one’s comfort zone

There are different goodbyes I have said and will say to different parties throughout my entire life, before the last “Goodbye!” I will eventually hear from this world.


iii) What I Offer You in This Book

Here, I honestly share my experiences and perception to inspire, enlighten, and entertain you. I boldly tell you my views, some of which might not be openly spoken about. I sincerely hope my feelings resonate with you and my words are of value to you.

Break-ups are similar to perfect storms. They can demolish one’s life unexpectedly and cruelly. They may occur several times throughout one’s life—very likely between adolescence and middle age, but also at other stages. My heart and soul have grown stronger from every emotional challenge. Having survived this devastating crisis caused by a failed romance, I am now able to manage my emotional issues much better than I was before. In many situations in daily life, work, and study, one’s emotional intelligence, known as “emotional quotient” (EQ), has a greater impact than cognitive intelligence, known as “intelligence quotient” (IQ), in terms of solving a problem.

Challenge and opportunity have an interesting relationship—very often, crisis gives rise to growth. To memorialize my break-up, I wrote a few songs and then this book, which became souvenirs of my vanished love story. While writing candidly, I worried about what my family and friends would say about me behind my back. I wondered, “Will they judge me for disclosing my private pain?” Despite such concerns, I decided to express my opinions openly because I place greater value on benefiting others by sharing my experience than on what people think of me. Offering you this book is like making my secret diary public.

This book (totaling 15 chapters which are comprised of 88 sections) will bring you a mixture of feelings—sadness, bitterness, empathy, and delight, as well as inspiration. This work is not exactly soul-healing chicken soup; it is more like spirit-boosting spicy chili chowder. Some of my readers found this content blunt, while others finished reading and felt encouraged, like seeing fresh green leaves in the spring following a long, cold winter.

I also wish to take this opportunity to motivate you to write whenever you are facing a difficult situation (a question for you is prepared, and space for you to write is reserved at the end of most sections of each chapter—I hope you will engage with the content). It is not only a course of writing and creating, but also a process of logical reasoning, because you think a lot while you are writing, reviewing, and revising. Very likely, by the time you finish turning your thoughts into words, your problem will be solved.

People have different values, mentalities, and lifestyles. Everyone is unique. I hope that you will digest my thoughts in your own way and let them benefit your life.

Break-ups are never easy. It takes strength and patience to get through them. However, after overcoming one, you will realize how much stronger and wiser you have grown.

My hope is that my experiences and insights here will be your companion as you walk through the darkness and then welcome the sunrise, enjoy the fresh breeze, and smile in bliss.


About the author

I started my career as a financial auditor working at PwC Shenzhen Office during 2005-2012 which enabled me to establish a substantial career base. After turning 30, I began pursuing my enthusiasm for creative writing. In 2014, I embarked on a journey of making online content as a lifestyle blogger. view profile

Published on March 20, 2020

50000 words

Worked with a Reedsy professional 🏆

Genre: Sex & Relationships

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