Four teenagers on the run from an
opppressive government, boy chosen to be the next Child of Dead, and a girl with a
secret power that both destroys and heals. What could go
wrong?
16-year old Nulla has been discriminated against her
entire life for her colorism - a genetic illness that gave her bright, colorful features. While
her family once sheltered and isolated her for her own protection, this seclusion was not
enough to protect her from her own unusual power, a power that is both dangerous and
life-saving.
Nulla’s friend, Ani, is slated to become the next Child of
Dead, a role that is feared by many. Terrified of his fate, Ani decides to escape his home
country, bringing Nulla, her twin brother, and his best friend Zephr in tow. However, their
escape plans are quickly turned upside down when Nulla is kidnapped and sold to a
mad scientist performing human experiments on Colors and Ani is hunted down by
Dianne - a previous Child of Death wanting to punish Ani for escaping his fate. As Nulla
suffers at the hands of her cruel captor, can she learn to control her power in time to
save herself?
Four teenagers on the run from an
opppressive government, boy chosen to be the next Child of Dead, and a girl with a
secret power that both destroys and heals. What could go
wrong?
16-year old Nulla has been discriminated against her
entire life for her colorism - a genetic illness that gave her bright, colorful features. While
her family once sheltered and isolated her for her own protection, this seclusion was not
enough to protect her from her own unusual power, a power that is both dangerous and
life-saving.
Nulla’s friend, Ani, is slated to become the next Child of
Dead, a role that is feared by many. Terrified of his fate, Ani decides to escape his home
country, bringing Nulla, her twin brother, and his best friend Zephr in tow. However, their
escape plans are quickly turned upside down when Nulla is kidnapped and sold to a
mad scientist performing human experiments on Colors and Ani is hunted down by
Dianne - a previous Child of Death wanting to punish Ani for escaping his fate. As Nulla
suffers at the hands of her cruel captor, can she learn to control her power in time to
save herself?
The muscles in Ani’s legs strained as he ran through the field. They were about to give out—his knees were shaking, and his hamstrings trembled. It was only natural; a person wasn’t supposed to sprint long distances. He’d outrun Roger and his gang of bullies quite a while ago. Now, he was just running.
Currently, he wasn’t following the Red Road but rather running through a field to the middle of nowhere. He must be a few miles outside the town by now, though there was probably nothing out here. There were flowers under his feet. Flowers? Am I in a meadow?
Suddenly, Ani’s foot got caught under a rock, and he tumbled to the floor, landing hard in the dirt. Damn, that hurt. He thought. He lifted himself off of the ground to sit up, panting to catch his breath. His hands were crushing some flowers. Red geraniums—he recognized them from The Encyclopedia of Deitorian Flowers.
Though, these flowers were far too abundant and organized to be a meadow. Was this some sort of massive garden?
They’re pretty, though. They were a bright and enticing red. Perhaps he should take some home to paint.
“A person…” It was a soft voice overhead, one like that of a songbird.
Ani stilled and looked up at the person standing before him. Beautiful silver hair and golden eyes. The wind ran through her locks, the sun shining spectacularly through her curls. It was so picturesque, it might as well have been a scene out of a painting.
A Color. Ani’s eyes widened. I’ve never seen one in person before. Maybe if there had been a Color in Forestra, he wouldn’t have been bullied so much. Nah, I'm worse than a Color.
Colors were heavily discriminated against by the townsfolk. People insisted they were a mistake of God, despite The Order constantly telling them that God doesn’t make mistakes. No one knew exactly what caused the phenomena of Colors, but it was theorized to be a hereditary trait that ran in families. Supposedly, it manifested differently in everyone, being characterized by a person having features of bright and unnatural colors.
Besides the fact that she was a Color, she was gorgeous. Her skin was pale gold, and her hair fell in light curls, indicating that she wasn’t fully Deitorian. Her hair looked soft and voluminous, and its length reached her waist. How she managed to keep her hair curly and manageable was a mystery to Ani.
“A person!” She exclaimed, louder, her curls bouncing in the light breeze. Her eyes were a bright gold that seemed to glow from within, and her hair was white like snow. She had high cheekbones and an almost ideal facial structure. As for her body, well, Ani tried not to look too long, but it was definitely hourglass, different from the more slim girls in town. He estimated that she was around fifteen, just like him.
Ani quickly made sure that the bandages covering his arm were in place. No need to give strangers the need to hate him. “Hello.”
“I-I shouldn’t…” She looked back quickly, then turned to him. “Hello,” she finally answered.
“What are you doing so far out of town?” Ani asked.
“I live here. Well, not right here. A little while up that way.” She pointed behind her to a small brick house. “I come to this garden every day to tend to the flowers.” She had a basket full of flowers hanging on the crook of her arm. “I haven’t spoken to a person in years, not besides my caretaker and brother.”
Ani looked at her in disbelief but found that she wasn’t lying. He was excellent at telling the truth from lies. “Well, welcome back to humanity. I’m Ani.”
“My name is Nulla. You look exhausted. Would you like to come with me to my house for some water?” Nulla asked.
Nulla seemed nice enough. Actually, too nice. She was already inviting him to her house. Normally he would refuse such an offer, thinking it was rude to go alone to a girl’s house, but he was really thirsty. “That sounds nice.” He said, clambering to his feet.
“Would you mind not stepping on the flowers? You’re crushing them.”
