Lev has been running a successful blackmailing operation out of his boarding school since he was a kid and itâs gone off without a hitch for years. Now that heâs about to graduate, it seems a very inconvenient time to fall in love - especially while the principal is playing dangerous games with Lev and the other students. Just what is the principalâs endgame? And who unleashed all these hitmen on Lev?
Meanwhile, Levâs sister Mary is having troubles of her own. Desperate people seem to follow her everywhere she goes - yet, despite her sincerest attempts to help, no one ever seems to get better. Things go from bad to worse when Mary suddenly has to run away from the school to help Lev with his newest scheme...
Combining the psychological acuity and moral ambiguity of Robert Cormier (The Chocolate War, I Am the Cheese) with the modern trappings of a young adult mystery Ă la Karen M. McManus (One of Us Is Lying, Two Can Keep a Secret), Being Illegitimate is a fun, fresh espionage novel full of countless twists that are sure to keep readers guessing as it bulldozes its way towards its breath-baiting, larger-than-life climax.
Lev has been running a successful blackmailing operation out of his boarding school since he was a kid and itâs gone off without a hitch for years. Now that heâs about to graduate, it seems a very inconvenient time to fall in love - especially while the principal is playing dangerous games with Lev and the other students. Just what is the principalâs endgame? And who unleashed all these hitmen on Lev?
Meanwhile, Levâs sister Mary is having troubles of her own. Desperate people seem to follow her everywhere she goes - yet, despite her sincerest attempts to help, no one ever seems to get better. Things go from bad to worse when Mary suddenly has to run away from the school to help Lev with his newest scheme...
Combining the psychological acuity and moral ambiguity of Robert Cormier (The Chocolate War, I Am the Cheese) with the modern trappings of a young adult mystery Ă la Karen M. McManus (One of Us Is Lying, Two Can Keep a Secret), Being Illegitimate is a fun, fresh espionage novel full of countless twists that are sure to keep readers guessing as it bulldozes its way towards its breath-baiting, larger-than-life climax.
Levâs neck ticked. A pulse shifted somewhere far inside him. He inhaled deeply through his angular nose where the subtle scent of hundreds-year-old timber wafted through his nostrils, settling into his hippocampus and unearthing years of emotional imbalances. It was maddening. One more thing he had to take care of. One more thing in his way. He checked his watch and huffed. She would pay for wasting his morning.Â
The schoolâs old wooden floors were bloated and seeping with prejudices built up from over two centuries. Levâs brown monk shoes tapped methodically over them through the empty hall. He turned a corner into the English department wing. The light fixtures had recently been replaced here. Unfortunately, the original style had been discontinued long ago. In the end they were forced to compromise with a more modern, hourglass version of the lanterns that used to line the halls. Now the whole floor had the ambiance of a desperate hotel.Â
Lev stopped. His thin fingers moved fluidly from his side to the door to Ms. Callahanâs AP Propaganda in American Literature class. The historical door swung open - no squeaking, no visible flaws. Fifteen pairs of eyes turned on him. An entire room full of future masterâs degrees who would crumble under a sense of worthlessness. They were doomed to wind up as alcoholics, wandering, or dead before turning 30.Â
Already, five bodies had been sent home this year, due mostly to sleeping pills. Although Billie Earnst went a more dramatic way. There was blood all over her duvet cover. It was a shame; Lev had particularly liked her performance in the original school play the drama department had written and produced over Christmas, Blueberry Brandy. It was the story of a poor, young married couple who could never seem to make ends meet no matter how hard they tried. Out of desperation, they started exploiting one another on online social sites. Eventually, they began to believe in their warped, delusional lives. As most plays do, it ended with little resolve and the couple had lost any real love they might have had for each other.Â
Perhaps love was a foreign word in any boarding school. But here it was also painful, traumatic. We love you but you canât come home. We love you but youâd be in the way here. We love you but we will be spending Christmas with our real children.Â
Natalieâs eyes were already lowered when Lev honed in on her. Like him, she was a senior and was set to graduate with impressive honors in a few months. Of course, she had earned hers while his had been bought with threats, blackmail, and, when necessary, money. Lev had money - plenty of money. He considered it to be his own, though he wasnât sure anyone could really put a claim to money. Economics was all a grab-and-go game as far as he was concerned.Â
Ms. Callahan was already shuffling out of the classroom. The heavy scent of her lavender perfume, hailing from 1995, caught not only in his nose but also clawed at him under his eyelids. It wrapped itself around his throat as she moved past him. He coughed but said nothing while he held the door open for her to escape. What she didnât see she couldnât testify against. She didnât make eye contact with him. Why would she? She was a gambling addict, using cash from stolen credit cards. Lev took a fixed income from her every month, whether she won anything or not, in exchange for discretion. He had pictures; he had numbers; he had footage.
The room was silent with an air of mounting apprehension. As long as they stayed uncertain Lev controlled everything. He slowly walked to Natalie. He bent forward, placing his hands over the sides of the cool desktop. He pulled his face close to hers until he could see every line of her tiny, frail countenance. She smelled of powdered makeup and almond lotion. Very vivid and slow memories of kissing those lips - lips that were now pulled down into a frown - overcame him.
