Clinical psychologist Kerry Makin-Byrd appeared successful and balanced. She treated trauma survivors at the University of California, San Francisco and published research at the National Center for PTSD and New York University. But as COVID-19 spread across the globe, Kerry joined approximately 5 million medical professionals experiencing work burnout.
This small lyrical book details first her unraveling, then her journey to a new peace. Makin-Byrd reports her disintegration with wrenching precision. Happily, her evolution receives the same care and scrutiny. Drawing from her expertise in posttraumatic growth, moral injury, and compassion practices, she deftly integrates the wisdom of poets, philosophers, and scientists into a healing roadmap for us all.
Ballad of Burnout is a personal memoir, a travel log to transformation, and a love letter to all helpers. Recommended reading for every teacher, medical professional, caregiver, and working parent exhausted by the last few years.
Clinical psychologist Kerry Makin-Byrd appeared successful and balanced. She treated trauma survivors at the University of California, San Francisco and published research at the National Center for PTSD and New York University. But as COVID-19 spread across the globe, Kerry joined approximately 5 million medical professionals experiencing work burnout.
This small lyrical book details first her unraveling, then her journey to a new peace. Makin-Byrd reports her disintegration with wrenching precision. Happily, her evolution receives the same care and scrutiny. Drawing from her expertise in posttraumatic growth, moral injury, and compassion practices, she deftly integrates the wisdom of poets, philosophers, and scientists into a healing roadmap for us all.
Ballad of Burnout is a personal memoir, a travel log to transformation, and a love letter to all helpers. Recommended reading for every teacher, medical professional, caregiver, and working parent exhausted by the last few years.
This writing began in rage
To scorch the career earth behind me
But unveiled it was a story of love
A letter to those who freed me
To the artists who lit the way
To the counterculture objectors
To my family forgiving my failure
And a love letter for my mentors
And finally to you dear helper
Full and out of love for this place
I offer a map, the terrain of my work burnout
Wishing you God speed and grace
SPOILER
I line my poisons along the path
Selflessness and stoicism offered as pitiful prayers
I believed caring was enough
I believed my ego was earned, fair
The school training begins long before this
We're prized for our heart and our grit
We are honed like flashy weapons
Denying self for the best fit
Were you taught to say no boldly
Or did you practice saying yes
I was taught to ignore hunger and sleep
Grew expert at ignoring the mess
The “mess” of my humanity
As I denied my body’s need
If only we tried harder
If only we absorbed more
The promise we could save lives
Could be all powerful for . . .
For the world so broken in suffering
So deserving of love and care
Our paid work becomes our identity
An exchange for belonging seemed fair
It’s easier to point fingers at the person
Pushing a helper to shame
But who is behind the curtain
Look at the Constructor shirking blame
Notice the premise is flawed
That service isn’t a profitable game
Humans aren’t actually machines
What if what is broken is the frame
I was playing for the jackpot
Worth, value, and service tied up with string
Even in a rigged system
I expected a sure win
I traded my work hours like gold tokens
Pulling the slots faster and more
Not asking at what cost?
Not asking who are the profits for?
We’re in a broken carnival
A maze in which we’re lost
Caring measured in metrics
Ignoring the aching heart’s cost
Note the Invisible Context
The illusory way it must be
The shock experimenter’s voice (Milgram, 1963)…
Denying a way to break free
“Please continue
Please go on.
The experiment requires that you continue.
It is absolutely essential that you continue.
You have no other choice; you must go on.”
Our mission is to love and serve
But our will is mined, fracked, and sold
By systems and contexts disinterested
In anything they cannot mold.
My worst news is yet to tell
Screaming for peace, like an angry mob:
No hero is coming to save us
Salvation’s simply an inside job
Ballard of Burnout by Kerry Makin-Byrd is both poetic in nature whilst also leaning towards prose. It details the narrator's personal experiences (presumably Makin-Byrd's) in a stressful work environment, causing symptoms many of us would recognise and identify as the mental health condition, burnout.
The book covers the events before, during and after with an optimistic look to the future of what life holds following the traumatic experiences detailed over twelve chapters/verses that run as one continuation. It is for this reason the use of the term "ballad" is used in the book's title, a monologue of one person's experiences. In this overarching ballad Makin-Byrd utilises a range of poetic devices, from traditional stanzas, to chunks of prose and ad-hoc use of centred text. On several occasions we also see bullet points of meaty text, possibly a humorous jab at working environments where bullet points are overly used to excess. This latter point could be my own reasoning though.
And this is where I struggle with Ballard of Burnout. Writing about such a challenging topic was never going to be easy, but here the writing style feels particularly detached, almost upsettingly so. I want so badly to resonate with the author's words, to see something within the text and pull at a strand of relatability. After all, stress in the workplace hardly an uncommon sight. But that moment, it just never seems to come. There is no insight into the type of workplace and very limited attempts at worldbuilding; the location, the employment sector, even a flavour of the personal relationships held by the narrator, these are elements that felt lacking. Coupled with the sporadic layouts of text, it makes the content feel a little flat and disjointed.
The writing quality on a micro, line-by-line basis, is good but by incorporating a broader view of the narrator's environment it can only make for a more colourful reading experience all ways round. Food for thought for the next publication Makin-Byrd puts her hand to.
AEB Reviews