“Oh, sorry.” Ani stepped off of the flower bed and onto the dirt path next to it. He looked around. The patch of geraniums was about a yard wide, separated from other flowers with a line of rocks. That’s the rock I tripped on. There were other types of flowers in the area. Daffodils and tulips, crocus and hyacinth, irises and forsythia.“Is this your garden?”
“No, it’s not mine. Mr. Cecile says that it used to belong to one of his friends, but she’s no longer with us. Now we take care of it in her memory.”
“I see. You’ve done a good job of it.”
Ani followed Nulla to her house, which wasn’t a far walk. It was a small brick house, guarded on one side by the lush forest behind it. It was the only man-made structure for at least a mile, being constructed in an isolated area. The make of the house was visibly contrasted by the clothing she wore, which was higher end. She even had an embroidered bird on the breast of her bodice. She can afford such a dress but lives in such a simple house?
They arrived at the door. Nulla opened it and let herself in. “Lysander, I’m home.”
A young boy sat hunched over a book. He had dark brown hair and light olive skin, slightly darker than Nulla’s. His build was fairly scrawny. Despite being a little taller, he seemed skinnier than Nulla. His face was no less beautiful than his sister’s, with good proportions and long eyelashes. He was quite effeminate, and if he wore women’s clothing, Ani was sure people would think he was a normal, beautiful girl. It was upon seeing her brother that Ani realized their heritage. They’re Ramali. Probably half Ramali and half Deaitorian.
The boy’s brown eyes were turned downwards as he finished the page of the book he was reading. When he finally looked up, he jolted from his chair. “Who the hell is this?!” He yelled in surprise.
Nulla let Ani step inside and closed the door. “We met in the gardens. He’s been running for a while, so I offered him some water.” She walked over to a barrel and turned the knob on a spout to release water into a cup.
The boy, apparently named Lysander, approached Ani. He was a good head shorter than Ani and about as intimidating as a bird. Lysander looked him up and down, sizing him up. “Your trousers are covered in grass stains, and your clothes are soaked through. You smell atrocious.”
“It’s called sweat. A person produces it when they exercise. Though, with your build, I suppose you wouldn’t know much about it.” Ani replied, smirking.
Lysander’s face reddened at the remark. “I don’t like this boy.” He said to his sister.
Nulla walked over and handed Ani the cup. “Get along, you two. Ani seems like a perfectly nice boy. I’ve never met another person my age besides my immediate family, so he can be my first friend!” She hugged Ani’s arm.
Ani blushed. It was a level of affection he wasn’t used to. I don’t think this girl understands personal boundaries. Ani thought. It was understandable, if this was one of her first interactions with someone who wasn’t family. Ani didn’t know how he felt about the contact. He’d only known affectionate touches from the sex workers in town, and even though he had a generally amicable relationship with the sex workers, he could still tell it was all an act. Most people feared him and stayed far away.
“Get off of him.” Lysander stepped in between them and forcibly separated them. “He’s covered in dirt and sweat; you’ll get dirty. Nulla, you know you’re not supposed to be around people. Do you remember what Mr. Cecile said?”
“That Colors are heavily discriminated against, I know, but Ani doesn’t seem to mind that I’m a Color,” Nulla said.
“Why is that, anyway?” Lysander crossed his arms.
Because I know what it’s like to be heavily discriminated against. “I don’t know. I guess I just never saw the sense in hating them.”
“See, Lys? He’s a nice boy. Now I want you two to formally introduce yourselves,” Nulla said.
“I’m Ani. I consider myself a professional at pissing people off. Now, why don’t we put aside our differences and consummate our friendship with a hearty handshake?” Ani spat in his hand and held it out.
Lysander looked at him, his face scrunching. “I’m not touching that.” He sighed. “I’m Lysander, Nulla’s twin brother. And if you hurt my sister, I’ll kill you.”
“Well...that wasn’t ideal, but it’ll do,” Nulla said. “Ani, would you like something to eat?”
“Nulla, don’t cook for him,” Lysander said with a huff.
“Thanks for the offer, but I have supper with my friend Zephyr every day. He’s a great cook. I should save my appetite for him.” Ani looked out a window. “I should get back before it gets dark.”
“Oh, but your legs must be tired! Please sit and have a rest.” Nulla said, her face falling slightly.
The forest was nearby, and in the forest were wolves. One wouldn’t want to be caught dead wandering in the dark near them. Not to mention Ani hadn’t brought a lantern. Who knows how long it would take him to walk back? Time only faintly flew past him as he ran. “I have to leave.”
Ani weighed his options. Would it really be a good idea to come back? These people seemed nice enough, and it was refreshing being around people who didn’t hate him—people who didn’t know his secret. “Could I come back tomorrow? I’m an artist, and I enjoy painting flowers. I really like your garden. Not many flowers grow in town, only a few species of wildflowers I find along the road.” He remembered hearing that, at some point in the past, there had been a flower shop in Forestra. It had shut down after the owner's daughter was executed for murder.
“Yes! Of course you can come back!” Nulla said. “There are many species of flowers here. I could show you all of them if you’d like.”
“What?! He can’t come back!” Lysander interjected.
“Yes, he can, and he’ll be my first friend.” Nulla had her hands on her hips as she spoke. She let go of her stern expression. “Please, Lys?” She pleaded.
“Yeah, please, Lys?” Ani mocked.
“Don’t ever call me Lys,” Lysander said to Ani. He turned to her sister with a softened expression. “Nulla, this is terribly stupid. You shouldn’t be mingling with the folks from this town. Mr. Cecile has told us stories about the way they treat Colors. Remember when we were kids?”