 Natalie looked up at him. Those eyes. He wanted to crush them. He wanted to maim and destroy this insignificant person who had awakened a new and disturbing weakness in him. She was common. She was nothing. Yet here he was: blood rushing to his cheeks and his heart pounding away like a timer ready to detonate a bomb. Lev felt that tick in his neck again. He had to look away from those eyes. He straightened up, twisting the cufflinks at his wrists. âDo you know why we are here, Natalie?â
She was silent. It was the same every single time with these timid types. Not a word. Lev was irrationally furious with her predictability.
He waited.
âI didnât finish the project.â Her voice was as tiny as she was.
Lev chuckled. He would have screamed if he didnât. âNatalie. You didnât even start the project. What is it you asked me to do, Natalie?â
âI know. You did.â She was crying now.Â
Lev wanted to eat her whole right there. His jaw clenched. Why were her tears cutting him? He had never seen her cry before. He shook his head, trying to focus, trying to hate her. âI got you into Harvard. You are going to Harvard for free.â His hand slammed into her desk where she sat, shaking. If Levâs fingers were stinging, he couldnât feel them. âIn return, you were meant to bring me files from your daddyâs office. Thatâs all, Natalie.âÂ
Levâs entire enterprise was dependent on information. He craved it like a vampire searching for blood. One of the countryâs top lawyers was stupid enough to have a daughter and Lev wasnât going to let her out of his claws until he had those files. He looked down at her as she trembled, despising her weakness, despising her outright. Lev grabbed Natalie by her uniformed lapels, pulling her out of her chair. It scraped across the floor then tipped over. The crash drowned out any gasps that might have come from any of the naiver students watching them. Natalieâs eyes were wide, and her lips were tight. Oddly enough she had instantly stopped crying.Â
She was infuriatingly light like an empty tin can. âThis is not how this ends. You donât just walk away,â Lev said, dropping her where she crumpled into the ground. The thud of her body colliding with the floor reverberated in his head. âConsider your acceptance revoked and keep an eye over your shoulder because I donât take being ignored lightly.â He moved to leave her, but her hand reached out and gripped around his ankle.
âWait,â she said. She was looking at him again. Her eyes were cold and defeated. It was worse than watching her cry. âGive me another chance. I can get them to you. Please. I have to go to Harvard.â
Lev kicked his foot out of her weak grip. Her parents had made her miserable long before he had. âTomorrow night then. And get a job because Iâm taking away that scholarship.â He turned away from her as quickly as possible and left the classroom.Â
Ms. Callahan moved to re-enter her room, but Lev grabbed her arm. The flesh pressed through his fingers like playdough. âChange your perfume,â he said between clenched teeth. She remained silent but submissive. He let her go. Usually, Lev waited outside of the classrooms after a shakedown. He liked to watch the faces of the students through the door windows. He liked to watch the teachers squirm, all frazzled, trying to ramble on as if nothing had happened. It made the students snicker. He liked to think it made them feel slightly more powerful, watching an authoritarian shiver. Everyone wanted to be in power and heaven knew Lev had enough power to loan about from time to time. This time, though, Lev just walked away.Â
When reading the synopsis of this book, I was immediately attracted to it's young adult thriller-esque description. Thrillers, especially psychological thrillers, are positioned amongst my favourite genres so I'm particularly judgemental if one doesn't meet my standard. This book however, requires no ill judgement. In the opening chapter, we are immediately introduced to Lev in the way he wishes to be percieved, as an unforgiving mob boss who can ruin lives with a click of a button. Throughout the book, we continue to meet Lev in this unforgiving state, noting several times his unwillingness to flatter and charm people into giving him the information he needs, but rather wishing to incite violence or at least hint at it. Mary, Lev's younger and illegitmate sister, who he helped get into his exclusive boarding school, simply doesn't wish to be involved in her older brother's schemes. She just wants answers for the things she can't explain, why did her mother keep her to simply raise her on the streets? Why didn't their father want anything to do with her? Why did her mother kill herself? But she can't stay disconnected for long when everyone knows who you are and your brother is blackmailing them.
I love a bad boy character, as many of us do, and I think Searle presents an amazing example of one with Lev. He's a hard case, that's undeniable, and despite what Mary thinks; he isn't all that unemotional. Displaying a heart multiple times often in private when it stings the readers emotions the most. Lev in this book seemed indestructable and showed continual resilience despite literally being hunted and almost murdered at every turn. At 17, if someone had even shouted at me I probably would've cried nevermind deal with blackmail and a plot to kill.
This story had me gasping at every turn, what simply seemed like a revenge plot against Lev for his blackmailing ways turned deeper and darker than I ever thought it would go. This is more than Lev's actions catching up with him, it is a story of family, chosen family, love and yet, loss. A lot of loss for all characters, especially Mary. My one critique of this book is the almost insta-love connection between Mary and Oliver, which while it didn't distract from the story and the suspense, it definitely seemed a little odd at points. But overall, this book is incredibly enjoyable and it is definitely catered to a YA audience.
Trigger Warnings: Extreme Violence, Suicide, Mental Health Issues