“Hey, Auri! What’s up!? You sound…flustered.” I wasn’t used to hearing my normally even tempered best friend so anxious.

“Flustered?! Oh no, I’m pretty fucking far from flustered!”

“What is it, girl! Are you okay?!”

“I’m across the street from that little dive bar here in Morristown, Goombas, and I’m staring at Roland…with his tongue crammed down some bimbo’s throat!” She practically screamed through the phone.

I became solemn and quiet,“You’re serious?”

“I’m serious, Mina. Here…”

In an instant, my text message alert chimed. I opened it up, and there was a pic of Roland, my fiance, my first true love in over 80 years, with his plump, pink yazzick lapping some sluts cocksucker.

“Auri?”

“Yeah!”

“Get out of there right now.” My voice went deadly calm.

“Wha-” Auri scarcely had time to react.

“Get. Out. Of. There. NOW!“ I screamed.

“Okay, okay! But Mina, don’t do anything rash -”

I hung up the phone and licked my drying lips. Motherfucker. Looks like honeybear is going to have to rain down some sulfur.

I flung open my front door and strolled out onto the sidewalk in nothing more than a sheer blouse and skirt. I breathed in the fragrant fall air, but it did little to quiet my wrath. Goombas was only about a mile away, and it was a beautiful night, so I decided to walk there. Maybe it would give me a chance to cool down a bit. Maybe not.

As I headed down the street, instead of cooling down, I heated up. My eyes began to smolder, and my body temperature rose dramatically. I rudely shouldered through a group of people hanging out and talking on the sidewalk. They began to shout and protest until they saw my burning eyes and felt the heat radiating off my body; then, they quickly backed away and took off like I was radioactive.

I left scorched footprints on the sidewalk with every bare step I took as the clothes I was wearing burned away from my body. The asphalt road next to me began to ripple and run like a black river as my hot, angry fury intensified. Cars driving past hit the asphalt pool and became stuck like dinosaurs in a tar pit, their wheels spinning before finally popping. The exterior paint on their cars began bubbling, the heat threatening to cook the people inside alive. Trees all around me suddenly burst into flame, while the buildings began to glow red hot. The windows started melting, and the bricks started exploding.

Pretty soon, the landscape behind me was a roaring fire about two thousand feet wide and growing. People were running and screaming from my epicenter as I strolled down the street like a violent act of nature. Buildings caught in my growing orbit began to wilt and run like warm butter. Cars were exploding and propelling embers into the sky that resembled a thousand devils’ eyes as they rained down. This was only a small atom of my power.

As I approached Goombas, I saw Roland and his whore a few hundred feet down the road, fleeing the flames. He caught sight of me for a moment, and a terrible realization washed over him. They both made a mad dash towards a large church down the road while I slowly followed.

They began to stumble and waver within the field of my intense, inescapable heat. Finally, they fell to their knees and crawled toward the church doors in vain. They were on the verge of passing out, but Roland had the audacity to look pleadingly at me with those lying eyes.

That tore it. I unleashed every ounce of my power and focused it directly on them! Without warning, a fireball the size of an extinction level asteroid suddenly shot straight towards them, leaving a mile wide molten trench in its wake!

The two of them, dumbstruck, gawked in amazement as the white-hot comet instantly incinerated them, along with the church and a three-mile radius of Morristown, New Jersey!

The finale was an explosion the size of a small nuclear warhead that pushed a yellow and orange mushroom cloud towards the sky like a massive tombstone!

I thought of a fitting epitaph, “Here lies Roland. Roland lies, so Roland dies.” I snickered and began to calm down a bit. I took a look around and marveled at the refreshing destruction. Hell hath no fury indeed. I continued to look around and noticed I was stark naked. “Damn, I need a Macy’s.”

I could hear all manner of sirens and helicopters converging on the area, so I ducked away swiftly into the swirling smoke and falling ash.