“That was one person. Ani is nothing like him. I’ll be fine.”
Lysander sighed. He stepped up to Ani. “Like I said, If you ever hurt my sister, I’ll kill you.”
“Wow, so intimidating,” Ani said, rolling his eyes. “Seriously though, I’ve got no interest in hurting your sister. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”
Lysander but his lip and groaned. “Fine. Just stay in the gardens. No wandering off into town.”
Nulla jumped up and down and squealed with excitement. “Yay! Thank you, Lys!”
“Yeah, thank you, Lys.” Ani grinned.
Lysander groaned. He seemed to be already regretting his decision. Lysander didn’t seem to like Ani, but Ani liked Lysander. He was an amusing kid. It was fun to pick on him. He liked troublesome people. It added to the comedic effect.
After brief farewells, Ani left and began his walk home. When he got home, he found his personal servant. “Missina, water for a bath. Add chamomile and mallow. My legs are sore from running.” Missina, a girl with short brown hair, and a few other servants brought boiled water and poured it into the large bathing basin. The basin was wooden, and sponge lined the bottom to make it soft. He stepped in once it was full. Ani used to be bathed by his servants as a child, but now he sponged himself down on his own. He was nearly a man; he was already fifteen. The alone time a bath brought was also appreciated. He enjoyed solitude and liked having time to reflect on the day.
Today he had much to reflect on. He met a strange girl in a beautiful garden and her twin brother. Does she really want to be my friend? He always considered himself to be repulsive. It’s not like he wasn’t aware that he was a jerk. He knew that he was rude and jaded and callous, and he didn’t exactly like it either. That’s just who he’d become over the years. She saw a little of what he was like but didn’t seem to think ill of him. It won’t last. Another voice told him that his relationship with Zephyr had lasted, and he wasn’t entirely unlikeable.
He had his servants come back to rinse his hair with rose water. After that, he dried off and dressed in clean clothing. It was evening, and the sun was lowering west in the sky. Ani walked through the corridors of his home. He passed the woman he called ‘Mother’ on his way out. They didn’t speak to one another. They never did. Both residents of this house liked to pretend that the other didn’t exist. He still remembered the first time he tried to talk to her. He was a boy of around nine years who’d just finished a painting he was working on. At that time in his life, he’d only ever watched his mother from a distance. She was a beautiful woman, with long blonde hair and blue eyes, and he wanted to know more about her. All his servants praised his painting, and he wanted to show his mother so that she’d be proud as well. He approached her in the large armchair she sat in every day, where she passed the time reading or perhaps knitting.
“Mother, look what I made!” Ani held up his painting for her to see. He had a wide smile painted on his face. His mother didn’t reply, and Ani didn’t realize until he was a teenager that she was ignoring him. Ani put his hand on her arm to get her attention. “Mother, look!” His mother wrenched her arm free and backhanded him so hard he fell to the floor.
“Don’t touch me!” She screamed. “If only you hadn’t been chosen, I could’ve smothered you with a pillow when you were born!”
Ani still remembered that day vividly. It was the only real contact he’d ever had with his mother. After that, he stayed far away from her. He was ashamed, as he knew he should be. A child born of rape had no place in a household. He heard that his mother had never been the same after she was attacked. She’d had no one to comfort her, as her own mother had died of an illness a month later. He was told that his mother tried several times to kill him in the womb, but since he’d been chosen by The Order, she’d been forced to carry him to term. She could never bring herself to love the son she was forced to bear. And likewise, Ani could never bring himself to love the woman who barely existed in his life.
Though the house they lived in belonged to him, as given to him by The Order, he never kicked his mother out. He knew his mother didn’t have money, as she never touched the golden cantus that The Order gave her as recompense, instead giving it to him when he was old enough. It was perhaps his one act of kindness toward his mother, to at least ensure she had shelter from the outside world. In this solid stone house, she was unlikely to be attacked again.
Though he didn’t exactly love his mother, he didn’t wish ill on her either. If anything, he felt guilty for what his father had done to her, and for what suffering his birth brought her. Honestly, he hoped that one day she’d recover from her pain, as it seemed like she’d never fully healed from her traumas.
Ani went to have dinner with Zephyr, his best friend, as he did every day. Zephyr was an aspiring chef and made the best food Ani had ever tasted. He worked at his family’s restaurant as an assistant chef and a server. Ani gave Zephyr five gold cantus every week, and Zephyr used it to buy spices and ingredients in town. He was happy to fund Zephyr’s cooking endeavors and whatever else he needed. He felt that Zephyr needed something in his life that brought him joy. Ani certainly did not lack for money. The Order gave him a monthly stipend of one hundred cantus a month, probably the only perk of being a Child of Death.
The next day he went back to the garden. He only had around three more years to live freely, so he figured this might be a good way to kill time. He and Nulla met at the geraniums, as they had the day before.
“You came back!” Nulla said excitedly.
“I said I would,” Ani replied.
Nulla saw the bag Ani had slung over his shoulder. “What’s that?” She asked.
“It’s my art supplies,” Ani said. “Here, I’ll show you.” He knelt down on the ground and opened his bag. “This is a pad of paper. I use it to draw and paint on. It’s made from very durable paper that can handle paints and inks. This is my cartridge pen. It’s a new invention from overseas. It’s a pen that holds the ink inside of it. It makes very even, thin lines. I use it to sketch. This is all I’ll need for today. I left my paints at home. Now I just need to decide what to draw.”
“What about this?” Nulla lifted up her basket filled with picked flowers. “You could draw this.”
Ani considered it. It stood on its own and was comprised of multiple shapes and sizes, making it a good reference. “Good idea. Put it right over there.” He pointed right in front of him. Nulla complied and put down the basket. Ani sat down and propped his paper up on his lap. He began sketching the largest shapes, intending to add details later. He could feel Nulla’s eyes on his paper, and it made him somewhat uncomfortable. “Can you stop watching me like that?”
“Oh, okay. I’ll turn around.” Nulla turned to face the other direction.
“You’re just going to sit there and do nothing?” Ani asked.
“Yes.”
Well, isn’t she quite stubborn. Ani sighed. “Fine, you can watch. But don’t bother me.”
Nulla turned back with a smile on her face. “No bothering, got it.”
It wasn’t until he was a few minutes into the sketch, laying out the rough outlines, that he realized that Nulla was turning blue. “I-I said no bothering me, but you can still breathe!”
Nulla took a deep breath, sighing out dramatically. “I’m glad. I don’t know if I can hold my breath for that long.”
“If you could, you wouldn’t be human!”
“If I wouldn’t be human, what would I be?”
“Er, well, maybe some kind of plant?”
“I was thinking about a whale. Whales can hold their breath for hours!”
“Yeah, I do remember learning something like that in class.” Though, any time he was actually in class, he was only giving about half of his attention.
“If you could be an animal, what animal would you want to be?” Nulla asked.
“Me? Hmm…maybe a fox. They’re smart but also very efficient hunters.” Ani said.
“I’d want to be a dragon!” Nulla exclaimed.
“A dragon?!” Ani raised his brow. “Dragons aren’t animals. They’re mythological creatures.”
“But they used to exist a long time ago,” Nulla said. “They recently found bones in the country of Nirva that people have been saying belong to dragons. I read it in a book.”
“Really? In a book and not a novel?”
“Yeah. I’d show you, but you probably wouldn’t be able to read it. It’s in another language.” Nulla said.
“If it’s in another language, how did you read it?”
“I learned the language,” Nulla said, as if this was a perfectly normal thing to say.
“You learned it?! A whole new language?!”
“Yeah. I can’t tell if my pronunciation is any good since I have no one to speak to, but I can read and write in it fluently.” Nulla said.
Hold on, could it actually be that this girl is really smart? “How many languages do you speak?” Ani asked.
“Only three,” Nulla said. “Deia, Nirvani, and Ramali.”
“Three?!” Ani’s jaw dropped. “You’re only fifteen, though, right?!”
“Yeah. Cecile says I learned Ramali even faster than him!” Nulla smiled brightly.
“Then, is it something you learned as a child and now speak at home?” Ani asked. He knew that there were people who grew up speaking multiple languages at home. Zephyr was one of them, and he often spoke Mentalli with his mother and Deia with everyone else.
“No. I’ve only been learning Ramali since I was ten and Nirvani since twelve,” Nulla said.
“Why on earth did you decide to learn new languages that young?!”
“I was bored,” Nulla said.
Nulla seemed to think that this was a perfectly reasonable explanation, but it cleared up nothing for Ani. He couldn’t think of anything more boring than sitting down to learn something other than art. He realized then that he’d been neglecting his drawing and went back to focusing on it.
“Is drawing fun?” Nulla asked.
“For me, it is,” Ani said. “Some people like it and some people don’t.” He thought it would be annoying to have someone talking to him while he drew, but it was actually kind of nice. It helped that her voice was soothing and pretty, too.
“But you don’t like people watching you do it?” Nulla asked.
“Well, it’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just that people sometimes ask weird questions or point out flaws before you’ve even finished. It’s just a bit embarrassing to have people watching you create something, too, especially in the rough stages.”
“Creation tends to be an embarrassing process, especially when you’re insecure about it or when people are critical. I remember when I was young, I showed a poem I wrote to Lysander and Cecile. Cecile complimented it, but Lysander criticized my writing, saying that I sacrificed readability for the sake of pretty words. We ended up in a huge argument about it. I said some really mean things, like if he was too stupid to understand higher-level vocabulary, he shouldn’t give his opinion on writing.” Nulla laughed.
“Who won the argument?” Ani asked.
“I did at the time. Or, it’s perhaps better to say that Lysander stepped down before things got too messy. He wasn’t totally wrong, though. I did have a tendency for purple prose back then. There’s a happy medium between pretty writing and readability.” Nulla said. “But don’t tell him I said he was partially right. He’d get smug if he knew.” She whispered that last part.
It seemed that she was mature enough to admit her flaws but also too stubborn to admit them to the person she’d disagreed with. “Are fights like that normal for you two?”
“Yeah. We fight all the time.” Nulla said.
“Really? I wouldn’t have guessed, considering how protective he is.”
“No way. We fight just like anyone else. Cecile said it’s normal for siblings to fight. He told us once that the closer you are to a person, the more you’ll fight.”
“I remember hearing that too in school at some point,” Ani said.
“Can you tell me what school is like?” Nulla asked.
“School? Hmm…boring and annoying.” Ani said.
“Really? But don’t they teach you fun things? I’ve always wanted to go to school.” Nulla said.
“Well, they do teach you some useful things, but the brunt of it is boring stuff like history and religion classes,” Ani said. “The only class I ever paid attention to was art.”
Nulla sighed, her face drooping in disappointment. “What about friends? Do you have friends?”
“I have one. His name is Zephyr, and he’s a great cook.” Ani said.
“Is he nice?”
“He’s probably the nicest person I know.”
“Then, do you have parents, too?” Nulla asked.
This was a question that caught him off guard. His familial situation was something he rarely discussed since it made him uncomfortable. “Yeah, I have parents.”
“I don’t have parents. Lysander and I were raised by our caretaker, Cecile. He said he has no idea who our biological parents are.” Nulla said, her smile not falling despite her words.
Ani didn’t know how she could talk about her lack of parents so nonchalantly. “Cecile isn’t biologically related to you?”
“Nope. He said that he had a daughter a long time ago but that she’s gone now.” Nulla said.
By “gone” Ani figured that meant she was dead. “So, were you and your brother adopted?”
“No. Cecile found us,” Nulla said.
“Found?” Ani raised a brow.
“He found us in the snow one winter night in this very garden. He said that he’d reached the lowest point of his life, and he took daily walks in the garden to calm down. One day, he found two newborn babies crying in the snow. Apparently, taking care of us helped him find new meaning in his life, and we pulled him out of a dark place.” Nulla said.
It was a story that was hard to believe. Just finding two newborn infants in the snow? But the way she said it made him feel like it was true, at least to her. It wasn’t exactly uncommon for babies who were born Colors to be abandoned, but Ani wondered why Lysander was left behind as well since he was normal. “He’s very generous for taking care of two random babies. I wouldn’t be able to do that.”
“We’re really lucky that he found us. I doubt two infants would have been able to stay alive in freezing temperatures for long.” Nulla said. “Sorry, I promised that I wouldn’t bother you, but I ended up bothering you a lot.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Ani said, resuming his sketching.
Nulla watched him sketch with interest and seemed to be refraining from talking too much in order to let him focus. They stayed like that until Ani was finished with his drawing. “Well, I better get going. I’ll come back tomorrow. This garden really inspires me.”
“Promise?” Nulla asked.
“I promise. It’s calming here. The atmosphere is much better than the one in town.”
“Do you not like living in town?”
“Well, let’s just say I’m not very well-liked in that town. I only really have one friend. There’s also Adalard, who oversees my training, but I only get to see him a few times a week.”
“Wow. If I lived in a town, I’d want to be friends with everyone.”
“I think there was a time when I thought similarly, but I gave up on that a long time ago. Sometimes, even if you want to be their friend, they don’t want to be your friend.” Of course, there were other reasons, but that just about summarized his childhood.
Soon after that, Ani went back to Forestra. He stopped by the library on his way home. He was surprised to find that there were numerous medical articles trying to prove that Colors were just like normal people. He checked the author's name and found that it was written by a man named Cecile. He recognized that name as Nulla’s caretaker and decided to ask the old librarian about it. The librarian was a small man who’d outlived almost everyone in town. He was about eighty by now, but no one knew his actual age—even he’d forgotten it somewhere along the way. “What do you know about the author of these medical texts, Cecile.”
“Cecile? That’s a name I haven’t heard in a few years. Is he back in town?” The librarian asked.
“No. I’m just curious about his rather progressive opinions.”
“Oh yes. He was always a fan of those Colors. It was all because of that girl. Everyone could tell he was in love with her, except maybe her. It’s better that way; we don’t need any more Colors bred into existence, no sir, they’d just bring bad luck to all of us.” The librarian said, his wrinkled face crinkling in contempt.
Ani chose not to comment on that. “How often does this Cecile come back?”
“Every few years. He comes back to buy a whole bunch of food and then leaves back to the bigger cities. Guess he likes visiting home once in a while. Though, he came from a bigger city as a child, if I’m remembering correctly. Maybe he needs to come back to her home or her grave.” The librarian organized books behind the wooden counter as he spoke.
“I see.” If Cecile had been in love with a Color at some point, it would make sense why he didn’t just leave Nulla for the wolves when she was born. Nulla had no mother or father, but she had Cecile and seemed to care about him a lot. Parents who aren’t biologically related to you…I suppose that’s what they mean by ‘found family.’ Ani didn’t grow up with a father around and hardly a mother either. He had Adalard, who served as a father figure and mentor to him. Before Adalard came into his life, Ani was quite the troublemaking child since the servants were too afraid to discipline him. Adalard ended up setting him straight.
Ani took an exhale of air into his lungs. I guess that makes Adalard my found family. I wonder if Zephyr counts too. Though Ani and Zephyr had only known each other for three years, they were close enough to be siblings. They ended up connecting with each other as outcasts.
If he became friends with Nulla, maybe she’d become a part of his found family as well. That’s assuming she doesn’t get tired of me before then.
Spring changed to summer, and Ani kept coming every day to the field. They sat in front of the house, just up the hill from the massive garden. Cecile had bought them chairs to sit in and chat. He finally felt the need to ask a question that had been on his mind.
“How can you afford such nice dresses?” He asked. “You even have embroidered flowers on the bodice. You have such nice clothing but live in such a simple house. You also speak with no accent, like someone from the inner cities.”
“I don’t know how much my dresses cost. Cecile buys the fabric and brings it back. I make the dresses myself.” She replied.
“You make those dresses?! Even the embroidery?” Ani asked.
“Yes,” Nulla said. “Cecile taught me how to sew at a young age. He used to make all my clothing, but I started making it myself when I got old enough. He bought me some embroidery books, and I started decorating my dresses.”
“It looks professional. You’re really good.” Ani said.
“Thank you. I tend to have a lot of free time, and I fill it by reading and sewing.” Nulla smiled. “As for the accent, I only really speak to Lysander and Cecile. From what I understand, Cecile was originally from Soleil but moved here when he was young.”
“Why would he come all the way from Soleil to a small town like Forestra?”
“I don’t know. He never told us.” Nulla said. “I actually didn’t know that people from the outer cities have different accents. The way you speak is a lot rougher than me and Lysander. I find it interesting.”
“Interesting? What’s interesting about my accent?” Ani asked.
“I don’t know. It’s interesting how geography affects the spoken language. Not only geography but upbringing as well.”
Ani at first thought it was weird that she’d find something inane so interesting, but he realized that it probably wasn’t something normal for her to hear other accents. She only really knew her brother and Cecile.
Summer turned to autumn, and Ani could feel crisp air enter his lungs. He finally felt it was time to show her the paintings he’d made at home.
“This one is a vase full of flowers I picked from your garden. It’s oil paint on canvas.” Ani said.
“It’s beautiful! I’ve never seen anything like it! I see some illustrations in books, but I’ve never seen a real painting before!” Nulla said.
Ani set the painting down and grabbed the next one. “This one is of a candle. I usually just draw flowers, but...I don’t know; something made me want to paint the flames.”
“Isn’t fire dangerous? I’ve burned my hands numerous times while cooking, and it really hurts.”
“I like fire. Of course it’s dangerous, but I also find it beautiful.” Ani caressed the painted flame with the pad of his thumb. “I’ve always thought it was pretty. The way the colors flicker and dance, I just like it.” He hoped he didn’t sound like an arsonist for saying that. He just appreciated its beauty as an artist.
Nulla listened intently. “What other paintings have you done?”
“Here, I’ll show you.” He opened his bag to pull out another. “They’re mostly flowers. Sometimes I sit outside and draw the buildings I see. I also have some paintings I did in colored ink.” He showed her the paintings.
“You really like painting flowers,” Nulla commented.
“I like painting pretty things. Though, truthfully I’d like to paint people. I just don’t have anyone to model for me. I have a couple I’ve painted without models.” He showed her the ink paintings. They all depicted the same young woman with flowing brown hair.
“Who is she? A friend of yours?”
“No. Just some girl I painted on a whim. They’re not that great. It’s hard as hell drawing without a reference. I wish I had a real model.”
“I could model for you,” Nulla said.
Ani paused to look at her. “You’d do that?”
“Of course.”
“You know you’d need to sit or stand in one position for long periods of time; it’d be uncomfortable,” Ani said.
“That’s all right. I sit still and quiet when I watch you draw. It can’t be much different from that. I was born with a weak body, so I might need breaks if I’m standing for a long time, but that’s all.” Nulla had mentioned to him early on that she possessed a weaker body than that of a normal girl. She wasn’t able to do many menial tasks, even things such as chopping vegetables, and she was rather weak physically.
Ani considered it for a moment. He’d finally have the chance to work with a human model. “Okay, I’d really appreciate that. We can try it tomorrow.”
The next day he came back with his inks and paper. “You can sit on that large rock over there.” They brought out a chair from Nulla’s house for Ani to sit on. They spent the next few hours sitting still, Nulla modeling and Ani sketching. “This is really fun. Thanks for doing this. Do you want to see what I drew?” Ani gave a rare, sincere smile—reserved only for those he cared about.
“Yes, of course! I’ve never had a portrait of me done before.” She eagerly went to Ani’s side to see the picture. “It’s wonderful.”
“It’s riddled with mistakes. I’m still a beginner.”
“Even so, I think it’s wonderful. Can I keep it?”
“That’s a good idea. No one can know about your existence anyway. Taking drawings of you back to Forestra would be a bad idea.” Ani said, suddenly sounding a bit more grim. There would be a lot of problems if people found out about Nulla and Lysander. First of all, Nulla was a Color, so she might become a target for harassment. But the real threat was The Order. From what Ani understood, Nulla and Lysander were undocumented children. They had no social numbers, and their names were only that—names. As far as The Order was concerned, they didn’t exist.
That’s why it would pose massive problems for them to be found. The Order doesn’t take kindly to being disobeyed in such a way. Ani didn’t know exactly what punishment they’d inflict, but it wouldn’t be pretty. He was already prepared to use his authority as a Child of Death to protect them, if it came to that.
The chill of winter came, and Ani and Nulla had to stay inside near the fire to stay warm.
“Tell me about the outside world,” Nulla said, sitting at the table playing cards with Ani and Lysander (who’d reluctantly agreed to play with them, despite his dislike of Ani).
“What do you want to know about it?” Ani asked.
“I want to know what it’s like. In the stories, I read about the prince who slays the beast to save his soulmate, about the woman who dresses as a knight to save the land, and mermaids that fall in love with humans.”
“Jeez, where do I start? Firstly, mermaids and beasts don’t exist.” Ani said.
“Then who do humans go to war with?” Nulla asked. “Lysander has books about the makes and models of prototyped weapons that Cecile brought home. What are swords made for if not to slay beasts?”
Ani didn’t know if he wanted to answer. Nulla wasn’t dim, but she was innocent, almost to a fault. All she knew of humanity was from the storybooks her caretaker brought for them. Ani resented innocence, but a part of him didn’t want to crush Nulla’s. He knew it’d hurt her if he told her the truth, and he hated the idea of putting her in pain. But he also hated ignorance and censorship; he got enough of that from The Order. He made his decision. “Monsters do exist, but in human flesh.”
“Ani, that’s enough,” Lysander said.
“Monsters can take on the form of humans?” Nulla asked.
“Humans can take on the form of monsters,” Ani answered.
“Ani!” Lysander slammed his cards on the table. He stood up. “Come with me outside for a moment.” Lysander grabbed Ani’s hand and pulled him with force.
“Hey, I’m coming, I’m coming, just let go.” Ani yanked his hand away and followed Lysander out the door.
They stepped out and closed the door. Ani tensed from the cold chill of the air. “Why do you keep her so innocent? Aren’t these things important to know?” Ani asked.
“She’s never going to live in human society anyway, there’s no reason to tell her these things. There’s nothing wrong with letting her believe humans are all good.”
“Do you at least give her any history books?”
“All you can legally buy in Deitoria is the religious texts The Order produces. I don’t want to expose her to that rubbish either.”
“You're not a follower of The Order too?”
“Do you want to know how many torture victims me and Mr. Cecile have treated just so they can survive and live to be tortured more? Way too many.” Lysander scoffed. “Torn off fingernails, slashes, blunt force trauma, castration, chopped off fingers, flaying, burning—it’s ridiculous. The worst part is that torture by The Order is widely considered okay in Deitoria. I’m not exposing her to that type of culture. We bought her some texts on feudal society in Embassia off the black market, but that’s about it for history books. It’s better that she sticks to storybooks anyway. Those are easier to get and don’t generally involve violence aside from slaying dragons and wizards.”
“I just don’t think it’s right to keep her ignorant like that. You treat her like a child. She’s old enough to handle the tough truths.”
“It’s not necessary to tell her.”
“You act like you raise her—for god’s sakes are you even the older twin?!”
“Who knows,” Lysander replied with a shrug of indifference. “Ani, do you ever wonder how she can be happy like this? Trapped in this house her whole life? It’s because she can dream. Her fantasies of the outside world give her happiness. Telling her the truth of this world would only crush those dreams. I don’t want to crush what little happiness she can have just for the sake of truth.”
“The truth is important.”
“The truth isn’t real. Haven’t you realized yet that nothing you’re told has to be real? As long as one says something with a great deal of confidence, it’ll be considered true. I’m quite sure that nothing The Order tells us is completely true. But we’re not given any evidence to suggest otherwise, other than our internal sense of logic. The truth is subjective. Aren’t there any truths you’ve questioned in the past?”
What Lysander said had merit. Ani had often been suspicious of the history The Order taught them. “The Order supposedly has chambers full of gold, but the church's walls in Forestra are brick. I always thought that if they were so rich, they could afford stone even for the smaller cities.”
“Exactly. The truth hardly matters in this world.” He kicked off the snow that had collected on his shoes and leaned back onto the brick wall of the house.
“Hold on, quit changing the subject, you manipulative bastard! You’re always like this—I’m not that stupid, you know?! We were talking about Nulla.”
“The truths I choose to give to her are the ones in the storybooks.”
“I just think it’s wrong to control such an important thing.”
“Too bad you don’t get to decide.”
Ani growled in frustration. As he reached for the doorknob, he spoke. “Fine, but it’ll bite you in the ass someday. The longer you leave it like this, the harder it’ll be when the truth gets out.” Ani gripped the doorknob.
“I know what you are,” Lysander said.
Ani paused with his hand still wrapped around the knob.
“You say that monsters live in human form, and you’d be right. You’re one of them, Child of Death.” Lysander narrowed his eyes. “Those bandages don’t hide burn scars like you told Nulla so many months ago. You should have sixteen out of eighteen of the tattoos by now. You must’ve only gotten your last one a few months ago; I bet it still hurts.” Lysander said coldly.
“How did you—?”
“I did some snooping in town. Nulla’s the only one forbidden from being in society.” Lysander scoffed. “You know, Nulla hates liars. I wonder what she’ll think when she finds out you’re Death in human guise. I bet she’ll be repulsed.”
“Shut up.”
“After all, you didn’t even have the guts to tell her upfront that you’re a monster in human flesh. Instead, you weaved a web of lies that came unraveled with just a few interviews in town with different citizens. What, are you ashamed of it or something? Everyone in town knows, so why do you still wear those bandages?”
“Shut up!” Ani yelled. “You...all of you have the nerve to call me a monster. You’re wrong. I’m just as human as anyone else. The real monsters are the majority of citizens who will just blindly hate someone for no good reason, just because they’re different.” Ani turned to look Lysander in the eye. “You’re no different from the people who discriminate against Colors for looking a certain way. So get out of here with that bullshit! I’m just as human as you or Nulla. Out of the two of us, I’m certainly not the monster.” Ani walked through the door, leaving Lysander in the cold to further contemplate.
Ani tried his best to calm down as he came back to the table. He swept up the cards and collected them back into a stack.
“Hey! We were in the middle of a game!” Nulla pouted.
“Well, we’re starting a new game. Plus, you probably looked at our cards while we were gone, and that’s why you’re so disappointed we’re not finishing the game.”
“I did not. I’m not a cheater.”
“I’m not blaming you for it. Cheaters win. I’d do the same if I were left unsupervised with my opponents’ cards.” He doled out the cards on the table. “Let’s start a new game.”
Ani went home soon after that. He washed himself down at home, put on a fresh pair of clothes, and set off to Zephyr’s house. He entered the restaurant area, an extension of the house, and sat at the bar. The restaurant was about half full. There was a bar area to the left and a table for families to the right.
Zephyr lived in this house with his mother. He made dinner for himself and Ani daily with the supplies he bought with Ani’s money. Ani sincerely hoped his friend would live out his dream of traveling to Mentallo and becoming a culinary master. He was grateful for the food and friendship they shared. They’d become confidantes over the years, and Ani felt he could share anything with Zephyr. He even told Zephyr that he hoped to escape this country someday and was saving up for the possibility.
Ani rang the bell that signaled a new customer, and Zephyr came from the kitchen. “Ani! You’re late. I was wondering if you were still coming. Luckily for you, the food is still hot.” He walked back into the kitchen and brought out two dishes. He set one plate down in front of Ani. “Don’t eat it yet. I need to get us some milk.” He walked back into the kitchen and brought out two mugs and a pitcher. He set them on the bar and sat next to Ani.
“What’d you make for us today?” Ani said, prodding the dish with his fork. It was obviously beef, but there were some vegetables in it that Ani didn’t recognize.
“Go ahead and try it,” Zephyr said.
Ani took a bite. He chewed it a bit and then dove straight to the milk and downed half the mug. “Damn! Why is it so hot?!”
“It’s got fire peppers straight from Ramali. I met a merchant who was willing to give me a good deal on a whole box of them. You get used to it eventually.” He took a bite. “It tastes good once you get over the pain.”
Ani took another bite. It was pure agony on his tongue, but as he chewed, he found that it did taste good. He kept eating it, drinking lots of milk to wash it down.
“That bruise is new.” Ani pointed out the fresh bruise on Zephyr’s cheekbone.
“Oh…that. Mother got angry at me again.”
“Again? I understand that she’s the only person you can rely on to teach you the culinary arts, but you should really try to stop her. You’re old enough.”
“It was my fault anyway. I broke a dish.”
“That doesn’t warrant a blow to the face.”
“Enough about that. How was your day?” Zephyr asked.
“Pretty good overall. A little annoying at times.”
“Really? What happened?”
Ani debated about telling Zephyr. He knew he could trust Zephyr with anything. He trusted that Zephyr wouldn’t judge Nulla by the color of her hair and eyes. Zephyr knew what it was like to look different from other people with his dark brown skin color. Zephyr’s skin was lighter than his mother’s, who had the ebony skin characteristic of Mentallo, and he didn’t have her thick accent, but he was still judged by his skin, despite his late father being a well-liked Deitorian citizen. “There’s just this kid I know who was being annoying.” He spooned a mouthful of his dinner and immediately felt the sting of heat. “Goddamnit, why the hell do I keep eating this? It hurts so bad.”
“Because it’s good.” Zephyr laughed. Then, suddenly, his smile turned nervous. “It’s good, right?” He asked with an uncertain look on his face. He then took a bite of his own food and changed the subject. “So what did this kid do?”
“Well…” He needed to lay down some context if he was going to explain. He was still hesitant, however. “I have this friend…”
“You made a friend?!” Zephyr’s eyes widened in disbelief.
“Yes, and she’s a little sheltered—“
“It’s a she?!”
“Yes, it is. And I go to visit her at her house a lot—”
“She lets you in her house?!”
“Yes, and the exasperation is getting pretty damn annoying! Anyway, she’s not allowed to come into town, so I have to walk a few miles to get to her. She has a twin brother who’s pretty protective of her for certain reasons.”
“Wait, why can’t she come to town?”
Ani paused. He’d kept Nulla’s secret for so long, he wasn’t sure he wanted to let it out now. But then he thought, Lysander would be pretty pissed if I told someone else, and even more so if I took him to meet Nulla. Ani smiled a devious grin. “You know what? How about I take you to meet her tomorrow. That’ll give you all the context you need.”
“Eh, really?”
“Yeah. She’s a great girl. I’m sure you’ll like her.”
“Alright. I can ask someone to cover for me in the afternoon. “
“Sounds great. I’ll come get you tomorrow about an hour after noon.” Ani smiled.
Children are chosen at birth to be the next Child of Death - a chilling fate that means when they turn 18, they must relinquish their soul to become a reaper - to travel the world and set free the souls of the recently deceased. They're marked from birth with tattoos on their dominant arms, designs spiralling each birthday, showing the world that they've been chosen.
Ani is 15 and the current Child of Death. It's a fate he doesn't want, as it marks him as an outsider. He's only got one friend, Zephyr, a budding and talented chef - but Zephyr isn't around when Ani is running away from the towns bullies. He happens upon a beautiful, flower filled garden when he trips over a rock. He's helped up by a beautiful girl, Nulla, who appears to be just as lonely as he. She's a 'Color', someone with bright golden skin and eyes, and curly silver hair. Colors are much maligned in their society, and as such, she's lived a solitary life with only her twin brother, Lysander, and their guardian Cecile as company.
Ani, Zephyr, Nulla and Lysander quickly become friends, and cook up a plan to try and help Ani escape his fate. They plan to go somewhere where Nulla won't be discriminated against, and where they can all be free.
I was drawn to this book because the tropes honestly sounded right up my street. Unfortunately, A Grave of Flowers did not quite deliver. The narration was clumsy, moving around too quickly. The conversations didn't feel organic - they felt more forced. There was also many cases of info-dumping. We learn about Ani's legacy all in one go, instead of it being drip fed throughout the story. Scenes move from one situation to another with no breaks - leaving the reader unsure about what's just happened.
It's honestly a shame, as Attler's world was a bright and interesting place to be. The story just needs polishing up and some refinement for it to be above parr.
S. A.